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  Mar 2021 J
LJ
My mother was the one who took me to the hospital. I would've died if it wasn't for her. She blamed herself for not seeing it sooner... missing the red flags. I kept telling her that it wasn't her fault. She did absolutely everything right, but she won't change her opinion.
Eventually, she cried. I was laying on her chest, she was careful of the tubes when I climbed on her. I was half asleep when I felt the tears running down my neck and listened to her muffled sobs. I didn't know what to do in that moment.
My neck grew cold and my chest grew heavy, but I stayed silent.
  Mar 2021 J
nevaeh
how long have i been
letting myself drown
in good intentions
**** people really **** huh
  Mar 2021 J
Honeybee
I can still hear his voice
Telling me how worthless I am
I can still feel his hands
Over my throat
choking me
I can still see the blood
Dripping to the floor
From where he cut me
I can still smell the beer
On his slurred tongue
I can still taste the iron in my mouth
from where he would punch me repeatedly

I can still remember everything my brain allows me too
Whenever I see or hear something that reminds me of him
I immediately break down
  Mar 2021 J
Honeybee
I feel so
A imless
L ost
O bscured
N eglected
E xhausted
I’m kind of just lost right now
Like is there even a point in writing?
It’s not like it makes a difference in other peoples day
I kind of just want to stop
Not just writing but just everything
  Mar 2021 J
Honeybee
I’m just sitting in my tub
Not taking a bath
It’s actually completely dry
Just sitting
Thinking
Crying
I’m trying to write I really am but it’s really hard
When I feel like this it’s hard to even get out of bed
So I’m trying
  Mar 2021 J
ju
Want

plays in the shallows
at my edge

I rewound her
she is girl again, unknowing -

she hungers, and I feed her crumbs
she swims, and I pull her back

I can’t have her grow strong -

not now
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