You were the earth that crushed me in your roots..

You were the wind that took my breath and never gave it back..

You were the fire that burned every chance that was given..

You were the water that proved that you showed no solid stance..

The language of your love has shown an unfamiliar cadence. I have always seemed to learn to dance to the beats of your confusion. We are two sides of the same coin and part of the same void. Living our lives and playing into our (delusion).

There is light and dark to every heart. And there is a time and place where each plays its part. The lesson and the teacher, the listener and the speaker. Each has their time, each seeks to...

                                     ..depart

So many questions come to mind when I start to think about my life,
Who have I become? Why do I feel emotionally numb? Why do I feel stuck?
I pass it off as being caught in a rut, but deep down I know my strife,
I create hidden monsters that foster these thoughts I blame on bad luck.

I try to write and describe these beings so anybody can understand,
How they have learned to attach like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
I’m always surprised as they reprise actions I feel are out of my hands,
But what I can’t see I’ve came to realize is what everyone sees showing.

I just feel so lost.

I can’t catch a break when I hear my mistakes again and again,
Some days I have it all and others I barely can call myself a friend.
It’s not easy walking in these shoes with many holes in the sole,
As I contemplate the bad in life, seeing good seems like an unreachable goal.

Cycle through it all, only pay attention to the ending cost,
Went to find myself but realized now my mind is lost.
I wish I knew the differences in real emotions and ones made in my head,
But the only difference is my indifference to change how the monsters are fed.

Into The Night

Into the night, many slumber into sleep,
A time where dreams and nightmares are defined.
No escaping the relentless grasp of REM,
Diving into mirrored images of perception in mind.

We are the curators of our dreams as well as destiny,
But we must not waste any amount of time tonight.
For as kings rise and legends are made,
Dreams preparing for tomorrow’s sanctioned fight.

Tossing and turning like choices playing out their schemes,
Searching for comfort in a golden age of sleep.
A timeless rebellion from the mundane routines,
As the mind recollects memories piece by piece.

As darkness looms in the mind and over body,
Awaiting the morning rise to fuel the oncoming machine.
The rising sun anchors, and shines light on the darkness,
But for now we dream into the night, a time unforeseen.

I just want to love in the end… Love you until the end… Create a destiny alongside my greatest friend… until the end…

But villains don’t get happy endings…

I hate myself for all the mistakes and how they have shown my life to be representing.
But it’s still me, and my mistakes are not what distinguishes me profoundly you see.
I fear many things… but what I fear most is not having the courage to hold back from how my emotions react…
All I ever dream about is having just one more moment to stare at the dreams in her eyes,
But the dreams were drowned with lies and replaced with tears and the throat filled with whys..
I guess it was all the questions I despised, to uncover and discover and realize,
I’m not perfect in any shape or form and I will say it well over a thousand times.

I am broken… But not unfixable.

©️Rob Metz

A rarity for thought as the sun beams down,
The shadows that work from all angles.
Mindlessly connected, us and them.
The static is the surrounding noise, opening cue,
We remain assured we are alone.
The raised goosebumps, innocent whim.

She stares into the sea of stars, as the darkness sweeps through her mind.
Little does she know she’s not alone.
Watching with calculated movements now.
They lie in the dark undetected, they know her every move.
Waiting, they never stop waiting.

She recollects and fixates on her worries,
The monster growing with every doubt.
Salivating from the fear, the shadow will wait,
Eyes feasting, inching closer in the dark.
Her walls crumbling,

She paces, her mind races, tormented by her past,
Make it go away with self inflicted rage.
It’s temporary relief for the mind to be at ease,
But the shadows bring out all the fears.
Fear dwelling in the twilight of the night...

Advances little by little throughout the night,
She suddenly feels the goosebumps.
It’s her mind playing tricks at her expense.
The floor creaks, breaking silence deep within.
She lifts in a panic, nobody there...

Ghost sounds fill her imagination, what could they be?
She looks at the lamp, inching closer to bring light.
She twists the ****, light bursts instantaneously.
And there it was, staring back hungrily.
A feast for the eyes beholding…

She screams in terror, the jaws of the shadows locked,
Crawling desperately, escaping a relentless grasp.
Damaged and torn she is, the shadow waits once again,
The poison of the darkness seeping in.
Growing it is, knowing it is not…

She pleads for help but her mouth can no longer project,
Her silence grows and what dies is her intellect.
She lays and waits as the sun soon comes to rise,
As the shadow that loomed now becomes her demise.
The static of silence returns as the darkness hides.

©️Rob Metz

Dear Dad,

I’m sorry things ended up this way, I know this must be hard,
Why I abandoned you when you lacked to do your part.
Yeah, I don’t think of it as abandonment, I look at it as moving on,
I tried to relate my situation back to every other sad song.
But I got lost in the progress, waiting around for you to come around,
But then I found that wasn’t aloud, and when it came to me and your friends “I became the crowd..”
I guess I just never realized it until now..

Dear Dad,

Yeah I ignored the texts and calls, I just don’t know what to say,
The only thing you cared about was how your friends felt anyway.
Using my child and me to showcase, hiding your controversies,
Show off our attributes while yours are becoming questioning.
I guess I had a misconception of the direction you wanted to take things,
But the thing that always remained constant was the pain you could bring.
I just wished you knew you were my everything when I felt I had nothing,..

Dear Dad,

I looked up to you and thought you were Superman,
I was your biggest fan, i cherish every moment the best that I can.
The talks we had while jamming Metallica in your guitar room,
I thought we had something special, never thought it would end, who would have knew?
I just wish you knew how bad it hurt to put up these walls in your view,
But no matter how bad you’ve hurt me, I will still always love you.
I just wish you could see it that way too…

Dear Dad,

I’m sorry I don’t want to be part of the party,
I just wish you could have been around rather than say “I’m sorry.”
I’m there for my kid in a heartbeat, I see right through the excuses in you,
“I could have been there and been the greatest Dad too…” is that true?
Guess you can’t live your life without someone telling you what to do,
Let your vision become a revision, staring at cloudy mirrors like they’re see through.
But none of that is going to see through to you…

Dear Dad,

I’m a grown man now with kids of my own,
Learned to live life while you left me alone.
I know the past is an overcast straight to my bones,
But life is like musical preference, I need to find the right tone.
So now I’ve shown how distance can play a massive part,
But distance means nothing, you’ve shown that from the start.
This is why I need to leave behind this damage of the heart… from my dear Dad.

©️Rob Metz

The Beauty

Her heart aches for the need to be needed,
Her completion comes through fulfilling others.
Living her destiny as if it were a distant memory,
Just waiting for the weight to topple her over.
Grasping what is and isn't.

Time is wasting us away, the same routine day by day.
Now that we're drifting away, you pull me in that much closer.
You can't let me go because I need you to need me,
I can bring out your change as long as I choose to stay, believing.
Holding on for one more chance.

You keep chasing away those butterflies I once had,
Can't stop thinking about all the time that has passed.
Can you look me in the eyes and say what's on your mind?
Or do I keep guessing and see the real you like I'm blind?
The only price to pay is my peace of mind.

The Beast

Inner reflections, oversee the depravity.
The haunting memory of what used to be.
The decay of values, image perfect for the lie.
The timeless memory, a crafted jaded design.
So we are left broken.

The beast devours but is never full..
Again and again it feeds on the weak.
Pray for prey to insure the hunt,
Conquer your field of dreams.
The hunger never sleeps.

The surprises of decisions half thought,
Acting out our schemes to fill these roles.
Just tell me what you want me to be,
Knowing myself has become the unknown.
Fill the role.

So desperate to communicate, yet begging to disappear.
Your words are salvation, the reassurance from my fears.
Carry this burden in order to set me free,
Carry my curse, the reflections of depravity.
The reflections passed on.

©️Rob Metz