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When I press broken fingernails deep inside the
fleshy surface that is an anemic palm,
I am reminded-
I am real.
This is real.
Fourteen years old.
I remember the first time I got high
like it was yesterday,
but I can’t for the life of me
remember who am I.
Close-set eyes like brown almond paste-
(no my eyes are blue.)
Who.
This ****** body stripped of sin
only to mess it up again.
But I'm fine-
Everyone says so.
Fine like the wind in summer
blowing round and round cotton fairies.
And I press broken nails sharp like glass
into frail skin
if only to feel something.
But it never lasts long enough
to count.
My mother loves me like she loves the
rain when it pours and
pours and
pours.
Like
achy
joints that
curl ‘round their suppor-
-ting bones mercilessly.
And the pebble in her shoe
that makes blistering wounds;
She loves me like she loves my
Lack of Drive.
Determination
Determining how much the woman
loves me
is but a test untaken.
As without the rain
green drys black.
Plants
thirst.
Even if
she only shows
the smallest
Indication
People are utterly filthy.
Rags besmirched black and undertone red in blood, and ****,
and tears, and thrown up alcohol bought cheaper than a
***** on Seventh.
Oh, tell me about it.
I saw a dead person once.
Grime under fingernails and teeth carved in gingivitis--
filth of a body really; but still I cry for this begotten soul
until my own hands grow
disheveled in the hue of
sobbing women.
Women are always sobbing.
My good friend with fishnet tights cries and
cries when the bottle breaks and
glass becomes embedded in those brown
fingertips of hers.
What is worse?
The stench of rotting flesh mixed with Persian White
dripping from a needle three years defective,
or the scent of sobbing women soaked
lily-livered in sweat.
With an honest tongue, politely I exclaim:
I’d rather sit with the flesh of the dead man whose filth is rotting
away with the mist of dawn,
then the crying pupils of thou who breathe in
white wind from the heavens
and exhale clouds coated thick
in a thousand vile songs.
 Jul 18 MS Anjaan
rk
poseidon
 Jul 18 MS Anjaan
rk
you were the moonlit shore
and i had been drowning at sea
nothing had ever been
more beautiful
as if poseidon
had moulded you himself
the storm in your eyes
my own salvation.
 Jul 18 MS Anjaan
rk
kingdoms
 Jul 18 MS Anjaan
rk
you placed a crown
upon my head
making me feel
like i was the queen
of your castles
little did i know
they were made
of nothing but sand
then the tide crashed in
and swept them away
hushed promises
forgotten by morning.
- my kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder.
 Jul 18 MS Anjaan
rk
you said
we were a destined love
just right person
wrong time
and so i loved you
in that space between
sleep and awake
where the weight of your kiss
still lingered
like peter losing wendy
wondering just how long
i was meant to wait
for you
to come back to me.
 Jul 18 MS Anjaan
rk
july
 Jul 18 MS Anjaan
rk
it's july
and we're falling out of bars
incense clinging to our hair
chasing the last
of the saccharine sun
each strawberry stained kiss
introducing us to god

it's july
and we're hiding under satin sheets
moonlight dancing
upon naked flame
sticky fingers
trying to hold us together
your teeth find my skin
and i can never find the words
to tell you how you've marked me
like spoiled fruit
in the summer heat

it's july
and each amber scented day
leaves me longing
for the month we stole
your eyes met mine
and it felt like a wound mending
before slipping away
with the autumn breeze

it's july
and all i can see is you.
 Jul 18 MS Anjaan
rk
relapse
 Jul 18 MS Anjaan
rk
every time
i think i'm over you
you smile
and i relapse.
- waiting for my fix.
 Jul 18 MS Anjaan
Midnight
i write tragedies
not sonnets
i'm as dark
as the night
my soul
holds sadness
grunge
is my aesthetic
and cheery
is not in my vocabulary
I'm launched into life
from silence into noise
no choices just chance
don't tilt against boys.
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