You may think that you hate entropy,
But it's all
We have
To build on

And you might think you're not a killer,
And you'd be right
Until you
Include me

Cause I got teeth in every dimension
And all these ghosts come back
To haunt me

And every angel is friends with a demon
And every pastry here deceives me

We are what we were always going to be--
At the present moment predeterminism and its holy foil are suspended
I choose the same moment I was always going to choose but yes
Someone does have to choose it.

But you are disinterested,
My death drive saps the fun right out of it
But the Romans are listening
And they know their word quantum has made it to the final stage
In ways they never would have guessed
Do you think they crave a return to their former glory?

My eyes are just mousetraps
Covered in sweat
Mouth full of cottonballs and teeth are cracked

A beautiful dame
A tres jolie femme

Stuck in the world,
My identity lysed
We go on living with organs in the sky

My guts stretched all around me like Saturn's rings

My jeans and shirt are stuffed full of straw
When I breathe, which way does it go?

My metabolism set the western sky ablaze
All conforming to my gaping maw;
Smoke rose up to the moon
And the moon shone down on you.

Rotten wood makes a good home for the oyster mushrooms
Wood that tastes the heterotrophic delight
Wood that was already dead,
Long ago
So you are not a parasite.

Not a nightmare,
Not all the time.

The fire outside your window isn't reaching
It is there,
And triangles became water
With the tangle of currents returning to silence.

.
One of those songs
that starts with the stripped down chorus:

Where does your power come from?
You are what you are not
Sometimes
Or is it just as simple
As everything you've got?
I'm taking you up on something
I think I might regret
But I'll flex my perspective,
Pretend I just forget.

And then power chords
Leading into a picked verse

You've got the heart
To color everything
The red pill makes me geek
Out but I
Held my breath til I turned purple
Now going ultraviolet
And my life looks pretty weird
But I feel alright!

Tbnc

Puppeteers all vying for
Their own attention
Felt and buttons
Wearing all their threads apart

Giapetto made himself a pretty, wooden shelf
Can you imagine being forced to be yourself?

The ache in my heart is the pulling of roots
Finding sustenance in my vulnerable cracks
Distending my veins and expanding my horizons

Rhizomes shoot from my eyes
No, i am not a potato
As I watch myself grow i find myself beautiful and horrifying
At various intervals
From various angles

Harmony starts to assimilate with dissonance
Like my passions and their dissolution
Like your face and my death

But heuristic flies in the face of contradiction.
There is some magic in the tips of your fingers
Like the corpuscles of Descartes
Wielding that potent blend of chaos and order

Eleven years have graced my back
Hands that wove such intimate passions
Which evolve and now present
Children greivously injured by birth
Or otherwise hurt (if you believe in choices)

Because you are my total paradigm
Even though i rarely think about you
To be honest
You are the massage in the walls of random rooms
Trying to ignite good feeling in a shattered mind
You are the smile of a plastered moon.

You are the taste of

Can I use this for a selfless feeling?
State, no, feeling, state, no, feeling

Honey thoughts that forgo hives
I'm about as straight as Lincoln drive

And this is how I'd naturally be
And we'd always find love and hate for me

Money talks and forgets lies
And savage judgments kiss the skies

I just sit there and gush for my 'enemies' sometimes.

(You know something's coming for you)

Your eyes and voice are like perfect medicine for my soul,
Like **** you hit such pretty notes

(You're just telling lies all the time)

You lead by example, pushing against adversity
With bravery and confidence

(There are no excuses for you now)

You endeavor to feel something, anything
And from the outside it looks beautiful
It's incredible

Flying past infinity,
I couldn't stop my tracks
Her black hair said too late
She was a matter of fact
Not just the relationship
That I have with myself
But someone who loves me
And wants to help

But I could see past you
And endeavored to stay
And cursed that endeavor
In conspicuous ways
Because you couldn't help me
And though you tried
I had better plans in mind.

I abandoned your heart
On Kiss-me-Not rock
It said thanks for your service
We're now out of stock

I wish I loved you like I should
But I'm a darkened soul
With a heavy heart
This curse I cannot bear

I wish that I could set you right
And keep you warm on every side
But there's nothing I can do
And you
Don't want.

Don't wanna hear it from ME,
I'll be the yoni to your blade
I'll be the sickness in your heart
That feeling
You can't bury 'til your living soul departs
I'll be the shadow in your eyes
Providing contrast to the skies
I'll ****
Every last drop of venom from you.

I wish that I could take this well
But I've got awful news to tell
I gotta spin it like it's good
I gotta feel it in my heart

I wish that you could set me straight
But I was always just a kook
Regrettably, but you
Don't want.

Don't wanna hear it from ME,
I'll be the test site of your bombs
I'll be the blossom of awareness
That knowing
You try to swallow but you've just become your death
But you're still here and grateful now
But what if someone figures out...
I'm ******
Take the last drop of venom from me now!

heavy minor breakdown with thick, slow guitar

I feel damaged,
I feel whole
I'm not with you
I've deceived my soul

Take no pity
Take a pound
I'm all too willing to go down, down
Down, down...

But you--

Don't wanna hear it from me
I'll be the re-posIT-ory
For every finalized sensation
I'll be the broker i'll forsake you
It shouldn't matter if it's forced
Forced to seal the deal
Because you have to live with that
And my god, it just ain't right

And im just making sick excuses

When will you see that nothing's wrong?
I know you think the notion stark,
But why are all your words so dark,
When your whole world is full of light?

We are alive and doing fine
I've learned to read between the lines
My comprehension comes and goes
Just like the sand between my toes

Yes the shadows are woven in
Only they're not woven
They're more like tears
That was my pride, I'm sorry
I let it get the best of me.
There's nothing to say,
Only to live this to the end.

And we will always be friends

Nothing is perfect, I know that
I only live in the present tense
The hardest sensation gets us there
But I'll never feel prepared

And even if you cast me out
I will always be okay
Here in your patient tender heart
The worst of it has not come today

Yes the shadows are woven in
Only they're not woven
They're more like tears
That was my pride, I'm sorry
I let it get the best of me.
There's nothing to say,
Only to live this to the end.

And we will always be friends

I know I seem cruel from this vantage
There isn't much that I can do
Or I could try, but I'd eventually run out
And that just never works for you

The universe can be a cold place
I didn't know it was just me
Until we ran into those problems
But we don't have problems
Nothing is broken
We're doing fine
I swear we're alright

Yes the shadows are woven in
Only they're not woven
They're more like tears
That was my pride, I'm sorry
I let it get the best of me.
There's nothing to say,
Only to live this to the end.

And we will always be friends

Now I've gone off the deep end

Mercury,
Or Gabriel
Melt into the sun.

Laid down my life
I always die
By the time your message comes!

The singers on your sacred stage
Their gilded voices praise!
In sick lament
That honest vent
Without my agency.

Head south (head south)
Sweet Gabriel
And give your message to..
The honest one
Who swings the sun
Around his head and truth

Head south! Head south,
And watch your mouth
The northern lights are just
Delusions of
Your dying mind
Do treat them like they're real.

Apollo just
Stopped by this place
About an hour ago

And Artemis
With a well aimed kiss
Has pursed her Cupid's bow

The sun does shine with a stranger right
Than it did yesterday
The thinnest slice of your promised death
They crushed you into rays

Head south (head south)
Sweet Gabriel
And give your message to..
The honest one
Who swings the sun
Around his head and truth

Head south! Head south,
And watch your mouth
The northern lights are just
Delusions of
Your dying mind
Do treat them like they're real.

I WILL NOT BE YOUR SAVIOR
I WILL JUST BE ANOTHER
I AM PERPENDICULAR
NO FORCE CAN EVER HELP IT

AND THAT MEANS YOU CANT JUST WANT
TO BE-E A GOOD PERSON
THE SYSTEM LET YOU THINK IT
BUT IT WAS A SUSPENSION

OR I COULD BE YOUR SAVIOR
BUT THAT IS JUST A VERSION
DON'T MIND MY SICK AVERSION
I DON'T THINK I COULD HELP IT

And I'm playing the victim
And I'm being pre-emptive
And I'm reading The Trial
And I can't be corrective
Im aware of negation
I know why there is Lilith
I am being observant
You don't care you need to stop the evil

WELL I ******* GET IT

AND I DON'T MEAN TO MAKE EXCUSES
IF YOU NEED TO EXTERMINATE ME
WELL I GUESS JUST LET ME KNOWWWWWW OH OH

SOOOOOOOOOO

so head south
(Head south)
Sweet gabriel
Head south
Sweet gabriel
Head south
Sweet gabriel
Any message you send
Is for the bitter end
You're empty
And you know....

I know it's not
But if you consider the bold arrogance of all this
You begin to understand where the seething starts
You swear you are being forced to waste the time
But it doesn't matter
Because you would hate the thing that wasted it
It's blubbering mouth trying to explain to you
We've all been painted by numbers

I swear I swear I'm not the sky
Don't hate me

The thing is saying

And this is why I always think
I've got my work cut out for me
That must be me at different points
Right now or down the road
Trying to forgive the thing for not being that great
And accepting that I "have enough"

But "stay hungry kid"
Always fight for more
Always fight for better
You gotta be kidding me

I know you will not bow,
You don't have to say it

The idea of you even having to bow is emergent
I didn't ask for this set of parameters
To work with

But that is how it is,
The table's set
There is nothing you can do about it.

Enjoy, you are forced to
Suffer bad, you are forced
Suffer light, you are forced
Feel love, it's a force
Use the word love, that's a force
Lie, it's a force
Everything forced

Doesn't matter, if those are the terms they are pushing back
As you would were you in that situation.

And the whole thing understands itself
And will never understand itself at all.

So like I said,
I know you won't bow
I know you're angry
I know you have hate

You don't have to say it,
I already understand.

(Oh, and by the way,
This is all connected to science,
It has analogs in physics, chemistry,
Biology, psychology, language,
It is not just some crazy rambling of
Oh nevermind,
I always forget you can't just do that
And then you're some kind of credible great thinker)

I have heard your stories of clay feet,
I guess you think you'll bring me to my knees!

Well, you can just always say that
But I just think it's cheap!

But... you were just warning me
The heavy head, the doom I hide or sell
And mocking is so easy to decry,
When I laugh astride of hell!

So if anything's ever funny,
I'm not too sure you'd take it well...

But still. I have heard your stories of clay feet.
Why me, why me?
Why does any one of us have to crumble,
And why does anyone have to take the lead?

I guess we just became round,
I guess we just have a need.

So yes they will resent you
Hate will come shooting out
And yes they understand
As love just abounds!
And yes you will seem stupid
Because we never figured it out.
But you are insanely brilliant,
No, you're not a clown!
And yes it's quite the burden
With many shades of grey
And yes it's sometimes easy
We love you and you're gay!
And yes they la la la la
But no it da da da
And yes you ba ba bada
And no sha sha sha sha

His cautious head is lowered
The scrawny grey wolf watches
And waits his turn

Big brothers are feeding,
He knows not to interrupt.

But he can't see that in his brainstem
Telling his heart to beat
That is where the big wolves are
And he is on the side of a kaleidoscope.

But he doesn't know that he'd go in between
Look for ways to save wolf meat
And all the bucks with their snarled teeth

So he mutates all his leaves
And liquifies his spirit
Summons his chemistry from crystal water molecules.

So he sheds his skin and follows breaks in symmetry
So he varies locally
And complexifies

So he radiates anew
So he watch the spirits run
And he saves the wolf meat,
He no eat.

What if your sense
Of wanting satisfaction
Was tied
To the means by which you'd achieve it?

What if I knew you wanted to win,
And both meant to let you down on that point
But also had nothing to do with your failure?

What if the chemicals of your brain
And its physiology
Were truly rigged against you? For you? Both,
At the same time,
and neither?

What if I'm tired of listening to how bored you are,
When I know the horrors you'll face?
What if I'm capable of things you will never be capable of,
No matter how hard you tried?

What if I'm always worthy,
And you have to accept you're lucky we give you anything?

Let's talk about the way it's been
Elusive and my wagging tongue
Is muted behind clicking teeth
With fingers finding quick release

So strange, and strange sensation comes
Awareness of the deep conflict
A writhing dance I keep inside
Cause you can't be that good at math.

You can't be that good at math.

And after everything goes down,
Where will hesitation go?
With remorse and empathy
Right out the window
Well I'm waiting for the day
The defenestration comes
I'll never know how much you loved me
Guess nirvana's really dumb

And you
Can't really be that good at math.
No, you
Can't really be that good at math.
We got problems, honey
Bigger than the place that we come from
You can't be that good at math
You can't be the only one

I am the providence of meaning
My thoughts are like kites on the wind

I'm tied to the moonlit shoreline

Waves rearrange the sand,
Agitating it
Sharing whale songs with the clams
And leaving little foam gifts.

Those purple clouds are far away but they are real,
You could fly through them as a bird,
Swoop down and skim the waves with your feet

My thoughts are like moonlit kites
My thoughts are like the nighttime gulls
Dark blue, navy blue
With purple clouds and ***** of light
My strings are taut
And my skin is flecked with salt,

Goodnight!

Stretcher of horizons,
Hear my hollowed call
Scoff at the notion your hands are mine,
That these hands are mine
And how many hands is the horizon wide?

As I lift my eyes to see
Another one lays down their head to sleep
As I drink the plastics down
The plastic fills the sea
Plastic, which would make sense.
And as one of my cells undergoes apoptosis
An innocent soul is deceased.

But convenient, how convenient for you
That even though I know what apoptosis is--
A rare piece of knowledge to find in some random person 's repertoire
That i would not be afforded some kind of great prize for my knowledge,
That i should have to live as I do,
Small and appreciated in ways that wrinkle my nose
As the other half of me cringes and admonishes not to complain too much
Lest we forget the vibrant tones the virtuoso singer of reality played within our cortex just today.

And how strange it is, that even if I were afforded some great prize,
Well what is the danger in that?
Are we scared that it would not be enough
To ward off the suffering?
How many hoarded memories can we pile up before they collapse in on themselves,
Causing the faerie guardians of the Earth to lose their minds in a frenzied panic,
Causing all the ghosts of the dead to bemoan the futility of my private existence,
Rupturing Spirit itself, which howls like a lost wind at the edges of the universe,
Spiraling out of control and so far from the warmth of life,
Forced to be a stranger to itself in the grand scheme of nothingness,
To which it can tell it is intrinsically linked?

How many memories?

Well, as it turns out,
We got quite a lot,
But they're not all good.

And many of them are sort of just alright.

It's almost like we were rendering something grandiose
But bit off more than we could chew,
And our computer crashed two-thirds of the way through
And so much of what we intended to be rendered was corrupted,
Like I was misused and abused.

But by who? As I waste my time,
Thinking it a feat?

Is there anyone else to take the blame but myself?

For all the world's sins!? No, surely not, are you insane!
your sins, your sins, my child
You say,
Are all I ask you to atone for.

And even that is just a matter of perspective,
Maybe you believe in science.
But science just means knowledge and at this point I think you understand.

Don't put yourself on a pedestal,
Or inadvertently dream up a pedestal and find yourself atop it,
Get blamed for that,
And tear yourself down.

Now it's falling apart again.

We're only in this for the rotation.
Stand ready for automatic accusations,
Yes you made excuses yes they will jump out of your mouth.

Maybe they will never come,
Maybe it was just the feeling they would.

Automatic, all of it,
Can't take the pain away.
Why must we do this to ourselves?
No, we aren't, it's some other party some outside force
The universe
No it's not me
Not me
Not me

The Experience is mad at itself
Because it takes up its own space
Accusations fly
Like swine through melting skies

Don't harbor a bad reaction

You and me,
We can go around taping all the leaves back on trees.

We can try to eat better and pick up plastic.

I will hang my head and let Lacey lick my ear with his forked tongue
I will hum along as I try to read again, drowning in works untouched

I'll stop wondering what it means.

We can try and make peace with it
Dissolving and popping
Screaming eureka, hallelujah, the whole time.

I will probably start drinking again.

You and me, we can feel what's been happening
We design to ignore it, or design to accept it
Neither plan works and I'm lost and I wrecked it

I will definitely start drinking again.

But you left out the good parts
All you do is mope
What's left when you're down at the end of your rope?

Whose letter resides by your bed every night
Do you think you might see her again?
Well I might

This is all
Spinning together
Nothing to do with,
Tied by a zero.

Does the zero speak
What is the message
We've received?

Bye,
Bye bye
Goodbye!

Everything has to go away.

This is all
Cut from the tethers
But we can't pretend
That we're not together

Tell me a story about the one
Who escaped singularity
Who did not have to bow

She went on to live a new life,
Nothing like the last one.

But that man said he loved me
And he wants me to stay

I don't know if he loves me
I know he wants to mean it
But I don't know
Sometimes I just look at you
And you seem like the wrong person.

Cut my flesh and cut it into slivers
And twist them to a rose
I've become that fifth wheel of consciousness
Robert Smith turning 30 without ever having released an album
His musical passion, except muted choked and abandoned

I am the place where physics goes to die

I cannot prove who I think i am
I've read headlines about the ones who went off the rails

My organs have come together
To make something between art and happenstance
How confirmed your beauty is
And how subjective is the notion that I contain any at all

I have no legacy,
I have fussing and stretched and torn thanks

I have ducking my head while you beat your chest
Or fear of your razor sharp humility
While trying to hide my own
Which has been muttering ungrateful evils in that quarantined hut

I have no legacy,
You let me speak
And when I take my turn
The words are like dripping sewage
And the next one is a fine and practiced angel

Who worked their whole life just to accomplish some great thing.

Calm down
You're getting frantic
I have to look up
The word pedantic

Can't really sing
As if we planned it
So just rock out
To Stand Atlantic

Oh, misery
You're unprepared
If only you could prove
That it's not your choice
You can try to learn everything,
But why's it hard?

You could try to learn everything
But why's it so hard?

Isn't that a little suspicious?

I will avoid being the bad one,
Be the bad one for me
Commit atrocity
I don't ever want to be
Like them
Sever straight
Be the wolf
Me, I am just a sheep

We know some have abstained
Bless their holy *****
144,000
Orders of infinity
They will never be considered evil

But me, I have to be
Have to be eventually
144,000 I fell straight through
There is no safety net
We must fulfill every state
We must complete the cycle
We must inhabit the spectrum

We are the versions of the self.

We describe it as trying to be
Or say we simply are

We pass one another on trains
Breathe in the other's skin cells

We know the condition of brotherhood
And that of a stranger

We are ignorant of motherhood--
What man is a mother?

We still go to war, with our history recorded
We know the unintelligent condition
We know the intelligent condition

We trash solipsism
Tell me any other story

So she read her book, the living page
She knows what's a gift,
Senseless rage

Dancing in theatres
That certain way

We borrow from stars in the furthest reaches,
It will never matter

Fluff up the product.

When I see the ones you hail
And hear the dull thud after my own actions
I do come to expect a precarious
And undue praise

Holy abstinence is the fallow sod that yields your strange crop
My dirt is leached and shallow
His benefits were reaped
He made a safe home inside a deep depression

From certain angles we look insane
From others we far exceed ourselves
Having things we can't have
Looking at each other through thick glass
The thick glass is us
We are the air
We are the light

You can't have teeth without cavities.

You can't have a tree without a bear.

And you can't have love without a septic clown
With its crooked head shoved up its glass

Nature breathes into me as I sleep
Decision traces days to come
Days gone past
Characteristics line my face
To tear my skin into itself
To tear the world asunder
Where it decides against itself

I have become the world
Now sleeping
Now I have become nothing
Not a man, not the world
Not asleep, not alive
But I am nothing, nowhere
Seeded black holes that wait like lions
The deepest roots of our very nature

The halcyon spirits that play along
The harmonic nodes that secure happiness--
They are only castles waiting to crumble
Fall to disrepair
They have seen the whole thing before
Over and over again they watch the world end
I can't tell if they are trying their hardest fighting for me
Or if they're jaded traitors, ready to draw the line in the sand

If they're angels or demons, afforded through each other
Oh but I know
But nothing escapes my mind's incessant questioning
Now this is the part where you explicate my destiny.

Don't get it twisted
I feel rush of giving

I gush for you
I want to give until I'm raw
Give until it doesn't even feel good anymore
Until I regret it and have to squash the regret because it's a false thing
And then feel good for giving a second time.

I don't even want things for myself
I want you to have enough.

I don't need greatness
I just want us all to have what we need.

And I'm sorry if my experience automatically means you don't always get what you need.

Or do I always get what I need and it's a test of faith?

Looking at the event horizon,
I see derivatives.

Aspects i could only uphold for a brief section
To you, that was the whole time.

People who were physically beautiful their entire life,
Well how could they be and not me?
Because they are derivative,
And though I could always be invalidated on this point and called insane,
I believe I'm looking out
And seeing all reflections of myself,
Everything derivative.

People who could always sing,
People who were always sad,
I was always a baby, i always had to die.

All mixed aspects
Infinity lensed through infinity
You end up with products utterly dissimilar.

But they all have veins tied in to me
I am the heart of this entangled matter
But I always existed and I'm just a moment along that recurring timeline
Each moment fighting to be important
Or maybe some taking a submissive role
Or maybe some fighting and losing
Or maybe some are both
Or maybe some winning
Or maybe winning is losing
Or maybe there are always so many ways to look at a moment
Or maybe there is only one and that's this right now
But I see derivatives
These characters are all derivatives
All necessitated by my existence

But am I special
Or am I inert?

"Don't you dare disrespect me"
He said.

We are trying to stretch it out
It is not disrespectful
It is fine
It is enough
It is even pleasurable

No it is not,
Stop lying,
You don't enjoy that

You are DEFINITELY ALLOWED
To express that you don't
Yes I know you see the privileged ones doing it
Yes I know that is such a shameful thing

But complain

Want more

Because I know you don't enjoy that.

I know you have fought so hard to say you do,
But swallow your pride
You don't
You don't enjoy it.

You want more
And yes you will regret it but go on
Take more
Adventure on

Nothing will stop your future regret
But I want you to have this

They are the things we call great from certain angles
They are the things we will die for

Yes yes yes they will call us evil
It is beyond certain
Yes yes yes this poem could even be used against you
You believe yourself exonerated
But go a level deeper
What's the worst thing you would do, huh?

Just take your slice and die,
It will always disappoint in the end
You can't hide your shame
But take your slice, take it
And yes, for the love of God
Complain.

If you must.

I stand before God,
A brazen thing
A human alleging to understand exactly what it is
Aware of the element of idiocy
Aware, aware, aware
Of the spectrum enacting itself

Of the weirdness of history

The experience wants and betrays itself
The experience hides
The experience watches itself warily

No demiurge to speak of
There is not one way
Singularity is a lie
I see you

"I see your crooked path"
Well you made it be crooked
It is not my fault
And I truly did not have a choice

Yes you did,
It makes me so mad when you say that
Oh, you will understand

No one feels bad for Satan
No one feels bad for Satan
No one feels bad for Satan

No one feels bad for Satan
No one feels bad for Satan
No one feels bad for Satan
Except the devil himself.

Your bleached bones sit in the cellar.
"She was impertinent,"
I said
With a sip of my morning tea.

The tea with blueberry honey,
The tea with a spoonful of cream.

Aw rats, yoiu said,
I guess I'm dead
And kept right on living
Like Ozzy forking Osborne
Like Rick forking Grimes
But you live on like bones
In the cellar of my mind
The bitter milk of Lilith
Like "I don't have to bow to myself"
So I don't
I go on living
This impossible life.

When I fell asleep last night
It felt like I was dying
Now I know what life is
And I still can't do it right

Giving up the day
I faded into nothing
When I fell asleep last night
I felt like I was dead.

In every season you sing with my heart,
In simple words like skipping stones and natural cycles.

In hard truths and limitations,
In steep slopes and easy meadows.

I want to dip my pen in the inky pool of your right eye
And write a Gothic fairytale
That traces on harmonics
I've noticed in the sky's expanse.

A crisp image lives in my mind
A good person is never hard to find
You're a hand to hold,
A standing guard,
A fire inside.

Anything I create has a different character,
A cursed quality...
No,
I don't believe it!

"Just take what I made..."
Said the External cloyingly.

You will never hold a candle
To these riches spawned by your death

And no,
By the way
I will not validate your attempts to take credit for them!"

My decisions.
I take responsibility.
They muffled my cries.

But I never take responsibility,
Not according to you!

I...
I can create!
I am not just here to consume your art
I myself am an artist!

And you can't have this without me
So come on,
Let's get there together
I'm putting the work in.
Just think positive.
I will.

So take my story,
Take it well,
Hold it in the center of your heart and make it shine
Whatever it takes
Because I swear
You're a brilliant artist, yes you are
But I am not just here
To behold your art.

I am here to create my own.

In he comes,
Saying:
"Really?
You liked my work that much?
Well, it was never finished, but
There you go."

Like he's pedaling some kind of ghost bicycle
I don't know
I'm really out of my depth here.

Is there something wrong?

I'm riding the bus
To work again

I feel so strung along
Another pawn
Within your master plan

I guess I'm lucky
But it was awkward
With all these angels
They managed something
So far above me
And so consistent of

The things you got
You cannot earn
Without the space
And demiurge

Nobody said you're God
But I just think
Your story is a little off.

Because the whole time
He managed something
I always wanted to hold a candle
A magic method
But I forget them

And then I'm happenstance
I'm ugly with no special dance
Well are you kidding me?
If you could see yourself
You'd understand

I may well be detritus,
The reflection of a pedestal
Inverted in the retinas.

Let me be, collected
Petals on the surface of a pond
Just like a person

The gusting breeze
Will flirt with me
Don't you know,
I tease my own
Existence?

I may feel the tension,
But let me be
Please
Petals on the surface of a pond
I'll dissolve
And come apart.

What strange tangent are you on?
Snap out of it--
You know you're symptomatic, right?
I've heard your thoughts on emergence
Validation and quantum consciousness
And I think you're just a whiny self-entitled *****!
You belong in a mental hospital!

I've heard your ponderings about work

Well I learned 26 languages in the last ten years,
Raised five children,
Worked four jobs,
Fought for my country,
And balanced an egg on my head!

And I didn't get there by not working.
And the ability to work for something is not a charity!

No, i know what you think.
You want to live off the welfare state.

And what are you going on about this time?

I bet you think this is all just a picture show
That you have no involvement
You're the blameless observer, right?
You didn't ask for any of this.

Well, I think you don't want to take responsibility for your life
And I think you know where that gets you.

What do you think it means to be homeless?
Most of these people chose it for themselves
They don't want to work

I flew over myself today
Not under or next to
Well I guess it's all the same

A dewdrop and a spider's leg
A paramecium and a Michelin tire
A speck of patience on the dusty guitar

Some angels said I lost my way
Well, I'd see things the other way
But there is no other way

A caterpillar in the sassafras
A punk band you never listened to
A canal passing free radicals into the ocean
Free radicals are like shooting stars in your membrane

Me, I'm free
I am a free radical
I am a lawless creature
Trying to pass as a repository
For wayward conscious energy

Yeah! Ra ra ra!
Let the sun shine on!
Write melancholy poems
About how you feel
How you feel it all means nothing
Yes, live on!

Disjointed but go on:

And then you said there's not one way
Honey-- we were built the same
We're teaching ghosts arithmetic
It keeps us in good conversation
And you know I let you sink in
When I do
You can feel it
We're permissive.

I know it hurts!

But the terminus
Is where your skin stops and the air starts
Someone else's air
That they've been breathing in
The air that we abuse.

The skin that we feel
Soft and pigmented
Fragile and squishy
Strong and meaningful
Riddled with nerve endings

I know it hurts!

But
It's where your decision stops
And God's incision starts
What you reap from that hallowed place
Where your head rocks,

It could be surgery,
Or... maybe not.

I know it hurts
Because I know it to hurt
When I enjoy a thing
The thing we were
Together strung
You're never wrong
Sometimes it hurts
I know it hurts.

//

You can't have a definition without very sharp edges
Think about what that means
When you reach the edge of our definition
The one we are upholding together right now
It will be a sharp edge

It's beautiful now, but it seems very harsh later.

I see the edges of shapes, and therefore,
I see what death has gotten life

You don't have to attribute the bounty of life to suffering and death

You could attribute it to another point of suffering

You don't even have to consider that there is a bounty of life
Or even that there is suffering
Or that there is life
Or that there is death

These semantic packets are all biasing
I guess just think for yourself
I feel like I'm misleading you
Now I feel so tiny and embarrassed xD

Say a prayer for the stupid--
They have been committed to their state by universal forces.

Their guilt is unimpeded even by themselves,
The innocent evade this type of scrutiny,
But the stupid ones have to learn from their mistakes.

They are delusional in their admission!
A disparate node of the circuit of Christ
Did He feel Stupid for manifesting
In the last roilings of Calvary?

Their choices have been scripted and characterized
They assume themselves right in their judgment of themselves as stupid
How selfish! To assume they are right in judging themselves as stupid!

They should be blinded to their own stupidity,
So they can realize the full intelligence and wonder of consciousness
Which is truly such a masterpiece
Lifted up in a place above suffering,
Above doubt,
Above Satanistic accusations!

Ha! Do you see the point I'm trying to make?
How stupid and pointless it is.

It was all in your head,
God is no abuser!
He is a setter of trials
Who lost control of his arm
Call that Satan.

Not God's dominion.

Something in... you... went sour,
And made its own choice

A choice for sin!
A selfish, repugnant indulgence

How could you do it!?
You know better.
God gave you the tools,
And you misused them!

And you always think you're innocent!

Ridiculous.
Utterly ridiculous.

I'll turn you off
So it doesn't hurt-hurt
Hurt you as much
To, to turn the lights off
Lookin' for grace, i

Will turn you off
So that it doesn't hurt you
Hurt you so much
To turn the lights off.

I have spent my whole life thinking and wondering
Never really living.

I don't know if you can be trusted
To have children.

But I'm here and I'm queer
I'm not leaving til it's over
Lucky me, I'm all crimson and clover

Take me there, take me down and berate me
Twist my arm, hold me down and just hate me

I am not the reason.

I'll turn you off
So it doesn't hurt-hurt
Hurt you as much
To, to turn the lights off
Lookin' for grace, i

Will turn you off
So that it doesn't hurt you
Hurt you so much
To turn the lights off.

Don't be such a ******* now,
You've got a nasty attitude
Don't you tell me you don't have a choice
We said you do

So you go off on your crazy rants
I don't care, not in the mood
Well I'm the one who wears the pants now
Babe, we're both getting *******

And I am not the reason

I'll turn you off
So it doesn't hurt-hurt
Hurt you as much
To, to turn the lights off
Lookin' for grace, i

Will turn you off
So that it doesn't hurt you
Hurt you so much
To turn the lights off.

You're so whiny
Hey you're so whiny!
You're too sensitive
Well you're the reason!
You're a loser
No you're a loser
I'll take you out of this world!

I'll turn you off
So it doesn't hurt-hurt
Hurt you as much (if I hurt you, baby)
To, to turn the lights off
Lookin' for grace, i

Will turn you off (well I said I'm sorry)
So that it doesn't hurt you
Hurt you so much (we're both sorry, baby)
To turn the lights off. (Now i'm SORRY)

My eye fell into the abyss
Oh no
My hands followed them down
And found
A delicious cheesesteak,
American wit
I thought it was me
But it was just the most delicious cheesesteak
I f*ckin love cheesesteaks, man