When you gave me a tarot reading,
in a park in the middle of the night,
he was sitting right across from me.
I did a three card reading.
My present came up as the devil.
None of us knew the meaning,
but we were all shocked.
As we looked it up,
it all became clear.
The card means unhealthy relationships,
addiction.
It represents your shadow self,
and i am constantly held back by myself.

When i start to feel the urge,
to slice my skin into ribbons,
instead i pull out my kit,
and prepare to give myself another tattoo,
because even though it hurts,
the end result is more beautiful
than any scar.

Can’t you see that i love you?
I just can’t love you in the way that you want.
You are one of my best friends,
but the way you’re acting is tearing us apart.
When i finally met someone i like,
you should’ve been happy for me,
but all you’re doing is making me cry.
I can’t lose you as a friend,
but i can’t have you as a lover.

I keep saying that i’m going to cut him off,
but every time he texts me,
i’m rushing to respond,
i’m always going out with him.
I keep saying that i’m done with him,
but he makes me feel wanted.
And i would rather lose myself than
leave him.

At this point
I’d do anything to be over you.
But i don’t want to.
I want to go back to the way we were before.
But everything you do hurts me.
So now i’m ready to let you go,
even if my heart still holds on.

It’s been over a week since you ended it
and i'm still hung up on you.
I still have feelings for you,
but i know they aren’t returned
because you got with another before the night was over.
I’m stuck in a tunnel of unrequited feelings.

i can’t smoke cigarettes anymore
because they remind me of my time with you.
i can’t drink tequila anymore
because it reminds me of that night
i can’t even hang out with you anymore
because all the time i spend with you
just makes the pain so much worse.