I am lonely.
Nobody but me.
My music, books, and youtube videos.
That's all I have.
Nobody to see, they all have plans.
They do not respond to my messages, they do not check up on me like I do with them.
I take it as a sign, I back off, and block them out of my life.
Delete, and cut.
What is the point of having "friends" when you're still left alone each and every day questioning why your existence is even still worth it.
I would be nothing, do nothing, see nothing; Without music.
That's all I have.
This daunting presence of sickening thoughts.
I don't have money....
Nothing.
What can you do in this world if you don't have money.
The only way to see your friends is by having money.
If not, no one is around.
No one will make time for you.
No one will try to come and see you.
No one, but my empty miserable soul.

They want to take me away, stop them.
SAVE ME.
Take me away from here, don't let me be trapped by the monstrous screams and the cruel energies, these dark demons in the disguise of humans...
I'm scared, they all know me, my power, my potential.
They out to get me, take it away from me.
I need to stay hidden in my web, I cannot let them get me.
Take me away from here, they watching me...
Every step I take, an inch away, eyes like a prowl of evil tears wanting what I have within me.
SAVE ME.
I hate this cage...
They won't leave me alone.
I feel alone, so trapped and lost in the darkness that foresees to my aching soul.
The misery, it's unescapable, no one to bleed on, but me.
I feel it consume my entire being.
A being of lost hope, nothing to attain but a spiral of washed away rotten skulls and souls yearning for something they do not have.
LOVE.
Stop staring, stop lurking, stop talking.
Faceless facades all around me whispering echoes that trail through the windy atmosphere.
I am not safe.
I sleep with eyes wide open.
Armored with protection.
The people here, they are bad.
Lingering around waiting like lost causes to see my next move.
I need to get out.
TAKE ME AWAY FROM HERE.
SAVE ME

Dread, boredom, hate, pain.
No needles, no fixing.
Nothing to bend the pain, nothing to distract.
Swivelled in chaos.
music to distract me from it all.
Nowhere to go, nowhere to run.
Videos that only take me to escapism, but nothing more.
Confusion, the boredom consumes my entire being, there is no cure.
Dissatisfied profusely, my form to mental destruction.
Where is the light?
What do I do?

I want to go, escape, fall, bind, jump, and leap.
I want to fall viciously in love, so much so that nobody can take me out of it.
Run through the forest, into my dreams.
Escape this world, and let myself fall to the ground.
I want to feel you, feel it.
I want flowers, and drugs too, designer perfumes, fine clothes and shoes.
I want your presence, your soul, your mind, your spirit.
I want this love ....
I want you

People, mere puppets that I ruthlessly use as a distraction, to escape.
Escape from the pain, the misery, the loneliness, the constant aching explosion of boredom that eats on my itching flesh.
Too detached, yet so attached, what is it that I need?
My loneliness  is unwanted toxicities of distractions that bring me no joy, no purpose, no belonging.
Lost in the chaos, I have become this destructive madness.
Sin is me, I have nothing yet to become, to see.
I have seen enough, I want away from this world.
The bitterness is eating me alive like a starved hyena that wails like a crying baby.
Let me go, let me leave, let me sleep, let me never wake up from this delusional dream.
People are my puppets, but I would rather not play.
Leave them before they leave me, stay the **** away.
Let me die alone, hate me for eternity.

Alone, lost, trapped, stuck, held in by these false and unfair delusions.
I don't know where my home is, or where I come from, but I am immensely drawn to cats and birds.
I was sent on a mission, on a purpose, and it is the loneliest life I live.
Since I could remember, I have been fighting the battle alone, being a messenger from higher dimensions and spreading knowledge only I know. Awakening those on earth, spreading justice.
Humans are threatening, scary, and cruel.
It gets painful, I hurt with every aching cell in my body.
But through all that pain, many lessons were learnt.
More knowledge was invested, and more strength was established.
I am looking for those who are also on a mission, I am looking to reach out to the ones who don't feel like they belong here.
This life is lonely, I have nobody.
Maybe we can connect and communicate together.
Please reach out.

The cups keep pouring, the drinks keeps sipping, the people keep talking, the night keeps blazing.
Through all that I am to do, to become, to manifest, to transform.
Dissolving all that is lost, not seen, the stance of it seems forbidding, disillusionment and escapism.
Never knowing the way out, the way in seems confusing, conflicting to what I can never achieve.
I think through all the pain, that it is worth it and that I will find the light and stay in it forever, yet, I hide, not knowing how to display my forefront.
Hidden, private, yet open to all that I am.
Hiding in this shadow, misunderstood by false illusions.
I am to die, or maybe I am not.
My mind of jitter, I hope I am never to be lost after I am found, if I will be, to not be so alone.