That caught your attention.

But the moments leading up to it didn’t.

I miss the days that I didn’t know I would.
The good days.
Where everything was perfect
but I had no idea,
That the constant flood of sadness was in my near forecast.
That the unwanted landlord of pain was knocking at my door.
That the desperate hunger for belonging was grumbling in my stomach.

I was told that I’m not deep.
That I am just a light and bubbly person.
That I’m the type of person with no problems.
And my life is perfect.  
That everything I want I will get.

I want it to end.

I have changed.
Been different.
Sad
Depressed
For months.

But no one knows.

Lying in bed.
Crying and wanting it all to end.
Hoping that sometime.
Someone.
Will hear the screams in your head.

I just don’t understand how people are so
fufilled.
satisfied.
loving.
beautiful.

happy.

Do you ever just want it all to end.
The constant thoughts
and emotions.
The pain.
The hard times feeling eternal.
The agony.