those are gone,
those little sparkling blues
in a bag
the green on the ashtray
and the white on the plate


those are gone
now left in between
is this dance with doctors
and the addiction team
with no sign of beating
odds im befuddled
strangling puddles
of my own
and rain is more than I can take

with words like venom
your lies
a destiny of hope
hiding behind
the smoke in your nose
and the pills in your throat

Developing a personal shift in.
my personal prison
And this perfect existence
With worthless decisions..
Externally driven
Urges and girly decisions.
Worthy intentions
To leave  earthly possessions.
As long as my birth.
Is the learning curve in this lesson...
I'll keep serving up
Words. Like I ****** a sentence.
And cut my nerves
At the endings.
My surgeon mixes gas.
Straps on my mask
I go out.
Like a stain with certain
detergents....
Wake up a brand new person
Yeah right
Its never arriving...
I'm not worth it....
I have no courage...
And there's word
I might not survive it.....

Difficult times.
Like im running this treadmill.
Destination climb.
Wrong intentions.
But I write with a pencil.
Right brain mental.
Left with directions of devils.
Down with the rythym
But I left it up
To my head to
Develope  my level

God and Gabriel..  Michael in a whirl wind...
Blowing candles on cake...
Wondering on worlds end....
The female birth.. of gabriels nerve ends...
Like surface waves of energy
As God emerges at the world ends
Michael... in the tidal wave of surfing
More than couches
The internet. Or crowds.. at term end...
*** pistols with SOME FIRM LEAD
Urgency
Of Gabriel to emerge  the turbins
certainly not the world's end...
Latin is a term once dying like
My dire red period.
Words end
After sentence makes a point
Red dot light
On make shift stamina... burned legs
Come fast... my girl gives the worlds best.. toe curling pearl necklace
**** tetris
Perky ******* with
A ****** dirt wish
Fit your cylinder between her first exit
That learn her curves grid
And turn her words into complex
Poems that search the cosmos
In a burst nexus...
Flowing moaning words from dirt Texas
Bigger than the girth menace
Redbull on a pair of horns
And *** the sequel...
Racket slang yelled from *** heavens
***** of steel ***** this ain't fence tennis...
Head lettuce.. brain like praying men is...
You get menace from God till you  met dennis
And Dennis ain't Gabriel's *** image

Evicting poison in this chemical. Irrelevance...
I'm a girl.
My many symptoms.
Shine example  lack of genitals
As evidence....
Its medicine. Thats meant to cut.
The confusion.
To a conclusion.
I'm inevitable going to get it cut..
The guy I want...
Will set us up...
Hes got ****. And love.
Lots of fun wont get enough...
If im actually swallowing
The letters spelled
In devils blood
Mom ***** dad. Dad had a ****
I got one that ******* actually settles it...
Its not the devil. Its my heavrns wish.
To solve these gender quips
Like **** boy...
Tuvk your ***** in
You'll scare away the feminists
Or eminem your **** is big
I dont pretend its that big
When I mention it
But staring off to space
Makes me wet and crave
A thought to mention it
If only my left 12 year old brain
Could pleasure it
I'd leave home.
**** my dad. 8 mile road
Us together yep...
******* I'm a boy
I'm confused whst ******* road is this...
Conforming to a stormy pattern
Of ignoring anything
They're ordering...
Smoking grass and bordering
Whats more to me
Than ***** dreams of you in mortal
Wounds with me torn between
Your ******* cranium.
And ghe way
You don't say bless you
Just ignore my sneeze..
Now you buy me presents...
Like I was never going to have you notice me...
Chocolates ugh disgusting they make me hofny so abnormally....
Its performing.. acts I shoulder lean...
I wanted Chris roan to notice me
But he loves something im without
You can perform the scene
Alone and we.
Forget it. I'm sore and sweet
Like **** this hurricane of enormity
And **** these tears form into poetry... im alone. The story seems.
I'm abnormally and disproportionately totally
Utterly and informally...
Requesting your attention...
Dress up. **** once I swsllow this
Cordially extend your mobile flex and text me... ill get a message if I'm meant to see...
Eventually... i guess ill be... left without a purpose....
A turtle for a shell... no cloister. Squirtle. Water pistol.. just my dads
Hand me down... squirt gun... ***** with a perfect circumcision... still no ****** identity or purpose...
This ain't right.. fix it first...
And get you search...
Your so **** worth it...
Morph and you'll be perfect...
Maybe not 8 mile wide but at least you'll scratch the surface

Correct me if I'm high on myself
My pious self
A dime against a dollar
Watch me coin a phrase and buy myself..
A diet helps
But minus auto correct.
I type bring pizza.
And she writes buy yourself.

I replied a dollar short 10 cents depri
Pennies for my thoughts cant buy the hope in which my wealth of honesty survived
So I try at wealth.
My moms 65 mill. In higher health
I just got told we all decide 500 thou.
To donate to charities
We find will help. And supply the help
I chose two churches
And a mosque when they invite me.
A sweat lodge
For the native version the creator
And ten sets of ******* for transitioning transgender teenagers
Wager implants
Cost ten racks.
You got nice racks.
My mom got me awesome major.
God made her an angel to provide me bread and milk and smokes
And save my *** from danger
And light my Hope's though my hope was nope.
She saved my life with love and words of spirit.
Near death. Shes wierd I tear up thinking of my fears in sure fire brick walls. Every time my pitfalls dissapeared *** she steered me clear.
Shes a heavenly body of love. Humble joy and great honest tall over powering awesomeness. Its aweful how much I was incompetent. And depended on her solidness. I'm imperfect. But yet an angel. *** she raised me to be faithful to the Angel's jesus god and strangers.
She prepared me for danger.
By allowing me to go anywhere in safety. The only angry thing I feel
When I think of how she raised me.
How could we ever know though
My brain was different
Than the type of equipment I had to **** with....
So I never got male attention. Or was cautious of assault. Or seduction
But my entire self though different.
Hardwired. By evolution.
To watch in fear but I pretended
And invented a persona to protect us.
He was born from hell.
And full of shelter that his stare was as deadly as a sinner is to selfish
Like eminem likes shellfish.
Like anna kendricks
Handles mandick
Like I like mayo sandwiches.
To get my thighs and *** thick
Like an oreo sandwich with me in between 2 massive black *****
The entire map led back to
A trap house.
With a bad mouse
Named stuart
Pumping up his bad mouth
I say put the fuckingbat down
You ******* *** clown
Your a bad mouth little
Bandit
Like disease belongs to ******* ***** rat mouth
Bring me black out
Bout to snap now
Lay the snack down
Steven Irvine talking crap now in the back ground but wont attack now
Tyler's a little class clown
News flash now
I'm massively turned on by your sisters perfe t *** now
Attack pow.
Doubt it smack my kids now
Never **** talk em.
But it's no time for *******
In this rumble. Blessed withfists that will split yourfucking wig now. Let's get down
I got a bottle of **** for lil jack.
Slsp the ***** out of your big mouth
Do let's get indignant with the fists now...
Dylan says hell make me pretty.
It's gone be ugly when we get down
Logan you must be dry asfuck *** my opposite is wet now.
Devils hood I'll get down like a war vet
In class action lawsuit with oxycontin. Low and out. And high in debt now.
No need to mention the rest

**** the head its ****** I'm thinking I'm the best now.
You know who you are. I love you too death.
Your actually the best now.
Dont let the rest down

Want my people beside me.. Fighting injustice
Trust this love to endure.
I was trusted with an Angel's touch
This much you must trust to be sure.
In fear. Of leaving.
Jo keep breathing your love is untouchably pure....
My family is a lingering love.
Presence. So much becoming
My hunger. For an ungrudgeable cure
Something
Inside the rumblings
Your disgusted I'm sure...
Aware that nothing can be ingested
With more un discussable fear
It's a tonic
By god you've got it...
It's not something to fear...

Mother beside me
Brother drunken with tears
Sister baby daughter
Little brother covered with tears
Family disconnected
But comfortably wierd
In our fears
Dont mention turn of fate
Soon as something appears
Take back the hate that filled my heart
And run with the years
Love you to death.
See it's not something to fear

Introvert with a constant filter...
A concert killer..
Nausea type of sickness
***** spills...
Get the comet and the coffin
Mac Miller got the process splinter...
Remember that video with 5 inch punch in the koffin filmed here....

Bad *** scenario... we start apocalyptic guns... I Orbit on morbid shock.. but I claim im God for fun... until they actually prove it... I'm constant haunted blood... remote control on court room comet... vomet clean and scrub.... its beyond a doubt no claiming fraud to run... I pause.. he walks... I do my time... I want the longest hugs.... and when he remembers im God... I speak in common tongue..
And bless my body... and my honor for what your bodies done...

Foreshadow deez nuts.
Gimme the loot.
Burn the pages.
Refuse. To show the lake inside
My makings to get naked...
Hate me for a second save it.


Mood like satan with a paper cut...
A dangerous ****.
With weapons made for
Circumcisions.
*****. Your not made for greatness.
Never made the cut.


Exhausted with this coffin
Fume that feels rotten.
In my tainted lungs.

***** make me ***.
I leave  to Bangladesh.
*** I'm in danger.
Where I'm staying cuz.

Break it down with the first word.
In alphabetical order.
Just to say your dumb.

A. B.itch.can.eat.*******.greatness.
Hell. I justify. Killing lame ****
My never ending. Oppressive
Prozac queen resuccitate. So save it
Tough. U villain ****. The rest
Can **** my ******* ****.

Mind your ps and qs
Young lady.
If your assumption is your sick...
Drug induced erotica. A scrumptious.
Vain that makes you itch....
Talking ****.

Freeze hell... we well... see me fail...
Ima be free will... like three cons that never see jail...
Break down the deception for a free scale... of gabriel... the safety claim of dream vale...
Towak scripted in the living of a shadow with a clean pale...
We need shay to save three braids from Anglo Saxon... racist radical fashion... grab life in imagination and recycle sadness for happiness
In a planet of bat ****....

amigo me a trans woman
Experience the daily life
Well im in a crazy high
*** when I wave people
Wave goodbye
I look like a man
No mistaking I.
Get accepted still. How great
Inside.
Got **** on once or twice
By closet flamers that parade as guys.
I'm not a rep for any others trans
I feel though
That there safe as I...
I go to church. And get included
Get to pray. And vibe
Although
My shame it hides
Much greater. Than being trans
Or gay or straight or bi
Now I say I'm rainbow flagged for life.
Crazy life. My town
It raised me right.
I hope other trans feel just as crazy high.
That I feel when everybody waves me by

Introvert with many questions.
Slip into fates fine direction
Of heat that sweet
And feet that ache
Of growing pains see the seasons change.
Of lies that fall
On common ears
Believed in tribes far from here
Speak onto many
With poise and grace
And make ghe choice to
Slowly change
The voice you hate
That rumbles loud
Is false beliefs
You feed the clouds
It goes around and befuddles
Masses
If seeking change
You have first to ask it
You want the truth
Free from strife.
The packaged deal
Reveal your lies.
Live with purpose
Certain faith
And find the worth
Against your current grain

So difficult to find.
Truth. When inside the waters muddy
Always prayers and thoughts.
And Hope's.
Being alone and with nobody.
Till you found me.
I'd like to say something.
I never saw it coming.
I'm a girl inside a body.
That feels manly. Unkempt and ugly.
But the world has shown me something.
That what I thought inside of me was so  ugly.
Actually turned out to be.... well....
Pretty ******* funny.....
There it is. So scarcely lit before.
I ignored my tummies rumbling....
I needed truth.
But I was using the wrong trading points as money....
Currency. Like promises... fall short
Of realizations in becoming....
I was raised as a boy...
But now I'm trying to be somebody...
My uncle has finally passed
From a cancer
Battle raged and body ******...
But heaven is a perfect place...
I'll see you there.. ten four rubber ducky... love ya unky... best ******* buddies.....

Intersect ideas. You got this in the pocket.
8 ball kinda lyrics
Ain't been turned in to hard rock yet.
I get a rocket surge of clearance
When the ozone toxic.
Its ducking awesome.
I congratulate congruent folks.
But its always fiscaud that I have to talk with.
Never mind. Forever blind.
Not tragic though.
I know forgiveness.
I can out live this.
Remembering my misfit
Like I fit in after years of
Cruel indifference
Its a shift in
My forever existence
Entire condition
And relinquishment
From this prison
Like I finally feel free
And without stipulations
Shackles or conditions
That exist when I'm in prison

Who am I.
Not thinking suicide.
I want this life with love eloping
Soon as I... can move this
*******. Celestial
Grooming time.
With foolish very.
Mood lit.
Muted conversations
Happening with you and I...
You knew this time.
My love was not a hemi sphere
Its circling.
Your atmosphere
And as it nears.
You make me
Look like dancing
Pictographs
Collages of every smile
That made you tear...
My mate is here.
You can face your fear.
And join my heart.
In every memory.
You never seen.
The deer and rabbits.
Run from foxes.
Never need. To stop it.
*** I want you to end the hunt
With my body.
In your jaws.
And my soul. Nourishing.
Your happiness.
My man. Let's hear it for the boy.

Gravity is immense.
Still im
suspended in weightlessness...
Unfriended the image of God
Because you don't
Like this realm in the way it is......
I trust in benevolence.
But develope some pity
For rapists. Mercenaries and Satanists...
Its love that echoes. Eternal shapes.
In the motherly keep.
Of a weightless opaque tinge. Of vacant spaces and emptyness
Creation swirling in majesty
Till human travesty.
Tragically came from space...
And trashed up. And ran with
Hate ful ness
And created racism.
Slavery.. corporations
And ceo benefits
And brainwashed through screens.
Instead of educating
On how to change the ****** way it is
Its time to man up
And ask his grace....
Every man in existence what day is it
Can you answer. Your destiny.
When the damage is wasting
Half of this place at a rabbit pace
With weapons. Disaster.
Gravitate. To a sadness shape...
But **** it lets go to ahappy place...
I gotta get rid of
This devils dance. Its a habit I have to break...
Say **** it for habits sake.

Mind games.
Crime rate. Is raising in Georgian.
Abortion. And ****
Charges that lawyers support n.
Hand in hand.
*** divorce. Is an evil.
They give out to the masses.
Impunity. Goes together like
Klu klux  ****
And covid masks yah
While trump solution
Is to feud with any
State that won't remove the ban yet.
Demand. That can.
Of cat ****.
To get a better spray tan n.
******.
Cant stand. This romance.
With a trans from somewhere
In canada.
Shy but slams so hard.
She makes hulk Hogan
Look like canvas practice
For a Steve Austin massacre.
She plans like a passenger.
Or clueless like
Matador.
Gay bulls in a coloseum.
She's out of this stratosphere.
Her movies are passion laced.
Gas riot grenades
In a rythm show.
Like taking a lick from the spoon.
Of inevidible
And letting none but the devil
Know.
She's metal. And schedules.
Like head spaces. Of under developed
Men that turn into pedophiles.
Wow that just took a setting tone
It's time that I let her know
Shell never be on stage
With this encore when
The smoke settles the eminem show

Watching patterns in a storm of randomness.
****** in pants. Tailored
For a man.
When my inner strength.
Is female handling.
Obstacles. Thinking
Boxless like tearing chocolates
Out the cardboard box
And dismantle conventional
Practices of packaging.
An instrument of god.
Who solves the wolves
That lurk
Like shadows. In the city
Under man made suns
That light up.
Sidewalks
Where bodies lined in chalk
Make Benjamin bratt
Batman.
Marishka hargitay
All deploy tactics
To evolve the plot of miss piggie
Fooling mom about the sweet allure
Of my want for the awesomeness of
The cookie mob.
Is watching every ounce of
Imported chocolate
Controlling product
*** dad hated gangsta rap
So that's the way my life
I was crazy to model it.
Drakes the top. Of tyranny
He wants my body
For a swallow of his hot chocolate
So I swallow it
And roll in modesty.
While sarcastically
Talking of obnoxiousness
Like the same box I do not think in.
*** drakes box.
Is toxicly stocked with ****.
And ***. And love.
The total. Sum. Of love and chocolate
Like I'm filled with humour
Haunted by a want
That's as noxious as a ****
Choking other every other
Thought
That grows in the garden
Of my consciousness
So as the watchmen
Drop clues
So do I want me to swallow this
It's like slavery
13 states wanted it
Half of the people fought to abolish it
America. Your awesome
But half your population is intolerant
The times have changed you votedtrump
Your dumb as ****
You scare me with your complete
Abandon of moral competence
So I've gotten my response
From god
He said you lost in Vietnam
The dudes who wanted it
Were haunted by a political ideal.
Your rich sons never fought in it.
Hate me for every stitch my Jean's rap the sacred cloth that swaddled my body in.
That's slot of talk
That Jordan's a false prophet
And hesgodless and monstrous
Prominent talk of Christians acting like gods. Trump followers. And ignorant fallen angel followers and lots of intolerance
In the empty corners of an office crawling
With spiders. Inside my eyes. Drawn inside a web that entangled every bug and crawler.
In my bedside drawer.
Tell me horrors. I cant stop
So say goodbye.
Admire my broken jaw
My spoken song.
My matching eyes.
And watch me die

Boi don't give up on me.
I'm never going to let you do that.
Came to far.
Shared every part
Of someday. In forevers.
rumour mill or group chat
but our past selves ******* knew that.
Wed meet and marry and
Be resilient brilliant strong.
And live old enough to prove that

Now your giving up dont ******* do that...
I make you mad.
Family discussion
Leaps from you and mom to me and you dad
What ever happened. To the glue attaching all my love just me and you had
You came to far to give up on yourself
Your not going back so  fricking ***** that
I'll push you through the wreckage in your path. *** I love you your my true dad....

Son I knew that
But

Who had. A better knowledge base of pain. And terror
Before I lash my tongue at your mom. I pause and feel my anger. Terrible...
It feels unbearable...
At times I scream. So ******* loud.
It isn't fair. I dont wanna scare her
Well you please pass and share
How can i
Your life
Is constantly in comparison...

The question ******* tortured me..
My early life was an embarassment
Now you have me prepared..
To let go of my tormented self distorted vision
  Prepared
To leap full forward
Into nowhere and you'll catch me...
*** your going to be devoted and totally supportive of my problems.
No matter thin or thick skin...

Yep... I'm here for more than just passion
*** it sometimes comes with madness

Yep I am...
******* babe. You don't answer a rhetorical question.. i didn't wanna know the answer....

Remember when you said
Stick a needle in my eye. Right now..
*** this ***** sees how you would
Leave me
when I share my ghosts
Your going to leave me bleeding
An open heart still inside me beating
Under scalpel.
Incision made. Right when I'm helpless. You up and leave me

I know I love you baby...
This isn't really me the real me
I got issues you ******* know this
Promise your not going to
Let go of me...
Babe I won't let go believe me
I know you've sacrificed.
And right now both of you need me

I may be less hopeful for tomorrow.
But its not tomorrows hopelessness.
That shoulders all my sorrow
Its a prospect. Of something working properly.
And it not needing me or wanting me.
I was always a product of dysfunction.
It hardwired  me so improperly...
I dont like to admit it...
But im a love sick kid. With platinum
Albums and discography...
A drug addiction. Daddy mommy issues.

Abuse neglect.
And ****** ******* trying to marry me....  
The scary thing.
Is neither of us were good enough...
No matter who we were comparing see

I know babe I got issues. I was born a ******* man. And thought I was a serial killer. How embarrassing



Well
Mine was how unscared I was Of whats inside. And how dare you believe
Love me completely. Be there and ******* care for me
The little voice
In the mirror. Saying Nobody ******* cares for me
Don't believe it for a second.
Your the greatest. In my heart.
What don't you get about.
I love this man so much
Enough to marry me
Thats the scary thing
**** it...
Run a mile inside my head...

Babe I love you but your scaring me...
No i love you more than life...
Thats the ******* scary thing....

Taboo subject.. end of the concept
Packaging time
I ask dad if it's wise...
And he actually replies....
No asking its actually time...
Sike kid... damage your eyes...
Elapsed ****.. collapsed in a matter of retractable spines
that back the
Matter of mind until
Inception of collateral action
Sadly applies....


I'm like **** son this crazy as **** and...
Mother loving mud mucking truck of a subject.... I love your corruption of discussion but I won't touch this
Much detention of budget....
I'm supposed to plummet corruption
And raise consumption of loving
But something had me..
Crunching my stomach....
**** it... slum love sees me ghetto
And I admit I untouchably love it...
Like sons to a summit
Peaking like ridges of country pines
Extending from mud pits .. in the numbness
Of winter and the crumbs of son to the mother to son in...
A witness of love at the summit...
Till food prices plummet
And the poor is full in the stomach
Something of a drunkness
The world is end of discussion....

God is my Armour.
My promise and my protector.
My father.
Teacher. Redeemer.
And genius inventor.
Mentor. Selector .
Embracing my soul.
In his forever.
With one word.
I earn back. Terms
He made me to endeavor.
But I better never.
I remember.

Hostile violence.
Thoughtless and  childish

Immoral times that.
I felt no guidance.
Surviving blinded.
In a spine.
Of dry rivers.
For every hidden crying.
Maybe minding more of
Your acceptance.
And selling perception
To the mindless.
Society disguised as.
A lie *** I hide that
Which is cloaked
In my inner innocence.
Now the whole thing
Brought to light shed.
My soul becomes awoke.
With poetry
Devotion music
And new kindness.
As he spoke it.
My time diminished.
And I'm reminded
Of his every thought
As I was blinded
And misguided
In my silence

Lets be real. For just a millisecond.
I'm wolverine one second
In the xmen
The next a  nasferatu.
With no reflection
Wheres my perception

Society pariah def
Kind of game to menace
Ten seconds left
And im ******* pregnant
With God's greatest weapon

This can't be deception
Though im mentally ill
I know my head is
Sick but eventually will
Regain perception
Of this lesson
And ingest this heavrnly pill
I see life in meadowy hills
With a blessing
So incredibly real.
That even my future husband
Will find inevitably sealed

I actually thought this ****
Voices were encouragement
Deserving it
That flourishes
With nurturance
And purposeness
A worthless word discourages
But jesus returns the world from
Murderous
Destruction
Of governments
Corrupted greed
And people without words to fit.
The urgent times
That emerge from surface looks
And ownership of
Currency
You think determines it
You still feel worthlessness
No matter earnings
Or status. Terms of searching
Left unfollowed
Untill your emptiness resurfaces
Its head is like an urchin
With a body of a life built on
Self esteem determined by purchases
Never returning love
To those who've truly earned that ****.
I speak as if I'm perfectness
In fact I'm pre determined
To emerge as being
Neither perfect
Nervous. Entitled or worthless
In a sea of certain defeat
I emerge a beast.
The mirror image of
Plural need.
My girls a freak.
My boys a beast.
In between is dreams.
Of worldly peace.
In earthly scenes that shoot like solar flares as time and space unfurls
Against a blackened sky
That hides its hurling mass into a further speed.
So free and in her perfect dream

Settle in a point of peace.
Anoint your sleep
Free from demons.
Sleep with hope and dreams.
The noise you breathe
The closing motion scenes
Where once was voiceless screams.
Poisoned streams.
And emotion bleeds.
Uou show your feet
With slow defeat
Your lies will
Grow like weeds
If you can't grow
With flowing peace
Releasing truths
You mostly keep
As burdens in your golden fleece.
And show your feats
Your broken feet.
That roses grow on concrete
Streets
Moses leaped like toads
And locust
With devotion
At the unknowing keep
Of sacred souls
And ***** so deep
The same way
You must free yourself
From poison speech
Believe in thrones
Of Joseph's sheep
I dont know if I'm going to deep
I try to know what the Bible teach
But im scared I'm worthless
My lies are deep.
Inside they creep.
Like flies to feast.
My child just smile and rise to feet.
You cry at least.
And try to beat
The miles between.
Your pride and meek
Its your time to speak
Praise higher power
Its raising lives
The final hour.
And ifs not time to weep

Dare devil with a master plan
Accredited with 7 kills.
Debt to the devil. That invented
His attention skills


Crafted in the heart of monster
Debted with a mercy streak....
A first rate cut like guts will spill
And you ***** will be the first to see..
Surgery with urgent needs
detergent cleans the ****** scene
Detective with a pet peeve
For erecting death in ****** teens

A tiny word becomes a curtain scene
And closes. On a ghost.
No way I thought.
The ******* would return to the ****** scene
And revive me from the dead just to ****** me

Metal with poison.
Fill in the blanks.
Foreshadow something
OK here goes hold your nose if it stanks

Rhythm corrupting little pockets of air
Breathing on bird
Flight response on prepared.
Scared and torn staring
At the stars.
Bizarre. And charged like Mars.
And scars secrets from Venus
If eclipses were hereditary
Would I still have a *****
Supernova on magnet
Can genius be secret
Asking for a friend
Say my dad had to see this
Eminem is the reason
It promised me everything
Dreaming scarcely compared
To lucidity
Stupidity fluently
wearing fear like
Its  scary and weird.
Apparently I believed
My gender was cleared
Discussion of subject
I believed dear truth was the logic
No matter the cost
Of rocking the opposite

So I want it to stop it
And come out the closet.
I'm not a rock star
Or a monster. But
I will be a goddess.
If all of me wants it
I'm married to God.
And the world watched me constant
Seen my small ******* top less.
Yeah trump was a topic
Forget political talks when
I'm just steady in complex
Its inevitable knockout
Clocks up
Talks off
Whats it got.
*** I've stopped
Talking off the cuff.
I don't know but I want to see what it gots

Her evil a complexity..
..
Formed from instincts
Savery and shrinking
Need to beat necessity....

Reliving things
Like demons.
Retelling ingredients
From a recipe.

Her wielding days are over
Holster up that dagger
Of *** ...sweat and ***** getting
Destiny....

Karmas just a *****.
You havent met yet in your wettest dreams... while stealing
Promises and dealing minors minor high time kind of felonies....
Like crystal **** and ketamine.
Karmas going to ***.
Like teenage you. In bed sheets
As you relive your pubescent destiny. Your ******* wettest dream
Your trial becomes your childhood dream....
While kindness shines inside your eyes illuminating. Lies you once tried embellishing....

the devils not the evil one.
But I got pictures in my cellar still developing.
Eminem maybe way better than me...
Still firm on the jdea
My ******* are like the pictures in the cellar.
Not worth developing....
Retelling. A story born of a hellish beginning. Middle are no less intense
Than  ending credit scene...
Reads tenderly.
RIP.
Bruce Jenner's swaure into the gender scene.....
Representing Compton.
Not like easy e. Dr dre ice cube or mc ren it seems...
I'm more like venus and serena William's. Lezzing out on the Womens tennis team...
God complex. With messages.
From death herself
Depicting images of me sexually...
If its a wedding eventually.....
Required. Add frodo baggins
In attendance. Cant forget to bring the wedding ring
While Sam's eyes are always searching. Touching me..
Uncomfortably ******* me...


Hype productions.
In association
With the dumb *****.
That brought you something free.
From the sharp point extruding
From a honey bee....
Oh god we never had this talk.
My parents. Viewed communication
Like a luxury....
So puberty was understood funnily as something getting passed
Like a baton to all the other ******* on the running team...
**** I hope its painless.
*******. Flowers!!! thank you mister honey bee.....
End it off with something green
From your well
Invested money tree.....

Oh god I hatd interpreting these I feel like a monster....

In heart. I'm so simple
I'm not complex
I believe in trust....
And it ***** me up
When people cut
Me deep enough
For blood....
I act like I'm so
Invisible
You cant see me when I blush
But my cheeks
Are always red
And my teeth
Are freezing to the touch
I believe in
Hugs
But i need drugs
More than
That sweet and healing touch
Only recieved from
People that you love...
I'm so deeply needing
Something
To free me from
This demon and his clutch
That I plead victor
In the card game
So you dont ******* see my bluff...
But you dont ******* see that stuff
A decade
Was to long. Too keep a secret
That's been
Eating at my gut..
So **** what you believe
Come and ask me
What the **** is up
With all this secret ****** up stuff

leave me be
in my semi transparent serenity"""""
its rare for me to be this honest
and ive found that truth is not the enemy"""""
apparently,
its clean fresh air
good food that just may be the remedy"""""
but instead,
im cooped up here
amidst my scatterbook of memories.""""

love is not the cause
nor is my heart a mighty victor////
ive been living in a void
with my head fit tightly in the *******////
but its me whos got to be
the type to shift ....////
my mortal gaze,,,,,
onto something more
important than the narcotics that I crave ,,,,,

Just dabbling.. sandwich bags
And scraps of discarded plastic...
Bags around my ankles
*** the weathers a martyr or madness...
Impart. Shards of glass end up..
Regarded as trash is...
Believe me im part of the madness
But do you know
Glass is just hardened sand into transparent glasses...
Like the natives had died porcupine quills and traded goods for
Glass beads to colorfully dance with
I'm aboriginal...
And poisoned blankets...
Residential schools and discrimination  frequently happened....
The priests taught Jesus
But beat the hand of a child
*** his screaming was violent
Resistant and frantic....
The system of sadness...
And difference from history classes
Will finally teach
Of the blackness hiding in aboriginal
Past ****...
Like there's no drinkable water
On half of the landscape....
And laws prevent assimilation
Into the modern managing practice...
The land was deemed
To stem culture loss..
But bread the hate from generation.
Of gospel from Satan
Take for granted they called him God..
To the supposed natives they deemed savages
In classrooms...
Like the beouthuk genocide actually *******
Happened
By Irish settlers who though sly handed
Native bandits raided encampment...
When in truth the tribe
Law was share anything gathered
Stealing was not a concept
Till the Europeans claimed land and
I'm just breaking down arguments
From every side...
Like looking glass made from glass
Beading a pattern
In our tragic Canadian pages
From systemic. Genocide....
While acting perfect
Like my beautiful sister Madison...
Jk I better dhut up or Madison
Will havr my *** again...
**** it... she's actually
The coolest smartest bad *****....
But im the ***** up who was talented...
Still love you like I'm throwing up blood...
Puking up red again....
Family and strength...
Like an image of enhancement...
*** the gablehouse
Clans see little sand
Like gods plan and its
Not  polite to be this savage..
Like a floss... speak tongue and cheek
Clean my plaques
Like trophy cases in abandonment
*** im not talented
I'm addicted cant switch a flow
Like tap water... no boiling over

Pathetic transgender Stan and ****
I'm your fan I think
You can handle it....
**** it *****

the voices they ring inside of me
tiny voices
droplets collecting on spiders weaves

little voices
like howls in war or dancing snares
little voices
of loved ones,,,,  gone that are always there
little motion
of poetry that speaks to me
i guess you know that
its beyond the things the eye can see

when all else fails
i turn to love

still dont know why in hell
i shove myself into a tiny locker
when im mad dont know
why the **** i bother

thiis is hell
the song i hear but cannot touch
taste and smell
the ******* feeling that i cant give up
mine as well
be victim to its frozen clutch
this end i say
this end i say its,,,,  to much,,,,, enough

Listen to the timely fashion
Of rhyming antics
My mind has packaged
In synapse
Of time
Ravelling in slap stream fashion
The ******* romance
Of my deprived
And unwise actions
I'm just a man
In female transit
That speaks this fine.
But seems mismanaged


Hella beat call the time sheet
To find me
Underneath the scoreboard
War lord. With Michael jordans
Foot pressing on the floorboards
Crunch time in the land of rhapsody
Four more seconds than its no more....
Ima move it like a pound of porridge
In the mother ******* old folks home.... broke bones
And artforms coming universal
Who you March for
Target defeat racism or take part.. in March for... everyone or wait for God storm..

I'm delusional.
But in the depths of mycalamity.
I'm sleuth in who
I trust to root through. The damaging
To make proof
Of my insanity. Dramatic vanity.
Class suit.
Education is justice of  suitable vernacular for a rhapsody.
Trust in my outward
Insecurity to do.
Exactly what my inner fabric
Has to be.
A tearing seem.
Like my tattered Jean's.
And its maddening.
Creating a complex.
In my brain.
That s patterning
After a savage dream
Of eminem becoming my
Mister "has to be"
And voices laughter
Make ask believe.
If I concieve christ is in my belly
And it's actually happening.
While my opinions are like.
Al gores rythm
Blue skys. Distressing
What's reality
While a pattern emerges
Of me never really mattering.
Like my mom.
Developing a bank account with
8 figure salary.
From a lotto ticket.
Placed in my path
screaming.
Of my brothers incapacity.
To hide his body language.
God having  the audacity.
To listen to fall out boy.
Build complexes.
****** voices to
Enrapture me
In absolute insanity
color becomes
Black and white ... contrast.
Between my opinions
And the facts I see.
Eminem. Christ. Lotto winnings
Basically is what
I believe are happening.

So I'm turning female
Wish dad could have seen his daughter....
Shes cool. And wild.
Like river water..
Next to leaves of autumn.
Changing. Stories.
Like a man. In question under
Lawmen. Lawless from the state.
Now saying. Honest better.
Shes a solemn. Golden spec
In Alaskan rush.
Who learned a mans touch
From her father..
As a boy. Confused.
Bewildered. In a gender.
Not belonging. To his
Posture ever....
Now the leaves have thawed
And summers. Clock.
Is long as her hair..
Mocassins. And bear skin sweater.
All together. But her hearts not leather.
It's a butterfly. In flight.
Sometimes clumsy
Like a toddler.
Making songs
By banging pots together.
Dad. You brought this weather.
Spring was fast.
My bodies. Better.
Love your heart.
Modesty. And proof of ****.
You knew you loved my mom
More than any other star could ever.
Make a wolf sigh.
And cry to the moon.
You knew why I brought you this letter.
Hope it makes it better

Getting in the order of things.
Is mention to swords.
Lore and kings...
Rule of order. Lord of dreams.
The morphing being...
Of formal seeds....
Planted in a roaring field...
To more be seen..
The storm of green.
That hordes its needs from foreign fields......

Don't ever get complacent
In this game of hurricanes
Doctor dres... half dollars...
m and ms
  two chocolate stains
I sampled recordings
As youth of rockets in space
Like aftermath of tupacalypse
Day
With lambs to slaughter like
I'm lion (lying) I'm not closeted gay
Nor trans nor angry constantly
I just like my Walkman ok....
So get lost. I'm mapping out my plot to escape....
Smoking chronic with logic..
To not acknowledge the weight....
Take me to the doctor im always in pain....
**** the palms sweaty
Trees ready. Like a tropical place
Spaghetti stains
Doctor dre tell my mom.
I eat this way *** im obnoxious ok....
If i wasn't so high.
I'd probably vomet
But this chocolate is great...
Can't eat it at all...
**** the closeted brain.....

the answer is a question.
Believe it ....be it...  or **** it
Anxiety is indigestion
Of a future you cant stomach.
Need a bucket.
Reap the harvest of tomorrow
You have to plant seeds.
And man we
Know
Luxury is
a status. I just cant be.
Today's gift
Is push the envelope
Stamped. Addressed
To mister tomorrow
Oumarro  "has been"
And quarantine me in a
Morning
Where the thing between
My legs is more rewarding
*** all you know I'm *****.
I just hide it
On delivery
U.p.s sending wrong packaging
To your door you see
Its killing me

Where do you stand.
Does your presence devide them
Do you lie
And decide. To not stand close holding on right
Beside them.
Uniting is difficult
Decide. Is everything you believe.
Is more than a line between
The people who
Remind you. Of hate. Or why.
Everything is always what you believe

Listen for a second.
Calm your tongue
It wags with anxious.
Your calloused hands
Hold something precious.
Your dignity.
Your virtue within
Your love that blesses us to eternity.
Your unrelenting cause
Of thy fathers glory
The burden less beast
I am
In which I carry all the love he has shown me.
In failure I find
The resilience. Of his love
Is boundless.
Never ceasing.
Never ending.
And forever you are ours to cherish.

Sarcastic exemption
of a flaky perception
Based from confession
of realitys active. Ambition
In the pond of natural living
With ripples from
Instrumentals and pencil shavings
Making a difference
I make war paint from a lead base.
Head case...
Metal taste.. no ammunition gets silenced...
I'll talk violent for a second...
*** i get primal in consecutive sentences in rhyming...
I **** silence like whiskey
And speak my mind for a living
Seeing for blind ness...
And leaving Jesus on my chest peace
*** i really hate violence
No wishing.. you get it...
Apprehension is fatal...
Defy the great depression
In fact *** you pray to the bible
Dollars dont add up...
Its just a paper you make the American Bible...
Like dare to stand against dead presidents...
Like I dont care which ******* terror mode I go
I'm sure my soul will get heaven...
If God shows me to find home
*** i **** nothing but whiskey...
Mister... had so many sins
family dried when my eyes out
Cry till its cried out
And got protected by harder pressure
Than process of diamonds.
From coal. Like the..
Empty soul of the devil
Better get mind blown
And my boys rose pedal eyelids
And rhymes of a child's soul
I know this wise whiskey spoke
I heard a note.
I see I speak from seeing
Only what I know....
Thats my poem...
Hope you like it bro

Living in heaven. Evidently in bliss... *** im living with angels... a different shade of wish...
*** this place still exists..
between mister gray and black chains
Misbehave and get whipped..
Yeah ******* the ****....
But im wanting more of a pain
If thats possible pain to inflict....
But you read the heaven line and stopped
When I said cause pain in this *****....
Keep reading this caution tale.
Smells like riding hood. Aint the dame that she says....
Choke the beast... and slay a vain
Till you make satan your *****....
Break a leg like Leo on titanic
Rivals a brick...
Break a leg. I'll  gape your ****
And private yacht with a peg....
Calgary is the hottest *****
Chinook gets hot when its wet
Your taught that in bed...
You don't wanna want men...
Freezing huddle for warmth
And spread that thought in your head...
That thought is your legs
And there probably dead
But 15 seconds into your movies
My thought is you and Dennis Rodman
probably...
Had ***.....
Second thought is he probably taught you good head.....
Jk Dennis Rodman. Your just my target I guess...
*** this ship is sinking. Like mister
Leo... and nobodies swabbing his deck.......


Side note I love you Leo... but honestly stop using celebrity status to black ball Canadian oil sands.. that global warming you witnessed was a phenomenon known as a Chinook. It comes every year to southern alberta where warm mountain blasts the cold away almost instantly... im not denying climate change... im not saying we need more oil consumption... we need less overall on this earth... but till than stop with the covert propaganda against Canadian oil. Its hypocritical. We don't start wars to control foreign markets like the US government. We have worlds highest safety and environmental standards. Yeah we don't pump it out of our *** like the Saudis. But hey we are some of the hardest working Canadians and we're albrrtan...
Thats what CHOKES me up....

Intelligence and underrated.....
Switchblade kind of
Metaphors...
But figurative speech is the
Literal term
For metaphor... its just better form
Metaphor is like
His head was a devils war...
While analogy cause
Letter wars...
Like s.t.i.. *** im ******* sick in this letter ****.....

Bozos is a mirror man
Samcro2 of a tearful ******
Appearing sacred
I fear he clearly has
My ultimate devotion
For steering man
Into the fearless plan
Of collaboration
Drifted mix with labor
Feeding present past and yet to be created man
We made this man
The safety hand of my well natured
Breath to save the land
From destruction and create amazing
Image of our great love in hand
The toll of bloodshed is done
Once you love this man
His chest
Is nature..  further compass
Into worthy draft
Of furniture recrafted
Refurbished to be inherited
For comfort ***...
As Trump learns fast...
The term of ****** has to be dirt
To worms to feed
The seeds we plant
In fertile earth
To learn these man ways
Deluded and re turned to burning plants
Like time in courage
With Ariel in earth
Of gravity
Search for bezos in space
He will save the earth of man
Or I will burn this ******
Determined...
Half cooked earthly scam
Of platta over pluomo
Mercury... steady Freddy
In your Celsius smell
The birth of famine
Till collapse of military
Has been handed to the aid
Of Africa..  to build further
Grants
So aids is curbed... like side street
Concrete... here's the
Further stance
Of earth one chance
Bezos making pesos.
If you fuckaround with
Him ill burn my Freddy hands
And turn dreams into
Facing Jason with machete mask
That concludes
Elm street night mares...
Now give Jeff his chance
And ill let him **** me
I'm already Cummings in
My slutty pants

A Devine listening.
Of trippy artifacts and papers...
An artform
Transferred into books on tape....
pragmatic
Saviours..
A feeling made to make a gangster. Feel his greater nature...
Glowing hearts.
ramblings of a sinner..
That shape
The grayness that's still left in winter...
A bitter tongue.
The mic
Like satan's innards... entrails dinner....
A failing game that plays the master.
Against new beginners.
Without a foolish filter.
I make snapchat
Means suit aces
And a duece for kicker...

Hey this is stupid
Wheres cupid.
Show me the hopeful broken arrows
Mood is beautiful
Cave is doomed but
The entrance soon won't be so narrow
If you swoon
And make me move
Debonair with flair ...be oh so careful
Bruises on your shaft
Because the stupid
Gold is overflowing from your barrel
Told you better to be
Foolish
End up with two kids
Than be careful and end up with
Half a barrel
Buy a stairway upto heaven
Hazard pay in devil stairwell.
Peril path abandon
Gold. I warned you to be careful

All my life I thought I'd never make it...
now I strive for mental patience..
*** time and grind make.
Friction
Sparks and  greatness...
If heart is made to take the weight
Of loss and break it
Reach
The after life
While present in this realm of sanitation...
Cleaning  up of my hazard mind...
In slashing prices as advertised
Causing
Panic buys...
*** new lows... is the actual advantage
Of a masked up van that rides
With
janitorial masterminds...
And its 7 man masking time....
Ask God is he precious dude....
Let us have it... arrest me in my tennis shoes....
Mental deception weapons
The menace who...
Created cognition dissension
Me I invented you....
I made the hospital my second residence....
The emergency
My second room
And worked when the cable
Auto loans and rent was due...
But eventually. Settled on
A check for my mental *****
I cant function. At one thing.
But
Excel at a level of melody in  truth....
Like eventual distortion
Is not an inevidible doom
As long as the premises. Is genesis
I wont sag a bit.. unless
Your telling me to
Surrounded by hell...
Alphabet heaven. I sent a letter to you
C I m breathing.
And I'm never with you..

Whatever I do...
So **** genesis..
Lets make exodus... a letter to you
Just a mess. In my head
Messaging you

Naji. I apologize. I haven't been the greatest.
*******. Delayed departures. And train of thought that never made it.
I hate *******.
I love the smell.
I'm a slave but you may never hear me say it.
I hope uou make it.
Your so sacred.
God gave me zero cravings for alcohol.
I stumble fall. And raise.
I hope you hear this all.
*** I'm not what I appear at all.

I need your light. My sweet surrender.
I remember where
My center was.
Had so much *** for pleasure.
But the men were
Self centered *****.
I make every love your mentor ***.
I sense your the best ever
Mentor that has ever come.
Your only filled with
Depth of love.
I'm in the clutches of a tethered grip.
Mental prison.
But my love for you is endless its
A hold that I won't ever slip.
I love you im just sorry
Your mother's
Such a selfish *****

Avoid crack *******.
Cooking its lethally destructive.
These aren't peanut butter
Cookies in this mother *******
Oven.
Jordan gablehouse.
Name stunted.
Just jordan I'm discussing
Cause the most famous
Go by one name
Like Shakira. J lo.
Britney and mclovin
But im writing such ******* dumb ****.
The assumption is.
My brain is on dysfunction.
*******.
No name bologna.
AND A bunch of bananas
In my lunch kit.
When I wake from this
Corruption.
Hope I realize the love I gave to someone was enough
To make me sacred and special.
Enough to love it

I wanted to be famous.
Among a menagerie of other things.
I thought that my creative
Gifts. Would bless. But something
Truly Puzzles me.
It
Muzzles me. Befuddles me.
Its my own ******* fuckery.
I'm a diamond in the rough
But no one has discovered me.
So **** it.
Let's keep trucking.
Till I **** at what
I thought would bring me luxury