do you not understand
how to crack my spine
and read me like a book?

do you not know
what words to say
to keep my emotions at bay?

are you unable to find
the time to learn my language,
and speak fluently to me?

or are you simply
an empty shell of a
human male?

numb from
years of antidepressants
and being told what to do.

I will no longer wait
for the phase to pass.

I take my pinky promises back.

I never noticed
That history repeats itself
Yet you remain the same

Said the same about my past
As I say to him now

He was different;
Or I thought he would be,
But I turned out wrong

Made false assumptions
And woke to the blonde in my bed.
Loved him plenty for two whole years.

He is turning out to not be the one,
instead he is a repeat of thoughts in my head

You are the constant
You can walk in, but
At some point

You must quit walking out.

ink fades; paper grows yellow
around the edges of the letters you wrote.
I reread them and think of you;
and suddenly you reappear

It is the sun in February
that reminds me to not regret
coming to this coastal city.

It is looking at a blue sky
and studying on an
old brick patio.

It is feeling warmth on my shoulders
while knowing you are in
upstate New York, covered in ice.

It is a great feeling to know
I made the right choice,
when it comes to weather;

but the wrong one
when leaving you behind.

everyone writes about lying
from a different perspective than me.
I have mastered this art:
keep eye contact, and grit your teeth
stack lies up like books under your bed
make promises you cannot keep
turn around and go to sleep,
wait for the regret to seep
through the covers and
into your dreams.

being done means being

done.

being done:

it is
easier said
than

done.

being done means being

done.

being done:

it is
easier said
than

done.