I've encountered cruelty from others' that has caused me pain


usually surrounding something I did, something I said,

I wish that I was better at navigating the signs, what to do--- what not to do....

sometimes blinking your eyes too many times means insecurity, or dehydration, or irritation

sometimes you choose an article of clothing that disagrees with another' sense of security in this cruel life

sometimes its just your hair, or your stupid face

I don't know...I wish this would be resolved.  I have.


a deep, unrelenting desire to touch everyone, to see everyone

maybe it's sick.... maybe I am a hedonist

subscribe to masochism

sympathize with the devil, or the executive, or the wrong crowd, the right crowd- conformist

pretend edgy warrior with a cannabis sword...a vocal sword

I wish that I could give people flowers...I would earnestly enjoy that.

however, I know the repercussions may be overwhelming...

flowers... why not orchids?  flowers???  why not strawberries.   Flowers?   why not dinero, dab loons... that what I need

I don't know...

I want to know every error within myself and fix it, like its a plumbing system or a series of strings that creates a harp

perhaps if they were flawless, then everyone would just love me


I would be complete, there would be no harsh realities, or painful rejection

if only, if only if only