I love the
way her
smile kisses
the sun while
she speaks
Head tilted
back
gazing at its
beauty
She was
breathtaking

I cant help but think
I'll ever be
good enough
My hands shake
and my heart races
faster than any
parading drummer

Seeing you strikes
fear in me
That feeling of knives
digging further into
my lungs

That need for showers
so hot my skin
tingles for pain

That terrifying feeling
I cant seem to shake
No grunge filled song could
hold me tighter than
tonight

Mister aslyum kissing my
ears lightly with
his words

Maybe I'll sleep tonight
if i let Johnny's music
flow over me like
honey

Ya know all I have is anger right
now
Got one trying to love me
but I can't right now
I don't have much to offer when I'm so broken down
anxious
Mixed drinks and myself spilled out on the pavement
Trying to collect what's left of me
broken up pieces I see you took what's left of me

I want to start off by saying
you were the most
                               intriguing
                  soul I had ever met

the way your jaw moved
   when you were embarrassed
or irritated
your face would scrunch up
and you'd blink hard
                                   letting out a gasp of sharp but smooth laughter
And I liked when
                you'd think
Your eyes would flickr like
             a lit candle
and every time you spoke
                 I couldn't help but want to bite those lips
    Gently of course
                       I hated when you were angry
                My body melted to nothing when you were sad
   And it felt as if my whole body would crumble to pieces

                          when you just

wanted
             to
                 be
                      alone

I'd lay there in bed
Thinking of you staring up at your ceiling
             hoping your storm would blow over

and you were yourself again

Your skin
warming like a fire
Ignites flames in me
when against my tongue
And if kissing every inch
of you was healing
I'd do it
I'd bathe you in sugar plum
and berry blue waters
Letting you savor every bit
and I'd watch it drip off of you ever so softly

Anyone else getting so
tired
of scrapping pennies
Meal stretchers
and cold with ripped
leggings
Fillin up on what was
suppose to be
last week's rent
Can't help not havin a real meal
since month 10
Sleepin on
Air mattress beds
Just tired

Some people's
mouths are
like syrupy
fountains
spewing cloy
dew drops
clotted up
by porcelain
love stories
Their honey suckle
flavored tears
drowing youthful
spirits

I dream of you in colors that don't exist
It's shakes me awake at night
Curiousity on soft toned finger tips
A darkest plum color
Like secret rose hips
A cursed tonic
Whispers in the dark wood ballroom
Serving drinks to those
Allergic to skin jacking cross spirits

And at the attempt
of being normal
I was ever more
wild
than sane
I licked and gnashed my teeth
my hair a tease
nails dug straight into
self pity
Tearing it apart
piece by piece as if I were an
animal
and it were my prey
Leaving no trace of it behind
to claim

I have this
animalistic
hunger
for the taste
of your
earthy skin
The way
you lick
your lips
and press your
fingers into
my ribs
leaving me
like a gushing
spring
Like bitter
wine
I cant wait
to lick from
your heaving
chest
Eat me like
a cherry
And I'll make
you feel
fireworks
swell up your
thighs
traveling through me
hard and slow

Sunflower stems ripping

through my bones

and teeth

****** fingers

dripping on the seems

Reminents of burnt edges

just cremate me


Sunflower petals

suffocate me

wring me dry

Soak up my melting

heart

Leave me here to

die


Sunflower girl

poison me tonight

take away the golden light

from the pearly sky

i felt his
heavy hands
pin me down
and panic
spreads throughout
me like
wildfire
there is no
going back
to those burnt
remains

Sometimes
when my wrists
burn
and my
heart
hums a little too
softly
I dream of
swimming
in my river
of light
Letting my soul
basks in its
milky waves
My heart
quenching its
thirst
And only then
will i drink
too

There was a time
where she smiled
for no reason

When dandelions
tickled her silly
and clouds
reminded her of marshmallow
fluff

When rain would drip down
in a waterfall of color
And she would itch
to taste
Its bitterness
To feel its depth of
icy kisses
To see it
fall like sullen
tears
and hear it sing sweet lullabies

All of her senses
seemed to melt
like candle wax

And when home became
a featherless memory
she would dream of
crisp ironed sheets,
creaky floorboards
and baked ******
bread

She was once jovial
Free
to roam
the invisible world
that thrived in forests
and oceans

That saccharine
saltiness
that rolled off her tongue
to whisper
now decomposed
wishes of
tomorrow

I think I've lost myself
too far left
down steep cliffs
and motherless

A flicker of the eye
I notice you watch her
walk by

The late night calls end
our tongues used less
no words escape
twisted up word scapes
sloppy letters
and torn pages

Yet again
I notice
the flicker of your eyes
Your hands no longer
touching mine
the want to leave
to breathe different air than me

I'm broken
lost and confused
I thought you were my muse

That stone filled
stomach feeling
Which leaves me aching
for days
Feels like glutony
for heartache
Tie me to a
cinder block and
push me off
your docks of
midnight madness
Then slowly but with
force
Swallow me whole
until i feel nothing
but falling
out of love

i felt uneasy
in the arms
of a heart consisting of
candle wax
and brittle
bones
where *** hungry
feinds break their
teeth

loving someone so
fragile
was like a
glass house
who threw stones for protection
always and forever
on gaurd
i'd tiptoe through
the halls
as if the floors
were ice
and i had no choice
but to cross
i couldn't leave
because then
how could i relive
memories in a
different home?

Everything's fuzzy and cloudy
Heads spinning
Drousy
The walls peeling
Eyes red
Throat bleeding
Its cottony skies
That keep me from breathing
My chest heavy
Cant stop from heaving
When I cant stop
All I do is drop
The words in my head
Dropping on the pavement

Anxiety
feelin like raised rent
Don't work enough
for it to die down again
Just like a pill
hard to swallow
I don't talk anyone
no more
It's a sad pass time
but you gotta follow
I just want that one person
but he in his own world
I know it's hard
but sometimes you gotta be
your own girl

I regret the nights
I laid there in her bed
as she used me

i knew i would
lose her
to someone else
but it
still hurts

the pain
of not being
enough for her
tears me apart

and i am
empty

Everything that gives
me pain
echos
in waves
I find myself
staring at
the wall
wishing to be higher
than the stars
and sky
being away
from it all
Maybe then I can
dream
of smooth milky
kisses
and sunny
baths
that leave my skin
tingling

Right now
I feel cold
Bones that sing
like a decrepit
abandoned home
Greasy skin
and wild curls that
are blacker than
any sober 2 am
morning

I wish to be
higher than the clouds
to swim in their
cottony pillows
oh how sweet

loving someone
who fears
emotion
is a tragic
love story

i love the
way
snow kisses
the earth
ever so lightly
first subtly
then
passionately

Im not sure why
but i feel it coming

the way she looks at me
the want for me to be as far away
as possible
is burning beneath her
eye lids

The subtle hints
the anger
tears
cold blankets
and light weight meals

She doesn't want me here anymore

Those long days at work
of back pain and
the urge to take a break

Taking a seat at home
wishing my mind
would just sedate

She doesn't wany me anymore
i feel the hate
I dont feel happy here
i cry thinking about setting a foot in this place

Is the only thing I think about now
Being tired is the only thing that consumes me
The obsessiveness to sleep eats me whole
And I just…

want
to
sleep

Everything seems like its swirling around me like a tornado
but to you it's a draft in a vacant house
Sleep, it's so simple
but it's the hardest thing I could ever obtain
the thought of never waking up again
is a craving i cannot feed
the cold fingers of anxiety grip me
and it's what leaves burn marks during steaming hot showers
it's the feeling of drowning in heavy piles of words made of dirt
mud, grease and sweat
every word has a taste, texture and smell that makes you
Lust for more. Ache for the words that will quench your thirst
Those words….they are the ones that keep you up at night

Those words are the ones that keep you waiting till 1 am but
they never seem to show
they are the ones you can't seem to grasp
The unspoken ones
The ones that make you studder
The ones that make you so frustrated that you can't think straight
They are the ones that make your lip quiver and heart ache
And that feeling for me will never go away

if i were
to explain
the feeling
of her lips
on mine
it would be
as if the stars
were to melt
into a river
of light
birthing sweet
honey suckle
blossoms

Rushing waves of euphoria and kilig left a bitter sweet taste. Busted lips and bruised knuckles were just remnants of what had happened that day. Addicted to the rush, you came everyday to play the same game.

The yelling,
the screaming,
the fighting,

it filled you up. You were no longer starving. Her touch was sweet, you loved the way she looked at you. Her enticing green eyes begged you stay. To not hurt her again. The way they pooled up and burst like a raging waterfall when you threatened to leave. The longing kisses, the tight hugs and whispering of lies. It’s what you dreamed of. You loved the romance but you were starving for so much more. And that’s why you kept coming back. You wanted to be hurt. Your broken heart screamed for it. But she had nothing but love to give.

I like feeling your warmth against me
Your face on my chest
everything is so fluid
with the way you move
Crash into me earthy and blue
your colors melting into mine
your kiss bubbly on my skin
I like to feel your smile when your lips are on mine
When you're around everything is so solid
inside this lucid dream
The touch of your finger tips in my skin
Is concrete
and your brewing eyes is just something you cant makeup
they're too unique

I was walkin down the street
Saw a pretty girl with black hair
And ***** feet
She had no money
Her father spent it all on ****
Lonely and afraid she sat on corners
Wishin for a bite to eat

I told my teacher what i saw
And she said
If i had money to pay for meals
If i had it to pay these bills
If i stopped these wars that ****
I would do it but life ain’t fair
I teach these kids but they still fail
I work three jobs but i can’t bail
Life is hard. Life is rough.
Just go home kid and **** it up

I saw a man, working hard
He served his country
Now has no job
He’s pushin carts and collecting cans
Tossed aside from society
He has no plans

I told the mailman what i saw
And he said
If i had money to pay for meals
If i had it to pay these bills
If i stopped these wars that ****
I would do it but life ain’t fair
I do my job, i do it right
I return hot and tired each night
I have no family, i live alone
Life just ain’t fair kid
So just move along

Cauliflower clouds

drip down my tinted blue

walls

leave behind a trickling

aurum river

so that i may lap up

Its shine

Bathe me

so that my burning skin

may be clean again

Free me

There was a time in my life
where i loved God so much
that i prayed desperatley
in the night
The moon washing
over me softly like silk
with tiny hands clasped together
i prayed for things to get better

Along with yellow stained walls
and a clatter of beer cans
off into the distant
I prayed

I thanked god
For giving me my mom
and grandmother
I thanked god for the food
That mom prepared for us
I thanked him for the roof
over my head
and for the waves of happiness
that the church brought to me
I prayed for my dad
I wanted him to care

The day i started to lose faith was like
the breaking of glass
I stood before a deacon
soaked from the rain
curls dripping down
my worn young face

I begged to be blessed again
I needed that feeling one last time
The overwhelming feeling of sunshine
warmth, and honey
I needed to feel God’s hand in
my life

To know he still existed
That he didn’t leave me alone
with my alcoholic dad
and shattered mom

That he was there ready
to give me strength

Days passed
weeks grew into months
and i was forgotten by the church

I began highschool
With empty hope that soon
withered away like an unwatered
flower

City of lost souls
swirl like dancing ashes on
the cold
concrete
Thumping of your feet
dance so freely

Not everyone will have a
palette
like your own
You crave new flavors
no one's ever heard of
The way those tangerine skies
just melt on your tongue
Cottony with golden hues,
it was your divine taste
in how you painted stories
The flavors,  spices and frothy words
made my lips tingle
Your hunger is what really kills me
You fill up on books ever night,
crisp waxy paper sticking to your
delicate fingers
The books pile high and you're still not full
Hunger is always a familiar
feeling
And the stacks of novels never seem to disappoint me with its height

I want to start off by saying that my stomach still flutters when I hear your name. I shutter at the thought of you and your smell makes my tongue salivate.

Fixated on your rib cage slowly rising up and down. Your breast like two perfectly plump peaches glistening from my tongue caressing them softly. Your stomach marked up with dark cherry red, a stream of crimson on your neck and thighs.

You flinch at my bites however lean in for more. Knowing it leads to me eating more. You know where I'm leading to, my lips presses against your soft skin. My tongue sliding in and tasting ecstasy and hunger. I like the wetness, your breathing, and the hot steamy madness running through my head.

In a chaotic
world of
media hungry
oil dumping
maniacs
We all seem to
build a
liquidized
bubble of opinions
that form
around our
bulbous heads
as infants
spewing knowledge
like an uncontrollable
spring

Our ideas
chopped down
Like oak trees
in a sparse
forest
No longer holding
that nostalgic
dream of
fighting dragons

Now only holding
what seems to
be a building
of self crippling
worthless merchandise
and rotting wood

Look at me dangerously
with those mocha eyes
Still brewing
slow
steeping
you're hypnotizing
That daring cocoa butter stare
Sweet and deep with
secret bitter twists
Smokey and honey filled
you made my cup half full
on days it felt so empty
Sipping on your lips feels so
soul awakening

Theres just some
who know you're in pain
and will spend
forever
waiting for you

And I'd invite him in
no matter how long we've gone
apart
His warmth spreads over me
smoother than any
sweet bubbly poison
And when he kisses me
its slow
taking time to trace me
inch by inch

And as much as i hurt
as much as it kills me
to remember
those who have hurt me
I cant help
but want him to take more
of me
To kiss every piece of me
hold me
and look at me lovingly
with his mocha eyes

Amidst the thicket of people
stood, lanky and broad
a girl of color
Fine, smooth skin
That tasted of mint and
Charred woods
And with the crowd
she swayed like the waves
on a beach
Endlessly pushing the bank
with deep blues and moss green
Softly, her lips drawn
and eyes fixated on the swirling
lights that encased the room
Men and women
Of all shapes and colors
pirouette in an endless haze
that she couldn’t seem to grasp
Onward she looks
her hair flawlessly blankets
her diamond face
Fuzzy and smudged from
Cosnuming everything that left a lifelong sense
Of tingles and laughter
A man in the form of red
finds his way to her
They twirl, caper and sway
to the music that drowned out
their sense of mind
And with a sip
Of bitter juices that seemed
to melt her body like butter
She fell in his arms
Finally the moon sleeps
and the sun rises with happiness and glory
basking the earth in its light
awakes the girl with flawless hair
and midnight skin
Sheets stained with cranberry and
Steel
She soon realizes
She didn’t ask for this
the long smothering kisses
and ripping of fabric
She didn’t ask for the endless glasses
of tasteless drinks
and bruised skin
She didn’t ask for it

And there were times where
all I wanted to do
was touch your face
but you wanted to touch
lace