My Demons are trying to taunt me mum, I constantly feel them pushing through. Maybe it's caused by the way I feel, maybe it's because I miss you.

I miss you every day mum, with every beat of my heart. Although I always knew the day would come, the day we had to part.

I never thought you would leave so soon, I wasn't even 30 and you were gone. You never should of left mum, it's here where you belong.

You will always hold a place in my heart, please believe that this is true. Ill always hold a happy place, I can go to think of you.

I cannot seem to grieve mum, nearly two years I have tried. My pain won't seem to get easier mum, it's still as sore as the day you died.

I wish I could stop the pain mum, and just remember the great memories so true. Of love and laughter and dancing round the house, the crazy times just me and you.

I'd love someone to help me, make the bad thoughts and Demons go away, and help me focus on the good memories forever every day.

There are days I have good thoughts, from memories over the years. The ones that make me laugh and smile, yet still bring me to tears.

Before I go on I have to share, a few memories that make me smile. One's that help me through a bad day, even just for a little while.

I remember snowball fights in winter, back walking in the summer. Coming home soaked and covered in mum, then going back and doing it over.

I remember you shouting and laughing at me, soaked and covered in mud those days when I came home. Making me sit outside til I dried off, looking like a little garden gnome.

I remember being in Scarborough and walking with you and dad, making sylvester speech sounds making you laugh so bad.

I remember you lent over, laughing so hard out loud, those days we had were magical, u always looked at me so proud.

You're other little girl is getting married mum, I can't believe it's true, she knows you will be there with her mum, she really misses you.

She knows you will be with her, when she walks down the Isle, she knows you're there in spirit mum, watching with pride and a smile.

I'm trying to push my life forward mum, I hope that you can see, and when the day comes that I get married mum, I hope you are there with me.

I'm going to write off now mum, i really need to sleep, ill see you in my dreams mum, with the memories I keep.

Goodnight, godbless, sleep well mum.
I love you oh so true,
Sending love and kisses to the stars,
Sent from me to you.

I love you mum xxxx

As I lay here, ****** on the battlefield, dying in the rain, the mist is setting in.
I see my brothers and sisters further into the battle they run
Whilst Òdin appears before me,
I hear him say "come on sister, your time is done"

I see the light fading, Odin holds out his hand, I proudly take my last breath, and leave for a better land.
I see a beautiful place, filled with brothers and sisters, I've never seen this place before but I know where I am.

Valhallah is a beautiful place, brothers and sisters all around me, I look over all of you whilst you're sailing across the sea.

I will meet you all again one day, we're all here waiting for you, just like Valhallah waited for me.

As I stare ever so carefully, the darkness never ending stares right back at me.

The heartless world clings to fake, ideas and dreams I no longer make.

My world shredded and torn apart, attached to my world so was my heart.

I lost feelings and became so numb, blissfully ignorant of future times to come.

The smile on my face, forced and faked by me,
Stopping me screaming out "I Want to be Free"

Like a shadow in the nigh, invisible to all, The darkness awaits me when I fall.

The roses are wilted,
the violets are dead,
the demons run circles around in my head.

So hush little sweetheart,
sit down and cry,
put down the razor,
you don't need to die.

Your head is a mess,
your heart torn in two,
everyone loves you and you love u too.

Don't use that razor,
don't shed that blood,
let your tears drift down like a leaf in a flood.

You're life is worth living,
though you may not think true,
Keep reading this poem
because its written by you.

So leave the razor,
let the demons run free,
everything will get better,
just wait you'll see.

Whenever your down,
read this aloud,
don't hurt yourself darling,
instead make yourself proud.

Because your stronger than you think,
more intelligent than you know,
and with each passing day your memories will grow.

To out run your demons,
I believe in this truth,
That if anyone can do it
I know that it's you.

In my heart a Moore, a gothic grey and ghostly place.
A ravaged plane of love and loss,
Unbounded by time and space.

I see her umned by mist and lightning running rooted in the stone,
I hear her singing for her life,
My soul chills to the bone.

Monsters roam the heath between us,
Restless spirits sleeping blood.
My body calmed, I have no strength,
Froze as a statue where I'm stood.

Then I glimpse a glance of sudden suprise,
When i hear a distant bell,
The lonely spirit finally free,
Goodbye Angel, Farewell.

Friends are like diamonds, they're each special in their own way,
The crazy ones, the loving ones, the ones who brighten up your day.

Its amazing to have friends who stand by you oh so true, the ones who couldn't imagine living a single day without you.

Keep those friend close, dont ever push them away, remember they are there for you every step of the way.

To make you laugh, to make you smile, when days are feeling down, to pick you up and dust you off and get rid of your frown.

Those people are your family, through rainy days or shine. The ones who make your life so bright, and memories so devine.

To have friends so crazy, who love you oh so true, even when they're a pain sometimes, you know you love them too.

My friends are my family, we're inseparable this is true, I hope everyone has friends like mine, to love and care for you.

Make memories in the sunshine, dance together in the rain, take photos and make memories, and do it over and over again.

Life is for living, so live it to the full, keep those friends and family around you and you're life will never be dull.

Thank you to the friends I have,
who have became family along the way,
I love you all so dearly, you all brighten up my day.

When the day comes, when I can't be with you, when I can't see the sun shine bright, or the stars that glow at night,

Remember I'm always with you. Every step you take, choice you make, ill be right there beside you.

In spirit I will guide you, in dreams I will comfort you, on bad days I will hug you, on good days I will praise you.

I may not be there in body, but ill be there in spirit and in mind. I wish there could be a button even for a minute to rewind.

Rewind to days before I left, even just for a minute or two, just enough time to hug you and tell you that I love you.

A minute to say I love you, a minute to hug you tight, and promise I'm right there with you every day and every night.

I know you miss me dearly, and believe I miss you too, but one day we'll be together, in a better place me and you.

Until that day comes, please dont shead a tear for me, i never really left you, you're still a part of me.

Remember that I told you, if one day we can't be together, keep me in your heart and I'll stay there forever.

Whenever you feel down, look for me in your heart, you will find me there tucked away with memories that never part.

Remember the memories, the good not the bad, and remember all the silly things I did when you were sad.

I'll be there in your dreams, to kiss you goodnight, so for now sleep well my darling, godbless you and sleep tight.

Im starting to become one with the darkness
Honestly it doesn't feel too bad,
Just the feeling of loneliness and nothing
Really makes me sad.

Should i become one with the darkness
Let my demons break free,
Stay this stranger ive become
No going back to being me.

The darkness has taken over
They have become one with me,
You'll now see the dark and broken girl
That the darkness has made of me.

When the lines are down,
The phones gone dead,
The monsters now appear inside of your head.

The voices seem real,
The demons are there,
You try to run,
But youre getting nowhere.

You can't find the light,
It's darker than night,
You try to tell yourself,
You're going to be alright.

You see no end,
The walls are too tall,
You jus want to wake up,
From this never ending fall.

Suddenly there's light,
A beacon in the night,
You can see only one option,
You know that it's right.

An option to start again,
Piece the puzzle together,
Colur in the monsters,
Send them away forever.

Life is your option,
Make the colours shine bright,
Paint a new rainbow,
Banish the night.

Send the monsters away,
Put the demons in a cage,
Calm your anger,
Channel your rage.

The monsters aren't there,
The darkness is gone,
Youre life is the light,
Now you have won.

The day I said goodbye mum, I knew it wasn't the end, it was just a little fairwell, until we meet again.

You see I'm moving to a new house mum, though the memories aren't left behind, if only there was one button mum, one button to press rewind.

I'd certainly press that button mum, to see you once again. To laugh, share love and dance with you mum, and prey it doesn't end.

Though that can never happen mum, you're gone but never forgotten, i know you're beside me at my best moments mum, and at my worst when I hit rock bottom.

I feel you hold me at my worst mum, at my best I feel the same. I just wish that you were here mum and I could hear you say my name.

I wish I could wrap my arms around you, and feel you wipe away my tears. I know your with me in spirit mum and you will be throughout the years.

I love you and I miss you mum, goodnight, God bless, be free. Sending love and hugs to the stars mum, just for you from me.

Together on life's journey,
We both will never part,
Sharing all the joys of life,
Together from the start.

Sharing lots of happy times,
Sometimes sharing tears,
Always learning from each other,
Together through the years.

No matter where life leads us,
Dear sister know its true,
It's been a joy to travel down this road,
Of a wonderful life with you.

We'll be together forever,
Through what life may throw,
We will conquer it together,
And through it learn and grow.

Your my sister, my diamond, my life,
From your birth to present day,
No matter where life takes us,
Ill guide you all the way.

We've been through so much together,
Your the baby sister yet your stronger than I,
I know you will be by my side,
Until the day I die.

When life throws you a curve ball,
I just want you to know,
Ill be there to catch it,
And make the final throw.

Nothing in this world will ever hurt you,
Believe that this is true,
Because no matter what you are my sister,
And ill always be there to protect you.

We need to make more memories,
And have fun as come each day,
Start each morning with a smile,
And take pictures along the way.

You are my baby sister,
And the crazy one it's true,
But I wouldn't change you for the world,
Because I love you being you.

So dear sister get out your phone,
Open Snapchat let's have some fun,
Start and end our days with a silly pics,
And save them when we're done.

You are a crazy little sister,
You're amazing this is true,
So to my crazy lil sister,
I love and cherish you.

If you're ever feeling down, as u mostly do, just remember one thing, there's only one you.

One you whos brave, one you whos strong, one who who should ignore people when they tell you you're wrong.

Wrong for feeling down, wrong for feeling low, and what you should tell them is a straight out NO.

No its not wrong to feel down, low or alone, i wonder if they know what it's like to be on your own.

On your own with your Demons, running wild in your head, feeling like there's nowhere to go, filling you with sorrow and dread.

Some don't know what it's like to feel like we do, how far down you will go is entirely upto you.

It's only you who can fight back, because you're stronger thank you may think, I know u wish u could make them go away, as quick as u can blink.

But sometimes its harder, the Demons take over and run free, i know how u feel, trust and believe me.

You may feel alone, but you never really are, what u need to remember as I'm never far.

Never far night or day, when you're down n feel unprepared, remember I'm always here if you need to have a word.

I mean what I say, I'm here night or day, whenever u need me ill never be far away.

I sit watching the day, wondering what will be coming for me? physically I'm here, mentally I'm not,
I don't feel me anymore, I wonder if the gods can help me? i shall ask in my next blot.
Ill ask Odin, Freyja and *****, to guide me on my path, to help me spiritually find myself again.
ill make my offering surrounded with musky incense, AleHorn, runes and a hammer around my neck,
ill give my offering as i ask for help to  somehow bring me back.
back to the days i could smile, back to the days i could be me,
oh dear Odin i wish i could again be free.
Free to be me again, feel alive again, feel anything again, instead of being darkly numb, it honestly feels like someone has me under the thumb.
Dear Odin, Freyja and *****, please forgive me for being so weak, needless and numb.
help me find myself again, be the warrior I am, stand tall and face my fears in a mental battle only I can win.
I finish my offering with blessings, smoke and gin, Hail to the gods, Freyja, ***** and Odin.

Friends will come and friends will go,
As the seasons change time will show.

The ones who love you, the ones who care, the ones who just use you because they need someone there.

In life choose carefully who you let into your heart, make sure its the right ones who are never going to part.

Not the ones who want you, just as a stand in rent a friend, keep the ones who love you where the love will never end.

Don't be the person who trust so true, the one who gets left behind, when they no longer need you.

Choose your circle wisely, do not be coaxed by lies and mistrust. Keep your eyes and mind open and do what you must.

Don't lose the close friends you have, because you trusted someone too fast, someone who stabbed you in the back with the fake friendship not made to last.

So choose your friends wisely, keep your enemies as close as you must, but keep and open mind and you will see who you can trust.

Turn your back on bad friendship, and keep the ones that last, because the devil was once an angel, far back in the past.

Be true to yourself, believe the right choice. To leave behind the bad ones, and keep the good ones and rejoice.

As the sun shines bright on the morrow, as we sail to battle along the sea, I have no worries, be it if I die, for valhallah waits for me.

We fight to honour our gods, we feast when all is done, we have no remorse for what we do as we are Vikings under the sun.

Our gods watch over us Hail Freja, Odin & more, never ask us how many that we have slain, we're Vikings we don't keep score.

as the sun sets, on our longboat, at our journeys end or begun, as we sail across the sea, still I Have no Fear of Dying, for Valhallah waits for me