Smile at a photo
From 1989
My brother was born
Into my mothers arms
With my father smiling
Proud

Can he feel the warmth of my heart
Reaching him, all the way to heaven?

run upstairs
and cut your arm
open deep and wide
open sweetie look inside
blood vessels spilling cries

I saw you
I'm not afraid
I saw you
Living inside me
I saw you
And I'm not afraid

Blue poison
You sleep in my veins
And memories
Just memory
Drives me insane

Let me live in this place
Let me get to your face

Blue poison
Remember my name

3 grams of
spring green
delivered to the door step
alongside
bright yellow and
blue russet

an unused paint brush
dips into each
and speckles
on glossy paper
turn us into

jackie, jessie,
john
alfred, kate,
and dawn

packaged and sold
as 21 yr old frauds

Ya ever read a book
N think
"**** I'm in this book"
I am Sarah Grimke
Sally from A Nightmare
I am Jodi Picoult's
version of a heroine
But it isn't much a nightmare
But a life so much like mine
Just lacking uncertainty
Regarding fear
Anxiety
These women knew what to do
And I

I feel your mission
I know why you did what you've done
It was so clear, but
for me,
who is my enemy?

I want to hide
Under or in a tub
So long as
You can't find me

Is this my millenial
sloth, gluttony?

We try try try
Nothing becomes of it

You are so drunk and you say that
You're dying
I ask you,
*What is your insurance policy?