Sun broke through the clouds, up high in the stratosphere
Lightning gone, hurricanes dissolved
I no longer reside in the eye of the storm
It's no longer cold
I watch the scars on my arms inflicted from the sharp hail
slowly heal and regenerate
mental state recuporates
fields of blue
stretch to infinity
I can sleep
and enjoy pleasent dreams now..
*exhales

Fixed timelines
Fixed events
Obstacles the size of Spacetouchers
buildings that haven't been constructed
But one day will be build to touch Ozon
Obstructed..
Life abducted
Reluctant
grim present
Grey future
Colourfull past
Counting blessings like a madman
regretting that it didn't last..
Either Imma die of this disease..
Or smoke myself to oblivion
In a cycle of destruction
Body not helping
Mind doesn't give a ****..
the ending of my life has begun
before this boy turned into a man

You are not worthy. For I created you and plunged my expectations in the abyss at which you do not live up to.

When the world sees us for what we are. They will see Gods in a place vast, beyond imagining. - Stevie Ray

The place my drained soul hoped to find some rest
The place I hoped where light would still shine within my chest
Thought  I could settle here, finally relax
unwind from this emotional and mental stress
Living on a shred of hope
that I would stay with you untill my death
This place, where at one point my soul was ripped to shreds
My home left, I didn't blame her. No regrets..

After that..
I was sitting in this emtpy shell
a fragment, ancient remnant of what once was my home
Big place, no soul, just me and my old friend Alone.
The last piece of my old home, my loyal friend..
he had to see his pack go..
I was forced to let him go..I couldn't give him a home
I'm sure he also felt torn and alone..robbed of those he loved..

Struggling to take even the slightest step..
My brothers had my back..
made sure I kept breathing
held my thoughts in check
prevented me from falling into this emotional and mental death..
stood by me as I climbed from the depths
helped me cope with this loss and defeat
and were a crucial part in turning this negativity
into positivity
You know I love you guys
and I am forever gratefull...
I found my resolve, made a step
occasionally fell back
but that was okay..
I was on the road to at least try and find my new home

Present day, sitting in my living room, everything in organised chaos
past months have been a living Hell
now it's time to say goodbye to this empty shell
that was once my home..
I did shed a tear, shook hands with my friend Alone
May we never cross paths again..
Goodbye my friend..

Starstruck I gaze at
memories that glimmer faint
and hide in old light

These hands have never written a word
a thought or a feeling.
They have never captured the essence.
Never reached the centre.
These hands will never shine.
What writes is only my heart
and mind.

What would happen if a happening would happen to happen?

"She's out of your league bro."
..
" Only out of my financial league."

All these words...
All these thoughts...
All these feelings...
They are born in my heart...
And a lot of them live and die in my heart...
Unjustified, silenced and oppressed.
Waves and waves of rebellions course through me
Fighting The Tyrant, Their Captor...
My heart is a prison, a seperate world
from yours and mine.
Where the silenced dead live on as Ghosts.
Ghosts that haunt their dictator
their wails of agony resounding inside my mind
at night. At day feelings of deafening defeat.
Nightmares of hellish places and
being chased and murdered, I die.
But both are feeling watched, they know it
yet continue to fight. Because fighting is all they do.
Their coldness has left my heart so numb.
Embedded in ice is you.

Lock eyes with Medusa and burn my flirtatious look in her mind
as my being turns into stone.
Fill her heart with regret, for she will never know love
nor can she look someone straight in the eyes
and witness a soul.
I'll die contempt forever being able to bring harm
to such a hideous creature.
I'll die relieved as my shoulders crumble
and the world that I am carrying comes
crashing down mercilessly.
I'll die happy, forever relieved to be buried
under my own world.
I'll die a stone, finally becoming one with my world
being physically closer to those I love.
I'll die a world, becoming part of it
I'll wait for someone stronger to carry me.

When I’m under the shower.
I got that helicopter view!

My applause: http://imgur.com/Xx2AM2h

How do I still endure this grueling test?
I guess that's why I smoke so much
but I can't use it to connect
I simply abuse it's elusiveness
heartbruises I lose it
so I cloud all of it's lucidness
I will never get used to theft...

Especially if you take my daughter from me..

That's indeed the way to fuel my death
but here's a never changing fact
she's my daughter, and she inherited
questions, some will be answered
untill my side of the truth is said

and that's why you'll never take her completely away from me
and that's why she'll never be able to completely break with me

And truth be told our marriage was more of a fusion
I would never wish what I feel now.. and what you do upon you
so why do you question me if it all was an illusion?

I see Gods, wearing masks of self betrayal.

They spawn on a green surface
where they feast on the carcass of Creation.
A worldwide theater opens and their inherited ancestral traumas
play out their parts to perfection on the stage of current events.
Their projections are as clear as a day of light pollution,
muddling the bright night skies.
It is the atmosphere that reflects the ocean
and I see pockets of plastic black float in oily hues.
You drink the poison in your waters and you turn into acidic cynics.

Earths mirror is soiled and broken.
It's shattered fragments reflects distorted voices,
that are making love to your inner critics.
Silent whispers slowly mold you into discordant individuals,
with fragmented autonomies as parts but stitched together woven incompleteness.

With your heritage you've denied your weakness.
I grit my teeth as I part with tears of shame.
A loud laugh comes forth from a defiant heart.
A storm dark yet no clouds pass.
Why do you brandish scars with bitter flames?

Feeling mad depressed today. Better roll a big fat joint.

Once again sitting in a room containing four white walls
Behind my laptop where I pass through the Gates
away from Reality, day to day every single day
without restraint I stare at the screen
which metaphorically locks my mind away
My roommate's self made drink
I've been stuffing in my face
Alcohol keeps the pressure at bay
On my table a few plates
left over food remains
old curry symbolically
looking like my lungs
as if they say:
don't smoke, or in a few years you'll regret it everyday
Empty bowl of yoghurt,
remnants of some healthy food I ate
all desperate attempts to balance
my life, sometimes it's hard not to hate
When will I see some light?
But I guess that's a negative perspective
unfit for the current situation
because right now I am what the title states.

I'm a **** in Heaven, head in the clouds.

Under Titan ice lie remnants of an ancient human civilisation

Life made me..
And because life made me
I made walls of ice
fortified my position
against everything that was outside
travelers would have to endure
the onslaught of ice and frost
And I'd rarely allow them refuge..
One day I looked up,
my roof made of ancient ice,
and witnessed an incoming bright light
"Is that a person?"
you broke through every defence
with the utmost ease
something I have never seen..
...and now you live here...
*Welcome Home

We already are, because we consist of molecules and atoms build up in a particuler way.
Inside of the core of these atoms lies a new different world with a weird reality.
This is called quantum physics.
It is known that one quantum particle interacts instantaneously
with a different particle if it's directly affected.
Basically meaning that if you react, it directly affects the reality around you due to quantum particles directly interacting with eachother
Thus you are at two places at once.

The wolves howl underneath the stars
crying towards the moon in the cold night
a mist hangs low, all the alpha's are present
the top of the mightiest packs.
The strong howl fierce and wise
The ghosts of fallen Gods ride on their backs
armed with axes, hammers and swords
eyes that have seen war
eyes that have seen death
and in these events
the impenetrable wisdom of life pierced them
but the greater Gods showed no mercy
as they gave them no tongue
the wind dies down
the hunt begins.

Hysterical laughter comes from a voice within me.
It should reach your ears, since you are not deaf to voices silenced.
Paranoia entered my brain, panic attacks happen
and I can only sleep when my body collapsed.
I effectively murdered the poet that lingers within me
it died horribly, painfully and I'm still bleeding.

I'm enjoying this feeling of agony.

- Stevie Ray de Vries Andries.

I have never made a mistake or did something I regret because I am proud of who I have become and who I am today.

I'm me.
2. I'm a father
3. I'm a lover
4. I'm a friend
5. I'm a son
6. I'm a human
7. I'm a philosopher
8. I'm a poet
9. I'm a student
10. I'm a social worker
11. I'm part of nature
12. I'm part of a family
99. I'm part of this society
0. I'm a soul.

Superior.

Your reality perceived past the event horizon is a truth distorted.
Your soul resides in the very escape mechanisms that put you there in the first place. A tunnelvisionaire claiming to have seen the world. Yet it's definite proof to how confided you remain in your own perceived reality.
The arrogance that resonates from the words you write is written with ink which consists of pethetic.
Your own tears flow more free than you will ever be.
How does that truth make you feel?

You are a prisoner, self-proclaimed victim. You clipped your own wings and started crying how you'll never fly again. The true horror is that others sympathize with you, show you the mercy you ache for and thus confirm that your unhealthy needs and distorted reality remain the place for you to be. How does that truth make you feel?

I for one am disgusted.

I am
the spark that a star lit
the heart in a harness
the scar on a garnet
the law of the lawless
dark in the darkness
marked by the martyrs
target of heartless
raw where the war is
the call of the fallen
the seer for the blinded
impregnate the future
founder of present
perant of past
I am all
all is I
I am God
God is me
I am you
You are me
We are all
All are we
Infinity
is One
I am not
for I am One

Don't give up they told me,
Go out, break a leg
broke my soul
my heart
head shaken
took a heavy left
Gave everything
but the price was death
and I couldn't pay
I wouldn't pay
the price I payed for your happiness
Thinking back, I can only shake my head
If I would pay, would you raise the dead?
or would you leave? Steady, asking
Who should I aim for next?
Your betrayal....
provided my escape from death
now I'm on the sideline
and I can only shake my head
at how you reached this depth
and at the top of the pit I stand
ash falls down
from the rope I had in my hand...

A gentle stream of people
flowing like a river would
flowers on both sides
earth breathing
coincide..
we knew we could
a vast blue sky
filled with birds and ocean life
evolution's true
and the stars at night
bring
a marvelous light
the arm of the milkyway
stretched like one awesome smile
it's my bluebrint of the world
but still it's a raw design

Serene views..
Way past curfew
Lucas Arruda
and the sweet
sound of the waves
softly landing ashore
fusing with the music
and landscape
relaxing the space

A cool breeze cruises  through
like soft emotions moving you
the gentle rustling of the leaves
providing a complete symphony
the Palms sway in harmony
with the waves on the beach

The soft whisper of burning wood and fire
Shadows bobbing on the sand
and the stars flickering light
bring a marvelous sight
the arm of the milky way
opening a view, seen far and wide
It's my blueprint of the world
but still it is a raw design

Sometimes I wish I would give myself permission to die.

CRAP, I CAN ******* THINK IN CYANIDE & HAPPINESS COMICS!

HEY!!!
WHAT THE F*!!
Who are you?
.....
"I'm your muthafuckin' conscience" - Eminem
......
No! You're not..
Alien thoughts invade my mind
Peer within my soul
and what once was beautifully blue
is now a darkened sky
poisoned, negative thoughts
poised to strike
Massacre in my temple
no more praying..
no peace
I was forced to leave
Now he is me
and I.. a remnant
a distant memory
A fragment
From someone
who never really know
who he was
untill the day the invasion came

I need to ******* go to you..
I'm honostly sick of this ****..
World is a ******* small place..
so how can you be so far away?
other side of the globe..
but just an 8 hour flight?!
**** doesn't make sense to me.
Millions of miles away.
On the other side of the screen.
Messages sent take seconds.
I'm jealous...
Everybody knows everybody
six hands connect the entire world.
But I just want to hold yours.
And not let go.

Come with me
When present is ancient
And you are all but dusty bones and ash
I will hold you close like ink on my skin
Or a pendent on my neck
A finger that holds you in one of my thousand rings
I am sorry my love
For I will have many lovers
All which I would hold dear
All which I would give my heart
But my life would be my own
And all of you would come and go
But I will never forget
And I will remember when I will see you next
I will have a different name
Maybe a disguise, a bit of a different face
But my eyes will be the same
And my soul will remember your ancient name
Such is the path an immortal man should take.

we will all die...

A sentence as merciless as Death itself.
Or maybe mercifull?
It's a thing to fear or take comfort in.
It means the unknown is an unignorable truth.
An obstacle bigger than our comprehension
an obstacle stronger than life. Yet dependant.
Circumstances and events lay at it's foundation
and if enough strings are cut
that massive obstacle will crush you.

It's not about give and take. Give and take is not life and death.
I as a person, as a living being am hardwired to live.
Such is inherent and I believe it to be a guideline for survival.

It's inconceivable how good we are at surviving.
I am drenched in this desire, in this curiosity to see what comes next.
Even as I am writing this with the utmost conviction that Death is an obstacle.

It only means one thing.

I am hardwired to achieve immortality.

Gaze upon the light I shed, my own.
Never wish it to be yours
because I deny you the right to claim my light as your own.
Feel free to take from others except my loved ones and we will have no quarrel, they stand outside the bounderies of my concern
But as an acquainted soul of many lives lived
I bring one final gesture from the thought of agreements, promises and alliances that we might have made in a long forgotten past
"Take light from others and you will never shine true"

If you decide to never shine
I hope living in my shadow will bring you comfort and warmth.
My back is strong and shoulders broad
my steps are firm, my intuition a star in the distant horizon
The bricks of my path cemented in unwavering resolve
I will walk
with Heaven in my heart
and fresh air in my lungs
A smile on my face
and kindness in my eyes
With strength build on love
and an inner glow
that is rooted within
the foundation of my soul

I'll grab you from behind and thouroughly poetry slam you through all four corners of the room.
We'll kiss untill we lift dust and roll across the room. Barreling through we whisper three words that couldn't be said too soon: baby watch out! A broom falls and interrupts our resonating groove. Fixated on our sizzling mood. We dance and in one waltz move we interlock and intertwine. In one fell swoop, we continue to make love, we can't waste time. Days go by didn't even gaze at how the moon shines. Not even dazed by the sunlight this stage is our sunrise. Hand marks on the windows, sweaty palms on the walls, sticky sheets on the carpet..paint on the canvas, my face on that canvas?! Your waist on your canvas?! What did we paint on that canvas?! We got laid on that canvas?! Thats a mistake but I can't complain I ******* love the art that we make. I could do it all day..

Burning in a melting ***
sleeping in Jeffrey Dahmers fridge
Breathing Zyklon B
jumping off suicide bridge
All the death that I see
All the horrors taking place today
But what is strange, I'll say
how our social norm is to look away

All these life lessons ignored
All those tragedies that took place
All those uneasy souls
looking at us with a restless gaze
how can we be so blind?
to throw these facts away
death is another part of life
and those that died
point us back from where we strayed

If life is drenched in death
Death is drenched in life

*a creepy disease
Incurable and merciless
It takes
Young and old
But never before birth

And all my loved ones
Are present when I come to pass
Souls that I have spanned hundreds of years with
I close my eyes and exhale
my last breath
As life takes me