Broken records
A vault in heaven
Unlock me
Velvet sky
Ultraviolet
Final time around
Smallest of
Increments
I never glowed
In thee dark
Frozen visionary
Rush of
Blood to the head
Stained glass
No longer resonates in you
Haunting scars
At the end of
The world
My guiding rope fell
The simplest
Things I found a bit
Of comfort in
Who would have thought
Banish the stagnant air
That chokes my inner being
Reeling gray matter
You’ve never been
A gentle creature to me
I’ve seen
All I need too see
I know what I’ve always felt like
The time
Nor place really
Doesn’t matter
Just know it will come
To be true
Turn my darkness into fluorescents
Of guardian angels dancing
Surrounding me in there protection
Taking me in
Transparent skies align
Illuminate my soul into
My true fate
Where my body goes to a sand pile
And my soul is revived
Reflective moments
I don’t want them anymore
Like riding out a lightning storm
Without the rain showers
Drowning you slowly but surely
Opaque not for another day
Not walking around with blinders on
Openly accepting what
Was promised to a believer in you lord

Delicate release
All at once
Evaporated
Lingering swells
Envisioning
A sweet ceaseless
Devotion to you
Bottle me up
And throw away
My time capsule
Motionless at sea
Uncharted waters reign
Arsonist
Of my life you’ve done enough harm
Time to blow the flames out
Enough
Of the gallows
That have housed me indefinitely
No more will they
Path of the divine
Show me a better byway
To hell with all this constant
Static and destructive energy  
Pull up the anchor
Put all the criticisms of myself aside
And release me from my sinking ship
Rid me of my decayed baggage
And harmful thoughts
Emotionless indifferences are
Finally settled for good
Let me drift swiftly into your arms
Of forever serenity

A quick, (not) painless way
To abandon all of your struggles.
An attempt to feel special, they say,
While in reality it's so much more.

They say only a coward would do it,
But i tried to take the life
Of the child i once were,
And the adult i could become.

Magnetic
A ugly grin
Not of my canvas
Superman
To my kryptonite
If there’s no tomorrow
Life’s been
A hard pill
To swallow
After all I’m only human
Flesh and bone
Eventually ashes in a box
I’ve felt sick
But that doesn’t even begin to tell
The full story
Cringing in agony
Imaging an alternative universe
More times then not
Overwhelmed
Handicapped by my own mind
I’ve gone head
Too head with thee worst
This so called place has to offer
Thee violent
Mood swings can
Be so brutal
The highest of highs
Quickly become thee opposite
Where’s the middle ground at
A catatonic state leads to
Def con five moments
Straight down the rabbit hole
You begin to fall
Buckle up
Making life hard to navigate
It’s not right by any means of thee
Imagination

Bon voyage
I’ll no longer hesitate
To dismiss
The dystopian urges
Daggers
I can feel the
Pinching of the needles
Over medicating
Stimulating sensations
Embracing me in there hold
Slightly focused
Eyes on the prize
Call off the wolfs
Time is not in unlimited abundance
Each second
Is all so precious
Fulfilling gravity
As the smog dissipates
Today the here and now
What else is there
Tail in hand
Tomorrow will
Never change repeat itself
Stay on the same course
If you don’t allow it too
Like a sponge
The insanity
Eventually has to
Be wrung out
Rearranging the chess pieces
On the board
As hard
As it maybe checkmate
I’m finally
Content to a certain degree
Comfortable in my own way
Fine with my current state of matters
The glass slipper
Finally fits snug
My time capsule
At the edge of the ocean
Bottled up nice and tightly
Won’t be coming back
Setting sail for its maiden voyage
No better time then the present

Hope migrates to
sunny island shores.
There is no sorrow,
roses always bloom,
and the birds of paradise
fly forever free.
The salty ocean
cleanses the rot
from the skin
and the heart.

Held up by a crutch
Counting down thee days
Of my demise
My third eyes dwelling  
Over four decades
Of thoughts and memories
That never fade
Piled up
As they continue to evolve
And escalate to unhealthy levels
What’s real is make believe
A better alternative
Rubik’s cubes
Slowly plucking
Away at my sanity
I lay awake
All times of night
Never knowing which
Way I’ll go as the roller coaster
Takes over
The chemicals
In my body
Feel more like poison
Far from comforting
They paralyze me in my tracks  
Where is the real healing at
My mind
Often miss fires
Short circuits
I feel so depressed and blue
Ready to rip my hair out
The happy thoughts
And pleasures last a moment
If I’m lucky
Are quickly replaced
As the bullets fly like no tomorrow
Emotions that run me ramped
Leave me in shambles
Nine times outta ten
Tainted goods I become
A happy go lucky state exterminated
Dopamine trip no where in sight

Baby steps
Became leaps and bounds
Waking on ambers
As my truth serum
Takes hold
I’ve stared
My own demise
Deeply
Dead in it’s eyes
Of nothing
Numbs me like it use too
The enemies all around
One bullet
In the chamber
I caved at first sight
A pain that knows
No limits would become
A cancer of a lifetime
Cut me from
Limb to limb
A wound without
Relief in sight
Provoked
By evil spirits
Or just plain bad luck
Fell in my lap
I knew from
A very young age
That something was definitely off
Yet I was defenseless
Just a boy
What could I do
Manipulated by the worst
The debt that
Is owed to me
Could never be repaid    
Not in a thousand lifetimes
The surpassing moments
That fell of a cliff
The damage had already been done
And could not be resubmitted
For approval
My halcyon fallen imbecile dream
Quickly evaporated
Lacerated by more wrong doings
Then one should have to endure
Then I’d ever care to admit to anyone