Are you there, God?
Can you hear my prayers?
Do you see my pain?
Will you forgive the sinners
who curse your name?
Is there a way to save my soul?

Can i still enter your kingdom?
Do you love me unconditionally?
Will you always love me?
Who could ever love me?
Is there anyway to save me?
Are you even there?

Do you wish you hadn’t created us?
Can you love an atheist like me?
Is there even a soul in my walking corpse?
Do you even exist?
Will you forgive all?
Are you even there, God?

why was i not enough for you?
am i just too much of the wrong thing?
i already changed myself for you,
i would’ve changed even more.
i want to say i hate you
for everything you did to me,
but i love you as much as before.
i’m still in love with a cheater.
i’m still in love with the one who broke me

i act like i’m heartless
to protect myself from the pain.
i pretend i don’t feel anything,
but every time i see you,
it’s like knives are entering my heart.
every word you say to me,
is tearing me apart.
leaving you broke me,
some might say i turned heartless,
but really,
i’m just using my heart less.

i tried to warn you to stay away,
from my poison and pain.
i tried to show you i’m toxic.
the brightest things in nature,
are the most poisonous,
and you’ve seen my hair.
it’s been every shade,
bright and vibrant.
so you can’t blame me for your hurt.

i haven’t slept much since i saw you last.
it’s hard to fall asleep
when i no longer have you watching over me.
our late night calls were my saving grace.
i was finally able to get enough rest.
but now i’m back at the start.
my nights are filled with sleeping pills that don’t work
and tears when i think of you.
i’d rather stay awake for ever,
than dream of what we could have had.

you don’t know how much it hurt
when i decided to let you go.
you deserve so much more than me
and i was just dragging you down.
you shouldn’t have to put up with me
and my endless problems.
when i said i couldn’t commit,
i was just giving you an out.
you don’t know how much it hurt,
when you said you weren’t.

my heart still hurts when i see you
2. i haven’t gotten over you
3. i am still hopelessly in love with you
4. there are so many things i wish i had told you
5. my mom still asks about you. sometimes it seems like she cares more about you than she does me
6. i am still in part one of my recovery, where i say i’m getting help, but every night i’m falling apart.
7. i wish i didn’t let my jealousy get in the way of us
8. i still think of you
9. i still love you
10. it’s always you