When someone asks me if I’m ok it takes every ounce of strength I have to smile and say I’m fine.

The children danced around,
Not knowing what was coming.
The monster that was lerking.
Oh children please come in.
Come inside the house that he can’t come in,
I promise you it’s safe.
He wants you to fear him,
For you to bring you to your grave.
Don’t look right behind you,
The monsters there, don’t turn.
You let him in your house,
so now he will watch your house burn.

If you asked me everything I would change about myself,
We would be here all night.

I want the sadness and pain to go away.
I push it down during the day,
But at night it comes out to play.
Like it knows my weakness. And targets my many imperfections.
I want the sadness and pain to go away.

I’m no longer dying on the inside. I’m dead. But no body would know that because I am smiling and making jokes when I’m not alone.

If I was in a crowd.
And you saw me.
You would think I was happy.

I find myself always looking toward the future. Oh, I can’t wait until summer. Summer comes. Can’t wait for school to see everyone. Repeating every year. I can’t wait to be a teenager. Life will be great. Now 16. Can’t wait to be an adult. And have a family. But I know that will change.

What am I waiting for really