Cash, card and mobile, please.*
Had his hood on and made a tough
Face of some sorts as he flashed
What looked like a blade, only
Smaller. Sorry, mate. My phone
Is in my hotel room, my money is
All somewhere between my kidneys
And liver, but I have these two
Fists, and I'm losing my girlfriend as
We speak, so PLEASE come closer
With that pathetic excuse for a knife,
So I can use it to pick what's left of
Your heart from my teeth after
My anger is vented.
I don't care if it's Islington;
Did you hear about the Viking at
Stamford Bridge? I'm back. Don't
Ever mug a Norwegian.
Don't ever try to mug a Norwegian.
Don't ever try to mug a Norwegian
Poet. I still have £200 in
My pocket. And a tongue as sharp
As anything I've ever been
Threatened with. Boy.