I know I've never said hello,
I know I've never greeted you,
The way they wanted me to,
I hope you understand,
All the lies and deceit that I've felt in my bones,
Draws me back.

But I hope you understand,
That I need to be saved,
I need your embrace,
When I can't see your light,
What do you expect?

I know I've never prayed to you,
I know I've never served your grace,
the way they wanted me to,
I hope you won't cast me down,
All the sins and anger that I have seen,
Draws me back.

Give me something to see, to touch.
Otherwise, I'll be on my way, alone.
I care for what you say,
But I,
Can't see your mind.

Under the moon and stars,
Their shadows draw moving picture photographs across my chest,
Opening it up to let me play a song for you,
How is it that the sunrises have turned so colorful,
And how is it that your eyes change every time I fall deeper.

If a wolf runs along the tracks,
Spectating me from the other side,
As it watches me place my brain,
Inside of your fridge as well,
Does it wonder what you are like.

There's a place in the stars,
Where I can find a new galaxy,
It calls me to trust you,
So my hands start bleeding ink,
In my mind I'm beside your drawn lines,
And I'm chasing that feeling down.

If a wolf runs along the tracks,
Spectating me from the other side,
As it watches me place my brain,
Inside of your fridge as well,
Does it wonder what you are like.

What do they make of me?
Am I a mistake or a prodigy?
It's really not too hard to see,
I’m just a liability.

Pulling at my skin,
Pulling out the pin,
Loving my sin,
Loving to win.

I don’t crave all-American stability,
It depends on our bodies usability,
To keep the systems invincibility,
For the rich to retain their nobility.

There's Iron in this water,
Falling through my throat,
Spilling on my chest,
Someone convince me,
That I'm enough.

Silly little daydreams,
Give me all this hope,
When I don't know,
Where I'm going to turn.

There's marker on my arm,
Faded off of my skin,
Staining at the last layer,
Someone convince me,
That dying's not next.

Silly little daydreams,
Give me all this hope,
When I don't know,
Where I'm going to turn.

How many times do I have to die,
To feel like I fit inside my skin?
The times tend to fly on by,
Over years and years,
Along with symphonies of unfamiliar faces,
They pass by my ink-stained hands.

Forgive me if I don't remember you,
It's been so long and those years that I met you,
My eyes where blinded by the rage and fear,
Something everyone knows of once in their life.

I had fallen further than ever before,
No amount of hope could've brought me home,
Do you see the burn marks,
On my red-singed clothes?

A new perspective and I love it here,
People remember me somehow and I need to say hello,
The road doesn't seem as cracked as before,
Ripped up the dead body and said goodbye to toxic memories,
You inspire me to keep on living.

Forgive me if I don't remember you,
It's been so long and those years that I met you,
My eyes where blinded by the rage and fear,
Something everyone knows of once in their life.

Is that what you think of me?
The way you grab my hand?
Are you giving me a place to go?
Like maybe your pocketed heart?

Yet in that very moment,
The kaleidoscope begins it's turn,
As the walls turn to stone,
so I'm left all alone.

You hold his hand and breath his ash,
But he's not looking into your eyes,
He's not giving you his heart but docking it away,
Why can't you see?
There's lack of love and a spoonful of lust.

I won't get in between this love-hate war,
You killed yourself to wear the skin,
And underneath all the grime and tides,
I think you are lovely,
He thinks you've got a good body.

I think you are gorgeous,
He thinks you are dangerous.

I think you are lovely,
He's thinking, "Hope we do this roughly."

Is that what you think of me?
The way you grab my hand?
Are you giving me a place to go?
Like maybe your pocketed heart?

If I'm to be honest,
I'm starting to trust you,
And with trust comes a feeling I enjoy,
It's your companionship that I long for,
Nothing more.
But could you forgive me if I brought home a stray dog?
Would you forgive me if I stripped my bones of meat?

And the morning welcomes new thoughts,
While the night ushers them out the door,
Because without the sun,
I'm just me. Just a son.
Not a mask,
Not a man.
Just a son.
Hoping to meet you tomorrow.

I'll take it to the sea,
The reality of myself,
And could you please listen to me,
I need to know If you're alright,
Nothing less,
But could you forgive me if I brought home a black cat,
Would you forgive me if I stripped my bones of marrow?

F a l l i n g —

I n  a n d  o u t —

O n e  d a y —

L o v e  s e e m s  s o  f a r—

A n o t h e r  d a y—

A l l  I  n e e d  i s  y o u—

I got to bring myself back down to earth,
Remind myself that we're all just made of stars and dreams,
No matter how bad the man, they were once a little sun with lots of love,
Maybe that'll get me killed one day but at this point does it really matter?
Shooting stars fly past my head and I'm once again reminded that I feel pain.

Spread my ashes across the universe,
Grip a lonely comet and drift across the cosmos,
You are worth it if you live in this atmosphere,
Stay here, with me and whisper secrets into my ear,
I promise I won't tell.

Time always slows down when we're young,
It feels like you'll never get out of it, but once you're out you wish you could go back,
Back to imagining you're an astronaut,
Safe inside a ship and headed on a one-way highway to all your tender dreams,
Now we're just drifting off and admiring the passing rockets,
Maybe one day we'll be inside of one of those too.

Spread my ashes across the universe,
Grip a lonely comet and drift across the cosmos,
You are worth it, darling, please don't leave.
I don't want to drift all alone.
Stay here, with me and let me whisper how much I love you into your ear.
I promise I won't tell.

Could I cry some more in a single day?
The adrenaline that rushes through me,
It's got me holding on so tight,
It's got me grinning to wide.

The yellow will wash over my skin,
Flash my fears away for a night,
Leave me high on my own joy,
You have my heart and my soul.

Hold my hand with me, let's scream some lyrics,
I wanna hold you high above me and show you the best of me,
I wanna show you where I've been since I've been gone,
Believe in me.

The yellow will wash over my skin,
Flash my fears away for a night,
Leave me high on my own joy,
You have my heart and my soul.

I knew it'd happen again,
It always happens and I can never stop it,
I tried over and over to sing myself away.
Never working, I'd just sleep in waking nightmares.
I knew it'd happen again,
The endless cycle of wanting to sleep again,
Upsetting my thinking process and my motivation,
To live and breath to continue to think.
It's back again.
I know it's back again to haunt my sleepless dreams.

Build me up from the bottom,
I was wholly rotten,
From the inside to out,
So blatantly incorrect.

                             "Just an unfortunate mistake."

Least I've got love,
Least I've got heart,
Least I've got a roof,
Least I've got food.

What if it's not enough?
Oh, I suppose it's not enough.

                             "Rotten monster
                                                         Selfish creature"

I wanna see the stars.
It's just so much to ask.

The world doesn't work well for me,
I work for the world but inefficiently.
Constantly crying and breaking down.

                              "Pitiful adult
                                                      Utter­ burden"

It goes on and on.
This intersectional conundrum.
It's me. I'm the problem.

I can see where I'm worth.
So It's not me that's a problem.

It's the world that has no step stool.
The people like me know what I mean.

Praying despite misbelieving.
Lord how could I work through this?

Might as well.
Or no.

What if it's not enough?
Oh, I suppose it's not enough.
Never enough.

Being myself hurts and I wish I could snap my fingers and make things disappear but,
My eyes are glued to the bottom of my chin,
I can't look away from the things on my chest,
And I can't get rid of the past,
This weight that rests on my throat and on my chest,
It holds me down as I cry out.

Hey friend, do you want to exchange?
I know you're feeling a little down about yourself as well,
I've got something you don't so why don't we make a deal?
We can curse whoever for making this mistake together.

When I'm at home and laying in bed,
My mind tends to make up scenarios,
Where my eyes are in my sockets and I can see the world in full color,
Only a little scruff showing itself on my chin,
Or maybe even being confident in the voice that I live with,
But I wake out of these visions and breath before I cry.

Hey friend, do you want to exchange?
I know you're feeling a little down about yourself as well,
I've got something you don't so why don't we make a deal?
We can curse the heavens for making this mistake together.

I hope you're doing okay,
I know it's been hard,
It's never easy for us,
but hey, why don't you stay and talk awhile?
Let's curse whatever made us this way even if we're talking to ourselves.
Even if we are talking to ourselves.

Everyone watches my mess,
Seeing as I continue to confess,
To the times that I committed crimes,
Crimes that hurt as I wrote these rhymes.

And so.
In a process of elimination,
From head to toes,
I found that my conscience was guilty,
A list is cannot write but only feel,
What if I said I wasn't sorry,
For once.

Everyone watches my mess,
Seeing as I continue to confess,
To the times that I committed crimes,
Crimes that hurt as I wrote these rhymes.

Sink your teeth into my shoulder,
I don't care if you are poison,
I need you more than anything,
You can **** me off,
Bury my heart in the middle of a crossroads.

Hand me your soul,
I'll take good care of it,
I won't ever set it on the ***** table,
It'll always be in the smallest pocket of my backpack.

The light shines through the locked door,
I know that you are behind me,
Your eyes boring into my back,
Slip me back into my slumber.

I found that you aren't so nice,
Realizing that you were just toxin,
Blinding my vision, why,
Are you so proud?

Cover me from the rain,
With the tarp you stole from the neighbor's garage,
I'm a sponge that's ****** up too much liquid,
Anymore and I just might gain some weight,
With the weight that rests on my shoulders I don't want anymore,
Cause my frail knees might crumble under me,
And I will lay face down on the ground,
Unable to make a sound and while you surround, I'll be breaking down.

When the sky fell from itself and into the ground,
I was brought to the world's ledge,
The colors turned grey and stale,
And whenever I looked up,
All I saw was my guardian angel grinning down on me.

The monsters in the earth started to grow,
Wrapping their arms around my legs and dragging me backwards,
These beasts didn't let go of me,
I was beginning to cherish the rotting of my teeth.

I feel like I talk about colors too much,
When I try to explain my place,
I'm missing the feeling of suffocating,
And I don't know why,
The guardian angel has been found under the front porch,
It turns out he was one of those beast,
I'm not too proud.

The monsters in the earth started to grow,
Wrapping their arms around my legs and dragging me backwards,
These beasts didn't let go of me,
I was beginning to cherish the rotting of my teeth.

What the future holds,
Is something that scares me,
Cause it's one of those things,
Where I wanna be,
Something,
Something more,
Sing for something more,
It's just a chore,
But I love it.

If there has ever been a time for me to hide,
It's now cause the tide is coming in high,
Oh, mighty sky, I can't see through to the outside,
I see the walls, how they climb into a terrifying lie.

I've broken my leg one too many times,
In fact, it might have been exactly nine,
I'll thank heaven that I wasn't born a feline,
I'm a clever ruse hidden inside a fallacious disguise.

It's this pride I've locked eyes with,
I refuse to ever say goodbye cause this vibe,
My dancing shoes are on and I'm getting high,
Oh, wretched fright, I want to see inside your mind,
Do you trust me to go with the flow and jive?

Limping across the sand to the lifeguard's stand,
And within my hand I will find a land,
It's my land, my brand, an undeniable dance.

There's something creeping in the dark
Lurking in the darkest corners of my head
I know what it seeks, what it wants from me
And it's going down on my carcass tonight.

I have nothing to my name
So no matter what I say
I'll just be a pile of bones the next day
Nobody cares for the broken boy
I'm an attention seeking *****
I better find my way home before he dines on me.

The violence in the air
Keeping my brain ******* on
Warns me of something big
So I run the way I did when I was born.

I have nothing to my name
So no matter what I say
I'll just be a pile of bones the next day
Nobody cares for the broken boy
I'm an attention seeking *****
I better find my way home before he dines on me.

I really hope that you're alright,
I keep on noticing all these little changes,
The way your smile never makes the corner of your eyes crinkle.

It concerns that you never want to leave the house,
Even your favorite movie makes you want to die inside,
Could we talk for a little while?

I didn't wanna fall asleep last night,
I was afraid that you would be dead once I closed my eyes,
You keep on giving me those sad eyes and I'm only more convinced.

Hey, can we make some pastries?
I know it won't solve your fake smiles,
But I need to show you that I care the most,
Trust me now, won't you?

Everyday I ask you, "What's the matter?"
You respond without a thought,
I never believed you but I didn't want to pry.

Except that every day that I see you walk by,
I know that all you want to do is find the gun your father has,
I don't even want to think what you'll want with it.

Hey, can we make some pastries?
I know it won't solve your fake smiles,
But I need to show you that I care the most,
Trust me now, won't you?

Bench on the path,
He sits in the middle of the woods
Covered in the prints of time,
He’s withstood howls of anger,
And cries of anguish,
In the middle of the woods.

Bruises and cuts were tended to,
As were disconnected friends,
Two lovers brought closer,
And a father with his child.

Bench on the path,
He’s still in the middle of the woods,
Brimming with memories of animals,
The ones who died,
and the ones who fled,
In the middle of the woods.

Walls keep closing into my frame,
Temperature skyrockets as I stare until my own eyes burn away,
I can't sleep at night when all my friends are dead or gone,
Eating my own ****** guts on the clothes-ridden floor.
Emotions are all either dead or overpowering.

What makes you think of the stars?
Does it ever keep you up at night?
What is it like to know you'll be alright?
All I ever get from sleep are scars.

Settled into a little room,
Not enough to hold all of my missing friends.
Every day is the same I want out of it now.
I wonder if there will ever be a day when I won't want to burn away.

What makes you doubt yourself?
And does it ever keep you up at night?
Tell me, what is it like to know that everything's alright?
All I ever get from sleep is waking up to the same old shelf.

If they really cared they would text me back,
I only asked for help once and now I'm off the hook,
My only thought is that it's all my fault,
And you wonder why I'm not alright.

Wish I could get sent to space and witness an exploding star,
Nothing feels right anymore with only four corners,
Am I an animal for thinking I should die,
Looking at my hands that almost appear to be bleeding,
Green is all I see from head to toe,
Lights dim and I lay myself to sleep.

How high must I fly,
To feel like I'm getting by,
Instead I sit and cry,
Up towards the blue sky,
I continue to deny,
Your words silently reply,
But I know I am but a simple guy,
So why would I ever hear your voice nearby?

Tying to be so cold,
So that I don't feel uncontrolled,
I've lost all my gold,
And I've felt my soul already sold,
To the wind, away as foretold.

I scrape by on broken toes,
And ripped up clothes,
I have been froze,
In place, to decompose,
And placed into comatose,
So forgive me if I repose,
Your thoughts, as my foes.

Tying to be so cold,
So that I don't feel uncontrolled,
I've lost all my gold,
And I've felt my soul already sold,
To the wind, away as foretold.

Im holding onto you.
Now I'm holding onto you.
All I'm holding onto is you.
Grasping and holding onto you.

we are The Young,
the ones who control,
The Fate.

though you might stand alone,
away from The Young.
Standing in my arms,
watching towers fall from grace.

we can start,
all over.
please don't kiss my lips,
I cannot bear the razors in your teeth.

I've gone through nothing,
compared to The Old.

The Fate,
rocks The Old to sleep,
foretelling of,
a brand new world,
but only Time.

only will The Young,
call you to arms.

Am I really that gullible,
or are you just that delectable,
Those ******* eyes, you're just so lovable,
I feel so untouchable with you by my side.

You're my ride or die,
You're my number one high,
Don't ask me why,
Cause I won't reply.

******* up little pistol,
You're not so simple,
Your hand's a handle,
Let's shoot to the route of hopefulness.

Get your ***** hands off of us,
Shove your prehistoric lips into the floor,
Rug burn up your paper thin skin,
Splintered your hollow bones.

Those two got a track record,
Here's to the brandy drunk uncles,
hooded back street lurkers,
and the bar top companions who go by one rule, "you snooze, you loose."

Thoughts and prayers, I love the savior,
Mister Joe, you've got our back,
Tell me what you have up your sleeve,
Next it'll be just an 'abracadabra' away.

Walking on the pavement that wishes me goodbye,
Tripping up on my own self-doubts,
The cracks were never there until I blamed,
The cinder king.

The buildings are cracking,
The secrets slipping through,
I was never ill but still I was sent to the pharmacy,
Farming the children who broke the line and wanted to get away.

It has bothered me for way to long,
I have got to go and make a new road,
Cause the one I've been trekking is pooling with blood.

Trading with a demon for some new meaning,
I know you want more but you just will not leave,
This concrete oasis at the edge of the forest.
Hometown is home when you have nowhere else to go.

I’m a ***** little birdy
You groom my feathers till I’m flirty,
It’s funny cause you’re thirty
Keep telling me I’m “Purdy”
Just so mature
Just so mature
So mature, yes sir!

Just ***** inside and ***** outside,
It’s not mud ill truthfully confide,
Got caught, spider trap, cause you weren’t doing time,
Vampire bat bit my neck I can’t feel any limb of mine,
Tiny body of bones and red fruit punch liquid, oh yeah, you’re super pure, likewise!
Now I’ll show you something,
Yeah, I’ll ******* show you loving!

I’m a ***** little birdy
You groom my feathers till I’m flirty,
It’s funny cause you’re thirty
Keep telling me I’m “Purdy”
Just so mature
Just so mature
So mature, yes sir!

If I could. Oh, if I could.
Take my time, you stay tied,
Black chair, plastic sheets,
Floor to ceiling I’ll change the tide,
By the end I’ll bleed you dry,
Just for that, I’d pay the price.

Checked through all of our old conversations,
Couldn't believe all this time passed,
I've changed so much I doubt you'd even like me any more,
But I just wanna say that I miss you so.

The way you looked at me,
The way you held my hand,
The way we could make each other laugh.
But I just need to say that I miss you so.

The first time I realized I was going to grow old,
Was when I was with you,
You made me the best man I could've ever been,
I wished it never ended,
But I just wanna say that I miss you so.

The way you looked at me,
The way you held my hand,
The way we could make each other laugh,
But I just need to say that I miss you so.

Pink sweatshirts,
Long distances and funny little pictures,
Sleeping through the sound of mothers yelling,
Night-time praises and young love,
Round glasses that always made me melt,
Chocolate brown eyes that you hated.

I just need to say that I miss you so.
I just really need to say that I miss you so.
I just really, really need to sing.
Sing it out of me.

I don't want to sound magic,
I just want to sound tragic.

I don't wanna be famous,
I just wanna make payments.

I don't want to become a jaded **** Jagger,
I just wanna be a ludicrously crazy ******.

I don't want to be the media's dogma,
I just wanna ****** all their ******* drama.

I don't want kids to look up at me,
I just want them to see the poison I breathe.

Don't cry when my phone goes dead,
See that last text, you read.

And feel that gut-dropping dread,
Run to the house, where I'm alone.

Then continue into the place,
To my face, all those words you droned.

I'm gonna spray some ******* mace,
I've had enough of tossing you a bone.

You're nothing but a testosterone injected zombie,
Get a new ******* hobby.

Kitten-hitting,
Depression-denying,
******* ****** crazy.

Sideways for the attention,
Lengthwise for the results,
Thank you Marilyn Manson,
I'll remember that for next time.

You're going to wish and beg,
That you could turn back time,
Cause I'll be dead and gone,
And you'll be left to weep.

Look at all these notes,
Of nights passed on,
Maybe I wasn't numb enough,
Or my blade sharp enough.

You're going to wish and beg,
That you could turn back time,
Cause I'll be dead and gone,
And you'll be left to weep.

You told me that I,
Was doing it to pretend,
To manipulate and lie,
So that I could get attention,
Well I'll turn my blade,
And then you'll understand.

You're going to wish and beg,
That you could turn back time,
Cause I'll be dead and gone,
And you'll be left to weep.

Leftover screws,
Congregate at pews,
Mourn for my death,
I sliced up my own neck,
Bleeding out on the floor,
I hope you open the door.