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Sometimes Starr Jan 2019
The sound is born in the tension of a string
But what holds it tight is just a dream
And the echo tells me sweetly

I, too, must be a conduit
As dear to You as anything is
There's a deep, profound Incongruence
Between the inside and the Out

But no, I think there mustn't be
Because sometimes I feel numb.
And others, gush emotion for the
Ever-loving sun

And everything is as it should,
Unbalanced but for one
And on and on until my pretty
Chamber song is done
Soooo it's kind of this idea that I'm a person and everything else isn't, but it's interesting how people would look at God like he's  person. There's sort of an interesting idea in there that if this God is Nothing, it makes sense because so are we. There is an apparent incongruence there but it doesn't really exist. And anyway you're just playing with biological machinery meant for socializing.
Sometimes Starr Nov 2019
she creeps an icy finger up under my jaw to remind me
her hand clamps down and twists my head
forcing me to face it

grotesquely
her body twists and and out of mine
her dress flows around everywhere
the folds of fabric fall down and become the sky
you know what i mean

i wish she'd just suffocate me all at once
not slowly in a stupor
it's an insult to the kid

i can pull out sun wafers and pass them around
it doesn't matter
this crazy cadaver hit a hard truth deep down
it's gonna ring true for the rest of my time here
Sometimes Starr Dec 2019
The world meets my brain in acidic red
Puffy-eyed, childlike, wrong side of the bed
Swollen feet fumble for steps that seek only
To placate the mind for each baby bird moment

My golden track winds out to the sea
But it's empty
And I'm riding the much simpler bronze one
And not making it easy
Let this be our secret
We messed up, so quick
Pile on the dirt
And don't mark my grave
Sometimes Starr Oct 2017
Notice the way they fall apart
Maybe today was hard
There's help along that keenest sense
Asylum for the marred.

Notice the mingling of the light
With its fate-all counterpart
Notice the nuanced little things:
They'll light your lonely heart.

Notice the talent in this world
Beyond that glowing screen!
In steady gaze, the fall is known
To sharpen every deed.

And notice the gift of this embrace
A noticer often gives
How heavenly the table
When spirit truly *lives
have you ever "set the table" for someone? maybe it took them off guard? *I love you.*
Sometimes Starr Sep 2018
Whatever.
It doesn't matter.

This laptop's battery is gonna die,
and I'm gonna die,
and join the rubble
And all my memories will be lost
and all the strings that make me up
will be torn apart,
but i'm not lost.

I might as well just enjoy the moment,
take each ******-up stride
Take it one step further
Swinging wildly from the delusion of my life
Swinging crazily from my fickle mind

I don't feel based in anything at all
I feel like a foolish dream of the nether
My love is a wonderful fixture
Albeit temporary--
I'm not lost.
just thinking about how nothing lasts.
Sometimes Starr Jan 2019
When you're crazy
Those ideas
Seem pretty
Important to you.
Psychology
Sometimes Starr May 2019
My disjunct body parts produce exotic results,
A grey mush that does erupt at times with fire
And many different colors
But weaker for the strange arrangement
Of nervous tissue

Over time I have become sad and lazy
Over time i hope to become
A nice old man
Not too bitter
Not too blue
Sometimes Starr Nov 2016
This hour is a special autumnal brew
The air is imbued with wet leaves, and mushroom
ripening soil in the early dew.

Reflection in preparation
Contemplation, the casting of our stars
in the early morning

To wake in the celestial sea
And experience a Day of Life on Earth
Sometimes Starr Jul 2017
Now I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get itNow I get it
Sometimes Starr Oct 2017
i can't deny
the truth

i must drive the truth forward.
Sometimes Starr Aug 2021
Bone fragments under opened skin
Pieces of me across the universe
Crushed beneath the almighty weight

Dissipate

Vultures pick apart
The definition of an art
Creature and destroyer

Denature

Time wounds all things
But God makes them new again
A shipwreck at the bottom of the ocean

Motion

Cities burn and no one learns
Demons, angels take their turn
Backs against the wall
We all succumb,

Numb.
OCD
Sometimes Starr Jan 2022
OCD
Jay says that he has OCD.

I'm scared he might have plans to **** me.

Jay says

I'm scared

He has

He might

Jay says that he has OCD.
Sometimes Starr Oct 2017
twenty-three.

the identity of my great starcrossed lover is obscured,
a rotted-through shell
rocks back and forth
on wood floors behind.

i'm deep down inside
with notes tacked on my spine.
the writing desk of God
you will find pages and pages about it
you will find a poem by a girl
who ran off to become
destiny itself.

tirelessly our bodies tried
to prove love either wrong or right
now i'm a rising sphere of warm ocean water
and she is approving his spirit by night.

!

that is the body of Christ
a volume of works by Sir Charles Dickens!
an insanity that plagues
Only worthiest victims

i'm confused as other worlds
pour into you
and you fold outside-in
with all new landmarks
on your sacred skin...
Sometimes Starr May 2019
this carnival world wobbles on my reeling head,
listing here and twisting there, fumbled words
and hapless dread
i am the paradise walker who knows he is sane
who doesn't want to say,
who doesn't want to say
that everything is fine

i may not own land on the highest hill, sweet eden's ******* child
i may only have a silver 2005 honda cr-v
and a couple other things
and i may not have the key that unlocks the door
that hides the room
of shuddering riches
but for me it will be fine
with my jealous, smoldering eyes

i try hard
not to be that guy.
Sometimes Starr Nov 2021
There was molding and trim
Of Mahogany,
Rustic and intricate
Done in the old style

But it was the fire in the hearth that spoke to me

There were enchanted mirrors and magical tablets

But it was an old guitar, smoldering away into the night
That moved my spirit to fall in love.

It was a new beginning,
No second guessing.

Which side is winning?

The moon outside,
Swept into the sharp
Inhale of the universe

There, in the hearth burns
A new kind of fire on Earth.
Sometimes Starr Nov 2016
you are only as free as you are death,
you are only as ******* as you are
pointless.

you do not have rights,
you are mine, solid, fixture
for a moment

you have zero rights, Dis
and you are all mine.
Sometimes Starr Apr 2018
My arrow was straight
Most of the time

You were on my mind
You were on my mind

I was part of the order
Most of the time

You were in my eye
You were a secret spy

Were we just spinning lies?

But beyond that,
Solely said in solemn grace
One thing ever was
Love was love
And you were you
Once and once and once
Sometimes Starr Sep 2019
Another record turns--
The clay reunited with the riverbank.
She folds back into herself--
He puts a cigarette out on his shoe and walks back into warm dive bar *****.
A leaf shivers for fear of autumn's blade,
Its impending doom.

These things don't just happen,
They consume you.
They swirl into your dying-hungry pupils and make you as vividly insane as the world that pulled you out of it.

They cause your spine to sway like the heavy bird that has landed upon it.
Sometimes Starr Mar 2019
Oh yeah,
I love the way that song
Washes up on the beaches of your life
Like every molecule of the sea is a message in a bottle
A trippy concept for sure

Inhale,
Smell a familiar fragrance
Which puts the mind in a better place
Swimming like a dragon through the lifted skies,
Cardinal and pure
A thing born of salvaged treasure,
A story to be told.
Automatically characterized as
Automatically characterized.

Automatically characterized,
Automatically characterized.

Automatically characterized,
Manifest manifest manifest.

Automatically characterized
Out of an inherent nature!

No, you didn't try!
See look, you gave up here and there!
You don't care, stop saying that you care...psh, you are filthy.
No I mean you're a good person, but...

I am always have been always will be the expert of all things

No failure has ever occurred and you say

Sure, whatever you say...

And I will understand why you said that and I kinda do now but still

Automatically characterized
Automatically characterized
Automatically characterized

I want good for everyone I want gooooooood never bad I don't like bad
Sometimes Starr Jun 2018
old friend, rest your head on his shoulder
now time has made us older
and smoothed the scars we left each other.

old friend, running through so many cities
nervous nerves alight your pretty
eyes-- but when you settle down,
you coolly wear that golden crown.

how strange has the world made you?
i can tell you, it's cleaved my skull in two
and made me weary

but it has not yet broken my spirit.

old friend, where is your lover?
from the pictures my eyes have flitted over
in times my mind found need of memory
to set my soul against the Enemy

old friend, always running up and down
fire escapes-- we all have something to escape
and now it's all a mess again
so bat your eyes and say, "de rien"

would you believe i've gotten better?
by bitten tongue and earnest effort?

i hope that you are well,
you, where my love was broken in
you, where my song was listening,
but wrong

the world will hear it.
Sometimes Starr Feb 2018
when life forgets itself
you're floundering, rambling on and on
splayed out for the world to see.

you're turning a deep shade of red
the cheeks and ears fill up with hot blood
and there is just no right answer inside the body

the bitterness lingers, even when you laugh at yourself
you feel wrong, and silly
and you cringe at yourself

all the moments like this become one
and in self reflection, you wince.

it's not something you or anyone else wants to handle
they take a pass, you sink down
you experience suicidal thoughts

a seed of hatred for the world is planted--
do not water it with your blood.
find a way back to balance
make a statement of love in the universe.
Feathers are fine,
In my down blanket they are fine
A surface area to keep mine
Working the aspects
I'm in the after effects

Weather my spine,
Prove no point to me
Yeah that's fine
Trying to understand
Why I'm limited
I've wasted too much time

So I would explode
Against myself
Just to feel something
I might regret but I
I would explode
Against myself
There is no way to make it softer
It would seem...
It would seem extreme.
Sometimes Starr Oct 2018
I'm in the senate
The legislation I pass
Becomes the law of the land
My nation is small
And held like sand

I'm the police
This law enforcement
Executed perfectly by me
Shapes the whole world
And breaks a disease.

And I am in the council of death,
The decisions I make
Cost good blood and breath
Behind closed doors
Behind my mind
There is a need to die,
Deep inside.
Sometimes Starr Jun 2018
In me the universe is having an unholy seizure
There on the precipice resides my steeped cranium
Swimming with chemicals, turning the crown-harp over with destiny's hands

A cynical chord is struck, dissonant and sublime
A spine, by bolts of lightning, is realigned

The geometry of demons crosses my center until I reach a state of balance
To call on the help of angels
Who are only seen by the seeking mind

But turned over and over a black tunnel befriends me
And betrays me to the rest--
Which I've said I can rebel against.
Sometimes Starr Sep 2018
I know that life is open-ended
Just look at all the stars just hanging out in space.
But there's only one way we can mend this fall,
And they're following or wandering a way

I've tried to change up my perspective,
Just look at all the ways that I can see those stars.
But I cannot find a comfortable position here on Earth,
I guess I'll move to Mars.
Sometimes Starr Dec 2018
...

I know
What I am
Please don't assume
I don't.
Sometimes Starr Jul 2021
I turned my heart
Inside out
And saw the small black hairs.

I brought them up in Conversation,
Everyone just stared

It's too taboo
But true is true
And you know what they get up to...

But someone who
Stays true to you?
That's something to look up to.
Sometimes Starr Nov 2019
do you feel it, though?
your faith in someone's kindness-- it's chemical
it's tied to a biological mechanism that's been hammered out by time
a pattern
the human genome has in general identified certain actions that help promote itself
or, that keep it in its current motion

it isn't just that thought anymore.
that thought has unexplored context for most of us
most of us don't explore the depths present there

so, given that stopping there is not always the best option for the human--
what is it about that response to seeing another's kindness that may be too shallow?
are you perhaps biased in some way?
have you considered the negative aspects of it?
we have the math and we have the science
now we should arm ourselves with it.
Sometimes Starr Jun 2019
Orange sun--
Melt like a wafer on my tongue.
Keep me warm around the bend
Rope me in with all my friends

Hold my youth inside your face
Shuck its hate and save its grace
Looking strong into the end
Help a body to defend

Holes that tear across the sky
Will not frighten us tonight
Drop your light into the sea, but
Store your might inside of me
Sometimes Starr Oct 2017
O that brilliant mind
So treasured there, but not to find
Alight me to your inspiration
Tell me, in the wisps of happenstance
As pseudopods, formed from mine
Reach out into timely air
For new ideas, as I'm trying to capture
Good culture.

Like a living door to entirely new worlds
Inside a shell sunken to the deep
Never to be found again,
O that brilliant mind.

Like the unassuming thoughts of a passerby
Unseen potentials in those eyes
Like when you pretend you're boring,
You could never be boring to me.

Don't hide away your golden tale,
Expand your story, drape your veil
And know your song is never done
But lives on,
It's the only one.
I'm up here praying
Just hoping for a change

I felt his way in the dark
And drew conclusions

And the only weapon
To make it stop is me.

He doesn't want to be bad.
You might consider it a fact
That good intentions only go so far!

But consider that a person is unwittingly born
Into a world with such a vocabulary
And from that moment only wants good things for themselves
And for everyone else around them!

But it just won't stop you from turning on me,
Or me from turning on you,
Or however you prefer to frame it,
Or however it ends up being framed.

Spectra at war with themselves
People who are resolute
One path with many treacherous and cruel twists
Immutable reality

I love you
So much

I dont know exactly what will happen
But I know it must be deeply traumatic for all of us
And that's probably why I forget...
Sometimes Starr Sep 2018
What is your touch?
It is the physical sensation of electromagnetism repelling our atoms,
It's the chain reaction set off through my nervous system,
Culminating in my cortex, where it is comprehended as your touch.

In dim streetlight through your window,
With just a crescent of your face illuminated.
With your soft eyes, and memories of our backpacking trip mixing in
Like honey mixes with warm tea, or coffee.

With ***** brown curls around your head like a halo.


Still, what is your touch?
It is like a ripple through me, and it ripples out into the world
It is more present in my action every day
As you take down my walls
As your lips send soothing down to my core
As you make me believe
In love
Again.

It is everything that went into making you,
No better concoction
Has ever been brewed.

And the way that you move
Makes little eddies of awe that captivate my eyes,
They cannot move.

So you see,
It's not hard to convince myself
That your touch is everything.
Two ends of the universe,
You're setting me free

That anything happened at all
Was as great a miracle
As your touch is to me
It's giving me shivers
And melting my heart--
There is nothing in this world like your touch.
I see a broken world
Full of teasing and hissing demons
I see archangels building and denying pitfalls

I see a deterministic world asking me to take responsibility
I watch myself degrading, I
Am like the supermassive sisters in the sky

I can't say I don't want your world
They made side illegal

And I don't wanna get a job
And I don't want to deal with your opinion on it
And I don't want to deal with their supremacy over me

It's a broken concept;
Can't fix it.
Sometimes Starr Feb 2018
There is a road to the city
called Painted Husk Road
To the tops of the towers it goes.

There is a sign in the sky
With colors in code.
It's a whimsical, crazy religion.

You'll float along faster
If you vibe with the signs
The inside won't matter
If the outside is fine

Just know when you meet
Someone out on the street
They don't all waste time
Trying hard to be sweet

There's a bitterness there
In the judgment of men
What's the reason to even suspend?

When we're more chemicals
Than chemists,
Better teeth
Than are dentists,
Only parts of this body will mend.
Sometimes Starr Sep 2017
The halogen light threw orange sheets
Of light across her face
She felt like just another animal
Denim felt like a uniform
Drugs felt like a uniform

She wished she was a unicorn. No,
That's stupid. She wasn't a poet.
She wanted to do something meaningful but it never really happened.
Sometimes Starr Oct 2018
Before you opened up for me, I was settling down--
Guard up, hopes down, trying to carve a life.

Before you came around, I was sharpening my knife.

Your skin was so pretty in the rain. But you were so far away
Our words caressed and sexed in that summer's air, teasing possibility

When we met, you were a scintillating mystery.

Now you've spread petals up close to my pupils
The depth of your fortune, the breadth of that garden...

My guards never sought so direct a pardon!

Because you are the sweetest thing,
So befitting me.
And you've been a target of pain and misery,
But you've met it with strength.
And you've never been loved
The way that I'm loving
You.
I can't be overzealous when you're so much more than I honestly expected! I'm so surprised and so grateful.
Sometimes Starr Sep 2018
I've got
Peace in a box
Don't ask me about it,
Don't ask me about it!

That sly, sly fox
Ran away with my love,
Into the woods.

Oh how I miss
My little white peace
That I'd drink, I cry out
For its release!

How it ran down my front
And onto my belly
And I dipped my tail
And I sipped some more.
Sometimes Starr Oct 2023
One day the earth and sky will let go of each other
And you'll go shooting out of your head
And through the intensity of suffering you'll become an element of the sun

Yes you were everything you couldn't be
Struggling against itself
Vying for attention from itself
Or totally at peace

When you said you hated us we heard the call
We are eternally precipitate, and this is not a boast

There was nothing we could do

Every day dissolves these hired walls
Whose only job is ignorance:
Ignorance was my home
Awareness is a nightmare
Sometimes Starr Mar 2018
Pieces of me are falling to oblivion, but I've got a nice view
Told the doctor my skin still tingles when I think about you
These goosebumps and butterflies are part of my disorder
I've been reaching for a distant dream I know I can't afford

But you're the hook to my song,
The only evidence I have that this ever meant something
I know it's crooked and wrong,
You're the hook to my song

My passions melt me when I think about you
I just can't help it, everything that I do
Is like a dance around you
What you mean to me is life or death,
Stolen breath,
Loving life because you're just the way that it is
Whenever I think about you,
I find passion and purpose

The other day I thought about what you would say
In this sticky situation, because I haven't been okay for years
And I realized I love the way you love
I miss the way you speak
And you radiate something ineffable.
But I'm not lost without you and I just tend to gush.
I guess that I'm just after a rush.

But you're the hook to my song,
The only evidence I have that this ever meant something
I know it's crooked and wrong,
You're the hook to my song

My passions melt me when I think about you
I just can't help it, everything that I do
Is like a dance around you
What you mean to me is life or death,
Stolen breath,
Loving life because you're just the way that it is
Whenever I think about you,
I find passion and purpose

In the animal dance we danced
In the sharpening of my eyes and heart
In the quest for romance
You're my aching shooting star

You're the hook to my song,
The only evidence I have that this ever meant something
I know it's crooked and wrong,
You're the hook to my song

My passions melt me when I think about you
I just can't help it, everything that I do
Is like a dance around you
What you mean to me is life or death,
Stolen breath,
Loving life because you're just the way that it is
Whenever I think about you,
I find passion and purpose
Sometimes Starr Nov 2019
In my idle state
Evils percolate
Irritations at the waking
This is hell in the making

I bystand as serpents charge the throne
The subject who stood by
And no one knows why
But he froze

The flickering characters of my life
Flying up and down my halls of my sight
And now the tape is running faster
And now the world means less to me--
Objectively and subjectively.

Too fast, too fast
Operator's drool drips overhead
He wants to smash the silly toy
Sometimes Starr Mar 2023
The procession of the spectrum
Locks the stars up in heaven
And all the young music angels fly around the world.

I just moan.

She has to be higher than my desires,
He's set them loose
And they give a rough energy when I beseech their understanding.

Some things apply to everyone else,
And some things just apply to me.

The culprit emerges from the clay.
Though we all know it's no one's fault,
Someone has to die
Now we're all demons hiding in a rainbow

And if I pray you're the one who rides
You're abashed you don't know what to do with it
Cause you know somewhere deep inside you crossed the only line.

Or I don't want the gray,
How can these aspects form in infinite space?
There are multiple things going on here as we paddle towards death.

Don't become my desires,
Be my energy.
I worship myself I'm much cooler than anyone around here
But they all treat me like I'm insane
Or like I'm just another person,
But I know I deserve the same quality of praise you give yourself
Because you're always writing lies about things I can't accomplish
And that's not right, it doesn't even make sense!

I can accomplish everything in the entire universe
And I don't even have to try--
All I'd have to do is die.
Sometimes Starr Oct 2019
I am thinking
that i want out
Sometimes Starr Apr 2023
No, I will not accept
That I made some mistake
You contrived ******* wraith of the universe
Looking to usurp any chance you get.

No, I will not accept
That I am deserving of stigma
Your hellish spikes
Always trying to pierce my hide.

No, I will not accept
A world that foists blame upon me,
The one who toils in suffering to find
The death of infinity lies with him alone.

No, I will not accept.
Is this what I get?
Is this what can be afforded?

No, I will not accept.
For everything I must have gone through,
This is what I get?

You're shorting me
I see your glory
Always so far out of reach

You're shorting me
Of course I'd be
Right at home with jealousy

I want to see what we can be
If I'm alone
Just forking show me.

Just show me
Just show me
SHOW ME WHAT WE CAN BE!
Sometimes Starr Aug 2021
Persimmon & cinnamon
Vanilla and a clove
Secret love beneath the boughs
With nectar in your heart.

Stir into your morning tea
While standing on the ceiling
Then whisper something lovely--
A phrase that gives you feeling

Ginger sips with peppered lips
Don't run away forever, never
Finding any sustenance
Or clever like a ******.

No one saw you sip the tea--
Except that girl from college
No one sin is as immense
As love of carnal knowledge.
Sometimes Starr Oct 2017
This October is unseasonably warm.

I'm biking home from probably my twentieth job
Dressed up in yet another uniform
Arranging fruit, this one is easy.

Biking down the dark sidewalk,
I smell the rubber of a mask through my nostrils.

Fall out boy. Childhood.
I had an equal part in the garden.

It takes too long to explain why I'm here
And I only want to explain it from a weary ego.

But the universe ate out my insides, left just the mask
I let the universe take control of my body, let it do what it wants
The difference is subtle.

It seems to diminish my anxiety, at least for a little.

I might forget that tomorrow. Or maybe it could be a lasting change.
I don't know yet.

The universe ate me out inside, by forcing me to comply with America
By mistreating me as a child and a young man
And then telling me the offense I took was, in fact, stolen
It was just my ego. Move along. Stop complaining.
Or complain. But just know that won't get you anywhere.

The difference is subtle. It's not some dire matter. I let the universe carry my body, and my face is still. The emotions don't flicker and leak through my face so much. I'm suddenly fine with being Matt Shaw.

I just want to know where this goes.

My ego stops trying so hard. I might grow old and never get to be a rock star. I might die first. I can accept that. I'm already dead. What happens? I'm a social outcast.

My intelligence may have exploded in my brain. Maybe I WAS smarter than my circumstances, but the anxiety of not being understood drove me insane, and now I'm just not there.

Or maybe I'm just thinking too much, and the world will see one day what happened to me. I let the universe carry me.

You don't think I could write a good novel based on this poem, do you?

I bet you think I'm one of those sadsacks who just keeps complaining and blaming their circumstances, I bet you this and I bet you that. Because you do, you **** like that. Stop it right now.

There is a lot I can do. Watch me do it, you petty *******. I hate it when you judge me like that. Yes, I'm nervous right now. They are trying to control me. They don't understand. Watch, I'll get there. I'm still young. I hate you.
Sometimes Starr Jan 2018
Dedication takes time to get right,
I sharpened my sword on your whetstone by night.
Sometimes we're unevenly matched
And we both know, I was more like your apprentice in love.

So I had to let you go.

Secrecy and death do lie,
Mystical omission alway hides.
I will love myself with gritted teeth
Lessons learned and incomplete
Elegizing trails in the sky.
Sometimes Starr Dec 2018
Pieces of you
Floating on by the window
Carried off by a stranger
Alien thanks and abuse
Pieces of you

Pieces of you
Casting leaves to the sunlight
Making love by the moon
Steeping blood in your tissues
Pieces of you

And stripped away you are nothing
Cause everything was a stranger
What's the use of a science
What's the point of a person

Pieces of you
Broken off, they were scattered
Someone said it was clean
But clean
Is just an organism in your mind.

Pieces of you
They're refined by miracles
Those golden notes of perfect melody
Somewhere inside

And at its center was nothing
Maybe God is a stranger
Where's the love of the artist?
O, the point of a person!
i see a rock
i see a rock
i see a rock
i see a rock
i see a rock
i see a rock
yes, but the land is different here

and it melted his heart,
from the day he began noticing

he became a detective of the earth
his passion for deducing
those deeper truths.

when he transcended the utilitarian,
he stumbled unintentionally on fortuitous prospects.

he sees through time
in the layers of the earth
and has become his own reason
for examination!

let's all celebrate the geologist
this time it was a man geologist and the earth as female,
but it could be any way you please :)

for Myron Cook, a Youtuber I've been following recently!
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