The sounds of gunfire penetrate our ears,
Ive been training for this day for years,
My trusty steed below me never leaves my mind,
For he knows id never leave him behind,


A clap of thunder bellows the skies,
The glare of fear never leaving our eyes,
My horse is my shield,
The pain that we yield,
Sticking together through fiery fields,


My master is light so its easy to run,
But this journey is far from done,
Bullets have penetrated my side,
Im down on my knees,
Lost all of my pride,

Then he screams out in pain,
My master is dead alone in the rain,
I scramble too my hooves and try to get away,
But its too hard,
All this hurt
All this pain,
The last thing i heard on that dark winters night
Was the flare of a machine gun,
and im out like a light.

Gone are the days where grace lay sleepless,
amiss are the thoughts that transpire the grey.
Begotten the creation of hearts now scattered,
the ink forever bleeding as it seeps through the page.

Nights grew colder as time became wrestless,
each second made longer tormented it ticks.
As her face etched with pain becomes petrified with anger,
the lullaby by which grace sleeps once again.

The nouns that she speaks are lucid and scattered,
trembling at the parting of her lips crimson plead.
Thoughts that prolong the way she's left awoken,
sleeping forever as the hours drip away.

Your body is falling in reverse
As your lips start to tremble,
Each touch a whisper in the wind
Each kiss a word not spoken.

Love is that unexplainable gift,
That seems to fall from the stars unchanging,
You get lost in its tight embrace
And your heart is never the same

When they beat you blind and senceless
And your heart turns forever cold,
Your lips cant speak the words
Even though you need to let go.

You long for the pain to stop
Each blow digging you deeper
Into the fear brimmed hole your trapped in
And the pain only lasts

As long as she sees fit.

Time and time again I find myself,
Repeating the words I often let loose,
From my lips of which a million sonnets,
Speak through ashy remains of fire.

Yet here I am again lost in my own mind,
The touch of the wind forcing me to gain a trust,
Between myself and the nature that surrounds,
Its broken beauty seeping through remnants.

Your heart is that of silver,
Expensive but not quite a golden artwork,
As one I would find in the national gallery,
To feast my eyes upon its rituals.

Yet here I sit upon the ground,
As you stand above me with a gaze of a million kisses,
And I wonder what my life would be this day,
If we hadn't crossed paths the next.

I wonder how much damage you have endured,
And then I look back at my own and realise,
I am a broken mess of forgotten dreams,
A hopeless reality shattered by grace.

Yet here I continue to sit,
The goosebumps trailing my arms like snakes,
An analogy that frightens me,
Just as your love scares me to the bone.

Chance after chance,
Time after time,
I run back to your perfect eyes and charming smile,
Because you help me to forget who I really am.

You bring out my smile and banish my selfish ways,
You allow me to remain myself yet different at the same time,
And I cannot help,
But love you...

as insanity depicts my pride,
I look at you in a way that I can't look at anyone else,
as you are constantly on my mind,
and the droplets fall in a way like never before.

you're heart encases me,
consuming everything I have within its arteries,
each thought becomes more liquefied,
as I try to stop the pain.

"she wouldn't want you doing this"

I tell myself time and time again,
yet still as the capsule slips past my lips,
I find some kind of release in the burning sensation,
that starts to simmer in my throat.

your eyes, I try to picture your eyes...
yet still you are not here for me to see them in flesh,
one look from you and I would stop,
but one look is something you will not give.

relapse...

a pain that cannot be fathomed by a blade,
as you drag it from your elbow to your wrist.
I was a month clean but I can't help it now,
my body is dead.

Pain is a placid thing,
yet somehow it holds a power over me,
but, when I am with you it seems...
... that the hold it has is simply gone.

I can't seem to rendeer the thoughts of my childhood,
as I continue to do the inevitable,
have I slipped back into my old ways...
... Have I gone too far to go back now.

Relapse...

Relapse...

Relapse...

I am sorry I have let you down,
I am sorry that my callous ways are somewhat spiteful,
I may not have much self esteem,
but I know that I am selfish...

was I selfish in my dealings with you?
in the way I handled your gorgeous smile.
not that I recall..
yet I feel as though I have somehow

left, not to be welcomed back,
into you're arms of grace that make me collapse...

drag me out of this pit
save me from this relapse.

if life were really a tree,
mine would be cold,
dead from the frost

the leaves would have fallen
no hint of gold left on there surface
no love
no care

for this tree stands shorter than the rest
its breaths short
quivering in the silent wind

the trunk shrivels,
its bark turned grey
ashy remains through fire

it has burnt its unending river
of scarlet as its trunk is sliced to pieces

all you do is stand and watch
you watch them tear the tree apart
its beauty being lost each second that ticks by

If life were really a tree
you,

are my Tree Surgeon.

The endorphins fill my broken mind,
the bleeding does not cease as the relief overwhelms,
my body convulses at the touch of the knife,
but the feeling is one of medication.

My mind is sick,
only to be healed by the small droplets falling from my wrists,
my pills a mixture of pain and happiness,
my heart beats loudly and my body feels weak

nothing will stop the feeling once it has started
no one will make me wish I had never pierced my flesh
my scars tell a tale of great frustration
years of being battered and left aside

My father non existent,
his replacement would make him choke,
without him I would not have spiralled
into this deep dark pit of depression,

he was abusive by nature but that's no excuse,
he ruined me for 16 years and im still ruined now,
left for dead on the side of the highway
a life saving operation I had rather left me dead,

Coming through the other side,
has yet to happen smoothly
and as I watch his evil eyes,
I collapse , never again to open my mouth

Transient waves form a helpless beauty,
words are refracted and lost in the dust,
your pain is the last thing in there memory,
your heart cannot take the judgement they throw
no constellations
I am battered and cold

Holding back who I really am,
is not something that is going to come easily,
I want to be different,
but at the same time I want to be the same,
I want to love who I please
and hate who I wish to ignore,
but so it is written these things
are not songs to be sung anymore.

I scream inside my steel chamber,
and rattle the bars that have me enclosed,
tears roll down my face as I realise
my feeling must come to a stop
I cannot do this on my own
I need your help
I cry out to the sky

I feel lonely and helpless,
my tears have gone dry,
I fall down to my knees
I cannot ask for what I need
because I do not yet know what exactly it is...
I cry out to the sky again and again

all to no avail;

my blood cascades in rivers
and my heart is placid and cold,
I need not myself anymore or the demons who have overthrown me
I need a faith more relevant than the truth
I need eyes that will see what is left unseen
I need a heart that is open to be healed and made clean

I want to be your child,
your only love forever and a day more
but God, my life is a painful misery of broken sadness
how can I be good enough for you?
How can I be anywhere near what you expect
as I curse myself and scar my lungs
My breaths become thick and bloodshod
I go lame in the frost

Father, forgive me.

Lust is a feeling that we all endure,
pain is a suffering which cannot be ignored,
lift the weight off your shoulders and lay down your strife,
I will listen to you.

My child, put down that knife,
hear my words of wisdom profound,
your body is a temple and will not be torn,
Lay down your life, place it on the ground

For love is not a sin,
and I will pour mine onto you,
my healing salve which utters lyrics,
of sweetest songs on innocent tongues,

you are forgiven of life's mysteries,
For my son gave his life,
fathomed by cruelty,
you are to be helped through the strife,

Poetic words form a helpless beauty,
for which your song must die,
I will give you a new song forever sung,
poured down on you from the sky,

Listen my child and do not boast,
of this love for which I promise,
I cannot tell if you love me most,
or your prized possession, be honest.

Despite your flaws my child I love,
to sing over you each night as you sleep,
My child, put down that knife,
for by my love you must keep.

Droplets of blood form crimson waves,
as you forget to listen for my voice,
but, I will caress your wounds
my child, you have a simple choice

Love yourself as I have loved,
as difficult as it may seem,
and I will reward you with treasures of heaven
at my right hand your made clean.

A Love so infinite and pure,
is the one I wish to give,
my child please don't ignore,
or you will slip through my fingers like a sieve.

Hatred seeps through vicious eyes,
Love like a dream lost forever,
hearts forgotten together,
an ecstacy of broken sadness,
glitter trembles in minds refracted,
Broken tension forgets itself,
lost in the hands of the weary,
never safe in the caress of sin,
for poetry cannot be formed from chapped lips
your fingers ache as words relapse
breath forgets to fill your lungs
your place is gone here,
life begotten through glass shards
piercing the skin to your bones
small drops of crimson leakage
trickle from the crevices of your body,
the pain is unstable and placid
as they tear your heart out
with their bare hands....

Crystallised syllables.
Words fall from harsh tainted lips,
like a syllable of crystallised black,
Caressed at the touch of fingertips,
encouragement seems to lack.

A heart of steel encased within,
the shattered depicted glass,
I pray that you forgive my sin,
End this forever song fast.

Your life is plainly satisfactory,
demeaning in all you do,
waterfalls of crimson refractory
broken, diminished, by you.

Wicked and nocturnal eyes,
return your weary gaze,
reflections hard to visualise,
incentives gone for days.

Leave emotion to drown itself,
in this scarlet river abyss,
place your feelings on the shelf,
and give me one last kiss…

Six feet under,
trapped in a see through glass box,
people can see you,
they can hear you scream,
but they walk by as if they see nothing.

Six feet under,
buried beneath the pain,
hiding under the sorrow,
merciless cries come close to shattering,
the glass in which you are concealed.

Six feet under,
conceited, twisted lies,
cannot be forgotten or lost
hearts forever broken
as you see yourself

Six feet under,
the glass reflects the pain in your eyes
yet your stare is emotionless,
your heart ceases to beat
blood no longer pulses through your veins.

Six feet under,
You forget how to scream,
you lose your sense of sanity,
the glass swallows you up
lost, and always forgotten.

As I walk through shadow, evil presence exudes
Forever surrounding me, deathly the scent of its fumes
My thoughts turn to poison my touch to ice
Cold, damp darkness hiding inside
I hear a tear, I feel a rip
My soul is in agony, tormented it drips
The thoughts that once were proud and profound
Buries itself deep unearthly in the ground
Haunting, withered is my heart
It and I have seemed to grow apart
I care not for the sake of my kin
Cast away compassion, grasping at sin
Night befalls early upon my days
Carrying with it a sense of the gray
While hope for me dangles on a single strand of web
Unholy is the yearning, begging for the dead
Consuming, destroying blatantly a plague
For where I rest it dreams to be vague
How can I find my way through shadow
When I cannot see all that is hallow

What we see and what we hear is never simple,
each syllable a figment of your own stark imagination,
the waves that lap against the shore,
are nothing but a fragmented section in the seeds of time,

Love whispers softly in your ear,
but don't listen to the sweet serenading voice,
this voice will lie to you,
Love doesn't even exist.

Pain will be inflicted upon those who listen,
their hearts will be turned to dust in a split second,
Angels will even turn against them,
there eyes scream a pain so livid.

The imagination is powerful,
each image fractured in the brackets of your brain,
images of him or her, are conceived here,
this is where you are tricked.

you think you will be happy with him,
You long to be confined in her presence,
lies are seeping past the lips of the wicked,
forgotten dreams are mesmerized here.

Do not let it trick you,
block out the enchanting voice,
live in the confines of a four corner room,
then the world can't hurt you.

A heavy summons lies like lead upon me,
Those were his words,
But there meaning deeper than the surface,
The lead a weight upon his shoulders,
Like the burden that's laden on his heart,
Grimaced by the scent of destruction,

Still he holds his head high,
The pain only seen deep in his eyes,
He is weak but stands tall,
His broad shoulders show no slouch,
He is strong in a mental sense,
But physically he has become opaque,
The look in his eyes...
... is what lead to her despair

I fell for her, without even realising it,
A broken ecstacy of forgotten dreams,
Her voice a synthetic melody to my ears,
Her smile a pure yet mellow happiness,

I long for just a glimpse of her,
But knowing that each second we are together,
I fall for her just a little bit more,
When she looks into my eyes the world seems empty.

A wasted obsession forms at my lips,
She knows my weaknesses and plays them,
The silence seams cold,
As she pushes me away,

But poetry cant be formed from a broken heart..

Peaceful minds put at ease,
hearts encased with love,
pain hides in the depths of bodies,
cold to touch.

The hate is irrelevant,
her thoughts no longer include me,
I'm cast aside,
my feelings now mean nothing.

She is still so beautiful,
I feel encapsulated in her presence,
I love her so purely,
so simply.

She loved me once,
in another fleeting world,
but I was deluded,
she used me for a time.

pushed me away when she was finished with me,
now i'm broken,
it hurts to even look at her,
I am finished.

The hollow shells of buildings cower and quake in fear,
skillfully, with shame shaken hands I raise my gun,
my fingers shake, the killing machine rattling in my hands,
I look up, the smoke filled sky glaring down at me.

I wonder of the people who once lived here,
of the bombs dropped upon their roofs,
My body racked with guilt as I stare,
blood trickles down a shattered window pane.

A burning smell fills my nostrils,
I hear cry's, screams of pain and desperation,
A tear rolls down my cheek like a droplet of crimson blood,
the shame and melancholy distress flooding my being.

Rubble surrounds were I stand,
I fall to my knees, the gun slipping from my grasp,
I cry out to the sky, at the top of my lungs.
I can smell gas...

... the thick yellow smoke rushing towards me,
I choke; spluttering out pain filled screams,
my life, a shameful, disintegrated nothing...

A harsh world tainted with hate,
Preposterous politics dominate,

A vindictive place were evil thrives,
Under dark tormented skies,

Persuasive satan sows the seed,
Money forming malicious greed,

Many drawn in and led astray,
Souls are sold without dismay,

Nothing left but senscless fates,
Drawn towards the burning stake,

A blame by witch deterant spoken,
Your repulsive eyes are soon to be open.

The tips of his wings stained a crimson red,
the light drawn from his eyes with his final breath,
a loathsome look upon his shame filled face,
forgetting all his amazing grace.

he's fallen from the tips of heaven to the depths of hell,
the angel his face stained with an auburn glaze,
captured in the battle just lost,
his nobility failing at his own great cost.

they whisper in his ear, the superficial beings,
they speak so mellow yet there words be celestial,
they scrutinise him, tempting his weaknesses,
their ****** eyes divulge his very being.

"Come my son ill give you peace" his father calls from above,
at this his tepid and tedious ways at once are banished,
he takes his fathers effluent hand and he is made clean,
saved from the superfluous for all eternity.

She is evil,
her manipulative ways have warped my mind,
she is evil,
she has caused me to commit an unforgivable regicide,
she is evil,
her heart is stone, and it calls me to be executed,
She is evil,
her lies have made me lost, my sanity to be disputed.


I am evil,
this story has twisted me into a monster,
i am evil,
my body taken over by a ruthless imposter,
I am evil,
corrupted by my blood thirsty hands,
I am evil,
in my wildest dreams - these werent my best laid plans.

He is evil,
my best friend, who fears i have played foully,
he is evil,
isn’t what i’m doing sick and cowardly?
he is evil,
the father who brought out my fatal flaw,
he is evil,
silence! he speaks no more!

The sounds of gunfire penetrate our ears,
Ive been training for this day for years,
My trusty steed below me never leaves my mind,
For he knows id never leave him behind,


A clap of thunder bellows the skies,
The glare of fear never leaving our eyes,
My horse is my shield,
The pain that we yield,
Sticking together through fiery fields,


My master is light so its easy to run,
But this journey is far from done,
Bullets have penetrated my side,
Im down on my knees,
Lost all of my pride,

Then he screams out in pain,
My master is dead alone in the rain,
I scramble too my hooves and try to get away,
But its too hard,
All this hurt
All this pain,
The last thing i heard on that dark winters night
Was the flare of a machine gun,
and im out like a light

Love made to look complicated yet simple,
his last breath, one of joy and not sorrow,
his wife, with child, unaware of his demise,
blood leaks from his head, the greatest is behind,
crushed beneath the wheels of his car,
his wife cradles their new born baby boy,
not yet named, his innocent face held close to hers,
she hears the news, her heart implodes,
her insides turn to nothing,
from happiness to horror in a split second,
she gazes at her baby boy with eyes like his fathers,
tears fall down her face, flawlessly white.
she cries out “Matthew, Matthew”
grief stricken, she stands alone.

I know I have messed up,
that my apologies are empty and placid,
I know sorry is not enough,
for the pain that I have visibly caused.

my reasoning is obscure,
for nothing within me is simple,
fleeting hearts are broken into fragments,
as my words were spoken.

I truly am in love with you,
weather you believe that this is true,
I know that the way it looks,
is that I have been unfaithful to you.

I know that I have lied,
my reasoning unrecovered,
I am sorry, for hurting you,
let me make amends?

allow me to explain my love,
to me this was no game...
I loved you whole heartedly,
without a glance or question.

so allow me to explain to you,
where my heart does truly lie,
because with you I am madly
truly
deeply...
in love...

Peaceful minds put at ease,
hearts encased with love,
pain hides in the depths of bodies,
cold to touch.

The hate is irrelevant,
her thoughts no longer include me,
I am cast aside,
my feelings now mean nothing.

but she is still so beautiful,
I feel encapsulated in her presence,
I love her so purely,
so simply.

She loved me once,
in another fleeting world,
but I was deluded,
she used me for a time.

She pushed me away when it suited her,
now i'm broken,
it hurts to even look at her,
I am finished.

Her name leaks truth,
an outer beauty oblivious to human eyes,
but a beauty within is found in the depths of her heart,
delve deeper into her mind and find a writer,
an artist careful of how she crafts her words,
a voice of obsessing lovers,
she creeps into the back of my mind.
what is so wrong about our names entwined within a love heart?
an ethereal sense of desire overwhelms me when I am with her,
wrong but right,
an angel in the eyes of many,
never to be forgotten...