end me.
me and my worthless life.
God.
Jesus.
Father.
Mother.
Brother.
Sister.
Friend.
do you exist?
assist me in my nonexistence.
end me.
me and my worthless life.

Breathing inspires thinking,
A breathless man is passionless,
Open up those eyes and look at fear,
For fear wants you to see,
That it's the only thing standing in your way.

Make your excuses,
But once you open your mouth,
You'll find you can yell so loud,
That maybe even space could hear you.

I don't mind if you're stuck in the room,
I was stuck there too and it's up to you,
To find a way out of it's damage,
Fear will crumble over you and,
ensnare you until you breathe again.

Find a way to breathe,
Find a way to breathe.

Below your eyelids is a color,
A color that inspires feeling,
And a feeling will sing something foreign yet inviting,
So take it out and crush them into your palms,
Live again,
Do it and breathe again.

Red under fabric,
Single creative head made to spin out,
Drugs are ineffective but so's my hand,
Torn fresh bodies ruin the carpet of your room,
How they got there is unquestionable,
I won't judge your darkest nights.

Flush down those thorns,
Watch me move,
Let me entrance you,
I'll keep you safe,
If things get, vicious,
I'll break those arms trying to hurt you.

There's enough but not enough,
Maroon puddles you jump into,
Get transported into a world,
You don't understand and you can't think,
The world will overcome everything you lost,
Your head, your chains, your trust.

Flush down those thorns,
Watch me move,
Let me entrance you,
I'll keep you safe,
If things get, vicious,
I'll break those arms trying to hurt you.

Borrow time and sink even further,
Death doesn’t want any more deals,
Masquerading around in my armour,
When I’m surrounded by friendly fish,
Am I sick for thinking that everything is going to hurt me?

Charcoal eels slip by my tongue,
And wrap it up so I can’t talk at all,
I’m ashamed of their selfish ways,
I’m not drowning anymore,
I’m just sinking into the waves.

White water still remains,
Even though I’m miles underneath,
I’m catching a cold but I don’t care,
Whether or not I’m alive I don’t care,
Curfew was at 9 but I don’t care,
But I really, really want to.

Here comes the great big shark,
He only ever eats off bits,
My mind getting smaller and smaller,
I can’t walk anymore,
I’m bleeding out once again,
I apologize, Mr. Shark, please leave me alone.
Please, leave me alone.
I’m not your enemy.

I know you don’t know,
Just how many times,
I have asked to die,
Well, I’m not special for it,
I know, I recite it for my ego.

Crippling self-awareness turns,
Folds over, crushes my free will,
What I want could get me killed.

Should I be pulled apart by machinery?
Painful until the untimely fade of the mind?
Or should I find my deathbed at the end,
Lay down and hold a couple hands as I cry.
How pathetic I could be?
How tragic could I be?

Crippling fear of the end turns,
Folds over, crushes my free will,
What I want could get me…****.

I’M GONNA ******* DIE ?

ONE DAY             OH ****             ONE DAY

ONE DAY.

I’LL KEEL OVER AND DIE,
STOP IT BEFORE IT HAPPENS,
TIME TRAVEL, DESTROY TIMELINES.

ONE DAY             OH ****             ONE DAY

ONE DAY.

I’LL MEET A TENDER,
MAYBE WRATHFUL DEITY.

WORSE YET,
BE CURSED INTO NOTHINGNESS.

Crippling fear of every step I take,
Like a child learning how to walk,
I’ll fold over, crush my own free will,
What I want will get me killed.

I'm fighting,
Fighting for something,
Underneath a black moon,
Uneventful and lost.
I scream.
For a name, a face to hold myself by.
But my arms resist,
falling to the floor.
Unsuccessful scars,
reminders of what I never wanted to do, to be.
I fight for something,
something I can stand upon,
and say, "I don't care if you don't show yourself to me."
I scream.
Inside my head,
I'm dead, ripping myself apart.
My heart only beats for the dreams that I made.
I scream,
"**** you."
"**** me."
"**** life."

Waves of memories inside my palm,
You were a friend but I wanted more,
Turned out you did as well,
Wheels turn inside my head,
Water keeps my lips from drying up,
I wish that you had told me sooner.

You were scared so I understand,
You're not perfect and neither am I,
So rest against the shore, I forgive you,
You were good to me always,
She held the water above your head,
Never let you leave, silently.

We both fell so far those months,
The tide kept coming up,
Keep us below the water and we'll drown,
I am so proud of you,
You made it through the pain,
Got the water above your head and ran away.

Of course, I forgive you,
Let's catch up and go to the beach,
Summer's been great how about you?
I hope we see each other again,
I hope we see each other again.

All the thoughts that I hate
And wish to exterminate

Mr. Lake

All the razors that I've flushed
and wish to forget

Mr. Lake

All the memories that I left in the rain
and wish to purge

Mr. Lake

Don't forget that he is alive
He will flood my membrane
fill it with something that I crave

Mr. Lake

Eyes of the cat and teeth of a lion
He'll befriend me
Contending all the secrets
That's him, yes it is

Mr. Lake

I am more,
More than anything,
More than a being,
What am I seeing,
What am I needing?

I am at my core,
Shop at my store,
**** on the floor,
Tear off the door,
Its okay, that's what I'm here for.

I'm feeling greedy,
So utterly needy,
Baby let's sign this treaty,
Colonize me completely,
Heart on the floor with diabetes.

I am at my core,
Shop at my store,
**** on the floor,
Tear off the door,
Its okay, that's what I'm here for.

Once a day I'll please you,
If I'm no good, stage a coup,
I'll be the king you overthrew,
And I will grovel at your shoes,
Eye to eye with the real you.

I am at my core,
Shop at my store,
**** on the floor,
Tear off the door,
Its okay, that's what I'm here for.

See how I take and take and take,
Watch yourself begin to deteriorate, ate, ate
Begin to break down and hate, hate, hate
Everything that you ever make, make, make.

Come on down, hear me out,
It’s a good day if you’re not around,
I’m not heaven bound, never to be found,
So come on down and break the whole town.

See how I take and take and take,
Watch yourself begin to deteriorate, ate, ate
Begin to break down and hate, hate, hate
Everything that you ever make, make, make.

So blame, blame, blame me,
For who you've become,
Instead of where you're from,
And what you have done,
So blame, blame, blame me.
For who you've become,
Instead of where you're from,
And what you have done.

I've been denying,
but the fears are multiplying.
Picking at my brain,
and maiming my interests.
all I can think about is the way you smile,
and the way you talk to me.
I fee like a fool for falling into your soul,
cause I'd never be good enough for you.

You're the queen and I'm the jester.
You're no saint but you have me caught in your halo,
So won't you let me into your heart.

The feeling I've held onto,
but locked away inside my heart.
Tearing me up cause I know,
How you really feel about me.
This hope that I hold onto,
Stored inside my lungs so I won't scream.

Can't you see what I see,
You are lovely,
It's framed in my head, undoubtedly.

You light up the darkest nights,
No matter what you say,
No matter how much my edges fray.

Can't you see what I see,
You are lovely,
It's framed in my head, undoubtedly.

Your hands are wrapped in roses,
Warming up the coldest of noses,
No matter how much you oppose it.

Can't you see what I see,
You are lovely,
It's framed in my head, undoubtedly.
Why won't you believe me?

Why won't you believe me?

Eventually.

I won’t be here anymore.

Popcorn ceilings.
Hidden drawings,
Olive green top wall,
Maroon red half wall,
Shelf running the room,
Knick-knacks fit perfect.

I won't be here anymore.

Eventually.

I will forget it all forevermore.

Big window,
Glow in the dark stars,
Spell her old ownership,
Called it a tomb,
Called it a home,
Out of hopelessness,
Into the next chapter.

Eventually.

I won't be here anymore.

And eventually I will forget it all.

Forevermore.

I fight for my life,
Every night.
I'll never tell my friends,
Of what I did last night.
The creatures on my crumbling frame,
Tell me that I made it again.

But I don't know whether,
to smile or cry.
Cause the battle rages on,
Every night.
I'm parting my skin,
To see what I can find.
Maybe I will see,
An ounce of light.

I fight for my life,
Every night.
The echos of my friends,
Who've told me they were there for me.
I'm losing my vision,
As of today.
The sun rose but my heart,
Doesn't want to beat.

My intention,
has been shackled.
And the demons,
They like to scream.
That I am better off dead,
Every night.
So I take my time,
Send a prayer to someone I don't believe in.
So I take my time,
Process my suicidal thoughts.
So I take my time,
To fall asleep.

W h e r e  a r e  y o u  n o w ?

W h e r e  a r e  y o u  n o w ?

W h e r e  a r e  y o u  n o w ?

I ponder death and life

What it could be

Then what it will never be

I guess it's up to you

Is it up to you?

Am I tied to a fate that I might end so abruptly.

W h e r e  a r e  y o u  n o w ?

W h e r e  a r e  y o u  n o w ?

W h e r e  a r e  y o u  n o w ?

Gun to the sky

Shot three times

One for the son

One for the father

And one for the holy spirit

I'm tired of you

Tired of waiting,

So tired of waiting.

W h e r e  a r e  y o u  n o w ?

W h e r e  a r e  y o u  n o w ?

W h e r e  a r e  y o u  n o w ?

Hold your reservations,
For just a while longer,
I know you see I'm crumbling,
And you know there's nothing you can do,
Just hold on a little longer.

I'm slowly seeing colors,
Getting some more sober,
Will it finally be over,
Once I find my home and hunker?

Creeping up behind me,
Holding it over my head,
What else should it possibly be?
Where could have I been lead?
If not for the searing fire under my skin?

I'm slowly seeing colors,
Getting less and less sober,
Will it finally be over,
Once I find my home and hunker?

If I'm wild, If I'm uncontrollable,
Then I'm untouchable,
Don't you ******* touch me,
You sickly mangy hog,
I am nothing but god,
No I swear, I'm above it all,
I am, I promise, I beg,
Stop prying, stop vying,
I'm lost, I am, I beg,
Please call for the cops,
They'll shoot me,
Shoot me dead before you enter.

I'm slowly losing visibility,
Getting much less sober,
It'll never be over,
I'll never find a home outside my pretty head.

Hold your reservations,
For just a while longer,
I know you see I'm crumbling,
And you know there's nothing you can do,
Just hold on a little longer,
I'm finding ways to crack walls,
Taking chisels and hammers,
Please, hold on somewhat longer.

Pockmarked arms,
Sound off alarms,
Stargazing farms,
Dependent on charms.

Unrealized power,
Atomic shower,
The flavor's sour,
Everybody had better cower!

I dont give a ****,
By stupid, you've been struck,
As you run amok,
Running over kids with your truck.

Unrealized power,
Atomic shower,
The flavor's sour,
Everybody duck and cower!

Planted marigold at the doorstep,
There's blood left in your stead,
It's all you've ever been fed,
I think you're out of your depth.

Hats off,
Heads down,
Gather round,
Pray for the sound,
Pray for the sound,
Pray we'll all be found.