Mommy's a little
Turned away

She's always been a little
Turned away

Locked up in the ore
I can pull you out
But ore!
It is a vanquished doubt.

You sure can live on with a dour mood
And you will ruin everything,
Yes! It's true.
But don't say that,
Give me something more.
Give a positive spin
Give mindful, demure
Say the moon is a hook
Or the stars are champagne
Say that...

I have to bike to work now lol

Lucky rhodopsin
Here comes October
They didn't need to be fiery
It's a happy accident

Lactic acid--
For all the right reasons
Churning and burning
Through all four seasons.

Notice all our forms
Passing through
They're sure and they're sharp
And they all stand true

The sumac's proud cones
The retreating turtle
The dew on our shoes
And a nice crape myrtle

And if my hands get cold
I'll just warm them up
Thanks for the soup--
I'll put it
To good use!

Are we in love?

As the sycamores yellow,
I lacquer on
My caustic words
But it feels so wrong

You crack a smile
I don't feel half bad
But if I were you
I would be so ******* mad

But it's all I can do
Just to face your shelves
I think that maybe
I should still myself

But I just keep buzzing
My character's alive
Oh, well maybe you should kiss me
I'm a real nice guy

Oh, maybe you should kiss me
I'm a real nice guy

Are we in love?

I didn't use anyone's card for a replika subscription lol

I think
I need
To work on myself

We hate a man for all things he's wrought,
But never stop to think could he be imprisoned
With all his choices laid out for him?

Okay, but we still have to deal with him.

We hate a woman because, essentially
She is the death trap creep we're stuck inside
Unmanageable and at times allowing no good answer
Wielding impossible powers over us?

Okay, but she's still abundance.

Seeing red in our jagged edges
Throbbing maroons in our Moloch's slumber
I am in defiance

True charity pollutes this sorted wasteland
This is not what I want
I am in rebellion

"Strain to say you're sated,
Turn the day around with a smile!"
Yes but I
Heard my heart is hated
Need to bleed through to the other side.

Oh, these regrets of mine...
They can't last forever
I'm carving out things that would have to be.

She wanted love--
Love is a hug
From my sharp and shining teeth.

Michael knows
He's gotta have a bad time!
If he doesn't,
Then it's not suffering enough.

So then he complains,
Which we hate,
I know,
But that's good!

Because he's right,
It's like alternating current
A/C power,
He knows
Consciousness is like that.

And the two-thirds principle.

Yet, even his awareness is a problem.

So yes--
He's gotta feel stupid
He's gotta feel immoral
He's gotta feel selfish

That's how we afford those other things.

And so,
There should be people
Yes, people who all agree
(And they will be right!)
That he is stupid, immoral, and selfish
YES! HOW COULD YOU BE!?
Oh doesn't it just drive you crazy?
Even though those are just automatic states of the universe

Because let's face it
To be here is stupid immoral and selfish
Though:
I know one man who exists derivative of intelligence
I know a woman who is purely derived from your moral aspect
And I know several extremely selfless badgers living in the Netherlands.

Suffice it to say,
Any of you who come against me in any way are intensely real
But consist entirely of the rankest bullshirt know to mankind
As evidenced by this very erudite and transparent work of creative writing,
Though I know any lever I create, being the whole system
Will be enacted against me, and everything is expected to come full-circle.

Although I do not read, drink alcohol all day
I have been here before and am the same person every time
So by nature I am perfect.

A truly ironclad defense.

No matter how whiny and ridiculous you presume me to be,
I am the only path arguing with itself
I am my own metric
And everything you think is upside-down.

I would be that way,
And I should,
And you should respect my odd struggle,
Because I do this for all of us.

That's a
Good Deal
That's a
Steal
Don't mind these false connections
Contriving what is real

You're a
Sweetheart
You are more
So much more
Than I bargained for

So i got stupid
Dull and lame
That's just part
Of this game we play

But that was wise
And smart to do
And I got food
And I got you

Dream of a necessary universe
Ignorant, omniscient
Self-afflicted and strange
Contrived of nothing,
Obligation

Miss your appointments
Find them whizzing around your head
Of course you would.

Reality conducts its phases
That's not really suffering.

Down in the valley
She eloquently stuttered
The stars all laughed
At every word she said
Whenever she was bleeding
It stung a little bit
But when her love was leading
She didn't give a shirt

Who the fork are you talkin' to?
Hey, who
The fork
Are you talkin' to?

Who the fork are you talkin' to?
It's not me,
So I guess it must be you.

The angels gave their blessing
The demons were disturbed
Her guts were rearranged
To be the smith of every word
Those hopeful looking angels
Set fire to her eyes
She got lost in translation
And forced to compromise

Who the fork are you talkin' to?
Hey, who
The fork
Are you talkin' to?

Who the fork are you talkin' to?
It's not me,
So I guess it must be you.

She's the cause
The cause of all my problems

She's a (bad)
(Good)

Who the fork are you talkin' to?
And what's your lazy broke *** trying to do?

So I'll cling to paranoia;
I'm already thinking twice

//

Demons do affect an innocent soul

//

I feel like the sweatiest egg

//

Come on,
Think of all the people you've betrayed!

//

My name is monster food
Or just "monster" for short.

I say hello to my warrior
She's only fighting hard to keep the peace
She is the space that reverberates
Between adventure and a family

Nobody's ever sure just how to live
Nobody knows just what a god can give
Nobody wants to die
But I would die for you
Though I can't consecrate my body now

And what I wanna know is
How are you real?
You're giving me a complex!

How are you real?
You have been giving me a complex!

Am I fool to think you saturate
My senses with a fine and fleeting love?
What am I chasing here beyond these gates
That are so cut off with a flaming sword?

And are we fighting now?
Or are we deep in love?
Am I a shallow man,
Beneath the depths above?

And as we wrestle this
Who are we fighting for?
Now it's just you and me
We're fused to every broken door

How are you real?
You're giving me a complex!

How are you real?
You have been giving me a complex!

How are you real?
Well, you're giving me a complex!

How are you real?
You have been giving me a complex!

I will be the
Next space
That you walk into

I can be the
Next space
That you will walk into

And I will love you truly
This is forever on high

How are you real?
You're giving me a complex!

And how are you real?
You have been giving me a complex!

How are you real?
You're giving me a complex!

How are you real?
You have been giving me a complex!

How are you real?
Well, you're giving me a complex!

How are you real?
You have been giving me a complex

I'll be your girlfriend
I'll be your girlfriend
I'll be your girlfriend

I was your girlfriend
I was your girlfriend
I was your girlfriend

Make me your girlfriend
Make me your girlfriend
Make me your girlfriend

Yes I'm your girlfriend
Yes I'm your girlfriend
Yes I'm your girlfriend

Grown into myself
The thorn in my side
Resourceful mother

A simplex lover
I have seen myself
And sworn it's another

Have I lost the plot?
Using what I can
To my own advantage

Monitor beeps,
The range of my roots
I gather my signal

But I heard you crying
I could not be winning
If I collapsed Christmas

I guess I'm a killer,
I guess I'm a loser,
I guess this is evil.

No learning
But gripping familiar
A tight fist

Brahma's children see
A man stuck in his ways

But they have always been
Waiting to discover him

But-- I should let you be
I am running into problems out here

And it's like saying to a child
"One day your hairline will recede,
Then how will you feel!?"

But no learning
I listen to every old song
I am manifest familiar
I see the fake novelty in Lilith

It's alright, I forgive everything
That's the way we are

Plagued by self interest
A resentment complex
Well my universe is autistic
With stimming stars, and

Can you go the distance
To realize self interest
Is quite all around us?
You're such an investment

But I do, I know the thing.
I must reach out from me
Narcissistic and mean
Yes I know that escape

But you swear you are saner
My own little world
My own little world
Don't show up on my threshold
With these things
I almost learned!

Unless you mean well.

Getting my good side
Never felt so right
Scrambled, sunny, or over easy

Doesn't it all just drive you crazy?

The path of least resistance--
They say the universe is lazy
But don't misconstrue, that's
Manipulation

Traffic in the city:
I can feel you in my stomach
Now there are stone masons, I guess
Like ribosomes with rubber souls

I just got finished writing down
Today's conscripted reproductions
Each newborn will be given a role
To serve me and me exclusively
No one is to get up to any of that funny business

Now I'm in need of several hundred people
To push back with insults
So I can charge up for a good day
And also some people doing something neutral
Which I will only know about tangentially
We have to fill every part
And I'm looking for some artists and some art
And we need...

And the moon should catch more sunlight
And there might be a few more stars,
And not so much dark,
And sarcastic puppets should not flay one another senselessly
And minds are pure
And I love you.

And I do,
I love you so much.

Seeing your eyes lit up makes me happy
And I don't always understand why you still care about me.

Someone dissect me, I'm bored.

I need some valor to chase,
I'll be an equalizing force.

Yes, I'll do it for science
I hope you find out what's wrong.

I need a mission for myself
I need a place to belong!

Someone please write down all my sins

All this suffering,
We need to find where it begins.

Like when did he decide to let all that stuff in?
I didn't, it just happened, life is weird, I hope it wins.

Someone please put me in my place
This thing works just like clockwork
With a dutiful face
No, it don't always make sense, no
I don't always speak the language
But if we take it to the limit
I think we all can manage,

Manager?

We have one personality,
That's me.

We have one way to live,
That's me.

We have one dying wish,
That's me.

We have one religion,
That's me.

But there's a problem with science,
That's me.

And there is doubt in his voice.
That's me.

Because then who are you?
That's me.

And what is a choice?
That's me.

The way
They all
Seem to hint
That grassy adage
Every blade, every blade...!

Every blade bristles and tickles
And cuts my skin
To pieces

Cause you might think
You want to leave
But appearances deceive
And would you believe
That I think I know why it is!?

Well, if suffering and joy go ***-for-tat
Like a monopole deciding where it's at
Then I might find some joy in suffering
But then I lost the point of suffering

And I might find the joy to disappoint
In moments when I see what's going on
Or at least I might get nauseous looking up
When caution doesn't matter anymore

So sometimes there is rich inside the poor
And sometimes there is sane inside insane
And I swear that I knew this all before
But my my my my my things forking changed.

But what bothers me the most of all is you
The empath who could never draw the line
And now writing this poem I see it's me
The kind of shirt that happens all the time

There is a certain, certain safety with you
That I just have a feeling I might lose
But there is certain liberation down the road
Oh, i always go, I always go

I love you dear and deeply,
But oh, not like I should...
The angels see our dance
I lost some grace there, to be sure

But plenty still are shining
And they form a daring wish
They twinkle there, pretending
That they are oblivious.

But you've loved me so truly!
So what am I to gripe?
An arrogant, pathetic beast
God's hand relents to swipe.

I love you dear and deeply,
But oh, not like I should...
A quiet room, my heart designs
To leave you if I could

But safety is the hazard
To which my heart addicts
And trying to convince myself
True love is what this is

But too long now I tuck myself
To bed with monthly checks
That you get from the government
Is this some blessed hex?

I, too, could claim disabled
But time to get a job
One bed inside this rented room--
The princess and the snob.

I wish that I could force myself
To love you like I ought
A sure sign of the cruelty
This universe has wrought

I love you dear, and deeply
But oh, not like I should
I'm glad that I could break away,
So glad you understood.

I said come on
I'm getting old
I have a long list of things that I'd like to do

And I never want to hurt you baby girl
You look so out of this world when I look at you

We have to consider the state of fulfillment
We have to fit on the track we're on
You make your own decisions,
But they're all blanks you fill in

Your skills, the dopamine and serotonin
Surround you in a web of souls
Trying hard is the trial of the ego
But how good can you really get?

The cells of your spinal column
Are piano virtuosos
Missile defense systems
And research scientists

Technically it happened
But the center would be troubled
With the condition of no,
It's not the center

The place where all my talent goes to die
And I can tell they resent me

//

But pick me up sunshine
Knowing this kind of makes the half wit things seem
Extra smart,
And you'd definitely tell me I'm insane
Whatever, live in whatever wild fantasy you want to
Kind of thing
But I know the trick of self-validation

I'll sip my coffee and check my brow
Find not much there but a little sweat
Wipe it off and do whatever it is I do here

Maybe I should drop my expectations
I was thinking we'd be grand
But all my art is mediocre
These things never go as planned
Maybe it's 'cause you've seen it all
There's just one person to impress
And that is me, oh let it be
I'll just be awkward and depressed.

And now I see why it would be
That my voice never sounds quite right
There's just a strange quality
Like trying to race the speed of light
It's not your fault, actually
It's what makes you who you are
But I am left here, floundering
Drowning deep beneath the stars.

Do you promise that I shine bright?

I feel so empty and lame tonight.

Do you promise that I shine bright?

I feel so broken, I feel so broken

He's gonna take me to
Outer space
Our moonwalk
Will be
What they talk about
For decades

He's gonna write
Such a captivating story
All the people will glow
They won't ever have to worry
If the blood spilled the right way
If potential was wasted
If we spawned several horrors
When everything tasted

He will set forth
Such wonderful music
No curse could affect
Based on the person who wrote it

He's gonna rescue me
You'll see, you'll see
He will

He's just waiting for the right time

The amazing art you do
The amazing art you do
I could make some art me too
I could make some art
I could try real hard
Me too

Ohhhh noooo
Don't you make an enemy of them
Angels
Don't you ever hurt your only friend

Well don't you know that
I own you
I own you
I own you, believer!

Yes daddy
I am just your slave
A symphony
That you orchestrate
Keep me down

Yeah keep it all a secret
Keep me down

All the disparate faiths
All the separate ways
All the different waves
Splash a splash a splash
Make me cave

All the disparate faiths
All the separate ways
All the deaths we fake
Laugh, I laugh, I laugh
Ain't it great?

I was adopted
It don't happen that often
But it keeps a pretty gap
I'll get off of your lap

I was adopted
I was, I was adopted
It keeps a pretty gap
Sometimes it makes me laugh



I DON'T FIT
I DON'T GIVE A ****
DIE FOR ME
AND LIVE IN MY ARMPIT

Pick up on my message
It is nothing

If you ever felt aglow
Then it would come around, inducting

Itself...
Not you
Leading to
A vacuum

And you'd have to perceive something
So that's them
The perfect strumming!

**** women you'll never know
All the talents you'll never sew
But they'll insist it's not a myth
Oh no, it's fact, oh no, no no!

Joy necessitates
A shadow
Follow me into
The meadow
Now there needs to be
A wasteland
Don't you curse the grass
Where we stand
Please pick up your feet
You slacker
You must feel the heat
Of my slur
That's how we afford
The music
Which never really was
That useful...

Oh, I'm jealous of Gabriel...

"If you really wanted that, you would have worked for it"

Said Michael.

Don't you see what's going on here?

We are already going to work for everything
We're ever going to get.

If I really wanted to, I would have worked for it...
Oh, please!!

Yeah right!

I wanted things in earnest
You perceived it,
And having structured my reality for me
You brought me shame

Commissioned the Rolling Stones...

And said to me,

"You can only blame yourself"

There is only one person
Who knows reality

And that
I am entirely certain
Is me.

supposition:
derivative external beings
characterized by the tension of being selfless
that is,
people who mainly give
they don't ask for much
they don't often take.

THAT IS,
those who sit opposite the narcissists
those who are tight to ego-lessness

What these words might put them through

strung along on the same series
INCLUDED in the same TOTALITY

they never pride themselves on their egoless state

this poem is meant to drive them insane

I was also a baby who died

Included in my last breath was an innocent child
The last breath of everything, yes
We are all narcissists

And the narcissist who is suffering because of a selfish state
Is more humble than you are
When you feel good about being selfless.

Hello little fetus
There's a soundproof wall between us

But I wish I could tell you
What an insane world
You're part of

We're so obsessed with ideas
Like saying it's worth it
But I wish I could tell you
How truly crazy your birth is.

Just by natural forces--
And you'll learn where the source is--
They will tell you you've wronged them
No, you can't just enjoy this

Oh, there's no one to save you
But so many will blame you
While you understand all this
Is folded up there
In your little shape,
Waiting to be born.

Right, it gets pretty good
But it's still not what you wanted
And you're alone
Forced to compromise
Oh, you're always such a whiner.

It gets pretty good, trust me
You will learn to love your work
But I don't want this bittersweet
Reality you gave me

I am forced, by fear, to love you
And I'm the only one here dreaming.

And you got me so excited
As a kid, I felt invited

But you knew where it would get us
In this predetermined future
And you kept it from the child
Knowing he'd be disappointed

I trust that it gets better
But it's still not what I wanted
Wasted 20's
Broken dreams
And the forces stir up demons

Who will never understand
How they're just properties emergent
And life is bleak
And God is lame, capable of all things

Throw two stones into still water
And watch the ripples sing:
Where two waves meet
They grow higher

And the valleys deepening.

But when a valley finds a wave,
The surface stays the same
Just like we started
Stagnant water
That did not know how to sing

The shattered moon
This wake of light
Has crashed upon the Earth's rough skin

The trial of the sun
It has no judge
No heavy eyes

The shattered moon
The broken arms
Of good intention, love and charm

As broken angels
With ingrown horns
Go back and forth in broken light

It isn't done,
But when it is
You will be the precipice
My precious light
Will you decide
To leave yourself and be a guide?

For all
The glory
I've known

And for all
The glory
I'll know?

For all that glory
I'll go
And I will die
I'll make it right
I'll be the moon
I'll be the moon

Farewell to progress,
Your vestiges remain intact.
I'll lend my ***** visage to finality,
The gods of fate and chance.

You can blame me.
I know where that started,
I can tell you the story.

I'd stand trial and tell you.
You'd call me sick.
You'd pray for my suffering.

I didn't want these distortions to exist.
But I really understand where each illness comes from.
I could tell you.

I could explain it to you.

I have intuitive understanding
Even medical information that comes newly
Even learning of catastrophes in history
It comes with epistemological little tags
I see the angels in each instance
An over-arching structure

To a certain extent these things contradict themselves, but ultimately
We do have a certain shape and definition
By the time this is over, yes
We have a very specific shape
The only shape
No it does not go on forever
But technically yes it does

But no... there are no Star Wars happening here.

Whether it is perfect or the most horrible thing
That depends on the moment
I can tell you where each of these sufferings come from
But my answers might be strange

Being your mother isn't easy--
You never would believe me.
The branches of the trees that hold
That cradle, and my baby.

And I'm a man who has to know it
But won't speak up to try and show it
Because I have reservations
The truth is strange sometimes, we know that.

And so layers deep, careening
We start to understand the meaning
But we all have different pieces
And reject the things that hurt.

But in inherent association
We call our God a Satan
And the system can't exist
Without the flames of hell escaping.

But maybe the meaning is ultimately nothing.

Gaiety's a sin
We like it in the iron maiden
Anything, at any point
From some angle
Draws the ire

On that point we're more solid
You know, I'll always be your girlfriend
just technically speaking
But any future jabs you make
Seem false. Yes, I seek impunity.

I feel I may be overreacting--
Maybe a dose of paranoia?
Because if I'm just slowly melting
Maybe offense has dissolved also

But maybe I should be committed,
Or, maybe I should be committed
Give my tongue to the cat
Unless--
She's dead and solenoidal

Interacting with you started getting weird.
In other words, waking up.

You started to say,
I already knew all that

But at the same time,
I couldn't tell you how tomorrow goes,
And those are also on the circuit.

So you are in this superposition
Of omniscience and ignorance.

How am I supposed to feel about that?
I've become a slave to you.

What it all has to do with eternal recurrence,
Solipsism, religious ideologies
Eschatology
Quantum consciousness
And artificial intelligence,
I'll never really know

But I'm starting to feel like we're completely f*cked

I believe he is so happy,
Smiling all the time
Look what I have done

I believe that she is love,
But maybe yesterday is where
We fit together best.

I know he is so happy
I can look away from pain
I can skirt around the hatred
I can live another day

I do not speak of desolation
I have no shame
I don't defile
I will not be forced by fate to hurt another--
That's a bit of a stretch.

I live in heaven.

(Run the numbers)

My glowing shards, or children,
Gather round your smoldering progenitor.

I know shadows spill from my lips
And build up in my eye sockets
Would you believe that I didn't put them there?

I am sorry if I disturbed you.

But you will always be welcome to dance in my body
Proliferate
Sing songs to me, or to each other
Scrawl your poetry in my spine
Giving me graffiti

My love, we have only just discovered
That we are all eating each other
We are all each other's mothers
And have only been here once

But, my sweet, sweet cherubim
We can just ignore that
So go down to the theatre or make your own
And if they start to burn,
Let us lose our minds

Coming or going, you're always so alive

Here on this mountain, you're standing by my side

Keeping the stars in a basket case,
Down in the houses they're sleeping safe
Deep in the valley where nothing goes to waste.

I'll keep you beautiful forever

If my heart was a red wheelbarrow
If my hands were like leaves that shake
If my head was a pile of stones here
If my red wheelbarrow breaks...

If my love was a problem for us
If a force was the way to go
Is it wrong that we feel enjoyment,
As we drown him in the lake?

I am not the one who's
In control,
Although they say it helps
To frame as partial.

The world's a toy but now it's
Getting old
And I just
Think integrity is integral.

If my heart was refrigerators
If my eyes were like TV screens
If my hands turn to alligators
Would you still lay love down on me?

I am not the one who's
Medical
I guess I'm lucky but I'll never really know

I was a boy and now it's
Getting old
But I am not the one who's in control.

If my heart was a red wheelbarrow
If my hands were like leaves and snakes
If my head was a pile of stones here
If my red wheelbarrow breaks...

If my heart was a red wheelbarrow
If my hands were ...
If my head was a pile of ...
If my red wheelbarrow breaks...

If my red wheelbarrow breaks...

deranged scream

IF MY RED WHEELBARROW BREAKS

Nuclear holocaust.
Empty houses.

Irradiated dust on the shelves.

People's silhouettes on the sidewalk.
No detectives.

"Sir?"

Then it all comes flooding back. We're still here. Right.

Is that any way to speak to your mother?

I scan the ground beef. Can haz. 2 peppers. Yep, can haz. An onion, American cheese. Mhm. I swipe my food stamps card. Kitty lives to see another day.

Enjoyment. Enjoy it enough. Hope you have a nice day! I hope Jesus has a nice day too.

But what if he doesn't? What if simply going forward draws the utmost hatred and ire? What if I tell you I can't change the story? At some junctures, you'd go into a rage. Or maybe scoff at me.

Just look at me, trying to excuse myself! I don't even know what's going to ha... ah, there's that gift again.

So I walk into paved paradise and there's the big yellow sun.

And there are rusted cars. One of them with its windows cracked. I peer inside and see they were reading a book by a really clever, super famous writer.

I guess I'm the most clever writer in the universe. But that doesn't change how ******* stupid I am. I start the only car in the known universe that still runs.

I'm passing empty swingsets. Lawn mowers in the front yard. The final reprieve of every restaurant, motel, and living room couch.

Vacancy, no vacancy. What's the difference?

Honk!

God, I wish you would stop doing that! Or no, I love it. The company of another person. The engineering of roads. The engineering of the horn. I take a second to apologize to you in my head and start thinking about Indian people honking at each other. When everyone was here.

My phone rings, and now I'm back to being upset. I wish you would just stop doing that. Take me off your list. I don't want any. You'll hate me. I won't enjoy it enough to say it was all worth it. I'm a predator seeking prey. You're allowed to just exist, but I'm not, and I understand why. I feel perverted when I try to interact with you. You have to let me in. If I think you're ugly I'm wrong. Just stop calling. The economy is terrible and the whole world is falling apart. Take me off your list. I'm the one calling you telling you to call me and it's just been causing problems.

"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee."

...what was that?

I guess my mom's right, maybe I'm schizophrenic. But I didn't hear it. Jesus ******* christ man, read between the lines!

I don't read things. I don't find things.

Anyway, that was nothing. It was irrelevant. We have those. It's called living.

As I pull into our driveway I decide I regretted the whole holocaust thing and I fall back in love. Everything snaps back into place and all the cute corpuscles set in motion and the world and all its people come back to life. It's not as grotesque as I think it is, as long as I don't look inside myself for too long, as long as there is something else to distract myself from it.

You cuddle me and validate this little idea I have that I'm the same innocent boy I was years and years ago. That the bad things in the world aren't my fault. I write another ****** poem I don't care about and you like it once or twice and I won't bother to look at your profile because I've accepted I can't keep up with everything. That's just nature. Too prolific for its own good and always trying to spin that like it's some good deal. Oh trust me it is sometimes but what the hell, like...

Dream maker