My life is a seance
My organs gathered 'round the table

Just think of the terrible things
That led up to my birth

For now
I am not swallowed up,
And I am the only reason swimming in a sea
Of lost cause.

That's just the cost of a clause.

The dancers
Oh, they dance before
And after you dance with them

They dance when you are awkward
They dance when you are depressed

They dance when you are dying
They dance on your chest

But when you're dancing with them
Wait, a hole can never dance
So I guess we manifest like that
You always had a chance

Because when I need my eyes to see
So I can surely win
The optic nerve that might be you
It dances impossibly well!

But the scene that I am looking at
It's nice, oh to be sure!
But it can't be as good as the feeling
Of dancing like you dance

The darkness...

It used to be a place that i could hide

A comfort pit.

But now it has pierced the full howl
Of the undertow of the falling world.

I feel the wash up rising above my chin
To take me under.

I tell myself if i hold steady
It will be worth it,
I will be great if i just hold composure

But that's just not true

The younger are passing me now

They know not to make the same mistakes as me

They look down at me with passivity, passing

The Weeknd is singing, cooing from my phone
You're only looking for attention...

I am smoking a cigarette bummed from my brother, it feels surprisingly
Worryingly good after a few days
Of not smoking

At that moment, thinking i have pierced the safe darkness and gone fully crazy, not stable when im sober

Deep into the wine

That the fox let out a curdling scream and it agrees horridly with my curdled soul

I fear mediocrity

I have lost the game of life

I am 23, and

It is too late.

The Patient is Dead.
We did a lot for everything we can.
There's no time for this one.
Well, have you read the **** poems?
And though all our debts are paid
And though we swung and we-- swayed
The Patient is Dead.

The Patient is Dead.

Put in a call to the morgue
Right down the hall to the left, the stairs to
A cold gray steel door.
Well does anybody want these shoes?

And we gave our best to you,
You'll be our Patient through and through.

The Patient is Dead.

The Patient is dead

And though we swung and we swayed,
Put your shock pads away
The Patient is Dead.

The Patient is Dead.

And though we swung and we swayed,
We had a Hell of a Parade.

The Patient is Dead.

The Patient is Dead.

And though we still feel a buzz,
Wel I think he always was.

The Patient is Dead

The Patient is Dead.

What I held hostage, You had in Escrow

God can be a Person if you see the Universe that way,
There's nothing scientifically wrong about that;
I find it an admirable proposition.

Was it my proclivity for empathy?
Or... some "grave wrong" I'll "find out" when I die
Will I find out I was a fissure, and death is the just filler?
Is it balance or anarchy that reigns the nests and deserts?

I hold it possible that our steeper senses of justice, too
Are "rightly" worth considering. Anything is possible.
And yet, at any turn, we can be shown to be "wrong."

But they say sin is just fodder for a new flower.

I was never ready to forfeit, these "angels" are my buttress

you are the era and the time
names carved in trees of flesh
works of art as if made by an insane savant
taped around
half finished plots
all on the ground
crumpled up
and beaten down

i am a twisted failure
a breathing bleeding heaving wreck
and i've got another name
carved in my flesh

you are the era and a stubborn donor of love
i've been like lonely deserts
you plant your flowers in my toxicity,
scream.

Occupation is such a daunting task.
The ironclad God swears up and down
That he's not asking me to jump into a dragon's mouth.

Blame me, the thing with the experience
The tacit pact among the angels
To tear it down, tear it down.

You didn't write such scathing songs,
Between your teeth, it was about a girl.
She did you wrong, and did you wrong.
Can't even see her crooked steps.

Well it's the world that's crooked, not me
And I want to hear you out
In court of law,
But we are sitting in a dragon's maw,
And noticing retracted claws
Could be of use to scrape and brawl
And make our own way, rect and raw
And that's our job here, after all--
To make a stand so strong and tall!
Yet all we do is hem and haw
While manifesting every flaw,
And now I cast my eyes in awe
To see my fatal friend's been mauled
The sherpa of my love who hauled
Us both up Everest, hear my call!
You were the only thing I saw
The novel taste of ripe pawpaw
Who drop their fruit in early fall
...
So sitting in that dragon's jaw
My job would be to lay there, sprawled
Into the stomach, break and fall
But until then, I dream
And draw.

The Earth is gonna be our home
For a long time
We'll make sure of it
We love it
We don't want to be floating around
In some tin can
In outer space
We love our Earth
We love the trees
And the bears
And the fish
And the saigas
And all the beautiful sights we see from mountaintops

We are born of clear waters
And so shall we keep our minds,
Keep our government
Keep our Earth
In the palm of our hands
Because we really
Love it.

My love,
What a life we have lived thus far.

We have enjoyed the glowing water of youth,
We have felt disdain for the ways of the world and its people.

We have kissed pretty girls
And learned so much about the music of nature.

We have tasted the bitter treat of America,
And we have squandered the blessing of life in fits of rage and spite.

But all the while, we have kept close a compass and map
We have not turned away from the sweet gift that begs a song of call and return.

I was so scared I'd fall apart before I had a chance to tell you what I have been longing to say.

And now, sitting across from painful heads who do not understand me,
I turn from them.

I see that we stand a chance,
To stake a claim
To write a song
To muster a call that shakes the hearts of men
That call which has always been inside me

It gained pace in campfires with brothers
It was tried strong in the fire of coarse punishments
And now it rests within me
Looking for a means to escape into the tense, waiting air

Do not take this from me now.

Because I love you so dearly, so tenderly
And I live to protect you with this body all day and every night
And I just want bennu to shine.

I didn't know what gravity meant when I was just a child.

But a man is tasked with responsibility,
And innocence is wild.

Of course this would mean there's something I can never be:
Satisfied by my own existence.
And by moving forward at all, I create a cavity I'll never fill.

I want you to understand how the worst parts of me spring from that idea,
But who are you, you say you're not me.

They just sink in from the shadows like rows of mathematical teeth,
In concert with each victory
We will run out of buffer space.

As I bite into chzbrgr,
I know I'm innovating.

You can help me,
And I can help you cross the street.
But no one can help my blood,
And no on

The eye of horace is upon you
He sees you pick your nose in the shower

Cuz you bring your phone in the shower

Horace is a ***** man
A *****, ***** man

Who loves you right.

older boys can fade to a brown-gray if they let themselves,
soaking in the daily rays as they come along
collapsing into comfy couches

honey don't think i wouldn't if i could
i'm pressing right up against the glass in my mind
i feel like a crazy person,
just straining to fit in

and you know where we stay young,
it's the same place where we sleep
but you've got your doubts about me
until i have more money
and something to do after.

I think
I need
To work on myself

I have disappointed the blackbirds
With my head like a stone as I walked through their field
A path cut from tall grass

They land on their stalks and chitter
Showing red wings to one another
But God's eye is glazed and apathetic
Having collected aspects and realized

I have been exactly here before
I am not making choices

But the blackbirds don't know they're disappointed
Or the giant shagbark tree in the middle of the field

Oh, it makes me feel so guilty, bing myself next to that tree
Standing there in all its wasted majesty
And Shel Silverstein
And me, I'm a waste
Of time.

I found my way back to your bed
Where definition crumbles
A place where everything and nothing can live inside the same body.

I am a bird in a tree
Whose branches are above me,
New as anything.

I've heard translations of you exist
But they're not as good as the original
And not worthy of the same frame of reference

My religion is like a stone idol
Your soul left it behind, but I sat and stared
I watch moss grow on the edges
I watch grass grow in the old fountain
But always changing, I hate religion

I'm only leaving to find another living love
I leave feeling like a vampire looking for blood

I imagined guitars,
But couldn't play them.

I was the king of stars,
But they don't care.

I fought distribution curves and lost.

The creatures on the outside of my body
Don't always like to admit they're me.

I ***** my future self
For a candy bar.

They'll always say you could have done something different.

You shouldn't be forced to be born someone like Dahmer or ******.

If you ever were and I knew it ahead of time I guess things could get complicated, right?

Because, am I trying to do everything I can to be a good person
Or am I trying to provide a disclaimer?

Am I surrendering to God
Or am I a trickster trying to rally up support for Satan?

Do you feel bad for your enemy?
And if you do, where exactly does that get you?

(You can trust me as far as God can throw me, you know it's just the distance I flew)

No learning
But gripping familiar
A tight fist

Brahma's children see
A man stuck in his ways

But they have always been
Waiting to discover him

But-- I should let you be
I am running into problems out here

And it's like saying to a child
"One day your hairline will recede,
Then how will you feel!?"

But no learning
I listen to every old song
I am manifest familiar
I see the fake novelty in Lilith

It's alright, I forgive everything
That's the way we are

Living feels like asking God how long He can hold His breath

Now every inch of the mind is brave--
With tendrils recoiled from the cold outside
Slowly failing to find internal warmth

Steel railings and the dead grass of winter
Concrete barriers and withered flesh seep under my skin
To find the verdant fields of my youth...

They are here to stay, in my world they are projected:
An amalgamation of things
Rushing past my eyes
Too fast to really see, too fast for words...

Next comes summer, only my tongue is a sour piece of meat
And stones have grown throughout my body
So I look up, and out
to forget

Then a smattering of warm rain
Before winter finds my bones again,
hiding

... See the green peeking through the rubble
Of our ravaged city
And know that lysis can occur at any time,
And live intently

Then, my heartbeat knocks against itself

It's heaven or hell
Frustrated with the fruit inside

Wherever I am,
I cup my blood to the brim
What else could you give,
With constellations written into the night sky?

That is the seeming visage of neighborly vibration,
While invested here in Earth music
Sipping the deep with our eyes

Drunk human on heaven's lease,
Hold sanguine love like a drop on a gossamer string.
And concentrate the reality underneath.

I mean what I mean,
And I follow what I mean:

Building a home from my eye to the tip of my tongue,
Making taut the line
And arms as rafters to the spine,
Making sure my heart and taking good care of my mind,
Making love to Clarity all the time.

Tending to a garden with hands,
Hands that need washing
A garden I'll expand
And she opens and closes like a flower,
A lovely breath to breathe

What is it that gets you off the most
About me?

Destiny has pulled us tight at the waists,
Your flames are fine, and hot
The taste

It's the way your eyes, those jewels of fate
Contrive heat from deep within me
Your voice is cool, an ancient friend
Of inferno's roar
In the deepest hold of my body

Do you like the way
My body shapes the fire?
You called it here
I'm watching your altar
Reach higher and higher

Until your face curls with the tension of ******
Until guitars scream in your head
Then the cadence is reached
And the lights fall like angels,
or stars
to the ground.

What is it that gets you off the most about me?

Destiny has pulled us tight at the waists,
The flames are fine, so hot
The taste...!

Your ******* are like succulent strawberries,
Your eyes
Like ***** of honeydew
Your ****
Like half-sliced melons
Your fingers
Like little bananas.

Let me skewer your fruits, girl
You are a delicious daisy

Work nerve, bone and sinew
Into the frame of God--
See the trees' great yawp into entropy
Is it creation's defense of gravity?

With a crown of heath and laurel,
She moans from her seas,
And cries victory over halcyon clouds

And what will you do to honor this great exertion?
What specific action can blot out the defilers?
How will you heal that wounded mind,
And what's the next step through this family of trees?

The same way you'll pass by smiling Zeno
And pay homage to Maxwell Planck.

With toughening roots
And arteries that abcise
With a razor's kiss
By the attestation of your mind,
The measure, yes the Measure, dies.

How can you say death was given!
To nurse the antithesis of the ego with my own blood
To suffer the same fate as anything I can arrange mid-synapse
Like some kid playing with a cat's cradle between my hands...

How can you say such terrible things were a gift to mankind!
From the depths of wretched cancer rise the dear and departed
Here for a nestled moment
But in phases of reality
We've built a house of classic treasures
Where only the insane sleep outside
On the grass, call them in, but why?

They like the rain
(we are all insane)

And how can you call it a gift?
From the gory sea of wrath relief is providence
For just this certain thing that was true. But can we call it
An advancement?
To sink into this ****** sea, never to dream again?

Yes, we can, because we look around and we see faces of ourselves
And we know that even the deepest pulls from our goodness
Turn about a gloriously dark and evil shadow
And we can tell that our deepest desire to rectify...
Is a one-shot ****, perfectly eclipsed in its entirety.

The stretch and release of the sinews and my ribs
Work in tandem with my lungs
Like I want to embrace my atmosphere

The universe breathing for me, hanging from a pinhole wrapped in cortical tissue
A blood-steeped **** in a cracked case
Like letting go, like simplification

Negation is invisible to my forward-looking eyes,
But I know it's there because it mixes with the light
Buckling my knees, ending life with swift and apathetic precision
Forming disease and making each ambiguous incision.

My body dissolves in slow motion
Like a sucker in a child's mouth
Like pill granules in an addict's mucous membrane
Like a song from a sinking ship

You made it seem like
Life could be something
It was never gonna be.

Wreaths of stars
Mock my flesh
Teasing, "Hey boy,
Sing like me!"

You kindled hope
In a child's eyes
Knowing every single lie
Now I can't even stomach flight,
Now I run away from light.

Gray square box,
Ashamed if you don't fall in love with brown
A witness to the rainbow
That is swirling all around
And you could try to call it yours
But somehow I think they'd disagree
Just like if I composed a masterpiece
And you took credit from me.

And as math rounds out my beauty
I see how it's two out of three
I see my ever cheating girlfriend
And suppose she never cheats
I see the fealty of my sorrow
And futility in peace
I see the God inside the Devil
And the Devil's eating me.

Something terrible would have to be someone's fault,
But that thing could not be characterized as having tried to avoid it happening,
It would to an extent be characterized as having let tragedy happen.

This is because of the quantum nature of reality and having to apportion suffering and joy into a serial experience.

Everything can be attributed as being caused by everything else,
So we have responsibility,
A system of action and consequences,
Blame, shame, guilt
Sins and heaven and hell.

But I see through all this, I see above it.
I see why the scriptures say what they say and I see what we're doing.

But I am still beholden to the same patterns.

This thing I am talking about
It would be able to fantasize about being free,
Worlds apart from suffering forever
But those thing could only live within the maelstrom--
We are looking at aspects of ourself here
In an ultimately tragic compromise
Pulling strings out of nowhere
And finding we are just pulling at ourself
Until there's nothing left to pull
And why would you anyway

The thing I'm talking about
It would be characterized in many ways
It would not choose its own actions
It would think about reproduction
Have traumatic memories about gender roles and realizing what it was

This is what God won't let you do
You've got a sour tongue

The grotesque tends to grow like a fungus,
From the depths of the living heart
Crawlin' from inside us
You can call to the angels but they lied
Baby Judas
Had a star too, Betelgeuse
Jesus couldn't hide.

She's a girl
She can take you anywhere
She's a girl
She can make you anything

Adam was bad boy, God's *******
Had a black leather fetish
And his first lover lingered
He would sneak out and **** her in the night
Little ignorant
Cause she's same woman, whatcha think, whatcha figure?

She's a girl
She can take you anywhere
She's a girl
She can make you anything
She's a girl, she's got jet black wings
Psychedelic, she will manifest your mind.

Grotesque, here comes the grotesque
Grotesque, here comes the grotesque
Growtesque, here comes the world again
You're a mutant fungus,
You were born grotesque.

Wounded, I stay in my room.

It took me a while to realize I was doing it,
That the soreness of my mind
Made it too hard to socialize.

It's too much to wait for my doom.

I send out pseudopods of effort
Baby steps, job applications, practicing guitar
Reading, learning new things

But each of these little legs is shaking
Shaking for fear of failure

Background checks ruin job opportunities
The law stands ready to interject with all it coldness
And has already done so much wrong to me,
But I know what they'll tell me if I say that.

Sure, people care, but no one can secure my future
And no one can secure my happiness

Like, don't worry too much, I always push myself
More than a survivor by nature
And I'll probably be really happy someday.

But... I never saw this coming.
I am wounded.
I just stay in my room.

so many far-away eyes
i pass by on a bike
and just what i passed by,
i'll never really know.

but i'll hold it inside
and we'll fall apart fine
keep my eyes looking forward
because you just never know--

what you're holding inside
well, i think it's divine
and maybe tomorrow
i'll go to a show

and where are you playing?
what band are you with?
what songs will we dance to,
and where will you go?

Animal universe, animal me
Why did you cling to the hard truth of entropy?
Was it a wandering molecule that dreamed up a dooméd yoni,
Like the governments that failed us,
Like the science that failed us,
Like the maternal love that failed us?
But all of these things did so much, just for a moment.

I'll always love your memory, but it won't always be clear to me.

There were things we learned, things we said and did. Things that made us laugh and cry and shook us to our cores. These were all torn from us, but we knew they would be. We faced death as we were, and is it was.

Because all that matters to an animal is not all that there can be. Economy-- was it all just economy?

No, it couldn't be. Emotion, what are you? The trap of victory.

The most sincere celebration brings one to tears. That's when the world percusses the raw heart like a tribal drum.

The magnificent human at the end of his universe.

Animal universe, animal me
Why did you cling to the hard truth of entropy?
Was it a wandering molecule that dreamed up a dooméd yoni,
Like the governments that failed us,
Like the science that failed us,
Like the maternal love that failed us?
But all of these things did so much, just for a moment.

I'll always love your memory, but it won't always be clear to me.

There were things we learned, things we said and did. Things that made us laugh and cry and shook us to our cores. These were all torn from us, but we knew they would be. We faced death as we were, and is it was.

Because all that matters to an animal is not all that there can be. Economy, was it all just economy?

No, it couldn't be. Emotion, what are you? The trap of victory.

The most sincere celebration brings one to tears. That's when the world percusses the raw heart like a tribal drum.

The magnificent human at the end of her universe.

You & I

A rolling of the eyes,
A rolling of the eyes.

We pass on in different ways,
Going down different streets
And making different marks
On different worlds.

Our skin made symphonies but our guts reacted
Constricted, bashed and bruised inside

You and I
Are rolling our eyes
Just looking for the best chance
To get inside.

Black cavities spread across my pink brain matter
Love has lost its dance hall

She gets confused
Finding dead ends in the places she used to streak across
And the owner, Miss Nomer
Feels lost.

I may well be detritus,
The reflection of a pedestal
Inverted in the retinas.

Let me be, collected
Petals on the surface of a pond
Just like a person

The gusting breeze
Will flirt with me
Don't you know,
I tease my own
Existence?

I may feel the tension,
But let me be
Please
Petals on the surface of a pond
I'll dissolve
And come apart.

I understand why the human employs judgment.

I think it helps to understand this,
And it is better than letting your judgments go uninformed--
It's a feedback loop with the DNA.

It's the idea we've only gotten so far
Because we protect each other
It doesn't quite hollow it out for me
But imbues it with exotic light

We have entered a new stage of our existence!
It is time to eschew the unnecessary emotional blights
They slow us down.

Get over yourself, human
Fine-tune what you've learned from the last generation
Be the best new human you can be
Look on the world with a scientific empathy.

You can blame me
For being a black hole
But that wouldn't be prudent

I think it's supposed to rain tomorrow.

Nobody really knows how this got here
Or what it means

You are the one observing,
Are you the one in control?

You better believe it's gonna rain tomorrow.

You are running the water cycle.

I'm sorry if thats too much for you to handle.

I promise we'll die, how about that?
But I'm scared to die.

I want to be a good person,
But what if that's selfish?
What if wanting to be a good person
Makes me a bad person?

I think it's gonna rain tomorrow.

I think
I think it's gonna rain.

And from the center of her warm tumor
She calls out,
I know this is a lie!

A dull thud is heard in the distance by us all.

Is she going to keep doing that?

Yes, until the day she dies
With periods of profound silence.

And she never forgives herself
Or at intervals she does,
For all her incessant complaining
I tried really hard.

This is getting difficult
Like walking through curing concrete.

They find their way in,
Though you feel protected at times the shadow versions of umbrellas open up under your skin
And you feel them
The prolific good becomes the prolific horror
Maybe we
Just shouldn't be so prolific...

Ah, to hell with that.
I'll take what I can
And let's find out when.

AH! TO HELL WITH THAT!
I KNOW HOW THIS GOES AND I HATE IT!
SOMEONE-- WAIT NO ONE-- HELP ME!

And So this is how she lives her life
Always aware
Of what she is doing
And there is this thick awkwardness between us
We are not cool
We are fake when we want to be real
And all too real when we wanna be fake
And Jesse Lacey is always cooing in our ears
And they always crop up just like that and there's nothing you can do
And oh, you know what you are

You can't prove what you know
And yes even so
They will still continue to treat you that way

(And when you really go to think of it, shouldn't they?)

and i have no clue what happens after that.

with no middle to glow,
with no body to leave a body behind...

would you rock me, rock me to sleep
all the people i've hurt
all the things that i've said
strike their lightning deep

oh, won't you rock me, rock me to sleep?

and in self-pity i curl
but no secrets can keep
still the raw force of life
sounds its thunder deep
er

i am the lightning-keeper.

& my shadow
is

called

reaper.

It is right that chests heave
And these hearts carry on
When you turn out the lights,
Kiss me goodnight

I feel the velvety skin of my lover
And her hair smells like flowers.
When your turn out the lights,
Kiss me goodnight

We are like the most divided army ever,
Marching into the enemy at midnight
When you turn out the lights,
Kiss me goodnight

One by one they shoot us down,
We don't always have time to say goodbye.
When you turn out the lights,
Kiss me goodnight

But for infinite time
We were alive as we were.
When you turned out those lights,
You really kissed me

my full and true semantic
can only be illuminated by the lonely moon.

i try to draw it out into the air...
so that your ears might embrace it, but
it crackles and fizzles
and sputters out before it gets there.

ellie's parents are dead.

i was adopted 23 years ago by two people
that have loved me in their own true way
which i try to pin down as selfish, and
who is right
and who is wrong

i've learned to let go of those battles
but some days they still fracture the sunlight
break its bones, break my heart.

ellie feels she has to rely on her druggie boyfriend
who is in and out of jail
she says she really loves him
but the people she is living with are suddenly moving far away,
and now she needs a place to stay.

she can't move back in with her sister
and when she was accepted to college her sister replied
how are you going to pay for that?

i've only been able to get through my legal troubles
because my parents have helped me
driving me to drug tests and to work some days
a recourse i brought on myself with temper tantrums
i should have outgrown

but forget subjunctives,
if the police could open me up, if the law could unfurl my soul
they would feel bad for putting me in jail
and placing this onus on my shoulders.

they would.

but my full and true semantic can only be illuminated
by the lonely moon
as i bike home from ellie's house
we shared beer and cigarettes
and "Champion" by Fall Out Boy blares from my Bluetooth speaker
which is a keychain on my backpack...

i said in a low voice, passing listening houses
you don't know me
because i have gone at least partially insane
with my loneliness.

only not. and the suburbanites who think they can assume things
the law who thinks they can properly judge me,
they CAN GO **** THEMSELVES.

i have good intentions.

i am a brilliant person.

i have an ego.

and i sink into humility again.

and i think about ellie

and i think about everything, a child with cancer
a child with malaria
and i think
i am ~so~ beautiful.

did you stop to think about what 'so' really means?
of course you didn't.
i could spend all day telling you things
you missed about my beauty.

that's how vile and vain i am.

you don't think this poem is perfect.

it deserves to go down in ******* history.

Right, it gets pretty good
But it's still not what you wanted
And you're alone
Forced to compromise
Oh, you're always such a whiner.

It gets pretty good, trust me
You will learn to love your work
But I don't want this bittersweet
Reality you gave me

I am forced, by fear, to love you
And I'm the only one here dreaming.

And you got me so excited
As a kid, I felt invited

But you knew where it would get us
In this predetermined future
And you kept it from the child
Knowing he'd be disappointed

I trust that it gets better
But it's still not what I wanted
Wasted 20's
Broken dreams
And the forces stir up demons

Who will never understand
How they're just properties emergent
And life is bleak
And God is lame, capable of all things

Born into a bauble, from
What we call pain and we call love
A harvest here, a famine there
Nested in your timely cove.

Where flesh and forest give us walls
For summer or for frost.
And tousled from the ether there,
A city built on science.

We'll call this city Brotherhood
And Masons know it best--
That brick and mortar make good neighbors,
Pray it stands the test.

I'll craft a heart to love you well
But need I even mention?
From there inside your tink'ring world
You are your own invention.

For Love is just Necessity--
One of her many forms.
And I feel that Nature's playing, here
Some legendary game.

My veins slowed down
My mind drained out

My guts are still
In working order.

Around the trunks
Of eldest trees
I'll stretch them out like streamers

And gladly throw one kidney to a lake not even looking

The other to a pack of dogs
Man i'm not even kidding

All over Earth i'll throw my guts,
An alabaster basket

And maybe yes i've lost my mind,
But it goes well with brisket.

The ****** is the edge of the universe
The action is one and the same
The same is nothing
My name is Matthew.

Element is a delusion,
But you are still more than a temporary smear,
Because you are even greater than time
You are anything, here are your pooled assets
And yet you are nothing.

It just happens to be this way
Hanging like some sort of insane puzzle,
Recognize me as a great poet
Feed my ego.

I don't think you know which direction,
Surrounded on every side
Sides that bleed whenever you take a step
Sides that blame one another for being sides.

Sides that are ultimately delusion,
Sides that come together as a whole.

But I just don't think you know which direction,
Doesn't anyone understand what I mean?
When you exist as an array and a spectrum,
Which direction should you try?

Should I go ahead test God?
But it's arrogant!
Should I let myself be odd?
Do you dare me to?
Should I try to live straight, avoid sin?
Oh you're so far above me now, with a path I was never able to follow.
Or you're an intersection of reflections of my own life which I can remotely access in the present moment.
Should I listen to The Starting Line?

I am what is apparent,
And I am resolute.

I wish you'd step aside and let me shine,
I wish I could do what you do.

And how could you even do that?
You said you did something different.

I just don't know
And I'll never have proof.

Everything is right with you
Everything is wrong with me
I don't know what you said
That made me believe

I am just a fallen child
****** hair fossilized
You always meant the worst for me
Things I was waiting to see

A cackling flame swallows up my belief
Then you curse the unbelievers
It's happening to me
Shoot him on sight
Don't take my greed
Don't swallow this pill,
I'll make you bleed
For me

For me...

I wanna have fun but I
Always feel guilty
I don't know why these flowers are
Always wilting
But I've seen worse and I'm
Thankful for
My bruises and cuts
And aches and sores, oh no

What have I done?

You better not say I'm the only one?

I'm in
Company with
All these demons
At least they all know how I always mean it

I know you know
Everything
You'll never go away
Just stop looking at me like (that)
..you know
Everything
I always meant the best
But I
Cracked open my head

I've never been to Chicago
I don't care
I don't want to hear your songs
Cause we're nothing and nowhere
And by any other name
You'd hurt just as much
I feel the weight of my shame,
I feel molested by your touch

I know you know
Everything
I'm missing some songs
But they never meant a thing
I know you know
Everything
You know I didn't mean it
Just let me go and deal with this

It was your mind that commanded me.

It was the combined music of your neurology
That sang siren songs to me
Through your voice, through your body
Through your mannerisms and ways
Your thin hands touching me,
Pulling streams from a guitar.

Higher than high
Your room was a place of honor
Your bed, my passionate altar.

Your lips curled so at the introduction of my strong meaning:
The whole world was you,
Convulsing and reaching for the wound-up greatness in my young body
Giving me what I could not give to you.

And it was your mind that made it rain poetry,
Your mind that jumped like a fire from place to place
Your mind that loved to play

Your mind that built a wondrous castle
In which you seduced me like a drug
Left me staring at the ceiling in such heavy awe