Skyler M

Skyler M Dec 2021

All that I can figure out is nothing makes sense,
I end up resorting to burying myself in the sand,
There's a chance that I am nothing more than a child,
And the wind calls away from this place I called home.

My tear ducts are alike to the canals on Mars,
Empty and red from the eons of dread,
You're no better than me, stop pretending.

Skyler M Dec 2021

Life of Me

I feel like buying a gun
Cause I’m not having any fun,
I’m done trying to run,
These days are coming undone,
No longer seeing the sun.

I can’t sleep for the life of me,
Why can’t these thoughts leave me be,
Im struggling to begin to see,
The forest for the trees.

Cry out every night,
God, save me from this plight,
I’m half a human as I write,
Hope I find a little light.

I don’t want to move on,
I keep seeing the same dawn,
It’s the same one I’ve always drawn,
Feeling like a plastic pawn,
I won’t be here for long.

I can’t sleep for the life of me,
Why can’t these thoughts leave me be?
I’m struggling to begin to see,
The forest for the trees.

Skyler M Dec 2021

Fetishization of Saviors

I’m just a product
Of all the trauma,
You raised me this way,
Carry some blame,
Cause I’m holding the shame.

Messy rooms,
Unmade beds,
Dry showers,
Crusted plates.

I’m just romanticized,
You can fix me, I’ll be a prize,
And you’ll hug me and love me,
Till the next time I die.

Messy rooms,
Unmade beds,
Dry showers,
Crusted plates.

I can’t see my floor, anymore,
My room is becoming my tomb,
Just wait I’ll be out soon,
And you’ll see my rat’s nest,
Of disgrace and unrest.

#depression

Skyler M Dec 2021

Looping

I don’t know how to sing,
But it’s all I want to do,
And the floors give way,
To a whole new song,
I just can’t sing along,
Cause I was right the first time,
My voice still sounds so wrong.

Meshing together in a single spiral,
A passion-driven thought,
That’ll wrestle with logic,
I’m hooked to the fight,
A looping paradox.

Skyler M Dec 2021

Exposure

Captured lights steaks of these cars,
Post them up all over the highway chain-link,
Asking 'Which one of these blurry angels would save me now?'
But I know, if they love me as much as they love themselves,
Tell Lucifer I’m on my way.

Skyler M Dec 2021

Saving Face

I’m splitting into two,
Two halves of a whole mess,
Breaking fast to the cliff edge,
Shouting back to save face,
But I’m losing it, I’m losing face.

I’m a terrifying beast,
No more than 4’
Weigh less than paper,
Fighting against the wind.

I don’t feel like myself,
I invite this sudden change as a victory,
Cause I’m saving my grace,
By moving away without a place,
To stay.

He’s haunting me and he loves it,
He’s taunting me and he loves it.

Skyler M Dec 2021

Liability

Now I’m no genius,
Just barely passed high school,
Couldn’t get through college,
And I can’t keep a **** job,
Maybe I’m being dramatic,
Or maybe you’re a ******* ****.

“You’re not disabled, you’re just a lazy ****”
Burned into my head,
“You’re not a man, you’re just manipulating us”
Burned into my head,
“You’re not suicidal, you’re just selfish.”
Burned into my head.

I’m whatever you say I am,
I don’t own anything when I’m here,
Can’t handle your ****-eating grin,
Want to knock your teeth right out,
But I’m too weak,
I’m burned out,
And I’m a ******* freak.

Good luck, bringing me home.
Cause you won’t see me anymore.
My seat will be empty for the holidays,
I know that you won’t care but…
Everyone else will.