Sometimes, I feel as though I'm a puppet. My strings being pulled by the Devil. Turn right. Turn left. Go up that hill. Fall. Get back up. Laugh it off. Smile. Make yourself believe that everyone is laughing with you, but in reality, their laughing AT you. But eventually, you notice, & you feel used, betrayed. Cause those people never cared about you in the first place. They tricked you into thinking that they did, so that when you finally wake-up to reality, you notice all the knives in your back.

But it's not all bad, cause all those times you felt unworthy, are suddenly washed away, & as time passes, you pick up the pieces of that broken puzzle of yours, & piece it back together again. Sure, you got some glue in that mess of yours, but it's okay, cause if GOD can make a blind man see, have crippled men walk, bring back to life the sick & with a single touch, heal all diseases, he can fix a broken heart with ease.

So I will continue to raise my hands to him. I will continue to sing with all my might for him. I will praise him till my bones ace, my voice dries out, my knees bleed & I'm out of tears to shed for him. Then I will praise some more.

I know that there is always a reason for what he does, & that he never makes a mistake. The only mistakes that are made, are made by the Devil. I know that God has a plan for me, & for my life, & that by the end of it all, I will be, all ******* with ribbons & string & delivered to him. :)

What is the point of a fist? Is it for fighting? Why? Can't you use your words to work it out instead? Is it to crush things in your hand? Why? Can't you let the item stay whole? Is it because YOU don't feel whole? Is it because you think breaking other things, or even OTHER people, will make YOU feel whole? How? Wouldn't that just make it worse? Please, open your hands, & notice how much better that is. Please, open your eyes & look @ the things you've been missing out on. Please, open your heart & let God in so he can peace back together your soul. Because with God, ANYTHING is possible.

In the darkness, I am still loved. In the darkness, I still have hope. I still pray. I still have an easy way out, but I don't take it, because if I do, others will to, and if I do, I will never learn to FORGIVE, and HOPE, and LOVE. I will never learn to not be afraid. But with you God, I will learn to TRUST, to be HAPPY, and to be OKAY. With you, I am learning to correct my mistakes, and to HEAL, and to heal OTHERS. I will always need you, but, I am trying to learn how to depend on myself, and I will, just not now. But I know, I, will be, OKAY.

As you come into the world, and you see the light, you hope you don't see it again, for a long, long time. You make new friends everyday, and gain opportunity. If you don't take some chances here and there, you have no right to say you're living, because to live is to have conflict, questions, answers, death and loss. The thing to remember, is not to cry, is not to whine, is not to make a fuss, because if you do, they will never stop staring, because they don't know the real you. If they don't know the real you, they'll think your over reacting, that it's all you. They might think that they know the problem, that they know the answer, but they don't, so keep quiet, always smile, never look at your feet, and most importantly, ignore the negativity, the comments, the devil on your sholder. Because you ARE worth it, and you DO matter, you are NOT a tiny voice in the crowd, you are a blooming Caterpillar, waiting to bloom into a beautiful Butterfly.

Why do people try to define with putting us in boxes? On the surface I'm a white girl, who works hard, does community service, & who doesn't take **** from no one, who is always nice, as long as you are, strong & happy. But, in reality, I'm Spanish, Mexican, Native American & African American. I have dyslexia, A.D.H.D., A speech impediment, Depression, Anxiety, insomnia, & that's all because of my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. So I MUST work hard! If I don't, I will crash & burn. So I keep myself busy & I NEVER stop! Can't let anyone get me down, cause on the inside, I'm crying. So, I hide it with a smile. I keep strong to be happy, But that doesn't mean it will work. Cause just cause I'm nice to others, doesn't mean they'll be nice to me. So tell me, what box am I in? Cause I don't think I have one. And what box are you in? Cause I don't think you have one either.

Just cause your hurting, doesn't mean that i should. Just cause your crying, doesn't mean that I will.

Because if you cared, maybe I would too. I could help you, cause you'd be better off, Id be better off. So hand me an eraser, so we can clean the darkness out or your mind, out of your mouth, & out of your heart.