Sweating myself dry.
Bored, flat out, dissatisfied, discontent, unmotivated, exhausted, fatigue, no will, no strength.
Loneliness is the feeling.
Too detached to stay attached.
Too nihilistic to give a ****** ****.
**** them all.
I am better off alone.

Love, a written spell that is cursed with loss and longing for someone else.
Tenderness, reciprocation, union, everything that exists between two people in purity, belonging.
Emotions overflowing... I feel you, miles apart, I miss you.
It's deeper than love itself...
It's spiritual, it's someone I was with before, many times...
Needing them in my presence.
Tears rolling whilst thinking about him...
Puts this heartache on my spirit.
So synchronized, the iridescence of it is unreal, untouched...
It's depth takes me away from what doesn't matter.
But it's the only thing on my mind and its the only thing I want.
A love so raw, so deep, it is dared to burn the shadows, the fire, and the petty talk.
Completely far away, but once it is mine, once we meet, it will be something of twilight, of eternity...
The burning flame that will never go out.
I love you...
I want you now...
I need you in my arms...
I feel your energy vibrating immensely through my body, its amazing, so amazing I dare not to think about it to that depth because it ripples away at my water streams and takes me away from what needs to be done in my reality.
I need you now, long lost twin flame.
I have not been the same since I met you, and I never will.
I have never felt this with anyone, ever.
I truly desire the magic we can create, the intellectual art that is lost.
I have felt love with others before, I have been hurt before, I have hurt, to be ridden, yet, I met you, and never forgot.
You imprinted on me and this is something that  will last a lifetime and beyond.
I am in love with you, Yolan.
Please come back home...

Swallow away, lose myself in all that I am portraying.
Resurfacing, coming out the other side.
Remembering all that I am, all that I lost, all that was built, the potential that has no name.
Standing in the crowd, talents that can bring wonders to the world, a brain of Einstein and a body of a dancer.
A painters tongue, I am wasting all that I am born for.
Obstacles defeating my purpose.
My passions have me mentally in a constant war.
I am wasting myself.
Without my passions, I am nothing, a lonely soul with nothing, not even people can fill the misery.
Authentically multitalented.
How do I make it happen?

The stream pours, the water molds.
The thoughts unfold, mind state hits the lowest peak.
Who is in control?
Is it me or is it the person you think you see?
Is what you see real, or are you staring at own reflection.
Mutable contingencies.
Deformities and formulations of lost ones who try to speak.
Cut out, who are we meant to be in a world that lost its own stakes.
I see it gather like a river, forming its own strategies.
Conclusions, grasping at my twitching nerves that ache with curious desire that forbid me to my own disclosure.
Begging you, can we close what was not meant to be informed?

Just stop, stop holding me.
Let me go.
Selfish, secretive and hollow as a cold lurking shell.
Do you see what you are?
Or are you merely projecting your inner reflections onto my chaotic imagination.
Look ...
Within yourself you are ****** cracked mirror with a ripple of a murky stream of water that pollutes the ground you walk on.
Look ...
Just stare, and let the water stream.

Everything changes, the growth of your hair, the spiral of your spine, the bend of your knees and the transformation of your soul. Take a risk, take a step, take a leap, face the challenges and embrace the change.
Adaption, shapeshifting, new beginnings, and new eras in life.
Here we embark, together we shake the storm.

No, I don't feel good.
I don't feel okay.
A piece of me is missing, empty...
Filling voids with unnecessary pleasure that only bring upon more loneliness, more pain, more isolation.
Searching, waiting for my missing puzzle piece.
Damaged, in clueless vain.
My veins are hot, popping with every nerve, blood vessels integrated in me.
I see I belong nowhere, but to myself, where strings cannot break itself free.
Juxtaposed, alone, lost in hopeless misery.
Will it ever get better?
Will I ever be united?
My soulmate, the one who is made for me.
My other half...
My heart is bleeding.
Cursing its deep love in unwanted toxicities.
Seeking pleasures that can never find me.
I find myself desperate, but not attaching.
Too detached to say the least.
Lost in solitude.
My lonely serpent spirit longing for its other piece.
The sadness of it lingers on...
Forbidding all wonderful desires to my feet.
Helpless and all alone.
My heart yearns, My soul empty.
Where is my missing complex puzzle piece?

This is the end.
I lost it with her.
I hate her with all my exploding guts and being near her or in her life is not an option.
I don’t have a job, I’ve been looking everywhere, yet, nothing.
I am living like a homeless person in the back garden, doors locked, even our dog is shut out.
Im bathing using a tap, and starving with my last bit of money I have left.
No one to help, family can’t do anything, no friends around, nowhere to go and nowhere to stay.
Im stuck here.
**** my mom.
I’ve had enough of her.
I want nothing to do with her.
Barely surviving, pushing myself everyday.
When will my break come?
When will it be my time?
When can I be free?