My Sobriety Matters.
Its time to make change.
I can no longer keep around things
that trigger me to fall down.
I can No longer hold on to memories
that torment my mind daily,

I need to be clean.
Recovery means everything to me.
to be Drug free is my life time wish.
i want to begin a life.
one where drugs would never be an option
Where drugs won’t be the first thing I run to when I’m struggling

Im a Drug addict.
Who Replaced there substance.
No more Crystal,
You became my new ****.
I grew an addiction
Following obsession.
For you to love me.

I was addicted
To doing everything
To get 1 feeling in return.
Your love .

I let myself get walked one.
Kicked , tossed , Used.
I let you treat me at your like.
Today your nice
tomorrow your mean.
You gave me attention & love
At your convenience.
I was ok with it.
Even though it was all tearing
My heart apart
I let you Play me.
Betray me, lie & fool me.

I knew you Were bad.
You’ve done nothing but cause damage to my heart, soul & mind.
You cheated .
Emotionally & mentally.
You Abused me.
Emotionally & mentally.
The pain you’d cause
Was so Harsh
I considered suicide as
my way out.
To end the reality
Of what we really are & Forget that invisionsed a fantasy.
Of you being my Prince Charming.
Who’d treat me like a princess giving me nothing but love & reasons to smile & feel happy.

Seeing you worser than ****.
your Real , You treated
me the way I feared .
“I don’t want a relationship,
I don’t even want my heart to get broken .”
I gave you reasons why
Examples ,
What’d you do ?
Everything I told you
I did not want someone to
put me through.

So where are the drugs ?
I’ve been Running long .
marathons where no matter how fast I runned? how much Effort I put in ? For none of it to ever be seen. Wether I gave my all & pushed further to doing Better than my best?
I exceeded my strength & held strong for occasions that would have been real reasons to
drop it all.

So where are the drugs?
It doesn’t matter anymore .
Drug addiction is not happiness.
Some don’t believe it’s a disease?
That’s a shame..
No dope fein is happy
No drug addict loves there habit.
Once Addicted , all feelings are changed. Your high is far different from that other person who’s consuming for the party.
To enjoy & Have fun.
Addicts are miserable.

Where are the drugs ?
My struggle is always Twisted around. I’m always doubted.
Always looked at wrong .
My savior ended up being my destroyer.
Left me 4 dead a thousand times .
Why so many ?
I should have been left huh?
I loved him .
Loved .

Prt1

Smoke dope get high
Do a line feel fine
This ? Yeah , it’s how
I’m going to die.
Forever in my veins
**** a love I’ll restrain.
This crystal is my Everything
I don’t need nobody or anything
As long as I’m on
Idx If i don’t have anyone .

Dope love
Changes me entirely .
From feeling
To not giving a ****
For nothing around me!
Takes away the pain
The memories .
Takes my mind away from reality.
I don’t think of all reasons
I’m not happy.
My thoughts are cleared.
My body’s here
My soul , mind , spirit
Is all in hell

Don’t fall for it .
Stay strong.
There’s other ways around this.
Permanent solutions
Ones that won’t cause harm.
Just time & patience.

Don’t do it.
Push through it!
Fight the urge !
It’s not with it.
A temporary choice
That will Bring more devastation.
Another problem thrown
To the pile of Unresolved ones.

Stay strong !
Hold on !
Yes, it’s hard love.
But What do you prefer?
Sobriety, zor A never ending
Drug run