there is too much blood in my veins
but im not entirely sure it’s all blood
there seems to be another ingredient

why do i constantly feel pain
like the pressure
needs to be drained

so ill skin myself alive and let it flow out
there are no longer restraints
no skin holding my contents together

i simply cannot function
because there is too much blood in my veins
and it runs thick and heavy

What if I'm crazy too
What if I'm like him
And because of that
I don't realize I am

I mean
I know the tendency is genetic
And when you're sick
You don't even know it

He is a part of me
Either way
I had no choice
I was born that way

When I look in the mirror I see his eyes
And his nose
And his hair
I glare at them
A reminder that I'm stuck with him
no matter what I do he'll always be there

It makes me hate myself
When look and I see him in me

I don't want to look like him
I never want to make anyone feel the way he did to me
I don't want to be crazy and see the world blurry
I won't even know it if I am
Which is scary
Please don't also let me be crazy

My bedroom is dark


Like the place my mind takes me to when I wonder off

i can't pick up the pieces
every time you break
i have my own
to retrieve from the floor

You don’t know what it's like
To try
And try
And try
With no results

You don’t know what it's like
To cry
And cry
And cry
Tears full of salt

You don’t know what it's like
To die
And die
And die
Every second you're alive

You don’t know what it's like
To lie
And lie
And lie
But nothing
Will ever
Ever
Ever
Get better.

Friendless and strange
Hoping for change

Why can't I be like them?
It shouldn't be so hard
For them it comes naturally

Laughing
Hugging
Talking all day

I just watch with envy
Wishing I could be this way

I hate my emotions.
It’s like I don’t have control
over what I feel.

Sometimes,
I’m just sad
for no reason.

Sometimes,
I’m just mad
for no reason.

I wish my emotions would stop
doing what they want.

Sometimes,
I feel things
and I can’t even explain what I feel,
and it makes me sick,
like a sinking feeling
in your gut.
It’s super weird.
I hate it a lot.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
Sometimes,
I’m not even thinking about anything sad,
but
I feel so horrible.

I don’t know
if there’s a medicine for this.
I’ve already been declared not bipolar,
so I guess my emotions just hate me.

F*ck Inside Out.

It skipped a beat when their eyes met,
And skipped again, with contact set.
His heart raced fast, like an F1 car,
Her soft smile soothed him from afar.

Silent ruins stand,
Ghosts of a lost world whisper,
Dust cloaks barren dreams.

A rigged game for losers
Who like to win