I watched myself die that night
I watched my mother cry
It broke my heart to see her so

I struggled to get free
But the red dirt wouldn't let me go
I was trapped
Left to travel this strange place

When I demanded to be freed
He said I was dead and to leave it be
If I wished to leave this place
I must accept that I am no longer me

I looked at my mother
Frightened to leave her alone
But I couldn't return
And I was tired of the red
So I admitted I was dead

I found release
Until I woke
And thought what a strange dream
A few years have passed since

I see now the dream was true
I died that night
I didn't return
The girl I was died to the woman I became

I don't know if this person is better than the one before
She's hard and complex in many ways
My mother lost her daughter to me
I've been trying to reclaim my simpler days

Futile hopes woven into passing dreams
Choking on these words
They're smoother than they used to be
The darkness is no longer a shadow to me

I died that night
But I didn't realize it until today
I must have been a zombie.

I've written it this way
The words don't rhyme
The sentiment isn't kind
And the lines don't lie.
I've been told sorrow is in my eyes
It once bothered me but now I see.
I don't always wear the mask
I've thrown it out tonight
I'm looking forward with both eyes.
The world has gone awry
It doesn't surprise me
I think it should but there's something wrong with my eyes.

Fear sits at death's door
I sat and talked with him tonight
He's been busy as of late
Said it's falling apart every day
I asked if death had a moment to spare
And he let me inside.
I watched him with hollow eyes
As he sharpened a knife.
He took my eyes last time
Left me with these glass eyes.
"Tired of seeing this way?" He asked.
I nodded but said I'll keep them anyway
While I looked at my eyes.
Brown and gold with a hint of green glistening in the light.
They're watching a collapsing place
Long gone are dignity and grace.
Don't think me unkind
But my eyes, they know it's time.

A swath of fabric worn and old
Patches upon patches
The shoulders worn beyond repair
No protection from the bitter cold
Hardly a coat to protect the little man
Who hurries along the cobbled streets
Of his cold and clouded city
A denizen of little want
Serving mother Russia with little pay
Harldy enough to buy a new cloak
He douses his candles to save them
And steps lightly to save his shoes
To buy a new cloak to keep him warm
A necessity giving hope in his dreary life
Brightening his mood
He steps out in his new cloak
That he scrimped and saved for a year
Feeling like a rich man in his warmth
A few days of happiness bought
A great expense for a lowly man
Taken by harsh men of ill repute
So broken was the little man
He died very soon
Haunting the people of his city
For the cloak taken from him.

I write in my dreams
Remembering only lines when I wake
Stay away, yells one voice
Another laments some pain
Some speak riddled words
Or passionate rants
The voices fill my mind
I think myself crazy sometimes
But they're all mine
I've given them names
Each a companion of mine
Some are terrifying,
I recommend to keep that in mind.
This morning I woke with one thought in mind
From my dreams in the night
Hellish though they were
I can sum them up in one line.
Watch the sun, it's coming up and about to shine on this field of poison vines.

Black or blue
Iridescent feathers shimmering through
Scavengers with a noble walk
A raven squawk

Beauty in the sun
As it rearranges pebbles just for fun
A trickster, an omen of insight or ill
Beak meant to pierce old kills

The raven den was empty here in
But they still squawk
On a pole watching the world go
Looking for a shiny stone in the empty roads

Laughing without stock
To their friends and enemies aloft
Intelligence in their eyes
Claiming more than mere sight.

A whirlwind that demands attention
Overwhelming all in its path
A gentle breeze is swept away
To a tornado of fierce solipsism.

Living a life overrun by storms
Emotions of a dangerous form
Never finding shelter
Always torn from the healthy norm.

Can't you see what you've done to me?
Grown but still bracing myself
From winds I can't outrun
I can't yield to them anymore.

These feelings are yours
I don't give a **** anymore
I've knelt too long to your storm
I love you still but this raging sea does not command me like the child before.