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 Nov 2013 Michael Ryan
Abeille
It's chilly/overcast
the street is empty: wednesday 215pm
everyone is at school or at work
This is when I thrive.

No worrying what each car is thinking of me as they drive by
the urge to check the backs of my shoes in case I've stepped in something is diminished.
"Whatismyhairdoingarethesepantstootight? These pants are too tight.
Hide your cigarette so they won't see. Am i walking in a straight line?
Should i be on this side of the road or the other
There's no sidewalk I don't know.

Someone I know
Someone I ******
Will inevitably drive by
Pity me
'That's her isn't it? Why is she walking by herself in the cold?
She doesn't have a car? Pathetic. She can afford to buy
cigarettes at ten bucks a pack? Irresponsible.'"
Head held high walking down an empty street
Useless.

I feel the heat still radiating from newly-parked cars
Small and fleeting moments of relief
Akin to meeting eyes with an attractive stranger on the street
Making whatever this is
Easier to bear
not sure about this one. not much of a poem but i felt obligated to post it seeing as been so long and also it's the most i've been able to wring-out  for the last week or so. written while sitting across from a stinky cat lady. her paintings were nice.
Here I am
wasting time
im gone a little
gone in time

I tried not to notice
the leaving day
by afternoon
i was gone away

the flowers sleep
your widows peak
summer iced tea
long and deep

blurred by vision
set in stone
i sat those nights
when i was alone

the gaze you gave
to those long lost stars
i wanted to save
keep in my jar

want to laugh like you used to
laugh in the day
laugh in the mornin'
laugh in the haze

i drew in a breath
it caught your gaze
in the shimmer and the haze
in the bronze of those days

gimme that smile
i knew so well
that day you met
my sorry soul

in the blues and the greens
and the songs and the trees
in the suns and the bees
in the moons and the seas

ill stay with you
for all of time
my heart is yours
all of mine

i'll pray for you
to the God i love
ill pray for you
to God above

the laughs we shared
the times we dared
there not a waste
there my endeavor

believe in me
believe in you
believe in us
and we'll see through

the darkened light
the drearier night
the dreaded times
the evil sights

the world we live in
the world we fight
the dusty morns
the cool of night

now friend, i,
know you struggle with the way you look,
the grades you get,
the fish you net,
your girlfriend next,
your tired dad,
your long lost soul
and long lost bet

but life is short,
(and so am i)
i'll pray to God
you'll get by

and if it's my last breath
i'll give to you
my last lie
i'll lie for you

i've never wished to die
never wished to die
but i'd sure do
if i left your side

so here i go
this is the end
of the song i wrote
for you my friend

miss you now
miss you then
miss you next year
when i'll send

a postcard from
far away
beyond the days
beyond those days...
You said to believe don't have any regrets
follow your dreams not others steps. 

 The lines on your face read a life that's written there,
You was happy and totally in love,
living your life as one should.

An inspirational talented soul you never grow bored.

You was happy complete,
wise not old,
you lived your dream an did as you should.

Near the end now still a smiling face,
a few last spoken words.

"Every story must come to an end,
now don't you weep when I go to sleep for Its my time,
you keep going"

"live Your Dream"

(SW) .
It is a fire that burns through my body
It shakes through my bones
My stomach turns, I begin to tremble
Thoughts begin to shoot around
  Why does she have to talk to him
  She is so much prettier than me
  Can't he see this is killing me
Thoughts continue to race
Taking a deep breath I close my eyes
  He is mine, forever and always
Jealousy is an omen
Beware, it will curse your body
Only bad can come
Let go and release to ease your sanity
For he is mine and I am his for all eternity
 May 2013 Michael Ryan
kenzo
Your pale grass colored eyes flickered towards me in the passenger seat;
cigarette out the window
I stare at my ruby colored lips in the side view mirror
You drum your fingers on the wheel to Blue Bossonova
I remember the dream catcher hanging from the mirror catching my eye;
a majestic golden hue from the sunlight reflecting off of it.

We weren't supposed to be driving the car,
We both knew this, but we were rebels
So I had climbed out my window without my parents knowing
ripping my jeans in the process
just to be with you.

Had I known it would be the last time I'd touch you;
Had I known it would be the last time I'd kiss your lips
I would have stayed in my bed
The Shins blaring through my headphones
Thinking about all the things I'm going to do with you

Had I known it would be the last time seeing you smile
The last time hearing you breathe
Hearing you talk
     Touching your skin
I would have obeyed my parents rules for once.

Instead of staring at your pretty green eyes
I stare at the pretty headlights coming our way
I feel the car swerve to the left;
the dream catcher falling
The car spinning like a dradle in the air
It was like everything were in slowmotion
As I look over at you in horror
your pale green eyes flicker away from mine
closing as if to say
"I'm sorry."
The car comes to a hault.
You were motionless as we were upside down
Tears fall down my ****** cheeks
I scream at you to wake up;
but you wouldn't
Then I stopped wasting my breath
I stopped
Like your heart

Had I known it would be the last time I'd touch you;
Had I known it would be the last time I'd kiss your lips
I would have stayed in my bed
The Shins blaring in my headphones
because now I'm fantasying about all the things we could have done

About all the things we could have said
like
"You're paying for the electrical bill this time."
or
"I do."
Now I'm stuck listening to Blue Bossonova
blaring in my headphones
thinking about all the things I'd have to do without you

Had I known
 May 2013 Michael Ryan
Ceryn
It hurts me.
You're all I need beside me tonight.
Forever.
It hurts me.
I know we can't be anymore.
Forever.
It hurts me.
I will no longer feel your eyes on me.
Forever.
It hurts me.
Knowing that I won't get to touch you.
Forever.
It hurts me.
Your voice lingers in my head.
Forever.
It hurts me.
I want to be yours.
Forever.
It hurts me.
You're all I need beside me tonight.
It hurts me.

*Forever.
Simple nothings. I just felt the need to put my simplest and lamest thoughts in such a stupid writing like this. Maybe because I can't cry no more. Just trying to get by.
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