I am, and then
my placement at birth.
and then the imprint upon my steps here.
the environment of my first breath,
this latest rebirth. it set, absorbed
all the energy of the sky at that moment.
in those few ticks,
I pierced through the waters into the heavens.
I rise, and the stars took hold.

mercury rests in pisces,
the home of free speech.
here I swim with other bits of me.
dreamy and wandering.
visions of clarity, clearly in my feelings.
exploring through my senses,
she catches the drift downstream,

embracing the sun, whom also lives
in pisces. here a free bird,
flying high among the trees,
and taller still.
inner knowing is to live for others,
needing to know I've done all I could.
needing to know why I breath,
why I see,
hearing the responses through the dream.
the messages come from within.

the aquarian moon, I feel
connects me with the the new school.
the future tense, the push through.
how the next generation sees.
and I can tend to be aloof,
leary of claiming low vibing energies.
feeling capable of overcoming these.
truly seeing in the dark,
with the water bearer sharing the stage
with the balsamic moon,
and the birth as the sun shifts to the
other horizon,
this dark truth,
enlightens my core,
allows peace to come through,
and I fight for it.

I fight for you,
mars in aries has taught me to act
then choose. this aspect of me
I'd rather lose, I used to despise.
I embrace her too now, though she's
a lioness prepared to protect her cubs.
when she's turned on, I run,
the piscean nervous for whats next.
my youthful passion takes precedence
and even I recommend calling off all bets.
the next steps will be a let off of stream.

as the passionate me, the venus
placement also shares the energy of aries.
the intense lover of all things.
the beginner of new things.
the young hearted lover coming alive
in the heat of the new.
she has brought me though many lessons
I needed.
I trust her steps, too. though I tame this beast.
I coax her to a simmer, barely a boil.
though she's only patient.
the fire will explode.

I give thanks to my virgo rising,
she will always come and clean it up.
never afraid of a little dirt.
a little analytical processing of stuff.
she will help my healers heart
grow up.
she holds me accountable.
checking my choices, making me a bit nervous.
I calm her now some, though
she can take over in an instant.
scanning for more info.

I am scanning for more,
wondering who made me.
how these bits and pieces came together
to create my steps.
to mold my challenges,
to shape my lessons.
there is an answer.
I believe its on the other side of the stars.
I'll never stop searching.

Ive never questioned my sexuality
though I am falling in love with you,
deeply, and it makes me think about things.
it makes me ponder what feminine is.
masculine too. how is it you
totally satisfy in the moments your in.

those stalls of time, positioned
in between great tragedy and better wins.
these blissful moments where I see you.
your voice I feel on the wind.
your beauty exploding from within,
your selfless nature experienced.
your womb noticed beneath my feet,
allowing me to fly and stand firm.

I fall deeper into you,
down through each burrow built.
each cavern cleared, I desire to be within.
rebirth again, as the seeds take flight.
blown over water, and land,
traveling farther than expected.
roots extend, and feelers test the environment.
searching for life's environment.
the moments where electric can manifest,
where sound can express,
where her breath can be released
and a new burst of pure divinity
can come forth.
the life slowly emerges,
carefully and confidently trusting its
early presence, knowing
it is time.

the fire hovers the ground,
breaking barriers, singe the air.
currents sparked, quiet steps.
ones unknown.
uncommon moments to be born.
though the minutes tick forward,
and the time is here.

surrendering my low vibing energies,
casting them out to sea.
awaiting the cleansing.
it approaches slowly, quicker now.
the rivers meet and bring nutrients from
upstream, they bring new life
from others parts, diversifying.
the snow is melting.

I hear it coming, the visions steady,
these days intended to heal.
what a cyclical thing releasing old ways.
searching behind for whats next.
feeling around in the dark,
unsure of what is to be found.
what rests in the shadows.
who will be with me.

I know you will be there.
you will catch me.
as I allow my knees to give,
my sight goes dark,
my heart breaks open.
the light within blinding and burning anything near.
severing the past.
those moments of before.

theres something to my path,
this journey,
I am to surrender to my self,
the true me.
the one that knows you in everything.
the one that feels the strings of time.
the inner being.
I am to allow this to see.
to direct.
this has been validated.

the stars direct me.
they guide me, provide the inner layers.
construct the inner days time.
and I trust the steps they lay.
I will continually choose my light way,
aware of what the dark has,
I shine through. I pierce the womb,
I come through.
I absorb you,
I surrender.

it is quiet now.

when you reach out for me,
you grab my attention.
you let me know it is real.
those moments of clear.
purely cleared. where the fingertips
come in the form of pictures my brain
cannot ignore.
these pictures are attached to feelings of One,
and I hold onto these moments.

I think of them, under the vast blue sky.
how the mountains moved with me.
how the freedom felt in front of me,
beside me, behind me. I was free to roam.
free to chose which way, again.
those moments, these were the ones
I would reload.
it is quiet out there.

once, in the middle of no where,
there was a storm.
the lightening struck down all around,
my fists clenched the wheel.
the desire to go home was pulsing
through my knuckles.
I only moved forward.

once, in the middle of the winter,
there was a storm,
the snow blowed and the road
was inches thick in ice.
my fists clenched the wheel,
I felt free to live.
I knew life would meet me on the other side.
I drove slow, and allowed the embrace.

this gypsy soul knows no home.
its the road, the path of my feet.
the beat is kept by the breeze and the free.
to explore this space might be home.
the searching for the next new moment.
learning its tone, then on to the next.
leaving bits behind.

its so quiet, the silence might be home.
I would moan into the quiet,
piercing its peace.
low, slow rolls of me.
these are the points where creation speaks.
in these quiet, lonely places.
the voice comes out on the wind.
my heart breaks free, quietly.

and again,
the blue above guides me,
I listen and fall in love over and over and over...

Im at capacity
Shifting of space must take place
For me to be ready for more of you.
I wish to feel all your parts,
So I make room.  
You have faith in me,
I feel you.
Your grace are the arms that embrace me now.
Your wisdom is my guide
I listen.
My feet dragging a bit,
Though I know you're right.
New moments arrive, I will be found smiling.

I am plagued in self doubt,
It's been two years now,
The vibrations recently have been dim.
For so many days,
I've been working.
Slightly adjusting to the new songs.
They sound different when we stopped talking.
When I stopped trusting.
It's all about trust for me.
Romantically that desire clears when
I cannot depend on your word.

Two years we've been living here
Replaying the same dry tunes.
Repeats of how each hurt the other.
Recounts of the days, perspectives differ.
Finding less and less in common.
Feeling the distance grow.
Slowly then quicker.

These days now are heavier.
Too heavy. Too cold.
These days need to be released.
My home must be in peace.
I can no longer live in this.
I must take back the lead of my life.
My children follow directly at my feet.
My children make me feel so deep.
They kept me here for two years.
Of constant energetic war.
They pushed us to try.
We tried, it's now time to let it go.

Our health is weakening,
Mine is.
These days things are how it is,
There's no coming back from this
For me and you. We just need to move on.
Do this co-parenting thing like the Gs we are, and make a life for our babies
There's no other way we can all make it.
I must breath again, regardless of what I said, I can no longer maintain.
And it is in our foundations, and up til today. Time to give way to new birth.
The 10 year is up, and our son believes I
Was born on the 10th of every month.
He's an antenna too.
They guide me, they know me so well,
I must pay attention to his tune.
Zeros and ones create anew.
It's the technique of the two.
It's the year for space.
Manifestation is being brewed.

And I love you, I always will.
These days I wish to be farther still,
Hurt feelings are raw, and I'm still confused by where my friend went.
Though men are wired different
And you lost your friend too.
It's why we've been doing this for two **** years! I feel sad for you.
And you believe I'll see you again.
Though you're so gone.

And I am thankful for the light.
Stand up girl, get up, let's go...
Stand up!

Some inner me...
You see this self value thing
Is absurd for this pisces.
It's based on the ego.
Since I was quite young i knew
All was the same.
My heart felt the same
For most I met.
There are a few who's energy
Instantly sets a tone.
Though, even then I see the gold.

It's because my soul knows
And communicates with me
That only loving me, is lunacy.
I am of a whole.
Love must be unconditionally.
Universally, regardless of what unfolds.
I must love you regardless...

That means no harsh words,
I apologize for those.
They exploded from my core,
That pitch black gut forced out
Low vibing soul.
Though I also felt these things were true...

Coming back around,
This whole thing is true.
We are pieces of one.
To focus on self love is blinding.
Overly valuing my talents
Holds little weight for me.
I know I am one of many.
Of us all.
I have faith each one can do
As anyone else can.
I have faith in all of you,
And me too. We progress.

I do undervalue this piece of WE though,
I have to.
Most cannot see this clearly
And find it a weakness.
Though its my path.
My victories will be for the masses.
For all I can touch with my energy.
I will maintain an infection of
Unconditional love for as long as my
Breath lulls. That sweet beat.

I love me. Just not more than you.
And I am thankful to see clear.
This is where you find my self love.