I saw myself today
Standing on the plains
The sky was grey
And the breeze smelled of rain
Tall grass brushed against my legs

I turned and saw myself
Asking why I came
My answer was a smile upon my face
Electricity coursing through my veins
My breath a part of the day
Giving life and letting go of every pain

I saw myself today
Sitting in a storm by a single tree
The winds never disturbing the place
Laughter on my lips
Sadness in my eyes
Questions and answers dancing happily
While I rest

I saw myself today
Having nothing and everything to say
On the grassy plains
I let the scene slide
Knowing it's where I reside
Where heaven and earth collide.

The stools are hard
And the counter soft with treated wood
Metal trashcans turned over for tables
An unfinished game of checkers in the corner
Faint scent of burning frankincense
A group stands around outside
There is a bonfire tonight
They laugh and joke
Forgetting life for a little while
With a pint in hand and smiles grand
While you and I sit inside
Tasting a new ale that's come around
Watching the clouds come in
You complaining over the match
An old game but somehow your city lost
I nurse a bitter ale though it's quite nice
Enjoying the voices of this small town
We toast like they do in your home
Nazdarovya!
To our health

A wound not always seen
Or thought of seriously
Multitudes of colors for a clot
Red at the first pain,
Blue for the fresh,
And violet when it stains,
Green when it begins to die,
And yellow as it fades

Mine has started to ache
The blow was harsh
But the tears have passed away
I wish it were bruise
That I could ice and care for gently
But the pain runs deep
Not in the body but in my spirit
It took a beating the other day
It's been weary anyway

An assortment of colors I'll be
A box of crayons for anyone who looks deep
Perhaps instead of the ache,
I'll draw and paint
Make use of my colors
And find a blank page.

I've walked the desert
Through the dust and barren seas
I've dreamed of water
On the hottest days
I've felt the hot winds on my face
As tumbleweeds scratched my legs
I've wished for relief as my skin bakes
Wondering how much I can take
Today I collapsed
The desert had claimed too much
I laid in the dust,
Watching the sun pass
Burning my tears
I laid until the moon appeared
It told me to get up
My body feels weak
And incomplete
The desert has drained me
And now has come to rescue me
From certain defeat

I dripped tonight
Slid down the way
Warm little drops
Wet and sweet
Didn't realize they were there
Till I felt them run down my face
Wondering why they came
Knowing they've been at bay

Strands bound tight in a double helix
They unravel and copy every day
Thousands of generations in you
Why your eyes are blue or your skin a certain hue
A, T, G, C
Let me tell you of their blend,
A is always fated with T though sometimes T becomes U,
G is always with C no matter if another letter saunters by saucily.
It's tricky when we say why we love or why we dream to name a gene
Scientists argue if it's all you'll ever be
Two parents giving 50% each
It's a long name DNA
I won't name it here, I'll save the space
Instead I'll say as one whose watched it replicate
It makes mistakes and sometimes that isn't great
It's a marvelous thing and I can see why we never truly die
Some person you never knew is directly responsible for you
Despite its beauty I've noticed one thing,
In all its complexity it only partly describes you
It will long live after you die
Maybe giving your great grandkids freckles in an odd place
But it doesn't say why you loved or laughed
It may say why you were prone or not
But that's all it can say
These words here do that more than that
DNA is a wonder and I've studied it till my head ached
But I'd rather read what you have to say
Because that's our condition
DNA will continue long after you and me
But your mind is a horrible thing to waste

Dark and damp
A cube, five by five
Squirreled away from the light of day
Locked away
For protection
For who I cannot say
A child or a monster
Probably both
Pandora why did you shut the box?
Left in my care
Only one remains
Locked in each of us,
For another day
Hope wasn't let out to play
She stays inside the little box
Prisoner to us
I wonder if she despises us
For keeping her contained
I would release her
But this box of mine doesn't know how
So I'm opening the door
Letting child and monster see inside
The horrors and wonders hope provides

Mountains, cover me
Sands upon my sleeves
Take me down to the sea
My sails of sleep
Let my burdens drown
Down to the watery deeps
Let my soul run free
Up to the mountain peaks
Snowy caps, cover me
To my knees
Cold air grant sweet release
I'm coming down
Where the ground rises up to meet
The sky and ocean black
Sparks set free
Fires, cover me
One more round
Of air in my lungs
Battle worn and ready now
Cover me until I'm complete

Grey setting in
Turning darker with each passing wind
Blotting out the sun
Winds raging in
Bending grass and trees thin
Agitated clouds taking in dry air
And dusty winds
Storms of breath is all it is
Grounds meeting skies that bend
I'd rather stormy skies
Then sunny days and shallow winds
I don't know why
Been that way since I was a little tyke
Grey skies grant my eyes,
Sweet relief and breath of life
Empty your skies on mine
Rains dance with me,
Thunder provide the beat,
Lightning make me see.

In my hallowed keeps I roam
Never knowing if the path I'm on is right or wrong
Only discovering when I step on
It is both and none,
Libraries of old
Holding stories never told
Walking the halls and rows
My cup overflows
As I drink from what I've always known,
My soul is busting these bones
I know I'm heading home
The compass points north
To the lands in which I've grown
As my journey grows
I write the unseen and untold
For anyone to see
It's time the stories are told
The oracles speak and minds are set free
Settle down and listen
To the Storyteller who has come to wake you from sleep.

Small enough
Gentle love
Rescued from the dust
Finding warmth in my thoughts
Little life
Burning strong
Connecting me with what I lost
Snuffed out so quick
Six inches deep
My love won't die at any cost
Ashes in the breeze
Named for birth and release
Ashes bringing home to me
In a mouse so small.

A thousand days
Followed by a thousand nights
Callused hands and silk ties
Each a different journey of the night
Scabs and names becoming all the same
Three hundred more
Whistling a song at the door
A simple melody
Of a hundred scores
Carried in every lore
Another night
How nice
I look up high and see the sky
Smiling wide
I whistle for each life
Each in my mind
I'm becoming whole tonight.

In the dark,
Candles whisper
Smoky fingers of a lovers embrace
Heartbeats thunder,
Happenings of the heart play in beautiful twisted ways,
Day is a passing memory
A season of warmth forgotten until it returns,
Monsters lurk in the shadows
But they're scared of the creatures of the sun

In the dark,
The stars remind us we are dust
It releases the mind from its tethers
Madness and freedom at our fingertips
If it wasn't for the dark
We wouldn't see the stars
Would we think our dust is all we are?
Pins of light
So far away
Of another place
To remind us to cherish our speck of dust amidst the space.

Last to leave
Never to break
Swirling the drain
It's not okay
But the lie remains
The lives of others come first today
Don't break
The world's not that kind of place
I don't remember if I ever didn't feel this way
I'm tired
And I've only begun the race
I despise my face
It lasts every poker game
Life granted me solidarity
My personality looks complete
Denying what I feel underneath
I'm breaking tonight
I don't want to see
I'm tired but it's not up to me
I'm looking for my strength
It's eluding me
A race to the end
Of the mask versus me.

In the shade the desert ground is blessed
In scars survival fights
In broken ground life is sewed
In storms water is split
What is pure was distilled
What is life but a healing wound
Broken hearts and souls
Empty grief within
The cracks let strength grab hold
The end isn't coming
The beginning has just rung in
Broken vases
Has made you see
Just shells hiding are we
Set down the burdens and you'll be free.

Levels and the layers grow
Rings running me down
Honestly I gave in long ago
The cusp of the hole you're sitting at
Is a lie of what the dead have said
Subjectivity is objectivity in shadow form
Five senses all colored in different glows
I hold my blows
Never wanted to be the one to bring it crashing down
But you're calling me from your mighty throne
A paradigm of empty minds
Asking for honest truths from my very soul
A stranger who I don't know
Asking me for blood down in my core
Shatter the plains
Burn castles to the ground
I bring my sword out now
I'll drag you down the hole of questions with no bounds
Empty your soul
Bare bones
Ask me for honesty and I'll shake it down
Can you handle the sounds?
The darkness all around?
You wore me down,
Now I'll no longer protect you from the hole
Welcome to your new home
Truth and absolutes, black and white
Lies you never learned kept you in check from the battle within.

Jasmine leaves
Blended into tea
Fragrent scents of the day
Petals white or gentle pink
Dragons teeth
Sewed scrupulously
For war someday
Fields in bloom
What will they be?
Dragons teeth
Come to slay you and me
Or Jasmine leaves
Whispering in the steam

Visiting on a summer breeze
Knocking on the wooden door
Knowing I'll always answer
Carrying scents of salty seas and earthy flames
Dusk hazes your eyes while the stars keep you alight
Smile of a thousand suns
You ask me to stay
To hear the crickets play
Longer days are your symphony
The nights my delicate tapestry
Sitting on the horizon with me
My passing love
My sun among the skies
I'll shine bright in the night
Until you come to visit again
And we can enjoy the silence on the shores of the midnight sun.

I empty myself
Let the cup run dry
As the goddess speaks
She promised me
It's what keeps my dreams
My dusty feet are worn
And I search for relief
She answers me
With wreaths and answers I can hardly surmise
The great divide makes it hard sometimes
Remember us! They plead
I emptied myself last night
Waiting for the goddess to arrive
She came right on time
What draws me is her connection to me
The shapes and colors I see
The ones that resound with me,
Are where I need to be
For this long hike into eternity.

I'd love to hear freedom ring
Not with flags and anthems playing
But with afternoon rains and poetry
With pleasant ease
No future or past weighing in
Bodies just a simple vase to hold what's within
No oppression busting bones
Mind clear like crystal stones
Imagination left to soar like it was meant to be
No limits to be achieved
Freedom is hard won
The soul begs to be released
The mind demands to be free
The body craves comforted peace
Listen to the silent pleas
Let freedom ring
Let it ring for all of humanity.

Where the endless sea goes
Black sands stretch down the coast
And skies darken just right
The moons shine and the stars glow,
Where massive trees stand in time
Mountains shoot upwards, so cold
Hills lie down in gentle rolls
Forests grow in vast groves
This is home.

Where creatures fly
Buildings made of wood and stone
Streets so old clocks would die
People not bent to time,
Where my family goes
Every time we come home
With timber and marble stones
A hearth warm and embers gold
This is home.

Where my soul roams
Wandering shores and mountain sides
Never feeling lonely or out of line
Healing myself in the skies,
Where I go when tiredness has come
When I feel old
Settling back in with those of my kind
An essence shared for all of time
This is home.

Sprawling hills interspersed with trees
Ah it felt like home
Like driving down a barren road
Cities aren't for me
Don't get me wrong
I like the hustle and faces I see
But I'll take the quiet land
No matter the nation it is,
I call the country home
From the cliffs of Gibralter
To the ruins of Gobekli Tepe,
And back round to the massive Red Wood trees,
I'll roam
Down to the burning sands of Berber lands,
I'll stay in the country
Leave the cities to the people
And listen to the trees.

Skin with skin
Holding tight like it was the last night
Said you sleep better when I'm by your side
I ward away the sleeplessness
And demons of the night
You watched me breathe
Worried when I shook
Little did you know,
I had my own battle to fight
My peace that warmed your eyes
Was something earned every night
I never asked for you to hold me tight
But I needed it all the same
When the demons of the night come
I'll help you fight them off
I've been to this place
The demons know my name
War leaves scars
I know
I'll stay by your side
When the day comes I lose my fight
I hope you'll be by my side.

A dream or nightmare I wonder to this day
Since I was young it's come to me
A man unlike any other haunts me
He changes form and so do the scenes
It's inception with turning streets and buildings with twisting peaks
In one he is fat,
Smooth like supple flesh
His weight deadens the air making it difficult to breathe
My limbs are heavy and I cannot run
The sound may be the worst
It dulls my ears as the drum beats down to my very bones
This slow torture is only relieved by another horror,
The man changes
He is no longer smooth and plump
He is tall and porous
Crackled like hollow bone
He is dry and his skin is brown
He is quick and chases me
Our surroundings crumble
Sharp, piercing sounds tear through my ears and jaw
This change may occur several times
The textures and sounds battling my mental grounds
At four this dream was frightening
At twelve this dream was a familiar fright
At seventeen the dream began to morph
At twenty it would paralyze me
At twenty-three I stood my ground and didn't flee
At twenty-five it haunted me in the moments before I fell asleep
Now my hands and legs become foreign to me in twilight sleep
A reoccurring dream
It's grown with me
I wonder if I'll ever figure what it means.

My mind spins
Like a wayward top
Drifting towards the edge
The table no longer makes sense
Life is a masquerade
Why did I come to play?
My hollowed heart whispers to me
Its cup never filled yet often used
The light is dim
My eyes are no longer content
It's all fuzzy now
I've lost the sheet
Blocking eternity from me.

To my back sit the stars
Under my feet lie the clouds
An endless staircase rises both ways
I breathe the clouds
I feel the void on my neck
Sit with me on the steps
Talk a while
Labors of my love came today
And I had to go away
Do not grieve the loss
It was always meant to be
I'll return to the skies
Where walls of captivity cease to be
Change has arrived
Birthing pain of a new day
It is growing late
The stairs go both ways
I sit on the steps
My final wait
Weaving stars and galaxies.

I rarely write for others to see,
The extent of the darkness in me
How do I convey a monstrosity?

Dreams plague me
Most I could never repeat
Though they wake me from sleep.
I've seen the world burn a thousand times, it's brighter than any day
I've seen hate and men with twisted smiles on their face,
I've felt the spray of blood on my face and breathed the odd metallic taste
Dreams from which I cannot wake
A broken videogame I'm set to play.

I've been promised terrible things
Under the guise of truth hope was crushed in disgrace
My youth wasn't long to stay.
I write not in self pity or complaint
It has made me stronger than I thought I could be and made me who I am today
My words aren't always pretty to say.

Lovers and friends will come and go,
If they're true perhaps they'll stay.
The difficulty of today will pass,
Try not to wear its stains.
In the dark I've seen the other side,
Know when I say it'll be alright,
I've gone to hell and back to make that claim.

I like to write
Sometimes I stay up all night
Maybe it's an obsession
Or I spend too much time inside my head
It's always been my place to go
The silence never bothered me
In fact I never heard it at all.
My mind has gotten full
So now I come to express
All the thoughts dancing in my head.

String me up till my skin is taut
Move my limbs like paper things
A charade in a child's parade
The Library's afternoon puppet show
All the children are welcome to play
Bodies bigger than they used to be
Paying bills and buying groceries
Mechanical workings guide my days
Strings pulling sinews every week
But I never forget
This is puppet theatre
And I'm in a play
My child moves me
In the streets and in the bureaucracy
Taking joy in her puppet
That's all grown up
She still sees this as play
And she is not wrong
Sticks and strings with frilly things
Adults are puppets
The child guides as is only right
Do not deny yourself the pleasure
Of the child inside
Children remember what we lost in the Library's mytic shelves and keeps
And remind us every time we forget we're in a play on theatre day.

I turned to see their distant faces,
My heart wanted to call out to them.
In my soul, family is all
But this is not home
And this blood is not mine to behold.
I long to hear them and belong with those supposed to be home
But they are not,
My soul reminds me every time.
My blood I know is home
But today, in this life
The ones of this flesh are not home,
Though I love them dearly
I know this red that flows
Only runs here.
Some day I'll go home
My blood will call to me,
And my aching soul will answer,
"At last I'm home."

Cast upon the wall
In plaster and stone
Beauty written in sage's scrolls
Sirens calling out in a distant drone
Fools in love
Wise learned long ago
It is worth the tears to hear the heart's song.

Rivers run
Winding through willow groves
Casting light on the setting sun
Tears of dying light
Settle on horizon's night
Oceans come
As comets run
Tails of bliss to kiss the sun
Of glory's day
How simple it has become
Go down where the river runs
Bathe yourself in tears of those gone
Bits of light grace your eyes
A cycle of time
Through you it all comes to life.

Why do they hurt?
A morning of overwhelming ache
Of the day ahead
Cleansed with a shower
But the voices never fade
Afternoons bright with light
I've always hated mid-day
The evening brings some peace
But the fear of night lurks
Relax enough as eyes grow dim
Sleep permits some fitful peace
Dreams and nightmares await
The best go far the worst further
3 am wakes with a sweaty start
A song or a voice of another brings relief
The next few hours are a coin flip of sanity
By dawn the battle has wore me weak
From restless sleep
The twilight mists disappear
And the cycle begins again
There must be sweet release.

When the years have passed
After they have torn me apart
When I look down
And see my bloodied feet
I'll sit down and sleep
My wandering days no more
Or so I hope
Home is waiting
And I've been longing
For a place to rest my weary soul.

Vapors of breath coalesced as dew
Crisp pain sears the chest
Cold breath in the night
How I wish for some warmth tonight
A weight pressing down
Is this my dying sound?
Breath escaping in silence now
The burden of these days and nights
Proof of growth or pain, I don't know
Sensitivity blind
I am afraid and it's been heavy as of late
I look up at night
So the stars will blind
The cold inside

My lungs bent the air
Making my breath come and go
The blood in my veins runs like water
My heart bent it through my body
My bones stand like stone
They bend my knees to the ground
The fires of my mind burn bright
In imagination I've made the sky.

I was given my name
At the beginning of this charade
One for the dead
Another for a babe
The last is rarely said
But I'll answer to it all the same
Though it doesn't always make sense
It's my passage on this ship.