Lost within space and time,
Memories turned sour as lime,
Crashing over a salty line,
Bringing me back to a scared mind,
Tell me what the hell was my crime?

Eyes unfocused inside the storms,
Crazy how a new perspective forms,
When taken from the conforms,
That shapes, molds, and transforms.

Asked God,
Who am I?
Asked Gaia,
Who am I?
Asked Osiris,
Who am I?
Asked Pan,
Who am I?

I found out that I'm my own god,
I'm my own mind,
I'm my own.
I own my mind.
I am my own god,
And I ask for a lot.

Hold your reservations,
For just a while longer,
I know you see I'm crumbling,
And you know there's nothing you can do,
Just hold on a little longer.

I'm slowly seeing colors,
Getting some more sober,
Will it finally be over,
Once I find my home and hunker?

Creeping up behind me,
Holding it over my head,
What else should it possibly be?
Where could have I been lead?
If not for the searing fire under my skin?

I'm slowly seeing colors,
Getting less and less sober,
Will it finally be over,
Once I find my home and hunker?

If I'm wild, If I'm uncontrollable,
Then I'm untouchable,
Don't you ******* touch me,
You sickly mangy hog,
I am nothing but god,
No I swear, I'm above it all,
I am, I promise, I beg,
Stop prying, stop vying,
I'm lost, I am, I beg,
Please call for the cops,
They'll shoot me,
Shoot me dead before you enter.

I'm slowly losing visibility,
Getting much less sober,
It'll never be over,
I'll never find a home outside my pretty head.

Hold your reservations,
For just a while longer,
I know you see I'm crumbling,
And you know there's nothing you can do,
Just hold on a little longer,
I'm finding ways to crack walls,
Taking chisels and hammers,
Please, hold on somewhat longer.

Pockmarked arms,
Sound off alarms,
Stargazing farms,
Dependent on charms.

Unrealized power,
Atomic shower,
The flavor's sour,
Everybody had better cower!

I dont give a ****,
By stupid, you've been struck,
As you run amok,
Running over kids with your truck.

Unrealized power,
Atomic shower,
The flavor's sour,
Everybody duck and cower!

Planted marigold at the doorstep,
There's blood left in your stead,
It's all you've ever been fed,
I think you're out of your depth.

Hats off,
Heads down,
Gather round,
Pray for the sound,
Pray for the sound,
Pray we'll all be found.

What's life,
Without suicide?
The contemplation,
To accuse the abused.

God forbid a kid,
But **** an adult,
The glorification,
To alter a perception.

Hungry for the other side,
We all assume we know,
So much so that we throw,
Our blood to the streets.

What's your life,
Without a suicide,
A kid with no thought left,
Knocked a chair to the right.

I hope everyone's expectations of me,
Are thrown right back in their face.
I hope I never find someone to love,
And everyone learns to fear me.
Cause I'm fear-ridden myself,
So why should I deserve love?

There's this bomb fragment,
Left overs in my stomach,
From the last time that I nearly died,
And the feeling that overcame me,
I don't want to feel again,
But I truly believe I will.

I better be dead before I'm fifty,
So I don't have to see the end,
I better see God and flip him off,
Then go on to haunt my loved ones,
Cause then they'll think I care,
When really I just want to scare them.

The rust spreads every day,
I'm dying at just the thought,
That maybe I'll spend my money,
On something completely useless,
Or maybe I'll drive into a ditch,
While completely blackout drunk,
Maybe then I'll regain my senses,
And find company with someone's gods.

I'm not going back to the time,
When I slept over at Motel 6,
I won't dare to dream of riches,
Cause then I'll lose my humanity,
I'm not going back to the time,
Where I passed out on the family couch,
Thinking that was the last time,
I'd ever see my mom's face,
I'm not going back to the time,
Where my step-daddy hit me,
Over and over again,
I can't stop this endless churning,
Of grief and mindless decay,
So pray that I make it,
Another painful day.

Intoxicated on your medication
Everybody compares you to drugs
Is it because
You're just so
Toxic yet lovable?

Abandon me on the park bench
Leave me to get high
All alone, on my own
The stars don't seem as bright
We think you're
Just oh so
Lonely yet charming.

Drop our phone call when I'm stranded
Just off of Main Street
Didn't word myself very well
So I'll walk home
You'll feel bad
Only when I get swept away
By traffic and rain.

Romantic isn't your style
You admitted to me
While I was dying on the wayside
Over by eastern tide
Another night again
I guess, I'll walk myself home
As a heartbroken ghost.

Intoxicated on your medication
Everybody compares you to drugs
Is it because
You're just so
Toxic yet lovable?

Why do you care for me at all,
When I can barely care for myself,
They say that you can't love someone,
Unless you begin to love yourself,
Then why do I still look for your smile?

Its all this debris that clutters the epicenter,
The point of no return was the moment you looked into my eyes and saw a human worthy of love,
I'd rather you curb stomp my head and take me out,
At least then I don't have to reconcile with the inevitable consequences of being alive.

The feelings are all the same,
Hopelessness, worthlessness, impending doom,
With the context of all that I was,
And all that I have become,
They feel mature these days,
Perhaps more manageable,
but I'd argue that they're worse,
The consequences are only tenfold,
I'm supposed to operate without hitch,
Yet here I am, reiterating the feeling of a fall.

the feeling of the fall

the feeling of the fall

the feeling of the fall

F
A
L
L
.
.

When its everything above and below the infinite starscape,
A crisis so appealing to the romantic's depthless eye,
Marlboro sold me an image and it's chaos, confusion, nothing more nothing less.

Nobody move,
Nobody groove,
Just self-soothe,
Imperceptible and crude.

Thin and lithe in the crumbling perception of stardom,
Braindead at the end of the world and the beginning of time,
Create a lake, a boulder, a man of many shapes and sizes,
Follow closely or crush my feet under the pressure.

Nobody move,
Nobody groove,
Just self-soothe,
Imperceptible and crude.

Take the lead home, into the dusty attic,
The wind will still and my feet will plant,
The wood grows over some exposed bone,
I highly recommend leaving me alone
It's the best we can do in this chapter.

Nobody move,
Nobody groove,
Just self-soothe,
Imperceptible and crude.

I know you don’t know,
Just how many times,
I have asked to die,
Well, I’m not special for it,
I know, I recite it for my ego.

Crippling self-awareness turns,
Folds over, crushes my free will,
What I want could get me killed.

Should I be pulled apart by machinery?
Painful until the untimely fade of the mind?
Or should I find my deathbed at the end,
Lay down and hold a couple hands as I cry.
How pathetic I could be?
How tragic could I be?

Crippling fear of the end turns,
Folds over, crushes my free will,
What I want could get me…****.

I’M GONNA ******* DIE ?

ONE DAY             OH ****             ONE DAY

ONE DAY.

I’LL KEEL OVER AND DIE,
STOP IT BEFORE IT HAPPENS,
TIME TRAVEL, DESTROY TIMELINES.

ONE DAY             OH ****             ONE DAY

ONE DAY.

I’LL MEET A TENDER,
MAYBE WRATHFUL DEITY.

WORSE YET,
BE CURSED INTO NOTHINGNESS.

Crippling fear of every step I take,
Like a child learning how to walk,
I’ll fold over, crush my own free will,
What I want will get me killed.

Interlocked in a knife fight,
Between a hooded figure,
And a terrified child,
Seems unjustified.

Corral every moment,
Corner them into a vacuum-

I was bad,
But bad was all I ever had.
I was scared,
But I had to keep my teeth bared.
I was dreadful,
But maybe I’m just forgetful.

Nothing stops a dog fight,
Two animals, frightened,
Unable to escape,
So they gnash and tear.

Is it their fault?

Corralling the externalities,
Corner them into a cage.

I was bad,
But bad was all I ever had.
I was scared,
But I had to keep my teeth bared.
I was dreadful,
But maybe I’m just forgetful.

And I apologize for it,
It's not the first time,
It's not the last time,
I'm not who I thought I was.

Just wanna smash up my old car,
Cause the memories made so far,
Are settling and tearing me apart,
I don't wanna go back to the start.

Bits and pieces,
**** and wheezes,
Risky maneuvers,
Here's to our futures.

Wholly partitioned into facets,
I would prefer to just gas it,
Turn them into exoplanets,
Let the crumbling system surpass it.

Bits and pieces,
**** and wheezes,
Risky maneuvers,
Here's to our futures.

Eventually,

No. Say it with me.

Eventually we'll all end up in the dirt.

Our minds thoughtless.

Incompressible darkness.

Eventually,

We'll all reckon with our mortality.
Regardless of our immortal will.

Parts scattered,
Upholstery tattered,
It never really mattered,
Bits and pieces,
**** and wheezes,
Risky maneuvers,
Here's to our contributions.

I am more,
More than anything,
More than a being,
What am I seeing,
What am I needing?

I am at my core,
Shop at my store,
**** on the floor,
Tear off the door,
Its okay, that's what I'm here for.

I'm feeling greedy,
So utterly needy,
Baby let's sign this treaty,
Colonize me completely,
Heart on the floor with diabetes.

I am at my core,
Shop at my store,
**** on the floor,
Tear off the door,
Its okay, that's what I'm here for.

Once a day I'll please you,
If I'm no good, stage a coup,
I'll be the king you overthrew,
And I will grovel at your shoes,
Eye to eye with the real you.

I am at my core,
Shop at my store,
**** on the floor,
Tear off the door,
Its okay, that's what I'm here for.

That's how I like it!
Don't knock it till you try it!
Best I'll do is light it!
Don't you dare fight it!

Curb stomps,

Time stops,

**** cops,

Don't stop!

Please, in the name of the law,
Hunt me down like a dog,
Hear me, I'll be shouting-
"Stupid ******* HOG"

That's how I like it,
Don't knock it till you try it,
Best I'll do it light it,
Don’t you dare fight it!

Curb stomps,

Time stops,

**** cops,

Don't stop!

Esteemed Executioner!
May I present my case?
Against all odds,
I have prevailed,
Please don’t deny me bail!

I am your enemy.

I am your enemy.

I am your enemy.

I am your dream.

Pinpoint the subsurface crack,
Stare until my vision goes black.

We must be complete maniacs,
Eating our own dental plaque.

Here's a toast to the next generation,
They'll solve what's wrong with the nation.

Survived our own cremation,
But will we survive damnation?

Teeth rotting out of our mouth,
Won't let the dentist into the house.

Ignore all of the deep seated doubt,
Despite pain that screams so loud.

What's the solution for this?
We'd rather live in ignorant bliss.

Obey the laws, stay off the lists,
There's a crushing boot we'd rather kiss.

The leather taste masks the decay,
Step out of line and we will all pay.

Stare horrified at the widening gaps,
Watch our leaders take lazy laps.

As we stand and ignore the collapse,
Instead we rip apart the lower class.

Using dental tools to pretend,
We get it and we comprehend.

How we have come to descend,
Yet still, we're unable to amend.

The rich stand inside golden gates,
Pointing their fingers at the baits.

Watching us fixate on our tails and give chase,
By the time we're broken down, it's too late.

By now, it's too late,
We'll watch and meet our fate,
The tooth decay much too great,
Gave in to the ouroboros of hate.