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50 · Sep 27
Invisible
Onyx Sep 27
Invisible without a coat of unnatural powders on my skin
Strolling unnoticed through crowds in big hoodies
Hot days ruin my usual calm and the outfit is swapped
Exchanged for a simple skirt and shirt
I do up my face to hide my discomfort with my clothing
Eyes linger on me much longer than necessary
Constant glances from women and men
I know when I'm home I'll wash and in an instant
I will simply disappear again
For in my most comfortable, I have found
I am invisible
I hate makeup
50 · Oct 15
Fading Echoes
Onyx Oct 15
In shadows deep where silence weeps,
Lost laughter lingers, and memory sleeps.
The moon, a ghost, casts pale, soft light,
Reminding us gently of a vanished night.

Each sigh a story, each tear a trace,
Whispers of joy in a haunted space.
Yet in the stillness, a flicker remains—
Sorrow and beauty entwined in chains.

Every voice in a unique timber,
None are quite the same.
Echoes filling the world—
Born simply to fade.
Onyx Sep 26
Hello.

My name is
Unimportant

My favorite color is
Black as night

My birthday is
meant to be forgotten

My love is
no one

My address is
nowhere

My best friends are
voices in my head

I eat lunch
all alone

I write words slightly hoping
that they are my last

I show little care for myself
Not worth it

I eat when I feel like it
only at home

One to two meals a day is
survivable

Weekends are my heaven
calm and quiet

I used to imagine my last day
but it is not worth it

I will disappear eventually
perhaps I was never here

Maybe I was your imagination all along
Your loneliness made me

Do not worry my friend I'm here
I will not leave you alone
there for those i care for. you know who you are
48 · Sep 26
Recovery
Onyx Sep 26
The scar on my hand is mostly faded
The pain decided not to last
My matches are gone
No more smoke in the room
No more burns on my skin
47 · Nov 4
Silently Judging
Onyx Nov 4
This Saturday my mother and I

Went to a ballet that behaved more like a play

The name of the show was Dracula and it was fabulous

My mother and I quite enjoyed it

However, I find that it is safe to assume

That the parents of the young children within the room

Were greatly regretting their life choices

After it had ended I saw some very confused toddlers

And found myself silently judging
47 · Nov 6
No more..
Onyx Nov 6
I feel exposed

Absolutely defenseless

These judgmental people

And their rumors that cut

Straight through to my core

I sit silently hoping that maybe

They'll stop but they all seem to

Think I'm begging for more
46 · Oct 8
Wish
Onyx Oct 8
Starlight star bright
I'm lying on my back
Having a dream tonight
I wish I may
Wish I might
With this wish
This wish I have tonight
I wish you happiness
I wish for love
I wish for attention
Help from up above
Wishing and wishing
For someone to love
I'm sitting alone
In a lonely dawn
Hoping and wishing
To be proved wrong
I deserve friends
Everyone does
So find me my wish
Before I lose hope
Grant me some peace
Take my soul to keep
My sweet listener
Up above
46 · Sep 25
Gender
Onyx Sep 25
What is gender?
Is it what you are born as?
What you choose to be?
Something that changes day by day?
Something you never quite have?
I believe it's everything and nothing.
An eternal spectrum thats meaning is everchanging.
Something that is interpreted differently by each person.
Gender's meaning is as wide and vast as an ocean.
Something that belongs to you and me. Be yourself no matter who or what that is.
Whether thats boy, girl, genderfluid, genderqueer, agender, or nonbinary like me.
45 · Sep 25
Why?
Onyx Sep 25
Why can't anyone look at me the way I want to be seen?
Why doesn't anyone use the right name?
Why do I need to sit and deal with these pronouns that simply don't fit me?
Why am I told it's just a phase when I know it's not?
Why do people never look me straight in the eye?
Why do I eat alone, sit alone, cry alone?
Why can't I ever sleep at night?
Why do I see shadows in the night?
Why when people speak of me is "autism" the only word they know?
Why is it that no one wants to know me if not for pity?
Why do people hold out their hands simply to ****** them back?
Why is friendship so fleeting that it never seems to last?
Why does love always hurt and end in nothing but loneliness?
Why do I change for others who never even stay?
Why do I not even know who I am anymore?
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
44 · Nov 5
Fine
Onyx Nov 5
I refuse to cry

To show them that they've won

I refuse to show weakness

They do not deserve that satisfaction

My face will remain a blank mask

I will sit silently through the inner turmoil

And convince them that I'm fine

That they absolutely haven't hurt me at all
43 · Sep 25
Heart pains
Onyx Sep 25
I'm not sure why it happened or how
But I'm stuck here again
Caught up in the past thinking old thoughts
Feeling old feelings
Once again choking back tears
From bottled up emotions
I know I have you
I know you'll hold my hand
I know you'll never leave
But I can't stop crying right now
I feel sad without knowing a reason
And I'm trying very hard
To smile for you
But right now..
I can't
I'm sorry if that's disappointing
I'll try harder next time
Just please please please
Go easy on me today
Let me cry and offer comfort
43 · Sep 25
Panic attacks
Onyx Sep 25
Deep breath in....
Hold for two....
Blow it out...
Over and over till
Your pulse goes down
Close your eyes
Count to ten
Don't let your anxiety win
Not again
No time for panic attacks
Try to keep calm
Reach out to your friends
They've been there all along
You aren't alone
You'll be ok...
But what if you are alone..?
What if you can't calm down?
Tell me what I'm supposed to do now
When the panic has set in
And the air has left my lungs
I will not pray.. Not a Christian
Should I curl into a ball?
Just wait for it to go away?
You dont always have people to hold on to
42 · Sep 25
Piano
Onyx Sep 25
I know how to play the notes
I memorized the tune
The timing sets in easily
Learned sheet music to "Talking to the Moon"
But every time someone's watching
Even if they just walked into the room
My fingers slip and a sour note plays
Maybe I really am just a waste of space
Onyx 1d
I long for dead dreams

Yearn for lost memories

I wish I could turn back time

To when you stood by me

             - Jinx
41 · Nov 6
I want...
Onyx Nov 6
I want connections

But feel better off simply hiding

Sitting alone in the dark depths

Of my closet back at home


I want attention

But feel better off without strangers

Eyes resting on me at all times

I'll hide on the inside
Onyx Oct 23
I want to be heard
But
I don't want to speak
And
I want to be remembered
But
I don't want to be different
And
I know I'm free
But
Sometimes I feel trapped
And
My head's not in the clouds
But
I stare at the sun
And
I don't want kids
But
I love toddlers
And
I want to be a teacher
But
I don't want to go to college
40 · Sep 27
Your demon
Onyx Sep 27
Mi voz es tranquila.
Mis sueños son grandes.
Me encanta leer.
Nací para escribir.
Hago lo que quiero. Pierdo cualquier pelea física.
Podría dominarte psicológicamente.
Sólo mírame a los ojos.
Soy un demonio en tu armario.
Adivina mi nombre y vive si tienes razón.

(My voice is calm.
My dreams are big.
I love reading.
I was born to write.
I do what I want.
I lose any physical fight.
I could overpower you psychologically.
Just look me in the eyes.
I'm a demon in your closet.
Guess my name and live if you are right.)
was in the mood for spanish but dont expect perfection
39 · Sep 25
BPD
Onyx Sep 25
BPD
Emotional, irratic, ironic, sarcastic.
Happy, sad, angry, happy, sad, angry, blank.
Rinse. Repeat. Start over. Feel it again.
Laugh, scream, smile, cry, stare out into space.
Fit in wonderfully, feel awfully out of place.
Cover your ears, block out the noise, I cant...
It's all in my head. I'm stuck in my head.
39 · Oct 7
My Raccoon
Onyx Oct 7
I have a stuffed Raccoon

I call him Poe to myself

Though when people ask his name

I must introduce him properly

For to strangers he shall be called his proper name

I have a stuffed raccoon

One who sleeps by my pillow at night

Named after a poet

One of my favorite poets in fact

So since to him you are all strangers

I shall now introduce him properly

My silly raccoon plushie

Who wears a blue bow

His name is Poe

Edgar Allen Poe
38 · Oct 25
I cant stop
Onyx Oct 25
I don't know what I'm doing

I can't stop writing

My fingers refuse to cease their movement

I have too many feelings

Too many thoughts

An idea building up

But I don't know how to shape it

I don't know how to treat it

To feed it

Is it an enemy?

I wish to defeat it

A lump is growing in my throat

My stomach is full of knots

I have too many issues

They're all pouring out

There's no holding back now

My thoughts are an ocean

There is no solid ground
37 · Oct 25
Old friends
Onyx Oct 25
The clock is ticking down

Why does time pass so slowly?

I feel years older already

Though only days have gone by

Life is harder without their smiles

I wish they still wanted me around

Friendship was what fueled me

Now my soul is breaking down

I wonder how long it will take

For me to realize it was my mistake

That scared them all away

A year? A month? A week? A day?

No, I feel I already knew

But not exactly what I'd done

I miss them dearly

Their smiles were my sun

The world shines less brightly now

My school days feel grey

I want them back but...

I'll get used to it
37 · Oct 7
Mind
Onyx Oct 7
My mind is broken

No longer thinking me or I

My brain says we

I see things sometimes

Might need to get some sleep

I've heard sounds before

I should see a shrink

I swear I saw a ******* bird

It slammed right into my window

One would think there'd be a scratch

My window is spotless

Sometimes my light flickers

Maybe it's just my eyes

I think I'm lost

I'm losing my mind

Getting pulled in

Soon to be trapped inside

People stare at me

I desperately want to hide
Onyx Sep 25
A thoughtfulness may come from simply sitting still,
But stillness can echo with a haunting chill.
Silence, noise, darkness, light… Endless changes,
Endless thrill… yet beneath it, sorrow arranges.
Sitting still… being real… in a world that feels unreal.
Each heartbeat a reminder of the wounds we conceal.

Grab a book and flip through the pages, but know,
The weight of knowledge carries a burden of woe.
Absorb the truths that fracture your heart,
Expand your vocabulary, but feel the world fall apart.
Overpower others with the knowledge you wield,
Yet realize that knowing can leave you unhealed.

Know the cause of true evil, the names and the dates,
Each lesson learned carved deeper your fates.
Turn back through time and feel every loss,
The voices of the fallen, the shadows they toss.
Read the books banned, the truths long suppressed,
Unravel the fabric of a past, unaddressed.

You strive to be successful, to thrive in despair,
But each victory reminds you of those who don’t care.
Prove everyone wrong, but at what cost to your soul?
In a world so cruel, do you ever feel whole?
Living is brave, yet a lonely endeavor,
A battle fought daily, with no promise of ever.

Live, sit, breathe, think, remember, learn,
In the ashes of hope, watch the embers still burn.
Thrive, develop, teach, and be real,
Yet the ache of existence can make it hard to feel.
The world may be waiting, but you’re still adrift,
In the silence that lingers, find the heart’s rift.

Sitting still in the shadows, your mind takes flight,
In the depths of the darkness, you search for the light.
But sometimes the light only casts deeper the night,
And the weight of your thoughts pulls you further from sight.
35 · Oct 23
Today
Onyx Oct 23
I see an opening and

I'm gonna go for it

So many people would

Throw a blow for it

I'll do all the work and

Get the reward to show for it

My life, my mind, my legacy

All of it has to start with me

So lucky to have been born

Here where we're all free

Look at the sky up above

Its pureness is full of love

I'm not afraid to make mistakes

I know from them I'll learn

I grow stronger every day

Chasing after a wish I made

So I'll keep my promise

Even if they don't

I'll be myself

Even if people point

I wont care what they say

No one can ruin my day

Today
35 · 2d
Maze
Onyx 2d
Tell me answers

To all of life's hardships

Because I am lost

Hold back my hair

As I choke out false answers

And flush them away

Teach me how to be happy

Instead of a ball of stress

Because all is not as it seems

The twists and turns of

This sense of false security

Is a maze that attempts

To take away my mind
Onyx 1d
I'm honestly mildly offended

At the words I have just read

However, I have to admit

  I partially agree with the

Things that were said

Maybe I need to grow

A backbone

And be myself

But its easier to be

Somebody else

- Rain
34 · Sep 25
Person made of glass
Onyx Sep 25
Keep throwing your rocks
And watch me fall
I'm starting to crack
My heart hurts
My minds dying
But keep throwing your rocks
Say more hurtful words
**** me even more
I'm falling apart
I can't take much more
Keep throwing your rocks
I'm a person made of glass
Keep throwing your rocks
I'm ready to leave
Please make me disappear
Childhood bullying builds character right?
34 · Sep 26
Truth about me
Onyx Sep 26
Anxiety
It's calling me
Making me an
Insomniac

Hyperventilating
I can't breathe
I am so
Paranoid

Outcast
I don't fit in
They are all
Staring

Leave
Don't look here
I want to
Disappear

Fear
I'm so scared
I need to
Hide

Skin
Tear it away
Let them see
Inside
34 · Oct 7
Thoughts
Onyx Oct 7
Been a while

They ask how I've been doing

Oh I'm fine

Been about two days since I cried

People say my face looks like a dog just died

Oh it's ok

It's alright I'm fine

Smiling all the time

Real or fake?

Who cares?

Made a mistake

Bumped my head

Don't fret; I'm not dead

Oh I'm fine

I'll say it all the time

I'm alright

Even if I'm not

Sleep is way too hard

Maybe I should just start

Intrusive thoughts say to give up

Maybe I should start
33 · Sep 25
Witch
Onyx Sep 25
Don't ask too many questions
I don't know myself
If you get sick don't blame me
I don't affect your health
I see accusations in your eyes
Blaming me every time someone cries
My mental state is crumbling
Leaving just enough to surmise
If it makes you feel better
Make me your witch....
Burn me to ashes in the forest
Wish I didn't start ****
Sorry you were part of it
Just make me your witch
33 · Oct 28
Fake
Onyx Oct 28
I don't count on happiness

Or expect perfection

The day comes and goes

With a shallow ache of rejection

I paste a smile on my face

Tell my parents I had a good day

Listen to loud music to hear the noise

Get stuck between the bathrooms for girls and boys

Questioning myself and my choices

Ignoring the whispers of condescending voices

I try to be helpful... Try to be good

I use my manners like any good kid should

I hide behind fake cheerfulness

And hide from the world with fantasy

Video games and anime consume my days

While I hide from the sun and its blinding rays

I spend so much time being someone else

That slowly but surely I lose myself
Onyx 1d
I lost count of the numbers

So I hope I got it right

I want to talk about Pheonix

Who used to be my light

Much like the bird he burned out

And left me to play alone

But I wont be sad because

If home is where the heart is

I'm already home

     -Yuki
Onyx 1d
I want to write about Rain

Because I know he's shy

Never thought a kid who's dyed

His unruly hair would be

So frightened of people

That he'd start to cry

But honestly

He's been through a lot

And is one of the strongest

People I know

Though he's way too good

At going with the flow

-Myles
32 · 2d
Lies fuel me
Onyx 2d
One of my exes has

Chosen to tell everyone

That is the reason we had ended

Was as simply because I was gay

However, he himself is bi and

I happen to be pan

The truth behind the end

Stands as follows

He was a cheat

And I walked away

I chose not to even

Deal with pointless sorrows

I will not even crumble

He will be the only who weeps

For his lies have fueled my rage

My rage has fueled his downfall

And I hate him most of all
Onyx 1d
Honey, I'm home

Just kidding

Well not really

Gotta say I'm glad

To be back

I'm exhausted

But way too tired

Ta hit the sack

And all these people

In my head

Seem ta view me

As a friend

Well that's a first

Anyway this's never

Been my specialty

I prefer free verse

   - Anthony
the nickname's usually Angel but we have an Angel so get the real name
29 · Sep 25
Mentality
Onyx Sep 25
I'm in the dark
Sometimes I'm ok
I never feel anything
My emotions are fake
I copy others expressions
I cry without reason
Smiles are real now
I hide my laugh from view
I'm not scared of the dark
I sleep with a light
I listen to music to relax
It doesn't block out the sounds of night
My mind is contradictory
My thoughts don't feel like mine
I think I'm losing my mind
The shadows say I'm fine
29 · Oct 18
Morning thought
Onyx Oct 18
My brain is a twisted web,
A tangled mess of thoughts,
I don't even know all that’s in there—
Sometimes it feels like I’m going insane.

Never have I been more afraid,
Self-loathing hits an all-time high;
I can't decide whether to cry
Or let go entirely, wishing to die.
Onyx 1d
We knew someone once

But we no longer do

We shared her together

Never thought we'd be through

But now she is further then ever before

And I hope that she is safe with you

We trust you Blue

         - Rea
28 · Sep 30
Morning routine
Onyx Sep 30
Wake up in the morning before my alarm
Get dressed and sit in silence
Wait til I hear a sound from the other rooms
Go to wash my face, brush my teeth
Walk down the stairs fully prepared to leave
Get to work for just an hour
When the bell rings it's time for me to run
School has started, hell has begun
my morning 6 am to 8:30 am
26 · Oct 25
ME
Onyx Oct 25
ME
I can't look up

My eyes are glued to the ground

I stand taller just to be pushed down

Always smile and never frown

Don't let them see they won over me

Just be quiet and obedient

And get home free

Who cares if they're younger

I know they're stronger

At least they tolerate me

So I'll keep my head down

Never let them see

What they do to me

I'll keep my voice in

They want my food

So I'll let them take it

Those boys...

They're so much bigger than

ME
Onyx 1d
Too many thoughts are flowing

Too many words are growing

So before they spill out in the wrong way

And leave a bad taste in our mouth

We have decided to take a short break
22 · 1d
I wonder
Onyx 1d
I wonder how life would be

If I still remembered who I was

I wonder if I would be happier

If I hadn't lost myself to

Other's expectations

I wonder what I would see

If my mind was able to dream

I wonder what would happen

If I was reborn as a bird

Would I be 100% free?

— The End —