He is the kind of manipulative
That makes question yourself
And your memory
So I found a loophole
I record everything
On my phone
So I can check to make sure

It's sad that I have to do this
With my own father
But I need to
For me mentally

He's a real nowhere man
Sitting in his nowhere land
Making all these nowhere promises
To somebody

He's as blind as he can be
Just sees what he wants to see
Nowhere man
Can you see me at all?

You shouldn't wait for someone to lend you a hand
You awful
Awful
Nowhere man

All my life
I had strived to be normal

Once I finally move to this new school
I will be normal
...I wasn't

Once I style my hair differently
I will be normal
...I wasn't

Once I join this club
I will be normal
...I wasn't

I never was
No matter the rules I made
The clothes I wore
The school I went to

No matter how many how many YouTube videos on how to make friends I watched
The techniques I tried
And the books I read

Now
Only now
Do I finally accept
And take pride in
The fact that I am weird


Now
I try to find
Other weirdos like me
And make them my friends
Instead of the copy pasted people

I am weird
But I am weird
In a good way

Sixty years of
Blood
Sweat
Ink

Perhaps today
Something good

My eyes caught a lover on instagram.
Sweet, I said.
Holding each other’s hands,
Laughing to unfunny jokes,
Taking lots of romantic picture to keep,
Beautiful
As we used to be.

I pray to God,
So he makes her happily ever after,
So he understands how fragile her heart is,
So he doesn’t leave her alone at their own home,
Oh God, I hope she gets everything I don’t.