A dream or nightmare I wonder to this day
Since I was young it's come to me
A man unlike any other haunts me
He changes form and so do the scenes
It's inception with turning streets and buildings with twisting peaks
In one he is fat,
Smooth like supple flesh
His weight deadens the air making it difficult to breathe
My limbs are heavy and I cannot run
The sound may be the worst
It dulls my ears as the drum beats down to my very bones
This slow torture is only relieved by another horror,
The man changes
He is no longer smooth and plump
He is tall and porous
Crackled like hollow bone
He is dry and his skin is brown
He is quick and chases me
Our surroundings crumble
Sharp, piercing sounds tear through my ears and jaw
This change may occur several times
The textures and sounds battling my mental grounds
At four this dream was frightening
At twelve this dream was a familiar fright
At seventeen the dream began to morph
At twenty it would paralyze me
At twenty-three I stood my ground and didn't flee
At twenty-five it haunted me in the moments before I fell asleep
Now my hands and legs become foreign to me in twilight sleep
A reoccurring dream
It's grown with me
I wonder if I'll ever figure what it means.

My mind spins
Like a wayward top
Drifting towards the edge
The table no longer makes sense
Life is a masquerade
Why did I come to play?
My hollowed heart whispers to me
Its cup never filled yet often used
The light is dim
My eyes are no longer content
It's all fuzzy now
I've lost the sheet
Blocking eternity from me.

To my back sit the stars
Under my feet lie the clouds
An endless staircase rises both ways
I breathe the clouds
I feel the void on my neck
Sit with me on the steps
Talk a while
Labors of my love came today
And I had to go away
Do not grieve the loss
It was always meant to be
I'll return to the skies
Where walls of captivity cease to be
Change has arrived
Birthing pain of a new day
It is growing late
The stairs go both ways
I sit on the steps
My final wait
Weaving stars and galaxies.

I rarely write for others to see,
The extent of the darkness in me
How do I convey a monstrosity?

Dreams plague me
Most I could never repeat
Though they wake me from sleep.
I've seen the world burn a thousand times, it's brighter than any day
I've seen hate and men with twisted smiles on their face,
I've felt the spray of blood on my face and breathed the odd metallic taste
Dreams from which I cannot wake
A broken videogame I'm set to play.

I've been promised terrible things
Under the guise of truth hope was crushed in disgrace
My youth wasn't long to stay.
I write not in self pity or complaint
It has made me stronger than I thought I could be and made me who I am today
My words aren't always pretty to say.

Lovers and friends will come and go,
If they're true perhaps they'll stay.
The difficulty of today will pass,
Try not to wear its stains.
In the dark I've seen the other side,
Know when I say it'll be alright,
I've gone to hell and back to make that claim.

I like to write
Sometimes I stay up all night
Maybe it's an obsession
Or I spend too much time inside my head
It's always been my place to go
The silence never bothered me
In fact I never heard it at all.
My mind has gotten full
So now I come to express
All the thoughts dancing in my head.