You lived next to a mushroom field
The smell was pungent and distinct
It reaked of sewage and sulfur
I never understood how anyone could
"Just get used to it."

I hate mushrooms now
Moreso that I ever did before.
I mull over the things you did to me
And made me do to you.
All I can remember is
The smell creeping up my nasal passage
Strangling me
Choking me.

Since that day,
My life has resembled that place.
So much junk to deal with
Such a despicable scent
People wonder how I deal with it.

I don't even know how I stand the stench.
But I find it funny, oh the irony
In how I have come to simulate
The place I detest the most.

What do I do if I've used up all the open vacancies?

There are no more people to use as homes to hide in.

I have to go back into myself, my rooms, my hallways.

Where everything has gathered so much dust.

All curtains have stilled waiting for me to stir them.

I don't remember which doors lead where.

Or if they lead anywhere.

Are they now just ajar, vast caverns into the silence of space?

How much time as passed?

I've lost track.

I have to go back.

But I can't.

I'll sit outside of myself on the steps.

Try not to turn my eyes at the casting shadow

But everything is so,

so,

empty.

And I'm too scared to make it through the doorway.

Love in the dark
Is what I like best
Passion is on point
No need for exams
Or stupid tests
This is truly
For keeps

1st Year
You took me by the hand
Gazed upon my eyes
"I love you", u said
You wrote me a poem
'Sunshine', remember?
You said your eyes reflected
My sunshine
But I also understood,
You didn't love me like I did
You loved the gift in me,
That I gave u joy, peace and happiness
I felt your heartbeat
I was there

                2nd Year
You took me by the hand
Gazed upon my eyes
And said you wanted to leave
"I love you", I said
You gave in to the eyes that once reflected your sunshine
But I also knew,
You stayed out of guilt
You still didn't love me like I did
I was in to the deep end
I wasn't giving u joy like I used to
We've been through too much
I'm not letting you go
No, that's not an option
Your seeds are embedded in my soul
You soothed the ****** that surfaced me
You are in every part of me
I am incomplete without you

             3rd Year
You took me by the hand
Gazed upon my eyes
And said u wanted to leave, again
"I love you", I said
But it wasn't enough, I knew this
You wrote me a poem
'Dear Balm', remember?
"Variants of species invade it's land but never conquer it's territory"
You gave me hope
But rapidly crushed it with
'From Burchelli'
You had already met her,
She was a mirror reflection of you
Poet in her own right
Crazy, free spirited just like you
You felt her heartbeat
She too, felt your heartbeat
You love her
She loves you
Still, you gave in to guilt

You took me by the hand, again
Gazed upon my eyes
And said, "This car is not traveling like it used to" without hesitation
And I knew I had lost you
All these years I've made you live a lie
You are leaving but you are staying
We've been through this road more times than you can remember, but I can
I know though you are with me,
You no longer belong to me
And until I find the strength to walk away from you
I'll still be here,
Calling you mine even when I know 'we' no longer exist

things change over time and I know this far too well
but when I'm looking at you
and your eyes begin to swirl into patterns that I feel like I have always known
I feel time stand still, I feel everything stop in this world
and in that time, the only thing I can think of is you
the way you look in the mornings when the light cuts through the blinds
how you smile when you look at me, when we kiss
the way your fingers intertwine with mine...
and then I am awakened
not sourly, but in the most lovely manner
with the feeling of your lips pressed to mine
and your arms around me
and I know that if I ever am scared of the moon falling
and the sun's rays ceasing to shine
I can look into your eyes on the darkest nights,
freeze everything, and know that you are mine