I could have loved you for the rest of time
We married and you promised you’d be mine
I took your word as true
I believed it when you said ‘I love you’

You said you meant it at the time
Only then were you really mine
You held my hand
I thought you could understand

What love really is
What it means to fall in deep
And in so falling keep promises
Find solace in friendship, intimacy, laughter

Grow as each others partner
Love like it was our invention
Feelings beyond our comprehension
But you could not

You only see things in black and white
You could not love me despite my flaws
You could not love me again as you had before
When you adored my whole self

You made me feel miles above anyone else
In your eyes
You reflected my good heart back to me
And I fell in love with what I wanted to see

Now I see you were empty and dark
There was no real love to find in your heart
The light in your eyes was just part of the reflection
You had no other intention

But to tear out my soul
And swap it for your black hole
The emptiness is yours alone
I think I have always known.

It was an act
And can all be traced back to one night
The night you looked into my soul
Eyes greener than glass
Here you were at last
My soul mate, my twin flame
My life would never be the same

You shared my love
Saw my need and gave it all you had
Dug your nails in my back in more ways than one
You loved me like no other one
And I saved you from your past
I never understood it wouldn’t last

We got married
Red flags I had ignored as you persuaded
Me you had made mistakes
And when you walked down the aisle
I cried at your beauty and the love we almost missed
Bound together by vows, a ring, a kiss
It would never get better than this

Over the threshold
I carried you to bed
Goodnight you said and fell asleep
No longer irresistible you pushed me away
Accused me of things I didn’t say
Your love for me disappearing day by day
Until what was on my mind I didn’t say

Then you left
And you returned and left and came back
It was all my fault and you made me apologise for that
Then you tore me apart
Bit by bit you watched me disintegrate
Then you left me again for your own sake

We dated and met
I thought we were saving our marriage
But you just weren’t done with me yet
Until the killer blow
You were not in love with me anymore
And I should let you go
You who were my life, my wife still expected me to say no

You wanted to be friends
Said this couldn’t be the end
But I can’t do this anymore
You have taken all I had to give and more
I said no
And you left me for the last time
It’s time to heal and know that I am mine.

M Frances 2018