how much do I have to know
before I can write something down?

how much to I have to learn?
what does the university have to teach me?

what advice to I need to get from my uncle??
what article do I need to READ ON VICE
on what PRICE does the timing have to come through

and what method do I have to use
to make the right arrangement of flowers
in the vase??? what method do I need?

I swing myself around and dig through the ashes and look for alternative measures for more counting card brigades of clans and crusaders, teach me your blessings, and I will sit at the table and eye like a hawk, with shades on, the CLUE

give me yours and I’ll walk in a green

SUIT

wherever or whatever or for whatever reason, philosophize, come orignial, or not, ironically a mimic!  hear the cry of a raving lunatic? and he speaks some truth and his banter is a symbol of a species that needs to be watered?  where is the sense?  and the hatred, no not the hatred, the excess, the spoils, the soot, flows through the cracks in the clay ***

how many lessons?  
how many times?

how many guesses? play the power ball how  many

TICKETS
count them all, and **** around with advice

listen to Cuban, the man who flips businesses like burgers
listen to Cobain, who will sing his refrain take a drag of his cigarette and say something is great, in his particular way
listen to Christians, sing a long and live forever and that is Great, in their own particular way

questions
QUESTIONS
QUESTIONS
driving me mad, driving me to the absolute brink of insanity

and boy
is it

Delicious

stop trying?? what do you mean by that you old, dead *******, scoundrel!
whats your aim? where were you living when you wrote those ****** words!
what are you trying to pull? what cruel sick joke? What little passe last toot did you think you had in your gut? !
what kind of full bodied lack of thought thumb up nose remark! you’re wrong, or you’re too right!! graying hair, you ugly man, you elegant, beautiful man! !
stop haunting me! stop advocating your poison! Trechourous fuckerrry!
Troll of urban america, swigging down your swank, your swag, your style! Bahh! you don’t know a domesticated pet from an animal, you do not know of institution! You make your little assumption and laugh!
inhale and **** and like ice cream Ironically! Why would you see and then subject me? !
hahah I’m laughing really hard about it! That’s what you leave me with? trechoruous truth, mock your fellow poets, mark vonnegut, shut up you dead man! !
You would like an ironic joke, wouldn’t you old fellow! are you closer to god now? !
Triumph in your misery, and make a little makeshift idol out of it, and hold it up to the stink of the barlight, that pale chicken soup of sun seeping into your existence, and ******* out into a trough and lyrically blessing the underworld with new tounges. !
!
whatever man, !

character styles, characters we’ve missed

attempted to put on pedestals

characters whose wits got them out of the worst situations

or whose worst qualities got them into the best ones

who have been balding and have ended up heroes

who have overcome obstacles, some

some who had less and and achieved more

but achievement seems to be the underscore, yes

of nationality?  of pride?  of masculinity?  of assertion?  hard to say

do we need more stories in more forms or fewer stories and more individuality, more self-awareness,

awareness, awareness, awareness, funny word thrown around a lot

do people even know?  most of the time they don’t, they are staring down at their shoes

or some characters are looking up at the sky

anyways, they don’t understand the issue, what is at stake, stop celebrating!  start studying!

or you are studying too much!  the wrong drugs, the right drugs!  too much of the right thing can make anyone go insane

or the other way around, the right amount of the wrong thing can make anyone go freely about their day,  and

achieve, back to that word

and what does it even mean?  to achieve something?  greater than yourself?  for yourself to be a reflection of that thing? or that thing to be a reflection of self?  

man, we could debate about this for hours, where’s my coffee?  or beer, or wine, your choosing

man, what did I have for breakfast, I honestly forgot

or no, it was toast and cofffee, yes I think its time for a stiff drink now

and then another hour to achieve something, to write something, to widdle something, to create something that was not there before

but some say GO, **!! BA HA!  to hell with objectivity, everything is recycled, nothing more

and they wave their hands about as if it was borrowed from a magician, and their hearts flare up with some sort of richeousness, and they achieve…rightness?

back to that again…achievement…what does it even mean?

Time passing the clock ticking, tick, tick tick, the rattle of the water battle, the wobble of the support for my laptop, all working in tandem, oh, dreary delight of my god,

thank you for all you have blessed me with, my life has so many wonderful qualities that I get to cherish,

art and music and poetry are all so beautiful, Nietzsche would be proud about me doing it

there are people doing all kinds of things, and all of their lives have significance, there is a force driving them, beyond what we can understand

I indulge, I feel touched

Superb!  It's alright to take a few things for granted, but then I notice the little things, like the way the yard is centered, like the way my hair grows into the right place, like a girl I love reciprocates, and a few more things I don't need to mention.  But

The body floats over itself, occasionally, and

blah blah blah, today is okay, right?  

Yes, the right people say the right things at the right timing, and your love ones move in tandem with the rhythm of your needs, the rhythm of self

what I'm trying to say is, things are looking okay, and okay is a shield moving in front of a mind that is a lake of misfits, all trying to get on board a ship of understanding, and hey!  they all got their hands on!  even the most absurd found a way to hook their clutches to the side

and perhaps this feeling is fleeting, like so many other things, but then again, we have a magic ability to remember what needs to be rememberd, and the people that love us remember, too

to be comfortable with ambiguity, is probably the greatest blessing of all...

to not need to write is probably an even greater blessing, when the porch and the sunshine contain all the answers in the universe, space and time stand still, the news is on a paper that is small or on a television that is turned off

stability, my friends, is all I ask for, in this life,

and I am content with that

Care to have a think?  I thinking not, thoughts through fixations

flick a cigarette and lick a split, you savaging *****, sensitivity of a ****

Come wardrobed with me in Narnia, waking with fixed hats, Wonderland, Haunted by petty notes, humorous haunting, actually amusing
slaving over the machines, slaving over the rides,

I ensure you, I know how to have a good time

Raging with rambunctious rugrats, pleasant and fun, consuming hours, forgotten hours, fantasies are magic, to forget is perfect

love of saggatarius?  love of Scorpio?  Jupider and Mars?   your words that you thought meant something burn up in the wind, after a long bonfire, burn the ones we thought were vain, it all came from the same well, frame  them all,

frame all of them, in my haunted fantasy

Power
and the desire to be a good person
and how they flirt with one another
in a house surrounded by a cylinder
it is blue
and it has an echo echo echo
and boy does it want to scream
love love love
possessed by the elderly and the ******
possessed by blessed and doomed
it
this flirtation
is delicious

Today, without a doubt, best in a while, woke up easily, drank coffee, talked to girlfriend, stability

processing power, delays, high octane fury, filtered through a glorious glass hole, gaze and wonder with me, I'm somewhere that seems to be..further away, it was all allowed to happen, I took control of it, or I let it go?  Honestly that thought perplexes me, I don't know, a whirl wind I'm on a spaceship, reading to roosters, letting them give their crow,, allowing them to breath in deeply and cough where needed, its connecting on a stream, and the stream is nice and easy, It understands what it has control over and what it doesn't, and I'm giving in

or maybe that isn't what is happening, the mind can be deceiving, if all this time spent with work would merit that the work be good, I wouldn't have a problem at all

but work must turn out to be decent work, so on we trudge, a walk of desperate, terrifying shame, humility, plays with modesty.  To appreciate art is one, but to identify is another, seeped in a cauldron of subjectivitities, no more like miccrochorsims, exploring their own roots deeply chaotic, deeply beyond, anything, I, understand.....


this is the stage where I am allowed to write poems about being a poet, because I am a young poet

hangs in the clearing
of time
unstuck
as vonnegut would put it
I sometimes imagine that
and I
am born again

I leaked little house, flipping and spotting out tiny little words, little fragments of possibilities, in the resonance of a cello, in the ever growing weeds between the sidewalks, shoe laces, crushes, freckled faces, ahhh me, a small thing to remember, a walk down the street!! a walk, seemed leaps and bounds, of that thing@!!! why that thing?  Why memory?  Can they be washed away , spittles little bits of *****,

ahhhh, ahhh long lonely night, of heaps of green, clean, watered pipe of decency, reflections, necessities, degrees of truth and reactions, sharpening of lenses, pointing out and covering up flaws, accentuations, ahhh ahhh long longly me

ahhhh burst, ahhh inflate, to tumble over when not levitating off the ground, to fall off the bride with dirt on knees, and to emerge with a different walk, a different attitude, ahhh lonely walks, not necessarily of abandonment, of priceless cheap desire, however a feeling consuming and leaching to burnt toast and milk in the morning, itching, itching itching, and itch?  

Ahhh lonely night, little bits of discs, little bits of discs?  I don't remember which, screen, don't remember where thats been, who left it?  gone?  is it on? input cable one?

Ahh lonely night

I leaked little house, flipping and spotting out tiny little words, little fragments of possibilities, in the resonance of a cello, in the ever growing weeds between the sidewalks, shoe laces, crushes, freckled faces, ahhh me, a small thing to remember, a walk down the street!! a walk, seemed leaps and bounds, of that thing@!!! why that thing? Why memory? Can they be washed away , spittles little bits of *****,
ahhhh, ahhh long lonely night, of heaps of green, clean, watered pipe of decency, reflections, necessities, degrees of truth and reactions, sharpening of lenses, pointing out and covering up flaws, accentuations, ahhh ahhh long longly me
ahhhh burst, ahhh inflate, to tumble over when not levitating off the ground, to fall off the bride with dirt on knees, and to emerge with a different walk, a different attitude, ahhh lonely walks, not necessarily of abandonment, of priceless cheap desire, however a feeling consuming and leaching to burnt toast and milk in the morning, itching, itching itching, and itch?
Ahhh lonely night, little bits of discs, little bits of discs? I don't remember which, screen, don't remember where thats been, who left it? gone? is it on? input cable one?
Ahh lonely night

makes his way down the street, doing just fine, carrying himself around, without a sense of purpose, like gumbi, like jello, just a minstrel, plays the key here here for this this and the key there there for that that, unpopular, unimpressed, dealing with that, dealing with that, senses of inadequacy, where is that stemming from?  why don't I feel powerful enough?  and at what point would I reach enough power to be satisfied?

Refreshing the senses, I know why your are after, sexuality is all around me, and you absorbed into your own measures but yo know better, it's deafetest language and yet you ofollow along, it's numb and it's nice and it's meant for every human to experience, take it up with your nearest farmer, he'll cultivate your next ufeas, blossoming into ale thing that you don't understand but is growing at a rapid rate, you have control and then you have none, you just watch to build up the bride to blow it all up, going on a grind bewat that suggests I am in a skin that is separate from my own, I want to take some sort of way away from mused, but it seems like I am forced to I this responsibility? Do you read enough to make a judgement, just Jen your thoughts your theory would hold up? They fall between the cracks, you don't care much about anthro by about conveying this to as many as possible, they want to keep you in the right directions l, however the efforts are scarce, you are left in a huge surround led by turrets, and they fire and raipdi rates and you choose to duck for cover

Or am I socrates?  do I play socrates with myself?   is socrates a genuine soul or a total *******?  would I win an argument,  I am fascinated to make his aquantence over beer, where he may stare into space for awhile before asking a question, and that question is a question, and I pause, with nothing to say back, would we just go on like this?  asking arbitrary questions until one of us got drunk enough to leave?  I wonder

to recite something
to let it be in your bones
to let it exist outside of yourself
to let it mulch to let it dwindle to let it begin
and to let it roll over
and to let it slip
and to let it die
and to let it roll around in a ditch
and to swim and scream and roundabout
and to control and to gag and to conquer
and to mistake and to make gate and to stand on the top of the curb
to be ahead of the game
to be moxy, merry, maybe just stay the same
imbicile working for a penny a day
while another man in the corner makes marmalade
I’m bouncing, happy, glamourous gratitude
going on around the stratosphere making my own career out of solitude
masked in a gag of reddened retina on display with buddah
large intensinal malfunction on the way towards the retina
the eye, the eye, the eye, the eye
and some may type as quickly as I
and I do dare to challenge them to a duel
as I will take them into the second round
away from it all, away from it all
and down the dark ages crawl, crawl, crawl
and make it work for others to do the draw, to do the draw, to do the draw
and make copies of music on top of another musical entrance music entrance music, entrance, music
make a case out of stereotypes and continue on your own way
inventive and invigorating and invested and afraid
loving and simplifying and hating the mystery
the beauty
the absolute majesty
keep me in check and keep me more for the moon
and I’ll go along to the race track with old hank
and swoon and swoon and swoon
ride the horses
on the way to nowhere
and they will glisten
in the evening sun
and lay out on their own
and lay out on their own
and become what has never been done
and become what has never been done
the ****** is full and perfect
and then the fall is back down
and laughter is part of the question
and it all goes down like that
boom, boom, boom boom
and then peace
easy thought process
a deep breath
growls
beautiful growls
and laughter

Sit and watch the young children begin their lives with a performance
In union square
Posing for a picture
It's so cute
And the onlookers sit on foldibg chairs
And let their lives be of selfless significance
The children dance and yell
And they know life without consequence
Oh just to witness it!  Take me back there
Let me sing too
I sit and smile and sip coffee
Race, gender? No, hugs
The clouds know embrace , the sun peaks behind them
The evening is clear and cool
There are sweaters but no shivers
Hugs!  What joy!
I'll be silly, I hold myself open
Protected elegance
Fear, wanting to be a catcher in the rye.  No!  No need to fear
Make faces, shoulder knees and toes
Am I getting it right?  Oh my heart melts!!  Concern dissipates like their confidence dissipates, feelings omit and pass without suffering
The pigeons search for food indifferent, however nobody chases them off
Micachael jackson and all of his beautiful qualities,
Oh and order, anything but order, no no no not numbers
The stone pillar in the center reads of the Spanish war, oh who cares
Joyous evening no wit necessary
The ancient tradition of watching over our children

so what, she wants to try to be objective?


hurled insults, but rooted in

knowing

your knowing is rooted in

chaos

Subjectivity? Objectivity?

Fine, just fine

sit at the table over a glass of wine

and sip, sip, know

knowledge, in little droplets

drips off the balcony

oh, I guess that was that

Masterful ownership, I am lost between cards, the green table, set and speckled, distracted by the colors and forgetful of the number, exploitive, love the spices, and aggressive, and tired of being bullied, fragrance chasers, chortling in remarks blase in cafe's I'm meager minded but with fortunate background, I am spoiled but somehow burst from the bubble, some sort of rodent stuck out of time, letting the chemicals do their work, like dousing a cheetah in kerosine, just most toxic and full of rage, spotted and dying, closer to living without restraint, devoid of taste, my fears overwhelm me, driving me, my own secufled

Is drudgery
fixated in time, unkept
mixed mockery
television shows
and showers, bath tubs
the sink, its flow
Facebook info
no lines, no purpose
no therapy
just drink, the woman
the fan

statues standing attracting, what of pose?  what of character?  what of beauty?  


why of symmetry?  that is the most perplexing, to fathom symmetry, to be able to understand it, draw it, how come?   Why doe things seem to work out so perfect?  I wish I understood it better

Darwin says this this this this this
so did jesus that that that that

bullcrap

signed

muskrat

I am addicted also
to the poem
blowing a sentiment bubble
they fly overhead and I like to
catch them in my hand
with the right amount of suds
they sit there, bublbous as ever
and they shine against the sun
and I admire their beauty, and then
as a wizard
I let them float away
once
again

is not supposed to mean anything

it floats like a bubble

and then it pops

and there is

wonder

and then its

over

always trying to prove something, to neself, to the universe,

to the person down the street

ehh purple hair and fractional tennis *****, then

lead the plastic barriers,

remember the number

ohh saintly hell, I feel like the callous on my feet are even stronger than last month, and this walk is jazzy

so I go about proving the gods, or some diety, that this is, infact, tanglible...artifact to be exact

proving it to the widow who fancies the conversation more than the content,

proving it to pine needles who know they willl fall in two, three days, anyway


prove it to myself, and my toes, and my eyeballs

red flesh and bolstered blood,

can I have a candybar for sixpence from the richardsome magician in the sky?

no, he is occiupid with tobacco candy and the home baseman is comalainging about his peanut pickings


If only I was a kite, then fate would truely be out of my hands, and there wouldn't be any more reason to feel proud,

perhaps tied to a tree for an eternity, perhaps confused bewtee the medeterranean sea and south africa,


who could i be?

placed on the counter a letter of acceptance, for my brother, who I suspect my mother favors

a letter which I've already had, which is now in the past, and now it is his turn to take a chance

and I sit and ponder, with my wine, after showing...spite, in spite of myself

hating myself for not speaking highly of him, confused about how it is I can emerge, knowing that there is something inside of me burning, but the energy does not run on love alone, no, I rely on their support

bothered, hopeless, a prince, nothing is my own, the son of PHD's, working everyday, heavily, work as a way of life, climbing fossilized into the very spirit, the bone, the bone, the bone, to pursue or to desire something other than the hardest of work is frightening, is unknown,

an artist supported by business, working in tandem for years, perhaps the two couldn't work without each other, art in its arrogance and business in its modesty, or perhaps the other way around,

even a site called hello poetry, what of its business?  I am not sure, what of its profits?  not a clue, they could be benefitting off of every word I write, but I depend on their site to project my bits, my uselasssfullglossful sentiments, with notes at the end that gives one an opportunity to be fabulous

fabulous, fabulousness, entry, entress, prince, looking up at the twighlight, rescued by nothing, a rebel with something to lose, a bourgeois without room for entitlement, entitlement being the reward of bourgeois, or perhaps education alone, I can be grateful for

which brings me back to that acceptance letter, and my feelings of spite, then I spat, and I want to confess tonight, that I regret that

practice, bare with me

seasonal, suffering, maimed, buttt better than dying, tarnished, one high sticking out begging for life, bowl, better off with cereal, clean which, with..... 1, 2, 3, 4 ,5 ,6, too many, I should probably quit...

a stoic, I am, meant to be

passing by slowly

long times spent gazing out the window

the snow on top of the adjacent roof wouldn't know

I am a stoic, but less noble

tilt the head back and let in, let in,

what needs to be dealt with

decisions, decisions, plainly, dealt with, all the same

a stoic, remember my name

an alleyway croquet mallet
has offed me aside the cheek, mom
and hallow I ruse and relish and weep about it-
carrying the decaying,

I rush to greet certain death, only to find more construction sights
and cars, bothered by their metal and their enormous frames

and my cynical attitude, i know, turns no light for decent people

making invaliuable clauses out of merit heat, and I fear

out of rational and simple,

that I may have exchanged my promise for plea,

I ask the gods and my mother

of such a night like this,

that I may go in peace?

through this one,

at least

Stuck to their thoughts, the quiet dealings while the world restlessness exposes itself before their eyes, and they do not flinch, there is a fear at the fibre of New York City, the ananymoty keeps one brave in their singular ways, just a scratch, just a droplet, without considering one another, exchanges at the counter kept short, exchange a few wads for cheap goods that will last a while, that happens to be my style. Astoria queens, where the colors don't mesh together quite right, taxes, payroll, bookkeeping, lots of wine, novelty next to 99 cent, cars crammed at the intersection, baffled in the brook, crammed in the nooksc the books are protected by a sheet to keep out the rain, at the corner there is a man going insane, city living, the expression, nothing's good, but can't complain, dotted taxi cab advertisements, launching a career, launching an attitude, launching a party, we can do business for you, step right in and see keep my business card hardly an issue, hardly the matter, coffees crummy, coffees not so bad what's the matter with you?  Emotionless, dreamless, left to the lights and sleepiness, a work day, a day of pay, churning out a penny at the end, churning out dollars that we can spend a loss of security for a good, or perhaps an investment in a future security, the city wish it could do it all for you, Astoria queens, sewn together freakenstein American Dream

If

wish

and simple as that,

a twist...

even a poet could not resist

an orange peel

with their

iced tea...

the smoke from a hundred chimneys

and the rain from a thousand storm-clouds,

a city made of iron and brick

were we fooling ourselves to begin with?

If wish,

if only

and what's to be done next?  

simple as that,

and this twist?

(an elevator that goes to the moon

is even more irrisitable

to a fainted heart novelist)

ahh, a crafters fortune and vision

a grip on a tether ball, a step on a tight rope walker

falling forever into city

thought about a few things, didn't care to write them down

botched a performance tonight, so what

indulgent, indulgent

the life is not really about me, this thought

gets me through life, I think, it is the poet in me

understanding that my life is of little significance, actually
'
learning to observe without judging
the random cocktail of nerons firing

maybe I went through it to quick

Alan Watts gave this lecture on worrying, and he talked about worrying about worrying , and I just thought to myself, what if there is no self, and our only purpose is to worry all the time, so we may create plastic for gods purpose?  

but seriously, what if there is no self at all, and there is will to power, what if there is nothing wrong with us, how can the cynical be both uplifting and depressing at the same time?  because it is selective cynical, because those who understand move through life easier, get what they want more.  The self the self the self, honesty has its own reward but big stories have greater endings, I like to watch them with popcorn

rantings, nothings, I orinally didn't want to write any of this down, but I had to, stupid stupid stupid, going down the road of halloween logic

I feel like adding in my own little melody
with a black hawk heaven diving down the butterfly
with a shockwave central beating at the art of a dragonfly
with a *** tim tim to my aching heart that sinks below
when I hear of damaged goods on their way to my feet
when I hear of damaged goods on their way to my feet
and I pick up a handful of sand, and I walk down the beach
and I look up, my hair is in curls and it is soggy
fluff and stuff and I'm carrying sea shells
the shockwave at the center of the body
beating itself, beating itself

love, overwrap, over double, double wrap, bubble tape, put me in a  cardboard box and send me to wherever, it doesn't matter!

in my brows!  getting wet in the eye!  snow ride, snow day, ice skate, hats

fiddling my shoelaces, I cannot tie them!  the zippers are just shiny, just shiny

Love, in my coffee!  I'll take cream today

filler doesn't matter, filler can make thin men fatter and happier

love, the filler, fill my day

I've encountered cruelty from others' that has caused me pain


usually surrounding something I did, something I said,

I wish that I was better at navigating the signs, what to do--- what not to do....

sometimes blinking your eyes too many times means insecurity, or dehydration, or irritation

sometimes you choose an article of clothing that disagrees with another' sense of security in this cruel life

sometimes its just your hair, or your stupid face

I don't know...I wish this would be resolved.  I have.


a deep, unrelenting desire to touch everyone, to see everyone

maybe it's sick.... maybe I am a hedonist

subscribe to masochism

sympathize with the devil, or the executive, or the wrong crowd, the right crowd- conformist

pretend edgy warrior with a cannabis sword...a vocal sword

I wish that I could give people flowers...I would earnestly enjoy that.

however, I know the repercussions may be overwhelming...

flowers... why not orchids?  flowers???  why not strawberries.   Flowers?   why not dinero, dab loons... that what I need

I don't know...

I want to know every error within myself and fix it, like its a plumbing system or a series of strings that creates a harp

perhaps if they were flawless, then everyone would just love me


I would be complete, there would be no harsh realities, or painful rejection

if only, if only if only

sCRAP WORK *******!!!!!
HAHAHAHJAHHAHAHJAHAHAHJ



BLAH BLAHB AHALDJFAKDFJADFKJAKDFJADKFJA

once more messages of fury, eyes in blinking disaster, forming at the ops, their eyes are rfixated at an angle, your demise is near, people walking and ******* and loving and spitting and droning and sounding...sounding sounding sounding, sound like lots like lanters of disease corrupting to poor insects just trying to get their ******* buzz!!  may I forgive?/ may I devieve? who are they, and what are they made of?  yohy dpn/t know what it means to exist, your are in with what consists, you have he gears and the correct melody to the correct tune, you follow about you let the little rubber in the wheels drives themselves to eternity, you pull your **** spike out of the fire, you knew it all along and you let your hair down, the morals were hidden in the messages all along, its a great little conspiracy of little significance yet something you've been trying to figure out all your life

enchanting!  take my family and our end of the day, the penetrating orange, just seen over the trees, sink into me, my restless feet, bouncing around looking for the next song, I cannot compete with your elegance!  your perfection!  seep into the sleepy lives of silicon valley and help them rest after a long day of unnerving, dropping, droppings, set backs, camps to get across, new days ahead, help them sleep ribbons, help them sleep

signed,
seany

Cold, savory, watery, long nights, blah blah blah

do one and then eagle, eagle it out, extended body, proud body, better body,

spread, spread like can't believe it

ate late te  ca tate

savor with character, meaning don't drink and drive

beer, cold, beer, yes

man, beer, cold, stoic, stone

battered, battled, tender living for, dying for, kratos and all of his gore

beers one hell of a *****, loving it more, confident and barley off limit

drink at 16, away with questions

Questions quietly dissipate, questions fly out door, drink given by gods for celebrate, sadness, sigh,

some do do do some don't don't don't then make group AA why why sway sway more more support support spokes spokes can't quite nicotine quit no smote mote vote, find given god chance

some go until the end of time, merry, fat, fine

beer, lovely, bubbly, headache, heartache, attack!! woah, take it back

Guiness with eggs at breakfast
pale ale with serious males
cider with lovers
gin for expression
whiskey for metal
wine for Bukowski, ******* his beauty, soul, ****, ****
Heineken for pretentious men


One more, again

I'm on the subway
Now
Thinking about poetry
How it moves through the membranes
And makes me dip my head in the sink
Cool water against my face, the streets have been turned on to me
I guess that was hanks way of saying
I'm a bad boy just by virtue of reading his work
And I hope that is true
I'd like to be a wild vulture
Silent, stewing in the miraculous discovery of it
I'd like to wear my leather boots with pride
I'd like to be a snake fighting with a hawk and sting his way out, slither away, indifferent to death
There isn't anything standing in my way, really
I am wearing the James dean jeans., and I've got my head crooked down slightly with my forehead furrowed

Yeh, today will be okay

conflit here and there between speakers and non speakers, miscommunications, over matters that do not really matter, the popcorn kettles pop and the dry salt is tasted on the tounge, in the meantime words fly and they fall flat between the cold concrete, the cold, house, the cold glass of water at the hand, attempting to keep moving,

then silence, song, approval

a bond between one and another, sinking in my back and curling through the stomach, pouring out the front, pouring into champaign glasses, on and on and on, at a party with different kinds of hats.  wishful thinkers, doing what they do best, making conversation that is pleasant, without a worry in the world, a stitch in the fabric of time

this group of people, have their white cloth and their pretty talk, think themselves the center of the universe, and why shouldn't they be?  the words have meaning, and the theories discuss take on a myriad of expressions and history

and at the same time, in the same instance, there is poverty, what of that thing?  clay pots and water that is cherished every day, brought in the daily bucket, brought in with heartbeat, heartbeat, heartbeat, drum drum, drum drum

A system systematically serenading itself with rhythms changing clockwork calculated nonsense

indifferent to itself, fluctuating frequently, standing still

quiet on top of an owls den, hooting its own demise at the wrong time

pass it on?  keep it alive?

drum, drum drum, time, time time

Ride!!!!! What's here where am I going oh man cheer for all those biking yes yes yes oh yes!  Held my head up, and working legs kicking tight and free release done done done stop for coffee but not to drink but just to have, to think in, let me ride my cruiser to my death

I love being weird!  I do zig zags, Rush through Main Street!! Lightning yes yes yes take me there!  All body, liberation salvation!  Oh numbness of spirit!  Looking up and hearing voices, I am of stone!   Yes!!!

but intense, to the scorpio, to a capital S

where is it all going?  where am I ending?

burning eyes, burning brows, expressions add up

looks, mirrors, goes, in

battle with myself, sin

needed help, got it, needed numb

got it

folding over the balcony of expression, the generation of honesty can discover malleability

and the music turns religious

again

and the dancing becomes formal

again

how will that happen?

time, it tells