my bones urge me to
reach out, reach towards you
bear an honest to god broken smile
tell you how violence lives in the back of my mind in a whisper
tell you my will is as thin as paper
dissolve slowly in your arms
but you're so far away
and i have to find a way
to do this on my own
force myself to be okay
gotta stop getting you caught up in my
messy hot glue strings

I cannot believe  
You would run away from
This
When you told me
That you knew it
Was everything
And
I refuse to
Give in to my
Humanity
For you
For ******* you
I listen
And if you were here
Instead of runaway
I would stand my ground
And tell you
As you wish
How wrong it is
To have gone away
When you
Know you
Have just abandon
Your own principality
For false
Peace
..
Fine
trade your ******* heroes for ghost
This war battles on without you

You were the ocean
infinite in some ways
mysterious and dark, impossible to reach the bottom

Powerful, pushing me and shifting my weight from standing to floating

You were the ocean
large, expansive
But so soft, a carrying presence
I knew you would never set me down

That fateful day
I was standing on the shore, picking tiny shells out of the sand to give to you, lifting my skirt so as not to get it wet

I saw the wave growing in the distance, but I didn’t think to move
As it grew closer, I did not panic.
10 feet, 20 feet, 30 feet tall. A wall
and when your freezing cold wave crashed over me
I still didn’t think to move

You could never hurt me.

Under your abyss, I could see my red hair turn to kelp
Thirty feet long, rooted in the ground

I begged you to release me, swallowing salty seawater
But you held fast

You were so beautiful
you could never do a thing like this

I always thought you would be the ocean under my boat
The wind in my sails
The love in my heart


But I drowned that day


I am still trying to determine
If I will ever grow gills

Mold me a helm of platinum.
Plate my neck in ornate roses
and arc both ******* in tongues of steel.
Spill an hourglass of silver sheets
to silhouette each torso curve.
Sculpt iron vines over each hip.
Caress my keep in chastened press;
form gold like liquid down my legs.

Engrave a crest of two joined doves
upon my hexagonal shield.
String leather sheathes with your golden hair.
Equip a morning star with spires
that mock the dullness at your rest,
yet forge my sword of diamond strength
formidable as your excited state.

Look on me where I stand armored.
Embrace away my fancied suit.

Please…
lay me down, Love, gently Love,
and place a flower in my hair.