Im not sure why
but i feel it coming

the way she looks at me
the want for me to be as far away
as possible
is burning beneath her
eye lids

The subtle hints
the anger
tears
cold blankets
and light weight meals

She doesn't want me here anymore

Those long days at work
of back pain and
the urge to take a break

Taking a seat at home
wishing my mind
would just sedate

She doesn't wany me anymore
i feel the hate
I dont feel happy here
i cry thinking about setting a foot in this place

Those sheets
of insecurity
and shame
slipped off me
while you lay
starry eyed
at my naked chest
and as your hands
slip under the
covers
i later find
that there were
other art pieces
you gazed at
when i wasn't around

i wish that
one day
my words
will lay
crisply between
your index finger
and thumb
on pristine white
feather like
pages

Sometimes
when my wrists
burn
and my
heart
hums a little too
softly
I dream of
swimming
in my river
of light
Letting my soul
basks in its
milky waves
My heart
quenching its
thirst
And only then
will i drink
too

I´ve dreamed once
of smokey chamomile
rooms
wine soaked
sheets
and bottled bleach
Yellow, oily ceilings
that droop down
while I sleep
The walls
crumble
while my
eyes turn
murky gray
all I see are
shades and
shapes
rough and rugged
textured pieces of
mud
drenched debree
everything turns to
ash
and I couldn´t breathe
Black demon like
clouds of charcoal
monsters
gnawing at my
lungs
drowning me

Funny how you cut me off
now you say you're
lonesome
Got no one to call up
and smoke some
Complaining you ain't loved
when you had one
Pushing me away
like I was the bad one
Playing these games
Honey it's all good

slirpin steady spirits out of chopsticks
colored liver on your popstick
curly lyrics are your top picks
a steady serum that works to make your
heart kick
a heavy leader who knows how to make your day hit
sweaty and steering
your words uneven
slurring secrets dressed like sequence
a confetti sentence not meant to keep you dreaming

i knew i would
lose her
to someone else
but it
still hurts

the pain
of not being
enough for her
tears me apart

and i am
empty

Anxiety
feelin like raised rent
Don't work enough
for it to die down again
Just like a pill
hard to swallow
I don't talk anyone
no more
It's a sad pass time
but you gotta follow
I just want that one person
but he in his own world
I know it's hard
but sometimes you gotta be
your own girl

I love the
way her
smile kisses
the sun while
she speaks
Head tilted
back
gazing at its
beauty
She was
breathtaking

Some people's
mouths are
like syrupy
fountains
spewing cloy
dew drops
clotted up
by porcelain
love stories
Their honey suckle
flavored tears
drowing youthful
spirits

I like feeling your warmth against me
Your face on my chest
everything is so fluid
with the way you move
Crash into me earthy and blue
your colors melting into mine
your kiss bubbly on my skin
I like to feel your smile when your lips are on mine
When you're around everything is so solid
inside this lucid dream
The touch of your finger tips in my skin
Is concrete
and your brewing eyes is just something you cant makeup
they're too unique

Sunflower stems ripping

through my bones

and teeth

****** fingers

dripping on the seems

Reminents of burnt edges

just cremate me


Sunflower petals

suffocate me

wring me dry

Soak up my melting

heart

Leave me here to

die


Sunflower girl

poison me tonight

take away the golden light

from the pearly sky

I want nothing
more
than my unhappiness
to dissolve
like sugar

I wish to inspire
the world
the way a mother
inspires her
child

Everything's fuzzy and cloudy
Heads spinning
Drousy
The walls peeling
Eyes red
Throat bleeding
Its cottony skies
That keep me from breathing
My chest heavy
Cant stop from heaving
When I cant stop
All I do is drop
The words in my head
Dropping on the pavement

I regret the nights
I laid there in her bed
as she used me

He reminds me
of warm
summer rain
that beats down
on rusted
paint can
lids
That endless
drumming that
swells my lungs
with honey melon
sweet nectar
He reminds me
of warm
clay
that melts
like butter
in saccharine
batches
of short lived
molded memories
now blossoming
like fresh tulips
in dark
earthy mounds
He is my
rain man
Like a strong storm
that dies down
just to kiss
the lakes that
bleed into
minty puddles
Fierce
and undying
he survived
all the
ash filled
chocolate boxes
and
empty
phone calls
from home
He is the
rain man

I want to start off by saying that my stomach still flutters when I hear your name. I shutter at the thought of you and your smell makes my tongue salivate.

Fixated on your rib cage slowly rising up and down. Your breast like two perfectly plump peaches glistening from my tongue caressing them softly. Your stomach marked up with dark cherry red, a stream of crimson on your neck and thighs.

You flinch at my bites however lean in for more. Knowing it leads to me eating more. You know where I'm leading to, my lips presses against your soft skin. My tongue sliding in and tasting ecstasy and hunger. I like the wetness, your breathing, and the hot steamy madness running through my head.

And there were times where
all I wanted to do
was touch your face
but you wanted to touch
lace

I like the way
some words
crunch
between my teeth
and slide off
my tongue
like butter

that creamy
frothy bite
which tingles your
your lips

A language
so beautiful
leaves me starving
for more

Almost as if it
were an unquenchable
thirst for sticky
lines
that swells your
heart strings
when those words
are spoken

Poetry is a banquet
for hungry souls

everyday it feels
as if i hunt
for more
to digest

plunging in whole
heartidly
In a wordy abyss

That gut wrenching
throat tightening
excitement
that i can’t seem
To grasp onto

That is what i crave for

There was once
a being
with swelling bones
and a glass blown
heart
Eyes that turned
into liquid
pools of sunlight
and gleaming caves
of glowing
silk beauties
Every bone in their body
Seemed to deteriorate
like the rotted wood
that held together
the stability
of their mental state
Where lines were drawn
messily onto
hard wood walls
And as they grew
so did the lines
Dinners were made
and beds too
There were times where they
cried
every night
because of the
inevitability
No more
waking up to a warm bed
and soft sweet kisses
from the distant
sun
No more
streaky paintings
painful runs
and random mishaps
at the small market
that sold their favorite
salty snacks
Until one day
they met that person
that made everything
a little more
bearable
That electric pulse
that swam through their veins
when they simply
nudged knuckles
and battered sneakers
That one they thought of
right when their brain
flickered on
and all they could think of
was how the other
played with their hair
and bit their lip
as they read
That need for answers
of why bad things happened
vanished because
how would you enjoy
something so
pure like them
if everything else seemed
to shine just as bright
as them

Most of the time
when i´m alone
or I space out
i have that heavy
feeling
where its a mix of
being disconnected to people
around me and
myself
I don´t feel like
¨myself¨
I haven´t felt like
I was me
since 10th grade
I feel washed out
and everything I do
day to day
is just me
going through the motions
Sometimes I feel like this
and its hard to
get over it
I´m not sure if there´s
such thing as
getting over it
Sometimes its hard for me
to even remember what makes me happy
No amount of painting or music can
motivate me
It usually does
So now all i can do
is sleep
Only then it feels like
I can shut out
that heavy feeling
I wrote this thinking it would help
they say it helps
but it didn´t

I hunger for words
I cant seem to compile
in my endlessly spiraling
brain

I think I've lost myself
too far left
down steep cliffs
and motherless

A flicker of the eye
I notice you watch her
walk by

The late night calls end
our tongues used less
no words escape
twisted up word scapes
sloppy letters
and torn pages

Yet again
I notice
the flicker of your eyes
Your hands no longer
touching mine
the want to leave
to breathe different air than me

I'm broken
lost and confused
I thought you were my muse

City of lost souls
swirl like dancing ashes on
the cold
concrete
Thumping of your feet
dance so freely

Feels like my life is draining away like water
sooner or later
the years fading away
farther
A spitting image?
Of mommy and daddys baby
wasting away greatly
the older, the more she crumbles
Her story nothing but a mumble
a flickr of light crosses the table
nothing like her love
had seemed so stable
a story
made for her
a fairy tale built to perfection
confection sugar coated sonets
seem to tangle
on her lips, a kiss like this
more dangerous than bliss
i wish a girl like her wasnt as complicated as this life wasting away
faded words on a page
as the years pass by and the tears do dry
Will she remember?
the aches the pains
the memory of fame

Honey dipped
you kissed me softly
smothered in honey suckle sweet
My favorite kind of tea
Broken in two
you're my glue
hold me right
and never let go❤

I wanna talk about experiences ive had
but im too young to understand
too young to have a plan
far too small to tell you stories
the aches, the pains, the glories
Ive had people make me crumble to my knees
release the pain and overdose
i was nothing there to see
Ive had someone tell me
Its all in my head
triple threat
brain dead
Sometimes i just wanna sleep
nothing to eat
nothing to be
unconscious in ya bed
Opposite of a day dream
Now I have someone who makes my knees weak
A shiver and tease
lips on mine
i was left starving
for you on me
The laughs, small talks and stories
I wanted nothing more
than our love to burst
like sunny mornings
Sometimes i just wanna fall asleep
with you right next to me
nothing drab or mean
nothing but the sound of us
breathing

I fear the
unknown
but it lures
me in
like an
Ill-mannered
feline
unwilling to
be tamed

Im just a little
too high tonight
to write
Wish my mind would just
settle down or take flight

I want to look at you and know
you won't run on me

I want to be me as a whole
and splash in your wholesome too
To know that we are so full
we could make waterfalls

I want you to be there and tell me when my thunderstorms are just trickling rain on my window

I want to know that you can handle me and I can handle you
That you don't just put up with my rain
but learn to find beauty in it
To see my pain
and understand
And to know you hurt too