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276 · May 2018
When you see her
Samia Rodriguez May 2018
When you see her ,
Don't tell her  not  a day goes
by without you think about her
When you see her,
Don't tell her she was the girl who
you thought was everything you ever asked for
That she showed you true love
The one that made you forget why
You had hurt so many others before her
The one who later on made your tears bounce off walls when it was over
When you see her run away
She does not deserve  to relive the pain
Dont make her eyes turn into thunderstorms
You've brought enough tears to her eyes
When you see her don't knock at her door
You're no longer welcomed
Her doors are locked
You no longer hold the key
Inside hold her tears and memories left behind
When you see her do not talk to her
You words were knives to her
You turned her heart into a graveyard
You left her broken promises
and damaged feelings  
She is learning to survive without you
When you see her
do not welcome her with a smile
For she is no longer yours to hurt
273 · Mar 2018
A trip
Samia Rodriguez Mar 2018
You Brought down the stars for me and you took me on a trip
A trip so unforgettable I couldn't believe you were real
You showed me how to breath in a way I had never breath before
You took away the sharp pains that were there
You made me believe that life had beautiful aspect to it if you had the right person to guide you
You drove into the clouds as if they cotton candy and ever lasting
You made it rain rose petals
You held on to me when I was close to falling back into the dark side
You kept me on the golden path
You fed me honey and crystals
Sweet and ever so elegant
You taught me how to see the the beautiful part of life
You showed me Heaven
You never hesitated to say a sweet melody of words
But a thunderstorm hit
We crashed and tried to stay together
But the winds were too strong
We were both wounded
We tried to save our selves
We lost each other
The storm never seemed to clear after that
262 · Jun 2018
I'm sorry
Samia Rodriguez Jun 2018
I'm sorry for loving you
Loving you too hard
Too much
Loving you is what I'm sorry for
I handed you my body and soul
I expected you to praise it
To treat it right
I loved you too hard
I became a jealous wreck
I feared losing you
I became possessive
I loved you too hard
I fed you milk & honey
I kept you smiling
Kept you living
I loved you too much
I gave up my life for you
You were my everything
I'm sorry for loving you
Because in the process I died and you left
Simply as that
258 · Nov 2019
Trap
Samia Rodriguez Nov 2019
Why is it that I walked into his trap once again
He set out the trap in front of me
I watched him build it
I even helped him
I’ve been in the trap before
Why did I foolishly walk into the trap
knowing it would hurt me
Is it because I enjoy pain or
because I wanted love
222 · Apr 2018
Something you do not know
Samia Rodriguez Apr 2018
The tears flow down my cheek
onto my pillow
My pillow absorbs and hides every single one
I cry in silence
In hope of never being heard
I don't show sadness in front of others
I do not want to be weak
I don't cut
The scars would be too noticeable
I don't tell others my problems
I don't want to be an open book
I smile and walk
My face shows sunshine
But I am rain
201 · Mar 2018
Painting sunsets
Samia Rodriguez Mar 2018
I saw a painted sky
while you only saw a black one
I wanted to change that
I wanted you to see what I saw
I spread out the colors for you
slowly and ever so delicately
without a hurry
we painted the sky together
Your eyes glittered ,gleamed
grew bigger and bigger
As we added a new hue
But our sunset started to change into blues. Our sky was changing shades
I colored over the blues
I frankly tried to smother  them
trying to change back the colors
I was foolish
for you were already beginning to paint a new sky with another girl
186 · Mar 2018
Lost
Samia Rodriguez Mar 2018
I knew I was lost when I completely fell in love with you. When your eyes were a deep ocean that I was drowning in. When your soft lips gave me kisses that acted like honey. I've been lost from the start but I didn't think I would be lost in tears caused by you. I knew I was losing you when you were no longer telling me " I love you"  and when I started to feel like a bother to you. I found myself lost in a hopeless world where everything that was once white was slowly turning a pitch black. I never wanted to be lost in this way. I wanted to be lost in your eyes and in your arms forever. But the only forever you gave me was this pain and ache in my heart, I do not blame you for leaving I would have left me too.
165 · Nov 2018
from 8 to 3
Samia Rodriguez Nov 2018
My day seemed to be the brightest from 8 to 3
thats when I saw my sunshine
Theres this boy and he became my happiness
it was undeniable
he made me smile like never before
He illuminated my day with a simple word or smile
His smile became little ray of sunshine that made me all warm inside
His hugs always acted like a warm new blanket
they were always warm, soft and gentle
If honey were an action they would be his kisses
Sweet and enjoyable
His blue eyes reminded me of the blue sea and all the beautiful creatures
what made me the happiest was his voice
oh his voice is just the best
his voice was smooth, low, slightly scratchy
It always manages to give me butterflies.
From 8 to 3 my day was at it's peak
164 · Mar 2018
Night
Samia Rodriguez Mar 2018
Nights are a time for people to rest and catch up on sleep
But they aren't like that for me.
They became my only time to breath..
I look up at the moon she shines bright and she has her daughters with her. They  aren't as illuminating as her  but they are beautiful.
Every star a life. They watched me every night
watched as tear drops became blood drips. They never judged they Stayed and tried to illuminate  the sky. The moon is my mother and the stars are my sisters. They showed compassion and stayed when no one else did. The scars on my heart became deeper but so did the ones on my body. They didn't judge they watched in silence and listened to my crying. They illuminated the sharp razor edge and watched as it cut through a new patch of smooth skin. The razor glided through without hesitation. He also became my friend. Helped me deal with pain. I wish it wasn't like this but they were the only ones that stayed the only ones that helped ease the pain. Stayed with me at my worse
159 · Mar 2018
Love
Samia Rodriguez Mar 2018
I pressed my lips hard against yours
I waited for a magical feeling to come
For this spell named love
I didn't feel anything
I gave you my body
No feeling

I started to think I wasn't good enough for anyone's love
I spent years looking for love
Searching everywhere
I went around the world
I tried everything
No feeling

The people weren't the problem
I was the problem
I was looking for love in everyone else but myself
I never learned to love myself
I never learned to love the one person that would be for me forever myself
I wanted love
But I wanted love from the wrong people
159 · Mar 2018
Demons in the Dark
Samia Rodriguez Mar 2018
She stood there on the edge
Her Demons had driven her there
After months of darkness and helplessness  
She wanted out
She didn't ask for these shadows that casted a new spell on her
But they grew on her like  flower vines
Her tears fed them making them grow more
She was trapped with no way out
The only way she could think off was simply by killing the plant
But how could she demolish something that has became her
Those Demons  played with her
They made her hate her self ,everything and everyone
They control every centimeter of her
Demons were present at all time except for when she slept
It had hit her
She needed to **** them by killing herself
But she didn't want to
She wanted someone to save her
But no one was there
She looked down at the sharp rocks
They were there as they were willing to end her suffering
159 · Mar 2018
Waves
Samia Rodriguez Mar 2018
Everything is watery ,
not from the tears in her eyes that all of a sudden became friends with her eyes.
Everything became a storm
Her eyes, soul, and mind
Her eyes became deep dark blue oceans that hid a million feelings
Her soul filled with big clashing waves that roared from side to side .Each time getting higher and louder.
Her thoughts were flooded and fuzzy. Nothing was clear.
She never showed this side. Her four bedroom walls watched her suffer and never said a word. But became her biggest comfort.
Never showed one sign.
They stayed blunt and ordinarily like the other side of her .
Not one clue showed.  
She was trapped, she didn't know how to get out of the water.
She is slowly drowning
and no one will know till she sits at the bottom of the ocean lifeless.
She will eventually float to the top and the oceans will fade slowly.
She will be in the clouds, finally at rest .
158 · Jul 2018
cigarettes
Samia Rodriguez Jul 2018
I’m your pack of cigarettes
When you feel like your world is falling apart
You pull me out because you know ill always be there
You smoke me to feel relief
You throw me away once you are happy again
But do you realize how you are slowly taking a little piece of me
How you’re slowly killing yourself
You are living in a constant state of depression
I cant keep being your temporary happiness
Even a pack of cigarettes runs out
I want to be the sun in your life not the pack of cigarette
Not pack you take cigarette you smoke and throw away
154 · Dec 2018
Good Enough
Samia Rodriguez Dec 2018
You say I am good enough but
Why don’t I feel like I am?
It is because I cry awake at night
Feeling like a weak soul
Or is it because I can't give you the love & affection you deserve
It is not your fault I have been hurt in the past and haven’t healed
Or is it the fact that I keep hurting you
I don’t meant to I just seem to hurt and destroy what enters my life
I am not good enough for the simple being
that your heart and thoughts are pure
For my heart is damaged and my thoughts are blurry
I am sorry I am a hard person to love
148 · Jun 2018
fruit
Samia Rodriguez Jun 2018
You were the fruit to my tree
You grew on me slowly
you held on to me
We looked beautiful together
But there comes a times when the fruit is taken away
But you were taken to early
I wasn’t ready to let you go
But she saw you from miles away
She fed you water and checked on you everyday
She picked you off as if were nothing
You didn’t fight it
You were ready to go
I don’t know what hurt more losing you or knowing you were in love with someone else
147 · Apr 2018
The reader
Samia Rodriguez Apr 2018
He glanced at the cover
It caught his attention
He held his gaze upon it
A few weeks later he decided to open the book
He found horror and broken pieces,
But there was
love, & kindness
He didn't skip a page
He read from left to right
He knew when the story would change
He knew every word
My body was his book
My body's scars and shape became a new story
He glided his hands across my body
Each section telling a story
The wounds became a reminder of the hurt
The smiles and squinted eyes became the happy
He became a reader
My body became his favorite book
145 · Apr 2018
Puzzle
Samia Rodriguez Apr 2018
I started out a puzzle
No one took to time to solve me
They just tried to fit pieces together
People came and left
Each time leaving me more damaged
I ended up being broken pieces
I remained untouched
No one looked at me
I received stares and judgements
I was the one left in the shelf
But a boy came along
He took me home
He examined every pieces
He took months and months
He fixed the broke pieces
My broken pieces became puzzle pieces  
He left
He couldn't handle me anymore
I was too much for anyone to begin with
I went back to broken pieces
121 · Nov 2018
Not sure
Samia Rodriguez Nov 2018
I am not sure when his smile became my ray of sunshine
Or when his eyes were the only ones I seemed to get lost into
I am not sure when my thoughts became his new home
Or when seeing him took my breath away
Or when his kisses became my sweet
they were the only sweet I longed for
or when his voice became the only melody to my ears that could bring peace and love
Im not sure the he became part of me  
The one thing I am sure of is the love and warmth he has brought upon

— The End —