a storage unit meant for all kinds of arrangements

mostly quilts and toys from residents who didn't want to bother, even with the junk people...

or didn't even really have the money or time to move out properly

they were arranged, all like this...

the quilts, dusty plastic baby boosters..

more quilts and used beds,

and then there was a guitar...

and a pair of running shoes- i opted for the more colorful pair

I depart the unit,

I've got an axe to grind...

my arms and legs, motionless, extended, floating, ahhh, with friends, in a canoe, rowing rowing rowing, the noises coming from everywhere, eventually upstream, moonbeams, the silences filled with the occasional boom boom, the jealousies, jealousies eating up my insides, but still my head extends out like branches, folding in with one another, thick and matted with bark, with birth, tattling over the spokes with claws, breathing and dipping into a pool that is freezing, let me start with something new, with a machete, cut the twigs that are dying, I collapse a vessel, stuck out of time, reaching for the next high, churning in my gut, home made ice cream, too thick to ingest, too light to cut

Blue dream

I’m darkness

With wine

There was a point

Where the room stood still

A so did the trees

But now the traffic picks up In the background

The rabbits heard something

And the wind...it says shiloh, go West


Now I wish that I wasn’t so burdened

With the choice to go down two different streets

And burdened with time,

It’s being, in my veins like blue ink and making its way up to my brain to be wrapped in neural tubes till it drains cool aid from its corners.

I wish that a maker like Viggo would cast his pen that says Oscar and float down his invisible warrior chain for drama, ransom


The walks I’ve taken show that the branches supporting the local homes are well watered and well kept, construction
Sights and signs of prosperity

alright, and with that I step into the next intersection,

and check my blindspots

I went through a length where I did not write,

I feel like how some poets feel, when they really feel they don't belong anwyhere

Charles Bukowski would say, "like your jacket, have a cigar"

and dylan would earnestly, yet directly ask "how does it feel"

and I'd probaby land on top of keroacs dusty hotel room, listening to bluetooth jazz

reciting allen ginsburg at the northwest point.  yeah.

lay a ray,

lay a ray,

lay a ray

breathing fire
dreaming the horrific dreams
spending days a sponge, emulating
MULCH
TAKE
SPIT
picking at the sobbing satyr that is begging to be
Plucked
stirring up the soft drink and making it
too hot to touch
MINE
TAKE
SPIT
or shall I go?

NO

never, I lift, I am a winged animal, heavy as a pig
dragging on the end of one long spliff
I spit
WHIFF
I'm IT

so here I am, fantasizing about tapping howard stern on the nuts swiftly with my boot

when I realize, it is four in the morning, and that's the hour between hours,

it's not three, three...you go to sleep and its fine

five... you say i'll just stay up and greet the dawn, why not?

four the one, the hour, things make sense at this hour, its strange

the audition  is a....football throw through a touchdown post covered by fog and faces of loved ones

and the white room extends, there are no ultimatums, and there is just listless eternal non existence- as in....existing

and, I don't blame anyone, I have a few things that are okay..

I wish for more... I yearn for something that I cannot have

and seedlessly jaded with hot coffeee

I'll be alright

I sit here
and try to figure out
what the next thing I am going to say is
i don’t know if it is the history
or I don’t know if its the signs from the roosevelts
being who they were
making decisions
and I don’t know where all this capitalist conundrum comes from
but I’m obsessed with beauty
and the way it works
I like to study it
and understand my figures
and understand my neighbors
and I am emotionally drained from work
but I am compelled
to continue doing what I do
and there will be things
that come and go
and make measures clear
and work in tandem with the fixtures overhead
and recite lines with the best who were out on a wing
and make love to circus freaks visiting their own visions
and liking the way leo works between films
and destroying art when it is ironic to do so
oh jeeze the way these things work
and they

are

just

broke

and

happy

blurbs, suburbs, writings, hasty tastings, fibres and frame, grilled, softened, appreciated, excruciatingly talented, genuis, hocus pocus spelled incorrectly, ironiclly, at the end of a misplaced magic trick, houdini in a fix and liking it, holden Caulfield with a girlfriend and a glass of champagne, mesmerized landscape architect workers tracing billions of samples and coming out insane, sane ****** monsters with no idea of where to turn to next, bottles of budlight, a crucifix,
misplaced, erase one memoiry, and another one emerges, out of a cloud, and it sits there for awhile, assured of itself, then once again, drops out of the race, a low bass chord, and the protagonist character takes a drag of his cigarette, and it’s all over

compelling you forward
compelling you backward
compellling you each and every way
and compelling you every day
and it works out
in this way
for awhile
and I feel
less afraid of things
and more willing
to make it all work out
in the end
with people to worry about
and consider
and the hardships of that
and having to be somebody like hank
in order to figure it all out
its a blossoming season
its a blossoming rhyme
rhyme great, small or treason
to the common good
to the common people
attempting to make their mark
on the droppings of confession
and making it interesting
for the past lives and in the future
and furnature
and wanting to make it in an existing place
and making arrangements with the many few who go about cursing and sailing
who make pictographs with negative lines running through them
then call in security when the measures are not falling through
its cemented in the logic and in the people
its cemented on the brains of idiocracy
and its laminated in fortune and solitude
and its mixing
calculated
clockwork
nonsense

Caltrain you reading running machine, eclipsing my dreams, anticipations of new girlfriends, roar you might, Belmont and atherton, mmm Thunder and I rear, pour, buttermilk old couty road, no oh man,

Caltrain whisper your extension, the next time, on a chorded phone!! Vintage!!  I like it, wrapped around my finger, you stop too many times but right now you ease my mind

creepy crawly critter, thats easy
needs necessity to keep up the heiress of kitty, now thats tricky
feline freaking over footsteps
faking  for curiosities fragile games
kittty, eyes distinct and dreaming
swagger with new dire absolute necessities,  
tail and trail, he she it
human, not suffering,
of curiosity, spice

Shooting counting, destroying stars, wanting to grab a hold of them, just in lit
d
filter myself, filter myself

just a child, trying to wear the cool sunglasses

wanting to wear the cool sunglasses

the look, the style, not of vanity, but of deep identity, cleanse me of this skin, what am I even made of?  

your shivering, let go, linens, linens

figures out for a few seconds, but they should all be floating, falling to the ground as little pass note slipper keepers, for the easy dreamers, cut from their wires, extending to reaching hands, just those eager souls dramatizing their everything, dramatizing the world, the love, the soul, the food, out to those ones, yeah yeah yeah yeah,

who I have to stick my neck out for, those those those, the most painful, to be a alive is to be animal, to be civil is to be human, but to be of passion is to be of hero, to be of hero is of inevitable loneliness

Catchy

what does it mean to be catchy?+++++++++++++++++  To be in tune with some sort of cultural phenomenon?  yes, I believe that is the reason
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
catchy, may come from some kind of tune, but there a lot of tunes, why are some of them catchy?  because of the way they are associated with some kind of emotion of the moment, I believe
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
the key to creating catchy is to understand the essence of the emotion attached to the phrase, then to skip hop over it, like childplay, to start from a deep philosophy then turn it into a joke

over wine

yes, oh yes_--

over wine___

the mind

is delicious

and life

is divine

lead me to temptation

you little bully of tequila, you're better than that, she whispered in my ear
and I decided to take it up a notch, that I did

and you hit the sweet spot for a little while and that is more than alight

take a large huff and puff and then win a game, you nectar ******* juicer ready to pounce on wheat bread, ha

lay it out and lay in on, lay the spicy mustard on the pastrami, please

please, and thank you, please and thank you

there's a song where they call them the magic words

and boy oh boy, isn't that a charming notion

Wish that I had a better napkin to wipe up this stain

As I wish that the tv would just take up the entire room, like a vaccum cloud


I will ride, with that each sound will forge deeper into my canal, and just leave me with nothing but leather threads and my jeans

Let me take a whiff of that apple, a tackle at this pear

Let my mind perish hahahah a

I want to donate a list to the obsidian preservation society

And in their name serve casserole for ppotiential donation


Donate thousands to make better beds


And millions for safer water

Yes I swear

Yes I sear

hunched, ready
out there in the field

rope, lassou, in the mildew

phrasseers on, I pass a wrench to a fellow comrade

READY

ON WITH IT

loaded and maddened with the birth of a new era

in the magazine moon beams

FINSIHS

FALL INTO THE POOL


THICK

in the underbrush

I’m SO READY

YOU HEAR ME!!?? SPEAK

I WAVE MY GENATALS AND FLY OVER THE CROWD

SCREAMING BORN INTO THIS

I”M THE MIMIC


OUT FOR IT I CRY

SWEEPING OVER YOUR MAJESTIES TOMB

AND OUT FLY THE FIRECRACKERS

its an outrageous scene of people
dressed in everything

taking off their

PRIDE> SKIN


THICK RIMMED GLASSES

UGLY PEOPLE
PREPEARE TO BE


in the EYES

of GAME

THE EARTH, THE BARK

IN THE CLIP

MOONBEAMS

FALL INTO THE POOL


SEE??? SEEE>>??????


SEEE????????


CLOWNIN AT MAJESTY
CLOWNIN AT MAJESTY
CLOWNIN AT MAJESTY
CLOWNIN AT MAJESTY

brewing a cup of coffee
takes time
and I sit, and I made love all day
and it was quite
refreshing
and we sit here, looking over
facebook posts and whatnot
and my **** is sore from *******
and I feel great
the coffee is brewing
and I will sip when it’s ready

content living, not too out of balance
giant sand bags either ends of the balance beam
weight, some sort of a weight, that I remember so well, that I focused on in the theatre, that I sang about and stomped my feet about, and received applause

Some of that energy is gone, and it can never be had back, some of that madness, some of that desire to ******, to die, to set everything on fire

gone now, too much to lose, to content, to full from the last meal, looking forward to more ***, another poem, perhaps

but then, then it was scribbles, it wasn’t even poetry!  It was pure madness, directly from the source, it was brilliant, I thought of myself as brilliant, that’s for **** sure.

and people would ask “what were you writing?” and I don’t remember what I would answer, but I was too embarrassed to say something poignant or ambitious or cool

Content living, when the living room is balanced
Synchronized, the carpet, the flower, the plant next to the couch, everything handy, the beer in the fridge, all fine, fine.  And I have plans to be a teacher, and that also is fine, and I might audition for things, and that is fine too, and Ilyse is beautiful, and I love my mother.

Normal, a normal man

so what is it now?  A wisdom?  probably that, yes

Interestingly enough, a city filed with intoxicating dress, yes, I like the chucks and baggy pants, no I do not wear it myself, but I appreciate the look, with the Giants hat, let me write you a vignette, techies tools talking bout tacky office gossip and girls they will never ****, bahaha and iPods ipods iPods fueling a sweet melody for the ride in boxcar boxcar. Yas yad yas

People going to and from work , quieter, contemplative, examining their tax returns, the hat pulled down straight

people, ticking, tocking, the images of content, staring up with amusement, the people talk of beer, of business, in seriousness, the pamphlets, the trends, counters, crawlers, beggars, in solitude, all of them

have


lovers, insecurities, mal adaptations, taking the drug that says that the life is alright, and thats alright

the little town looks so real to them, they, use the crosswalk, they, stop at the red stop sign, they, don't make eye contact, because their purpose is

to purpose, their purpose is their power lunch, a power lunch, of a sandwich, what of a sanwhich?  and what does that have to do with the urban life?  

the power meal, designed with purpose, for purpose, in chairs that are made for rain, in intersections made for walking, in red lights made for stopping

and aliens must be amused, by the order, the roots must be...facinating

Round we had he moment


moment, moment moment

closure clour closure,


I held him close and wiped his tear, occationally,

I helped buid his shlter, fine

don't you see the wall?

going from lake to lake...

help me understand this buzzing

this echo chamber, glee out of misery

******!  Hell!  OHOHHH

love, a chemical, love, chocolate

tresten tray deny defy, travesty trancending

******* bubbly bursting

interesting enough, a somba, met in march

making beauty, cellphone curiosities

Good times, good times, loved ones who made makers

dulce de leche, jive jive

boomering, blame, none, no no no, sake for sake, for curiosities sake, lots of that, a-floating, a wondering, a wishing

televisions pronouncing, ba ha ha ha
toot toot toot to that you old goat

love?  more, chocolate, dripping, ecstasy, dreaming, delicious!!

sentiment, sappy, taffy, the kind at the boardwalk, almonds, more, talk

tales, arcades, simple sayings, sorted out, soothing, sounding, surrender, the aesthetics, why why why, are they, projected, yet shunned?  

ugliness, the frailty, beauty, the majesty, why to all of these things?  

Ugly the, pronounced, the, proud, accentuate the, not nakedness, the, known, the pronounced, the political, in an undertone, understatement, no no no

taken up with projects of, bie bie bie

frail, your a ghost, with your camiseta, you're something else, go ahead and be

that something else, hahaha aha haha , smoke is clearing your lungs, fascinating, when the curious blends, meshes, cleanses your soul, why why why

bid farewell to your late fresh husband, he's off goodbyeing to power, which is easier said, power fresh in hands, power of statues standing time, however, power, loved by many, simplified with sentiment, body, release, taken over with the right mix, the right.... set


power, none, other, no, non, power, pulsing, bothered, hot, no

eased up again by mix, mix mix

cursed with the fear of monsters

I am monster

monster monster monster

I like it

Letters of old dancers dancing to music, touching undone turbulents, formulating makeshift sentences, releasing their fury onto the world, the saints who have done no harm but are forced to make all the decisions, delivering daggers, of fury, in their brass outfits, off iron loviung, of bows and arrows locking into the hearsts of men and women in the same place, of peopple, yes, of humans loving intimacy, of loving dominance and power and in acceptance, of superiority or infiriority, clowning at majestic paragraphs, that are meaningful then meaningless, that are gibber gabber, edgar allen poe, allen ginsburg, allen allen allen clowning in your ear get back there in a fury!  make of an echo and make out of a whisper!  and do and do and do

I changed the reaction time,


how a neutral makert, how a window breaks when nobody cares

how a flower market stays in business for ten to fifteen years

how'd why and whodunnit
here’s your rose


and the evening blends with the morning,

did you take that purity from me, bird who sings when I sing?  coincidence?

or did you take it from me, as I sang it…as you would steal my string cheese I had for breakfast


I paint the town with my poison, with my jacket, with my eyes, invisible

snap chat vanishment taken from the lyric of a turnover rap song,

I flip the krabby patty and it does…sizzle

so did you find your dignity?


Changed the reaction time, neo was struggling to work with trinity,

and of course, he was defenseless when it came to good noodles


the agents, well, they couldn’t stand the smell of gasoline and cigarettes

Letters of old dancers dancing to music, touching undone turbulents, formulating makeshift sentences, releasing their fury onto the world, the saints who have done no harm but are forced to make all the decisions, delivering daggers, of fury, in their brass outfits, off iron loviung, of bows and arrows locking into the hearsts of men and women in the same place, of peopple, yes, of humans loving intimacy, of loving dominance and power and in acceptance, of superiority or infiriority, clowning at majestic paragraphs, that are meaningful then meaningless, that are gibber gabber, edgar allen poe, allen ginsburg, allen allen allen clowning in your ear get back there in a fury!  make of an echo and make out of a whisper!  and do and do and do



Jolted, ready for action, body ready with a menacing pride, ready to unleash some kind of chemical, what kind of chemical, of brass of of object, some sort of metal recurring in me, let it go, release the fury, how to learn to let go proprery, let it go with some sort of a grace, doesn’t seem to be entirely possible, how does one really, really, let go?  exactly?  how do I know when my concioesnneseneses which I can never spell right is actually functioning?  when is it actually functioning at the proper measures?  I ask this humbly, as if talking to my therapist, who is thrilled with his PHD, who really really really wants to help me, and understand my disease, my disorder, where did this guy come from?  He’s full of grey hair and he knows nothing and everything and his advice is that of a weight which drags me down and sombers my tone, but is left a note in my boats prolonged brigade of bridges, bringing me back to basics

all these little things make sense in certain situations, but the intuition is the most deceiving thing of a lll, its completely in conflict with reason, but somehow the two connect and create  a though, nakedness, crossroads, a little thought, someone somewhere sees it, believes in it, calls for it, speaks, and, champagne glasses, toast, on, a moment, what for?

to understand, and to know when to protect, the greatest challenge

I accepted plea and promise for two-dollar chorus

perhaps my bargain is between two socal natives whom argued eternally with their voices

it would be humorous, a confused face and a distinguished disguise,


still a jagged faced bordercolie will understand how to open the cages at the right times....where are the mice and squirrells?  where are the pigeons for the crows (crows for mice) and hummingbirds?  

******, there ought to be birdfeed and dinner squirrels that bask in their breakfast by dining till the next full moon

emerge fat and insist on treadmills and marathons and kickboxing

only one can find such a annulment in shanghai's incense-filled withstanding structures, adjacent to the bank and mcdonalds

you will find a squiggle that keeps dissappearing down the sewer drains and sidewalks

it knows something, or at least contains

sulfites and antioxidants

this doldrums,

it mediates between being something decent, a memory that holds leftover leaves
a sicly stomach for other purpose than than to remind the skeleto, or the bony crawler.. that midnight is approaching and it is the hour to find the next shadowy reserve

this doldrums is where I simply lay in the telephone machine, since it is ticking anyway and I don't see the use in following the clock, or the bunny rabbit, or the heart, or what have- you

painfully contented and jaded, is my cigarette thin enough yet?

my wrist watch has stopped ticking, too

and I wear it anway

on classy dinner dates

dreaming away the night, one more pleasure, it feels like something relaxing while I am awake is better than sleep itself, because in my dreams I am always stressed out, running from something, trying to find someone,

my diet has been strange, I only eat when it gets late, something about the late night makes my stomach relax

maybe I really am a vampire

I wrote a few of them down, the Muskrat, now it all seems like a big joke, I kept a few of the ones that I thought were pretty good, kept about 20, wrote almost 200, mania driving my mind away, or maybe I'm destined to dig fast all my life, I'm not really sure at this point

Off into the night!!! Praise!  Off! Red lights and helmet!  Yes! Hahsha people here, people there gotta protect the noggin!  Hahhaha riddles are worthless unless sung by masters and picked up by servants!   Bahahah guiness is worthless unless poured slow and downed quick God ******!  Pour more more yes yes god ****** oh battles and craze, crazy night, be my puppy, wait in the car opposite and do what needs to be done!  Take it!  Windowed pup, smash it!

Oh la lee lah noticing those at the end of the bar
Some have it all figured out while others
Call for one more round
Bottles draft and straight up
It's all okay, hey! Hey!  I like this song, and me too, I as well, here's to going down, down. Down

The game is on
Games
I'll sip to that
Savor, or down it
I'm all about that
Whole or partial
It's excellent

One more on me
You've got the next one
We may be here today
But time is funny
And everywhere there is irony
So, you might be a part of a plot twist
Of whiskey ginger, sour, on the rocks
With a bit of lemon on the rim
Yeah, that kind of

Twist

the dangerous things
and the alright things
working in tandem
and making excuses
for one another
and following a pantomime
of absences
and destroying the future
and destroying the future
and loving the mystical shadows
and eating their hearts out
with limitless unlimited closures
and making skills out of profits
and destroying the grounds that stand beneath
then laughing it all the way out
and bringing bad luck
at the lunchens and the meetings
and feeling unsafe and uncomfortable
and being a winner or being a loser
or perhaps seeing a winner in the eyes
and understanding fear
and worrying about something else
instead
the long treasures of a circuit
eats is way to the heart of things
and let it be exposed!
let it be wild!
let it be dangerous
and alright things
and things working in tandem
and destroying the future
and eating their hearts out
and making skills out of profits
and laughing
laughing
laughing

Edit, one two three

Check, one two three

is it on?  Is it working

Edit, one two three

You still with me?

he's out there searching, a distance from my backyard, licking his paws, bathing his plush fur, he is of desire, I know him well, he is with Howlin wolf and they chain-smoke and laugh over bourbon together, he speaks in my ear and


rattle

the wishing wells eating up their spells, the mystery tour catching an early flight to greeece and ending up broke with no fishing tail to catch onto, mystery wheels of which way and rhyme a quick way to pass the time working on fishnet and fishtails to bring into a *** of good luck that can either be lousy or unimpressive and stupid the lovers cast their first spell and fear is driving them but its heading up to good luck, and the clouds are permissive, and they understand what they need to understand, and I’m not doing this for anyone but myself from now on, I guess thats just a decision that you have to make, and the precious fools who make an irony out of their vanity will be great too, and we will do a dance together, yes we do a dance together
I am a man that wants to do his best to preserve what is coming, to grant solitude and goodness to those that were good to me, I believe in a  God moving through things, controlling things that I cannot understand, because things are just too **** complex, working way soldiers on a ride to vacancy, vacancy, vacancy, oh just scribbles and random dots showing on either side of reading lot and loving the poetry and the history of it, and sometimes there is a movie, oh sometimes a classroom is a place to dream, to dream rather than to actually focus on the lesson, a random destruction of beauty, a random destruction of beauty, lovely forces making on a take out transition into fuller notions of equality, and loving their morality, and just making their decisions good enough to foster an excelllece, of equal stature of equal pride, moving through the ride, moving through the ride, and they all excel at what they can and cannot do, and he kept them still cool, and he could have taken the ride, but he chose not to, what of a hero?  what of a savior? what of a pastor attempting to take down everything that he has already established and coming up with nuclear error, pasting out the tangible worst of makeshift cranny acid truculent succulent brandy candy plans to see me jammy

hear a faint whisper
women walk by
and I feel
like a quiet man with
subtle mannerisms
even though I am truly
loud
I am a beast
with a roar, truly
I can let it out, fierce
And then it takes a hundred more years
to write something down worthwhile
and I am willing to wait, that, long

watch videos of me performing poetry

https://plus.google.com/u/0/115356065360543474720/posts

The different factions spreading, interacting, substantive stories vs news stories, elements of truth. That go behind the lines, turning through the streets, jerking around the wifi signals, you're in deep, the picture and the humor, sarcasm seeping into the minds, sexting the pope, letting him know, Jesus walks the earth again, documentaries replacing the text, it's combustion in a little tube, an extension, Realism somewhere distant in our heads, a dream of universalism we all woke up from, wanting to buy into the sensuality of modernity, all encompassing, petty glances from older strangers as we peer into our windows, flying miles away, the creative force of the nihilists who find God in escape

Regeneration-

In a perpetual state of educations, flaring neuron, confused and neglected, the Chemical reactions, the think tank, silence in the face of music, the life game with a set number of rules, the odd numbers muliply, divide, in my case the ones with the rancid breath who club to the other and make the third stay in debt

sometimes it is easier to laugh, and other times, its weeping, its complete falling down the waterfall, sailing on a little leaf , next to rats who eat my body, make commercials for cheeses, they have the hunger in their eyes and their pick their teeth with toothicks, hang back with their bellies full and watch the stars overhead, triumphant and warm, rats, clean as can be, straight out of a disney movie, their coats distinctive from one another, scampering down the way, always looking for realism, jealousy isn’t an issue, envy is motivation.  Ever lasting life.  hellish little rodents, swine, but honest.

can I lick the fabric, the flypaper, and hope that my tounge won’t dissolve?  crushing it with my fist, its something new, and I don’t understand that.  How do things tell stories?  Why do I continue to feel moral, even in the face of the most liberating hell, that speaks true to my rattling bones, what is the string on top of my head that levitates me towards the heavens, forcing me to believe, to give my body to it, to starve for it, to throw it upon gears, singing gospel and hating the lie churning in my gut, why do I repent when I know a closeted sinner is blessed as well

The chaos of history
Where we try to find patterns that quickly crumble, where fear of *** is a constant
Fear of free thought is constant
Regret after war is constant
To find organizations of prejudice under the euphemism of protection is constant
Inequality has been constant. I cannot think of a time in history where hierarchy has not existed. This doesn't mean it couldn't ever exist
Perhaps if our empathy was increased by our tools for expression, there would be more equality, if feelings were so out in the open that they couldn't possibly be ignored
That politicians lie for support is a constant

Given these constants, why do we continue to lament?  Because we dream of an ideal, somehow, because we are dis satisfied with what is put in front of us, because as scholars we criticize, why can't we accept?  The individual makes a choice to live for change because he sees the possibility, but he finds that his honesty is misinterpreted and reinterpreted by the ***** to fit an ideal that never was, that the maytr becomes inhuman, a lie of pure soul that was far from the truth of, how perceptions change naturally and the idea of change may be an illusion

That Gandhi did not liberate India, but rather shifted the tides in the right direction as a performer, a martr, that the liberation of India happened on it's own. That a man cannot change the world, but live his life in his own ideal image of it, which influences but does not actually change,

I want to run away from my own thinking
It gets carried away from me, and suddenly I am a victim, or perhaps my self pales in comparison to my emotion, like a small child gazing at the golden gate bridge on a dark night a he huddled in his think windbreaker, it is a hopeless cause, that emotion is as real as any rational thought, that there is no real distinction, the idea that everything is about *** except for ***, *** is about power, but emotion is not about power, it is from a scours that is beyond the animal, it is absolutely an completely human and alien to the natural world, I am pale to the comparison of this life, and my emotion drives my passion, and in my rational mind I am hungry for food and drink and for power, rationality, the animal instinct, that I fear death when I am rational, how pathetic and now time consuming and how completely undeserving of the following feeling of pervasiveness, that I am capable of anything and death is my fate no matter what my choosing, oh, I will choose the former every time, until my rationality dies, yes I will go gently into that good night

I weep and I beg, please take me away
I weep and I beg, please take me away
I weep and I beg, please take me away
I weep and I beg, please take me away

I got invited to do a poetry reading
and I'm really excited about it
we're going to try to film the whole thing
I'm in my prime, I'm ready to take on the world
as I sit
in my apartment
and await the next chapter

my mind wicked, my gut sickened with parallels

my heart sickened with


not willing to fight, held up in some sort of absurd

absurdidies, and powers adding up, having a voice, having a stronger voice than ever before

the stomach in knots, in knots

where to go?  how to defeat?  how to find?  encontrar?  don’t understand?

more beauty?  more virtue?  what exactly can I give you

the heart sick with mental illness, the heart anchoring into steam, into mercy, into help help help

not yours, this is mine, this is yours, do in time

love is true, love is smart, love is wise, or maybe not

some claim to have answers, but I am deafened, hit hit hit, loveer, lover, lover, hand it over!  now!  hit like jugular cancer, in the throat, no succcess, blown out of the river, blown out of the wayter, no turning back

my mind wicked, my gut sickened with parallels

my heart sickened with


not willing to fight, held up in some sort of absurd

absurdidies, and powers adding up, having a voice, having a stronger voice than ever before

the stomach in knots, in knots

where to go?  how to defeat?  how to find?  encontrar?  don’t understand?

more beauty?  more virtue?  what exactly can I give you

the heart sick with mental illness, the heart anchoring into steam, into mercy, into help help help

not yours, this is mine, this is yours, do in time

love is true, love is smart, love is wise, or maybe not

some claim to have answers, but I am deafened, hit hit hit, loveer, lover, lover, hand it over!  now!  hit like jugular cancer, in the throat, no succcess, blown out of the river, blown out of the wayter, no turning back


secrecy, secrecy, beyond anything we understand, behind backs

you're a spy, you're a communist, terrorist, haveyoumightcallit, whatyoumightunderstandit, outlet, let go of time, let go into the limitless pores, scores, scores, wins, only wins, or deaths, beheads, cutthroat cash collections, back to being broke again

you're through, you're in fever, fighting for life, fighting to see through to end, fighting for flight, only few days away but minutes, ticking by, hours turning to half days, turning to evenings, and the writings become even more menacing, silent standing ovations in spring

only for the kid, only for the man, the man, the man, the stimulation, for one more, one more, settling, settling,

holy one more holy holy please bless me, I'm drowning, its my mouth that wants to surface, with the flies,

none for you, none for those that dwell, you are *******

fever, fever in evening, in induced distress, put on the own self, put on without embrace, without surrender, muscles twitching, in the middle of night, disrupted, no humor, no seinfeld, no friends, no life

never finished, never done, a continuing one that wants to keep on going, that is hurting, that is immune to sarcasm, that wishes that it wasn't, wishing it could be closer to, rainfall
, wishing that it could be closer to release,

OF RELEASE, release me!!! I HELD your KEY

I've held it for so long, why must I continue to torment, suffer, why for so long?  hold me in your arms, embrace, to my core, I want to let go and sob, sob into the lap of time, its calling for me, as it has called for so many, why must I be depraved?  why must it continue on this way?

For ramblings, for a few toasts, taken from this and that, I do not pretend to be some sort of an original, I'm the muskrat, the pack rat who remembers just about everything, don't be so confident I won't steal from you, poor dear thing, I'm glossy and fresh and violent when necessary, contemplated evil, however sided with jesus for irony, follow for baby steps, inches and millimeters, confusion over systems, systems interacting, my fascination with inter-workings and word play, please, take a consideration.  Let yourself take a whiff of wide, whistling rings of time, leveraged by power from the gut, from a bowel movement, for me, often quite pleasant!  

Healthy and full-hearted, hacking at pretentions, though pretentious myself, making up new words, questioning the ones they keep making up, for their little webster, webster had a baby with google and their going to come out with wooble which wobbles on a stick that is sanity, there isn't a reason for your searches, misgivings, triumphs!!! no you flea, check the weather and then check back in with me

follow for diddies, I've done them all, song the senses pleasing themselves, you see, I've read too much Nietzsche, and philosophy is for the few though it influences the many, though they don't know it it crawls under their skin as a parasite disguised as aroma therapy, no, more like a prickly pine cone that pretends its harvesting majesty, philosophy!  BAH!  tyranny, majority, minority, factions, interactions, blah blah blah

I can be amusing, amusing in the sense of, forget where you are for a little while, that is my objective, to amuse, and while questions of power are more easily polarized, amusement is more chaotic, grounded in taste which is brought on by surplus, trust me I'm just getting started

follow for a friend, or foe, I like a challenge

signed,

Muskrat

POEM POEMM PEOME
TRUTH TRUTH TRUTH
BLAH BLAH BLAH

I WANNA SMASH SOME STUFF

A PICTURE PAINTS A THOUSAND WORRDS
BUT WORDS CARRY WEIGHT LIKE WAGONS
THAT TRANCENDS ALL IMAGE ALL TOGETHER

GO AHEAD, STEAL FROM ME

feeling in between, like no bubble can bring to the lips

conterfeit, lost in abyss, wanting so badly, want for a word that says, this
then grapple for eternity

stumble on stumbling letters, falling into place like a melody

existing in a moment in time, beat down and empowered, all there is to it, all there is to release it, all there is to compose!  to grasp!  Wait your turn that never comes

and I sit cross legged, with a  cup of coffee and I look back shaking my head, oh how far I've come, man here's to that

I ask forgiveness from my old dog, who I neglected...the poor boy is gone

****** stuck in muck, where can the process emerge, how can the subtlety grasp onto the big leviathan, allowing little particles of coconut goodness to sprinkle over towns, bringing a day of glory and joy

the power to forgive, between the auto-pilot of conversation, read out loud, pronounced as a competition!  

reverting back to that old way of sales pitch, selling forgiveness on the streets!  Tainted?  no, more like...genuine intent but lost in translation, lost in apathy, deaf ears, no

forgiveness, not to forget, but to make the personal decision, a selfish thing, really, to forgive yet never speak to the person ever again

I'll take a glass of that and raise you fifty

what I have control over, and what I don't

god grant me the serenity

acceptance, wisdom,

the difference

magna carta and raise me a constitution

letters upon letters suggesting what I should understand

the mind making associations, again, again, again

the limitless factors that go into any context, conversation

auto-pilot?  direct intent?  specific motivation?   impossible to really figure out

the neurons firing, and the impulses flaring

the body, the mind

is it possible for me to forgive myself?