I am no longer acquainted with hunger.
This flesh has forgotten his name.
This vessel has lost its way.

We strive for the minimal,
Simplicity is safe.
To be bold is to be vulnerable;
An unsteady state.

𝙸 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞.
𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝙸 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝
𝚂𝚘 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚠𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚔𝚎𝚗 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚜.

𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚘.
𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝
𝚂𝚘 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚠𝚎 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚔𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚟𝚎𝚜.
𝙳𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛.

As you wept
I held you tender and mild
And we exchanged
The role of mother and child

I knew it was coming
But still the voices whispered
“Stop over reacting”
“Your letting it run away with you”
But that voice was silenced

By your silence
The silence that held stone throats
And glassy eyes
The silence that held the suffocating
Tangibility of the truth
Plausible undeniably

The silence that was broken with your whisper
The breath that recklessly gained momentum
Cruel gale force
Beating down on me in its full fury
The small sediments that had fallen prey to the winds
Embed their small bodies into my flesh ripping me apart

Your whisper had created too much collateral damage  

So the voices returned
Rising from the tomb
Offering salvation, my steadfast refuge
They spoke and their gospel caressed my wounded heart

“This is not real”

I want you to melt off me
You burden my shoulders
You are my disease
I cannot live with you
But I cannot make you go
I cannot escape you
You cannot escape me
We are mutually dependant
On the others destruction

The air is thicker than it use to be
It takes too much strength to fill these lungs
Why did they change the way we breathe
Weren’t we trying hard enough

If I rip out my throat
You cannot hear me scream
If I blind your eyes
Can you cannot see me heave
Or my tears, you cannot see me cry

But you have bound my hands
And torn my throat
So you cannot hear my screams
But delight in watching
My contorted mouth cry silent tears

Sometimes I wonder if
My eyes water so much because
My body is trying to cry the tears
My mind won’t let free

We constantly flip the switch
                                  footsteps approaching *
“Hurry”
                                                 “Shhh”
               *flick
They can’t know we live in the dark

Finally,
I have the strength to say goodbye

From this place I come and go
Warring time for absence  
But without fault my flesh begins to crumble
So to this place I return
Begging expression to save me

Nostalgia is a dangerous emotion
It unknowingly saturates our past in colours so vibrant
So we crave time that never existed

We are not scared of death
We are scared of finality
The possibility that we can come to an end
The line of our lives is not
Perpetually drawn
That the world can exist
When we do not
Because at the end of the day
We are all narcissists

I want to write,
but I write what I feel

and I can't feel anymore.

It’s not fair
That you get to live in a world
Where you aren’t broken
By the memories of us
And where you weren’t used
Only For your body
or your touch

some people believe birthdays
are a time of celebration
whilst mine forces me into a
sobering reflection
each year the withdrawal
becomes stronger
for each year my life keeps
falling
apart
and each year i cut my hands
trying to assemble the broken
pieces
of the past

Some people are designed to collide
In union intricate patterns blossom
Within their behaviour

Whilst the reaction of mixing others
Births a toxicity
that leads to an inevitable decay of life

You came to me
With your head held high
Looking down on me
Intoxicated with pride

But now your On your knees
Begging me,
Please

Yes I am a woman
And I refuse to be afraid of my hips
Or the way my body dips
Below my *******
Because I might be trapped again

I refuse to believe
I am only worth one thing
I refuse to believe
that I am only for your satisfaction
Because I am so much more
than this physic
And it is your loss
that you were unable to look past
And see the lion beneath

Why is it we are predisposed
To find the smallest signs
To confirm our worst beliefs

we believe
if we are born again
created from our most beautiful parts
or maybe you want to be born
in a mosaic of your most broken pieces
our lives will change
that this feeling undefined
will leave

but it never does
our life continues with indiscernible flow
even if noting is the same
and it seems
we've lost ourselves in the change

trying everything
every anodyne
to rid ourselves of this feeling'
that leaves its shadow in our eyes
we can not bring ourselves to confront it

I don't know what your shadow is
but I do know
I'm too lost in the change
I've forgotten what mine is

but hes blocked out all the sun

We are only the accumulation
Of the people who surround us
Loosely bound by moral intuition