When sitting within the room where I was reborn,
I cannot tell if the fumes that I exhale are toxic,
When I'm so afraid for anyone to know me,
For what if they find out I'm a tyrant before I do?

Sitting in a crowded room with the lights,
Bearing down on my shoulders and tongue,
Manage the twisting shame through trials,
I am a twisted beast full of sin and carnage.

I am a twisted beast full of sin and carnage,
A dictator pleading with deities for forgiveness,
Ravage the next night with vicious vices,
I am nothing more than a young and dumb kid.

Sitting in a crowded room with the lights,
Bearing down on my shoulders and tongue,
Manage the twisting shame through trials,
I wish I was confident in my impoverished crimes.

Don't look my way, no, cause I'll feel it,
Bitterness that crawls into my throat-

Is it that I'm a bad dog?
Am I dog trained to protect myself?
Or am I a stray yearning for a home?
Can I follow someone home and curl into their lap?
Can I lick my own wounds and share them carefully?
Or will my hackles begin to raise as my lip curls?
Or will I turn to bite and tear at the hand's flesh?

Sitting in a crowded room with the limelights,
Bearing down on my shoulders and tongue,
Manage the twisting shame through trials,
I am a twisted beast full of sin and carnage.

I am as I was raised to be.

Remains spread across a mossy bed,
Trees warned of the wind above,
Dissuaded from reassembling,
Decided rotting was better,
Transforming into the earth below.

These hands,
These arms,
This torso,
This mess,

It’s more so,
Less so,
Guess so,
It’s so-so.

From moss comes the dewdrops,
Caught sight of the glimmer,
Travelling inside of fingernail beds,
Through pumping varicose veins,
The pressure erupts through-

These eyes,
These ears,
This nose,
This mess.

It’s more so,
Less so,
Guess so,
It’s so-so.

These legs,
These feet,
This tragedy,
This mess.

I’m less so,
More so,
Guess so,
I’m so-so.

Startled awake,
Thought I was fake,
It didn’t take,
For heaven’s sake.

Tried so hard to blend in,
Balancing on the head of a pin,
So many me's to choose from,
Whoever is needed, I'll become.

King of the dirt hill,
Inside of suburban hell,
Its how hard I fell,
From being a run of the mill,
kid.

Standing firmly on the sideline,
Picking absently at a dandelion,
They thought I'd be something,
Thought I would be something.

King of the dirt hill,
Inside of suburban hell,
Its how hard I fell,
From being the run of the mill,
kid.

Are you proud of me?

Be honest.

Are you proud of me?

Don't lie.

Are you proud of me?

Cause it's all coming crashing down,
And I'd hate to see you frown,
Now tell me. Are you really proud?

King of the dirt hill,
Inside of suburban hell,
It's how hard I fell,
From being the run of the mill,
kid.

There's a struggle between
The devotion to the artistry,
And their perception of me,
For which one am I to believe?
Stick with it and upkeep the status quo,
Or admit that everything is utterly faux,
Im grown, I can keep boiling temps in tow,
Yet I tune in to the rerun, Im getting low,
"Well what could it possibly mean?"
If they cant discern, can't read between?
Take it for what it is and not wipe the slate clean,
They'll get mean and tear at the slightest fraying seam.

If I stand in a way,
If I walk in a way,
If I write it in a way
If I sing it in a way,
Well I hope its okay,
I hope that you'll stay.

Im scared that i'll become something,
To someone I know nothing,
About.
If I take this perilous, route,
I might not find my way out,
If that's the risk, I'll pay the price,
For the vibe, they will entice,
Pulling me into the tides,
No matter how many tries,
I'm still tied to this line,
Divided between my own mind,
No matter cause I'll pay the price.

If I stand in a way,
If I walk in a way,
If I write it in a way
If I sing it in a way,
Well I hope it's okay,
I hope that you'll stay.

If I stand in a way,
If I walk in a way,
If I write it in a way
If I sing it in a way,
Well I hope it's okay,
I hope that you'll stay.

An abandoned sunset on the horizon,
Keep persevering towards a limitless sun,
Dark prairie field, a fraction of a second before sunrise,
Before we know it, the calm passes so there’s a demise.

What’s better than the morning air?

The drag of a dead tree and its saturn rings,
Honey, you know I don’t play with these things,
Nothing in the universe or beyond is ever fair,
Then it’s decided, I shouldn’t pretend to care.

A pine cabin sitting pretty in the prime of its life,
Will eventually sit heavy at the end of its strife,
Bitter and old from what it thought it deserved,
Historic yet crumbling, nobody wanted it preserved.

An abandoned sunset on the horizon,
Keep persevering towards a limitless sun,
Dark prairie field, a fraction of a second before sunrise,
Before we know it, the calm passes so there’s a demise.

A sinkhole opens to swallow it all up,
A cabin to the depths,
A sunset to the abyss,
A joint to the deaths,
I know we swear something’s amiss.
Who’s to blame except the wash-up.

In the crosshairs,
In the middle,
Burn their shares,
Bones so brittle.

A dog to the state,
It's you that I hate,
You clean your plate,
Deciding our fate.

Polarize the masses,
Camps in Oklahoma
Lower elites' taxes,
Ignoring meaty aroma.

A dog to the state,
It's you I hate,
You clean your plate,
Deciding our fate.

All that's unfolded,
You've been promoted,
They don't understand,
The tyranny you have planned,
Kissing **** boot,
Baby, it's a reboot,
Soon to be ****** suit,
Will be looking oh-so-cute.

I built this all for you,
A glass house on a hillside,
Observe as the world passes on all sides of you,
Yet you break the walls from the inside,
Letting the glass fall around and cut into your hands,
As you grind it back into bloodied sands.

"The world as you perceive,
Aims only to deceive,
Don't bother trying to find reprieve,
Find your home with me and don't ever leave."

You shook me by my shoulders,
Shouting, pleading that I understand,
The more you begged your hands grew colder,
No matter how harshly you reprimand,
I won't come down,
I won't ever drown,
Not with the likes of a destructive hound.

"The world as you perceive,
Aims not to deceive,
But to try and find something to believe,
Burn down your home and leave me be.

.          .          .          .          .

The world as I perceive,
Breaks me down to my knees,
I'll try to find something to believe,
But burn down the home and grieve."

Do not be afraid of me,
We are all but creatures,
Flesh and bone molded from mud,
Sculpted perfectly imperfect,
Impulses are nothing but challenges,
So, little one, **** me if you must,
I’ll find you once I roam for long enough,
Imperfections exacerbated into anger.

Taking faltering steps as you stare,
Into a formless form that only peers,
Curious but no more wary than a neutered cat,
Turn your fingers to daggers, stab through its flesh.

Now, don’t be afraid of me,
You’ve tidied up your own deathbed,
As the impossible, possible, completely lost control,
Cascades through your fragile mortality,

And you just can’t help but to scream,
Your voice carries into the eons,
The scream resonates through four planes,
Intersecting now as the axis splits.

I can feel your fear,
Your blood pulses red, then blue, then absence,
Nothing matters when you’re only just matter,
A tattered speck of dust left out to settle,
Until the wind picks up and you’re sent,
Like a letter to your final destination,
I can’t feel your fear anymore.

****** nose leaking onto wood floors,
Blue eyes sullen into a dull grey,
Bruises curl 'round with menace,
Bother him when he gets to Hell.

Smell the rot,
Hear the flies.
See the corpse,
Feel the cold vein.

Grand display of regret and guilt,
Garden on display above his plot,
Good on him for finding his home,
Getting back to the real world soon.

Smell the flowers,
Hear the trees,
See the gravestone,
Feel the icy grass.

Hell's not so bad when its yours,
He's left his throne and ****** off,
Heaven's never bothered to intervene,
Here's a toast to reforming the sinners.

Smell the brimstone,
Hear the fire,
See the lost souls,
Feel the humid air.

Forgetting seems easier these days,
For what else can you really do,
Fork inside your steak as you stare,
Funny how it's all so meaningless.

Smell the red meat,
Hear the dishware,
See the watery blood,
Feel the existential weight.

I'm not alone but it still stings,
Intermittently regressing inside,
Inside of an imploding star,
Internally dying once again.

Everyday the signs blur further,
My eyes deteriorating,
Fading into obscurity,
Beyond how I thought they’d decay.

Just as the days grow colder,
The trees fall into their routine,
Inviting me to fall too.

Everyday my breaths hug tighter,
Each inhale clamps around my lungs,
How long till I suffocate?
I’ll find peace in this fate.

Just as the days grow colder,
The trees fall into their routine,
Inviting me to fall too.

Everyday the memory I cling to,
My mind deteriorating,
Fading into obscurity,
Beyond how I thought they’d decay.

Not a day goes by,
Now its endless,
Useless,
Peer upon the fuseless,
Electric machine I pilot,
Created a solution in a daydream.

Now the days stay colder,
The trees fell into the routine,
They invited me to fall too.

Got a feeling you enjoyed the show,
You’re alone in a seat at the front row,
Saw you smile like you knew I’d blow it,
Took me years but I can now decode it.

All I do is question,
Am I who I say I am?
Am I who I say I am?

Believed I was going insane,
Composure I tried to maintain,
Came undone, I tried to explain,
A creature feature for your gain.

Pick the raw stitching by my eyes,
Intent seemingly to antagonize,
A breakdown, only to be utilized,
Proved you're justified to terrorize.

Wish I didn't give a ****,
Am I who I say I am?
Am I who I say I am?

Believed I was going insane,
Composure I tried to maintain,
Came undone, I tried to explain,
A creature feature for your gain.

Now all I do is question,
Am I who I say I am?
Am I who I say I am?

Wish I didn't give a ****,
Am I who I say I am?
Am I who I say I am?

You wanted to hear a confession:
"I'm a liar,
A falsifier,
You've been right,
The whole time,
I'm a liar,
A falsifier."

How's this feeling still so foreign?
I've trekked this, footprints sunk into soil,
Mud curling around dusty boots,
******* them down into the depths.

I'd hate to reiterate it once again,
We fell apart for a reason or two,
Maybe this is my own punishment,
For falling in love but hating the closeness.

Is this enveloping light natural?
Will it sit on faded skin or seep into bones?
It feels like I've started over again,
Please forgive me if I can't hold the sun.

I'd hate to reiterate it once again,
We fell apart for a reason or two,
Maybe this is my own punishment,
For falling in love but hating the closeness.

It's nothing, nevermind.
It's better if I stay inside,
Count my wrist lines,
Tell everyone I'm alive.

I’m drinking bleach,
Yum.

Life is just a peach,
Ate a seed.

Sitting on the beach,
Blood on my feet.

I’m so glad I’m me,
Who would I be?

I couldn’t reach,
The whole meal.

I’m drinking bleach,
Yum.

Cause I’m a leech,
Won’t you please,
Forgive me?

Forgive me?

Forgive me?

I’m drinking bleach,
If you know what I mean,
Forgive me.

Forgive me.

Forgive me.

I heard it begin ticking,
Counting down, a time bomb,
One I knew would tear us apart,
Might have been too much too soon,
But maybe I got caught off guard,
Couldn't manage to breathe enough.

Dinner suspended over the chasm,
A final farewell to all I loved,
Can't find the way to vocalize,
Can't handle how deep you might go.

I tested my strength, found a weak link,
I'm the problem and I must say sorry,
There's more out there, better than me,
Deflect, turn down, as softly as I could.

Dinner churning over the darkest night,
A final goodbye, sadness in my eyes,
Can't find if you saw my wound cauterize,
Can't handle how deep you could've gone.

The bomb ticked down,
5, 4, 3, 2, 1,
There it had blown,
Fear that they'd find,
Find out who I believe I am,
Am I who I say I am?
Am I who I say I am?