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PEARL SMOKE Jan 2018
1015
Here I am.
Laying besides the same man.
How foolish of me.
How do I continue letting this slide.
We had ***.
Wasn’t makeup *** because I’m still feeling down.
He’s asleep , holding me.
I just feel so Upset.
I shouldn’t be giving in.
Falling for this b.s.
Our relationship is still *******
I’m still very upset .
Idk I want to let go !!
He’s asleep, while I’m here sitting feeling so ****** upset !!!!!!!
STILL ****** STILL
NOTHING GETS BETTER
MY TEARS JUST KEEP POURING AND POURING IL SOON DROWN IN THEM
PEARL SMOKE Jan 2018
I’m A mistake
I wish I wasn’t born
I wish my parents never met.
I wish upon a Star for my mom to have had a miscarriage.
I wish on a shooting star my mom Aborted me .
I don’t ever do nothing right.
All I’m good for is disappointing those who love me ..
I’m so unhappy in this world
Please god just take me.
Let me live in peace dead please
PEARL SMOKE Jan 2018
I’m sorry
I don’t have style.
I don’t have flow / rhythm .
Sorry that
I’m not intelligent.
I’m not independent.
I don’t have **** accomplished
Im not a graduate .
Sorry that
My life isn’t Attractive .
Isn’t pleasant .
I don’t have credit cards
I don’t own a car or drive .
I’m useless I get it .
Drugs & Failing at life
Is what I do bestest.
So sorry
I’m not good for anything
I don’t know much of life .
How to solve Situation
Where to go / call for assistance.
Sorry my life isn’t
Adventures
Interesting
Fun
Exciting
I’m just sorry I’m a ******* .
I’m sorry that you ended up with me.
I’m sorry for all those awesome opportunities you missed with other Females .
I’m sorry for ruining your life .
PEARL SMOKE Jan 2018
I know .
You get past  memories.
Of girls you talked to , were with & left you .
I know you wish to go back Intime to Change your behavior or words
To make it right and have had a life with your desired lover .
I know you hate yourself sometime because of things you did wrong or wish to have done that  interfered with your chances of the girl you most wanted
PEARL SMOKE Jan 2018
IF I were her.
I’m speaking either
Of the ones I know of.
IF I WERE HER
We’d be ******* happy R.N
IF I WERE HER
You’d never tell me anything hurtful or disrespectful
IF I WERE HER
You’d show much love .
Although you weren’t raised to show affection , if I were her it’d come out of you naturally .
IF I WERE HER
You’d be so deeply in love with me. Do the cutest **** and do everything to keep and make me happy. You’d Go head over Heels.
IF I WERE HER
You’d do the impossible to get a smile on my face .
Surprise me and Gift me.
Think of me All the time and be sooo thought ful . Generous , amorous. Plenty of Adorable ****.
IF I WERE HER
You’d show me off to the world.
Present me to everyone that very second . You’d be such a gentlemen . I’d meet All your friends and everyone.
IF I WERE HER
You’d tell me How beautiful i am
Look at me in the way As the most goregeous and perfect thing you’ve ever seen.
IF I WERE HER
you wouldn’t look at other girls
Check others out
Talk or even think about another .
You would go behind my back and Flirt with others . Etc
IF I WERE HER
You wouldn’t avoid me
Ditch me , diss me, betray me
Hurt , break me.
IF I WERE HER
You’d Marry Me instantly .
You’d work your hardest to Move out with me.
You’d work sooo happily knowing it’s all for us.
IF I WERE HER
You’d think magically of me all the time . Do things to impress me , you’d cherish me so ****** much
IF WERE HER
You wouldn’t Make me feel sad.
If I cried , you’d do your best to cheer me up !
Your whole personality would change .youd take selfies with me.
IF I WERE HER
You’d think of wanting to move me out and care for me. Give me all my needs and Love me So much. Work hard to give me the bestest life and anything I wanted

SADLY I’m not her.
Which is why i suffer daily .
Why I’m always crying
Why your always Doing things to hurt me constantly
PEARL SMOKE Jan 2018
I’m sorry for inturupting.
Making you Ask me out because you felt sorry for me .
I’m sorry for ruining your life.
Getting in the way of yours and messed up opportunities you now wish you would have taken instead .
I’m sorry for coming into your life and making it horrible.
I’m sorry it’s my fault your not with the girl you died for .
I’m sorry for trashing your space
I’m sorry I exist . It’s me to blame
I’m sorry I got in the way
Sorry for not being the one you wanted to marry.
The one you looked at so hopeless in love .
Sorry I don’t make you look at me with eyes of true love like you looked At others.
It explains everything .
Why you hurt me plenty of times why you can’t be lovable
Etcetcdtc
Because your not that inlove with me like you were with others .
I know you wish you would have stayed with either of the ones you been with
I’m sorry I ruined your life with my pathetic hideous self
I’m sorry I don’t fit the description you told me.
I’m just sorry I don’t make you feel the way you felt when you’d get close to those girls your heart melted for
PEARL SMOKE Jan 2018
Devil devil
Where are you
I need you
Right now right here
**** what others think
Now I remember why I loved you deearly.
Please come & take me !
Please take over my mind & brain!
Erase my memories
Please make me lose my head!
I don’t want to continue on!
Please control me
I no longer want to feel
Devil please come for me
Save me dear
Drug me up
I no longer want see what’s real
Drugs drugs drugs
I ****** hate them !!!!!
I hate this ! I hate everything !
Drugs I don’t desire ,
They don’t make me feel happy.
Drugs I love , they release me !
Get me high , so I won’t deal with my broken heart so I won’t give a **** about not being good enough
Please GOD
LET THE DEVIL DO ITS JOB
I WANT TO LOSE MY MIND
I DONT WANT TO KNOW WHATS GOING ON AROUND ME
I’m not skinny I’m not pretty
Have *** nor ******
Nice hair or skin
Come take me
I hate feeling like this by his side
I can’t do this anymore god
I can’t.
I’m not good for him
I’m not what he wants
I don’t dress as he calls fresh
I don’t do anything that amazes him I’m the opposite of what he wants
I HATE MYSELF GOD PLEASE FORGIVE THE DEVIL BUT I NEED HIS COMFODT TO NOT FEEL TO NOT HATE SO HARX
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