No learning
But gripping familiar
A tight fist

Brahma's children see
A man stuck in his ways

But they have always been
Waiting to discover him

But-- I should let you be
I am running into problems out here

And it's like saying to a child
"One day your hairline will recede,
Then how will you feel!?"

But no learning
I listen to every old song
I am manifest familiar
I see the fake novelty in Lilith

It's alright, I forgive everything
That's the way we are

Living feels like asking God how long He can hold His breath

Now every inch of the mind is brave--
With tendrils recoiled from the cold outside
Slowly failing to find internal warmth

Steel railings and the dead grass of winter
Concrete barriers and withered flesh seep under my skin
To find the verdant fields of my youth...

They are here to stay, in my world they are projected:
An amalgamation of things
Rushing past my eyes
Too fast to really see, too fast for words...

Next comes summer, only my tongue is a sour piece of meat
And stones have grown throughout my body
So I look up, and out
to forget

Then a smattering of warm rain
Before winter finds my bones again,
hiding

... See the green peeking through the rubble
Of our ravaged city
And know that lysis can occur at any time,
And live intently

Then, my heartbeat knocks against itself

It's heaven or hell
Frustrated with the fruit inside

Wherever I am,
I cup my blood to the brim
What else could you give,
With constellations written into the night sky?

That is the seeming visage of neighborly vibration,
While invested here in Earth music
Sipping the deep with our eyes

Drunk human on heaven's lease,
Hold sanguine love like a drop on a gossamer string.
And concentrate the reality underneath.

I mean what I mean,
And I follow what I mean:

Building a home from my eye to the tip of my tongue,
Making taut the line
And arms as rafters to the spine,
Making sure my heart and taking good care of my mind,
Making love to Clarity all the time.

Tending to a garden with hands,
Hands that need washing
A garden I'll expand
And she opens and closes like a flower,
A lovely breath to breathe

What is it that gets you off the most
About me?

Destiny has pulled us tight at the waists,
Your flames are fine, and hot
The taste

It's the way your eyes, those jewels of fate
Contrive heat from deep within me
Your voice is cool, an ancient friend
Of inferno's roar
In the deepest hold of my body

Do you like the way
My body shapes the fire?
You called it here
I'm watching your altar
Reach higher and higher

Until your face curls with the tension of ******
Until guitars scream in your head
Then the cadence is reached
And the lights fall like angels,
or stars
to the ground.

What is it that gets you off the most about me?

Destiny has pulled us tight at the waists,
The flames are fine, so hot
The taste...!

Your ******* are like succulent strawberries,
Your eyes
Like ***** of honeydew
Your ****
Like half-sliced melons
Your fingers
Like little bananas.

Let me skewer your fruits, girl
You are a delicious daisy

How can you say death was given!
To nurse the antithesis of the ego with my own blood
To suffer the same fate as anything I can arrange mid-synapse
Like some kid playing with a cat's cradle between my hands...

How can you say such terrible things were a gift to mankind!
From the depths of wretched cancer rise the dear and departed
Here for a nestled moment
But in phases of reality
We've built a house of classic treasures
Where only the insane sleep outside
On the grass, call them in, but why?

They like the rain
(we are all insane)

And how can you call it a gift?
From the gory sea of wrath relief is providence
For just this certain thing that was true. But can we call it
An advancement?
To sink into this ****** sea, never to dream again?

Yes, we can, because we look around and we see faces of ourselves
And we know that even the deepest pulls from our goodness
Turn about a gloriously dark and evil shadow
And we can tell that our deepest desire to rectify...
Is a one-shot ****, perfectly eclipsed in its entirety.

The stretch and release of the sinews and my ribs
Work in tandem with my lungs
Like I want to embrace my atmosphere

The universe breathing for me, hanging from a pinhole wrapped in cortical tissue
A blood-steeped **** in a cracked case
Like letting go, like simplification

Negation is invisible to my forward-looking eyes,
But I know it's there because it mixes with the light
Buckling my knees, ending life with swift and apathetic precision
Forming disease and making each ambiguous incision.

My body dissolves in slow motion
Like a sucker in a child's mouth
Like pill granules in an addict's mucous membrane
Like a song from a sinking ship

You made it seem like
Life could be something
It was never gonna be.

Wreaths of stars
Mock my flesh
Teasing, "Hey boy,
Sing like me!"

You kindled hope
In a child's eyes
Knowing every single lie
Now I can't even stomach flight,
Now I run away from light.

Gray square box,
Ashamed if you don't fall in love with brown
A witness to the rainbow
That is swirling all around
And you could try to call it yours
But somehow I think they'd disagree
Just like if I composed a masterpiece
And you took credit from me.

And as math rounds out my beauty
I see how it's two out of three
I see my ever cheating girlfriend
And suppose she never cheats
I see the fealty of my sorrow
And futility in peace
I see the God inside the Devil
And the Devil's eating me.

Something terrible would have to be someone's fault,
But that thing could not be characterized as having tried to avoid it happening,
It would to an extent be characterized as having let tragedy happen.

This is because of the quantum nature of reality and having to apportion suffering and joy into a serial experience.

Everything can be attributed as being caused by everything else,
So we have responsibility,
A system of action and consequences,
Blame, shame, guilt
Sins and heaven and hell.

But I see through all this, I see above it.
I see why the scriptures say what they say and I see what we're doing.

But I am still beholden to the same patterns.

This thing I am talking about
It would be able to fantasize about being free,
Worlds apart from suffering forever
But those thing could only live within the maelstrom--
We are looking at aspects of ourself here
In an ultimately tragic compromise
Pulling strings out of nowhere
And finding we are just pulling at ourself
Until there's nothing left to pull
And why would you anyway

The thing I'm talking about
It would be characterized in many ways
It would not choose its own actions
It would think about reproduction
Have traumatic memories about gender roles and realizing what it was

This is what God won't let you do
You've got a sour tongue

The grotesque tends to grow like a fungus,
From the depths of the living heart
Crawlin' from inside us
You can call to the angels but they lied
Baby Judas
Had a star too, Betelgeuse
Jesus couldn't hide.

She's a girl
She can take you anywhere
She's a girl
She can make you anything

Adam was bad boy, God's *******
Had a black leather fetish
And his first lover lingered
He would sneak out and **** her in the night
Little ignorant
Cause she's same woman, whatcha think, whatcha figure?

She's a girl
She can take you anywhere
She's a girl
She can make you anything
She's a girl, she's got jet black wings
Psychedelic, she will manifest your mind.

Grotesque, here comes the grotesque
Grotesque, here comes the grotesque
Growtesque, here comes the world again
You're a mutant fungus,
You were born grotesque.

Wounded, I stay in my room.

It took me a while to realize I was doing it,
That the soreness of my mind
Made it too hard to socialize.

It's too much to wait for my doom.

I send out pseudopods of effort
Baby steps, job applications, practicing guitar
Reading, learning new things

But each of these little legs is shaking
Shaking for fear of failure

Background checks ruin job opportunities
The law stands ready to interject with all it coldness
And has already done so much wrong to me,
But I know what they'll tell me if I say that.

Sure, people care, but no one can secure my future
And no one can secure my happiness

Like, don't worry too much, I always push myself
More than a survivor by nature
And I'll probably be really happy someday.

But... I never saw this coming.
I am wounded.
I just stay in my room.

so many far-away eyes
i pass by on a bike
and just what i passed by,
i'll never really know.

but i'll hold it inside
and we'll fall apart fine
keep my eyes looking forward
because you just never know--

what you're holding inside
well, i think it's divine
and maybe tomorrow
i'll go to a show

and where are you playing?
what band are you with?
what songs will we dance to,
and where will you go?

Animal universe, animal me
Why did you cling to the hard truth of entropy?
Was it a wandering molecule that dreamed up a dooméd yoni,
Like the governments that failed us,
Like the science that failed us,
Like the maternal love that failed us?
But all of these things did so much, just for a moment.

I'll always love your memory, but it won't always be clear to me.

There were things we learned, things we said and did. Things that made us laugh and cry and shook us to our cores. These were all torn from us, but we knew they would be. We faced death as we were, and is it was.

Because all that matters to an animal is not all that there can be. Economy, was it all just economy?

No, it couldn't be. Emotion, what are you? The trap of victory.

The most sincere celebration brings one to tears. That's when the world percusses the raw heart like a tribal drum.

The magnificent human at the end of her universe.

Animal universe, animal me
Why did you cling to the hard truth of entropy?
Was it a wandering molecule that dreamed up a dooméd yoni,
Like the governments that failed us,
Like the science that failed us,
Like the maternal love that failed us?
But all of these things did so much, just for a moment.

I'll always love your memory, but it won't always be clear to me.

There were things we learned, things we said and did. Things that made us laugh and cry and shook us to our cores. These were all torn from us, but we knew they would be. We faced death as we were, and is it was.

Because all that matters to an animal is not all that there can be. Economy-- was it all just economy?

No, it couldn't be. Emotion, what are you? The trap of victory.

The most sincere celebration brings one to tears. That's when the world percusses the raw heart like a tribal drum.

The magnificent human at the end of his universe.

You & I

A rolling of the eyes,
A rolling of the eyes.

We pass on in different ways,
Going down different streets
And making different marks
On different worlds.

Our skin made symphonies but our guts reacted
Constricted, bashed and bruised inside

You and I
Are rolling our eyes
Just looking for the best chance
To get inside.

Black cavities spread across my pink brain matter
Love has lost its dance hall

She gets confused
Finding dead ends in the places she used to streak across
And the owner, Miss Nomer
Feels lost.

I may well be detritus,
The reflection of a pedestal
Inverted in the retinas.

Let me be, collected
Petals on the surface of a pond
Just like a person

The gusting breeze
Will flirt with me
Don't you know,
I tease my own
Existence?

I may feel the tension,
But let me be
Please
Petals on the surface of a pond
I'll dissolve
And come apart.

I understand why the human employs judgment.

I think it helps to understand this,
And it is better than letting your judgments go uninformed--
It's a feedback loop with the DNA.

It's the idea we've only gotten so far
Because we protect each other
It doesn't quite hollow it out for me
But imbues it with exotic light

We have entered a new stage of our existence!
It is time to eschew the unnecessary emotional blights
They slow us down.

Get over yourself, human
Fine-tune what you've learned from the last generation
Be the best new human you can be
Look on the world with a scientific empathy.

You can blame me
For being a black hole
But that wouldn't be prudent

and i have no clue what happens after that.

with no middle to glow,
with no body to leave a body behind...

would you rock me, rock me to sleep
all the people i've hurt
all the things that i've said
strike their lightning deep

oh, won't you rock me, rock me to sleep?

and in self-pity i curl
but no secrets can keep
still the raw force of life
sounds its thunder deep
er

i am the lightning-keeper.

& my shadow
is

called

reaper.

It is right that chests heave
And these hearts carry on
When you turn out the lights,
Kiss me goodnight

I feel the velvety skin of my lover
And her hair smells like flowers.
When your turn out the lights,
Kiss me goodnight

We are like the most divided army ever,
Marching into the enemy at midnight
When you turn out the lights,
Kiss me goodnight

One by one they shoot us down,
We don't always have time to say goodbye.
When you turn out the lights,
Kiss me goodnight

But for infinite time
We were alive as we were.
When you turned out those lights,
You really kissed me

my full and true semantic
can only be illuminated by the lonely moon.

i try to draw it out into the air...
so that your ears might embrace it, but
it crackles and fizzles
and sputters out before it gets there.

ellie's parents are dead.

i was adopted 23 years ago by two people
that have loved me in their own true way
which i try to pin down as selfish, and
who is right
and who is wrong

i've learned to let go of those battles
but some days they still fracture the sunlight
break its bones, break my heart.

ellie feels she has to rely on her druggie boyfriend
who is in and out of jail
she says she really loves him
but the people she is living with are suddenly moving far away,
and now she needs a place to stay.

she can't move back in with her sister
and when she was accepted to college her sister replied
how are you going to pay for that?

i've only been able to get through my legal troubles
because my parents have helped me
driving me to drug tests and to work some days
a recourse i brought on myself with temper tantrums
i should have outgrown

but forget subjunctives,
if the police could open me up, if the law could unfurl my soul
they would feel bad for putting me in jail
and placing this onus on my shoulders.

they would.

but my full and true semantic can only be illuminated
by the lonely moon
as i bike home from ellie's house
we shared beer and cigarettes
and "Champion" by Fall Out Boy blares from my Bluetooth speaker
which is a keychain on my backpack...

i said in a low voice, passing listening houses
you don't know me
because i have gone at least partially insane
with my loneliness.

only not. and the suburbanites who think they can assume things
the law who thinks they can properly judge me,
they CAN GO **** THEMSELVES.

i have good intentions.

i am a brilliant person.

i have an ego.

and i sink into humility again.

and i think about ellie

and i think about everything, a child with cancer
a child with malaria
and i think
i am ~so~ beautiful.

did you stop to think about what 'so' really means?
of course you didn't.
i could spend all day telling you things
you missed about my beauty.

that's how vile and vain i am.

you don't think this poem is perfect.

it deserves to go down in ******* history.

Right, it gets pretty good
But it's still not what you wanted
And you're alone
Forced to compromise
Oh, you're always such a whiner.

It gets pretty good, trust me
You will learn to love your work
But I don't want this bittersweet
Reality you gave me

I am forced, by fear, to love you
And I'm the only one here dreaming.

And you got me so excited
As a kid, I felt invited

But you knew where it would get us
In this predetermined future
And you kept it from the child
Knowing he'd be disappointed

I trust that it gets better
But it's still not what I wanted
Wasted 20's
Broken dreams
And the forces stir up demons

Who will never understand
How they're just properties emergent
And life is bleak
And God is lame, capable of all things

Born into a bauble, from
What we call pain and we call love
A harvest here, a famine there
Nested in your timely cove.

Where flesh and forest give us walls
For summer or for frost.
And tousled from the ether there,
A city built on science.

We'll call this city Brotherhood
And Masons know it best--
That brick and mortar make good neighbors,
Pray it stands the test.

I'll craft a heart to love you well
But need I even mention?
From there inside your tink'ring world
You are your own invention.

For Love is just Necessity--
One of her many forms.
And I feel that Nature's playing, here
Some legendary game.

My veins slowed down
My mind drained out

My guts are still
In working order.

Around the trunks
Of eldest trees
I'll stretch them out like streamers

And gladly throw one kidney to a lake not even looking

The other to a pack of dogs
Man i'm not even kidding

All over Earth i'll throw my guts,
An alabaster basket

And maybe yes i've lost my mind,
But it goes well with brisket.

The ****** is the edge of the universe
The action is one and the same
The same is nothing
My name is Matthew.

Element is a delusion,
But you are still more than a temporary smear,
Because you are even greater than time
You are anything, here are your pooled assets
And yet you are nothing.

It just happens to be this way
Hanging like some sort of insane puzzle,
Recognize me as a great poet
Feed my ego.

I don't think you know which direction,
Surrounded on every side
Sides that bleed whenever you take a step
Sides that blame one another for being sides.

Sides that are ultimately delusion,
Sides that come together as a whole.

But I just don't think you know which direction,
Doesn't anyone understand what I mean?
When you exist as an array and a spectrum,
Which direction should you try?

Should I go ahead test God?
But it's arrogant!
Should I let myself be odd?
Do you dare me to?
Should I try to live straight, avoid sin?
Oh you're so far above me now, with a path I was never able to follow.
Or you're an intersection of reflections of my own life which I can remotely access in the present moment.
Should I listen to The Starting Line?

I am what is apparent,
And I am resolute.

I wish you'd step aside and let me shine,
I wish I could do what you do.

And how could you even do that?
You said you did something different.

I just don't know
And I'll never have proof.

Everything is right with you
Everything is wrong with me
I don't know what you said
That made me believe

I am just a fallen child
****** hair fossilized
You always meant the worst for me
Things I was waiting to see

A cackling flame swallows up my belief
Then you curse the unbelievers
It's happening to me
Shoot him on sight
Don't take my greed
Don't swallow this pill,
I'll make you bleed
For me

For me...

I wanna have fun but I
Always feel guilty
I don't know why these flowers are
Always wilting
But I've seen worse and I'm
Thankful for
My bruises and cuts
And aches and sores, oh no

What have I done?

You better not say I'm the only one?

I'm in
Company with
All these demons
At least they all know how I always mean it

I know you know
Everything
You'll never go away
Just stop looking at me like (that)
..you know
Everything
I always meant the best
But I
Cracked open my head

I've never been to Chicago
I don't care
I don't want to hear your songs
Cause we're nothing and nowhere
And by any other name
You'd hurt just as much
I feel the weight of my shame,
I feel molested by your touch

I know you know
Everything
I'm missing some songs
But they never meant a thing
I know you know
Everything
You know I didn't mean it
Just let me go and deal with this

It was your mind that commanded me.

It was the combined music of your neurology
That sang siren songs to me
Through your voice, through your body
Through your mannerisms and ways
Your thin hands touching me,
Pulling streams from a guitar.

Higher than high
Your room was a place of honor
Your bed, my passionate altar.

Your lips curled so at the introduction of my strong meaning:
The whole world was you,
Convulsing and reaching for the wound-up greatness in my young body
Giving me what I could not give to you.

And it was your mind that made it rain poetry,
Your mind that jumped like a fire from place to place
Your mind that loved to play

Your mind that built a wondrous castle
In which you seduced me like a drug
Left me staring at the ceiling in such heavy awe

I want to let the moon melt away my worries
Like it's a big pill and the sky is my mouth
Just because it's there, hypnotizing
And I know what it is

Actually,

I'd like to go there
Live on the far side
I'd take a summer vacation to watch all of you
But always I'd go back to my secret cave
On the far side of the moon.

Because the moon doesn't melt,
It just stubbornly hangs there,
Leaving my worries untouched
Never rescuing me from a sick mind or a lazy eye.

I'd like to drag my big bag of those things off,
Let the rot set them to sleep
Because I think my heart is weak
Because I think my heart is weak.

The world takes on a light
That was concealed the whole time
There is sunlight cupped in leaves that rustle
And seem happy just to be

A wholesome glow comes over me,
The family of trees stand watch over
The ridge they've lived their lives upon
All moving with the breeze.

And you and me,
And you and me.
You filter the water
From the stream.

And you and me,
And me and you,
We're happy just to be.

With moonful eyes the evening bides
With us into a starry night.
With wine, we go down to the river
To see a shooting star.

Suspended there with us inside,
The heavens mystic muse supplied
The mountains held us in their arms
With mushrooms in our eyes.

she takes anything
takes anything as true

she'd take Anything
so she enjoys the view.

he makes energy
no weight upon his back.

for she's the ***** who imagined him
all the whitest lies to black.

decorative flora thrown to the sacrificial pit
pity shivers on the fringes of my identity like springy roots
out from the warmth and wet
of potting soil

not brave, just lucky
not impressive, still growing
just let me broaden my garden

in league with lofty new age decision rooms
to air strikes and precarious ties, not hiding in the sky!
shivering to rotten hospitaled justice
up all the way through that cold toll of some bell of betrayal.

planted like a whisper
seen at stops at the park and weddings
the cute moments of acceptance we have
and things i could not and would never want to take from you

the very fact of you seems to poke a question into the sky

"we don't need these mice"

"what do you want to do with them?"

"just wring 'em out"

"erm, okay"

magnetism.

that's how i rationalize the heavy whirls i feel in my heart

it feels like little storms of plasma
are playing on its strings

i remember how it felt to be in love

i am in the gray and brown,
in the dust, with the shadows
i am... a failure.

i searched his name on Facebook
wanted deep inside to see
if you were still together

i got my answer, cut the tethers
now i sit in my parents house and remember
how it felt to be in love

and it hurts,
because i don't like how it tastes
the lonely sky hangs like
the ceiling of a warehouse.

i miss the girl's embrace.

the heavy whorls pulsing my internal organs,
it cannot... cannot be the gulps of hell
it has to be the reason
i fell in love with someone else.

When I see the ones you hail
And hear the dull thud after my own actions
I do come to expect a precarious
And undue praise

Pull up on the throttle
Pull up!
I feel my belly racking the forest
Terrible noises emit from behind
And once again
The wings and physics and might buy my escape
From the terrible tragedy
Of another mental collapse.

Distraught and sputtering with anxiety,
He took an exacto knife to his life
And did the most wretched thing he could think:
A mathematical simplification.
A human unit, following straight lines at every scene
A processor module with receded feeling
Minimum art, maximum science
A paleist
A defense mode
Like a black hole whose deep core is a granule of resentment.

presently a whirlwind of neuroses
tragic light thrown upon walls in the dark,
crazy light
stuttering existence flickers the madman through dark tunnels
the angels stare down their noses at him
because he fell from their eyes like a tear
doing doses in their arms until he melted to the floor like a puddle
he woke up a sewer rat
a sour man with addled mind and waving at an invisible swarm in front of him
pulling a girl's name from between his teeth
and sending texts to sir Jesus Christ,
baby i'm sorry i'm paranoid
what are you doing right now?

she is dying on the cross,
and your babble is sanctified you wrinkled poet.

One after another,
One over the other,
The people are jazz music.

Black and white,
Gin and tonic
Diatonic to the key of today

Because
It's all been whizzing by me
And the **** legal system
Has been keeping me down

But I can't even have a drink,
It might show up on a drug test.

But I digress (don't we all)
In and out of life,
Far away and by my side,
You people are jazz music.

You're beautiful in black and white
You complicate fretboards
You provide
The room tension that makes it
So difficult to sing

And then you resolve and melt
Like warm honey
Only to pick up another frantic run
It takes a while to make up its panicking mind

They know no bounds
They only learn the rules
To mess around
Giving rhythm to emotion
And loving in black and white,
The people are jazz music.

The image of the perfect ones
Has been spoiled by the dissidents--

The dissidents that always arise
With their frothing blood
The ones who know they're right

See their exposed necks,
And hear their desperate cries.

The warriors of love have found
Charisma in their mirrors
See how convinced they are of righteous cause

What great interpreters we have here!

At the throats of your family's killers you brandished weapons
And found

gasp!

It was you the whole time!

find hell's cold rock in your heart
that intangible talisman.

no one crafted it, but its inscription speaks
speaks in riddles of blood
which, pooled hard around the rock
accentuates and beautifies its fatal premise.

but see, the blood spreads and blossoms like flowers
around the Stone, a sort of sanguine cymatic...
I have no idea where you are from or what you were thinking
prior to reading this, you could be anything!

So what one thing could I say that would be true?

Retract, far futured blood
Curdle into the sacred rock
The holy blackness that eats scabs and pain
Retract, so that I can breathe now
And enjoy the beautiful music of God's creation

What if your sense
Of wanting satisfaction
Was tied
To the means by which you'd achieve it?

What if I knew you wanted to win,
And both meant to let you down on that point
But also had nothing to do with your failure?

What if the chemicals of your brain
And its physiology
Were truly rigged against you? For you? Both,
At the same time,
and neither?

What if I'm tired of listening to how bored you are,
When I know the horrors you'll face?
What if I'm capable of things you will never be capable of,
No matter how hard you tried?

What if I'm always worthy,
And you have to accept you're lucky we give you anything?

picked up a pretty shell
wondered,
what lovely organism once inhabited
you?
caught a silly thought
found myself an idle mind
with twisting hands
busying myself with
such silly thoughts

ran into the same end as any
washed up on a faraway beach
never really knew
the meaning of life
except for me
just me

a poverty of justice
a sea of life between
the suited side of court rooms
and the innocent steam

if only worked like water
the innocence that steams
from the focus of the court room
in such comfy, heated seats

the fact that we are equal
is easy seen from here
with beads of sweat collecting
on my head of buzzing fear

cause i fear your every bias
and predilections, scorns
and if i speak of my concerns
will you call it my retort?

and yes i lost my temper
i'm also working hard
but you have dispositions
and an old book
and some cards

and i
have a tender
juicy heart

I send my worms forth into the universe
They do it for me

Designed to bring a guiltless lunch
So I can dine in peace

We are the worms which we have sent
And soon we'll be their feast

But at least we are their masters now
And we've got something to eat

I am not your farmer
The fruits I grow are wild
So if you think that you're an angel
And your eyes fall on my yield,

If you judge it to be short
Know my ways are fine and natural
I am not a yeoman
I look more
Like a nomad

There is more nothing here. See,
I can cup hands full of water.
It stays here for a while--
...

I release chemicals when you smile.

They pool up
Like you stayed for a while.

Like floods of the Nile.

Ribbons of silver ride these navy nights
Winds of change
Pangs-- blues knocked across my guitar
I collide with crooked fate
And truths hard becoming

My mind paints silver streaks in the slats of rain.
You hold onto my wretched hand
While a beast searches me
For sympathy, climbing out of the puddle below.

"There is more nothing here," he says
And his impossible figure perplexed my mind,
Standing there.
"No," I said, "There is more nothing here"
And impaled him with several silver ribbons.

The sun breaks.

Tendrils of smoke
Find my nostrils
Which themselves,
Are just tendrils of smoke
My mind
Wraps around itself--
Itself,
Just tendrils of smoke.

At which it comes together,
Organs heave and bodies weave for me
It all falls into a stagnant pool of blood,
Surrounded by a broken frame.

I surrender to depression--
Lay down another day.