I can’t un-cry your tears
But I promise when the rain comes
I’ll keep you dry
I can’t un-feel your pain
But I can ease it
When you’re lost
Don’t know where to go
I’ll be the shelter
To your flaws
To your heart
Actually
I can’t be any of those things
Why?
Cause I haven’t told you
Told you of every breath you stole from me
All the times I smiled
Hoping you’d see me laugh
Waiting for you to fall for my smile
Like I fell for yours
I haven’t told you
Of the times I almost confessed
Standing at the altar of my fears
Confessing my feelings
So no
I can’t be these things for you
I want to
God knows I want to be
But here I am
Wandering along damp hallways of stone
Laden with things that could be
Can’t be
Won’t be
But maybe might
So I keep my door unlocked but windows barred
That nobody may see inside
But feel free to knock
These walls have been painted over countless times
Covering the stains, dents, and scars
Waiting for someone to come inside
By all means
Please knock
But I beg of you
Don’t ding **** ditch
Too many times I’ve come to the door
An empty space meets my gaze
People that I thought were there
Just weren’t
Maybe you’ll understand then
Why I bar the windows and unlock the door
I can make the outside look good
Not everyone likes the interior
When you come
Stay for as long as you’d like
As you leave
I’ll naively leave the door ajar
If by a miracle                                                        
You choose to come back
Possibly to stay for a little while longer
Should you do so
I’ll be holding a “Welcome back”
And an “I love you”
One hand will hold the door open for you
The other will welcome you back
As for the “I love you”
Well…
I guess we’ll settle for
“Welcome back”

I walk to my desk
With plans to compose a symphony of words
Grandiose words with which
To paint the space before me
But, I cannot
Something pulls at me
I look at this piece of paper
It blinds me
I need to fill the emptiness with something
Anything to allow me clarity
Something to contrast this dull void

Finally

A word appears in my head
Like a surfaced piece of a driftwood
Floating amidst a sea of thoughts
I close my eyes and write
A warmth permeates the air
I open my eyes to see what brought this change

It was your name

The paper was in the shape of a heart
I think the paper is my world
Empty and devoid of life
Until something meaningful is added
That something is you
You fill the void in my heart
My paper heart

I promised to not fall in love with you
You tried to warn me
But the hour was late
We were laughing hard
I felt happy
For the first time in a while
I didn’t want it to end
But every start has its end
I thought I was enough
Enough to make you stay
To make you want me
At least half as badly as I wanted you
Not for the first time…
I was wrong
Wrong to think that I could make you stay
You always found another to give your heart to
And when each one left
I remained
You wanted my love
But didn’t want to love me
I promised not to fall in love with you
That promise was made to be broken

Why is the heart the main reference to love?
I think it would be more accurate and precise
If we were to use our lungs as reference
The way she rips the breath from my lungs
Like a hurricane tearing its way through my head
The sudden inhale you take when you see them
All the moments had in between breaths                            
The moments that leave you gasping for more
More air, more of them
The slow exhale you release after they’re gone
Heavy is that exhale as it carries the last goodbye to their ears
Slowly and painfully drawn out
You know you’ll never breathe the same, if at all
Because they left you breathless

How do you go from being someone's nothing to their everything?
Strangers to soulmates
From not knowing their name
To can't get their face out of your head
I love her brown eyes
Earthy and strong
They keep me anchored
I love the way she smiles
So warm and bright
It hugs my heart
I love the way she holds me
The feeling of a fire on a cold night
Safe
I find sanctuary in her kiss
Every day there's something new to love
I've never loved like this
Beautiful yet terrifying
Cause we know the more you love, the more you could hurt
But I think in a way
I'd love getting hurt by her
It would mean that what we have is real
And I can't wait to love her more tomorrow