Do you write for yourself?
Maybe in the hope that someone reads it?
Or do you create because you're supposed to.

There is only a brief and fleeting moment, never to be experienced again.
Where words flow on digital paper and I think about you.

You'll probably never see this; I don't expect you to Google my name.
But I wish you didn't have to and we could share this.
But that's not meant to be.

You're remarkable.
And I still love you.

So I guess this one is for me.

At death's door he stood,
"Release your last words, mortal."
In his last breath, "yeet."

I wish the bad memories were easier to remember,
Because the positive ones make me miss you the most.

I wish the fights we had were the first thing I thought of,
Not the smell of your hair from the shampoo still in the shower.

I wish I could remember the hurt before I remembered the love,
Because without the ******* I still want you back.

I wish I could have found a single imperfection with you,
Because then I would understand why two people aren't meant to be together.

I wish sleepless nights of hurt and anger were the ones I remember,
Not the ones where I feel lonely and forgotten.

I wish time moved faster for us,
So I would have less of a gold standard to how someone should make me feel.

I wish I hated you,
Because I crave the way you hated me.

When I was younger I injured myself.
From the injury I hurt the muscles in my eye,
Which occasionally allows my eye to "drift."
Late at night, sometimes I'll see two of something,
But it usually only happens when I'm very tired.
I wish I could have been more tired around you.
I wish I could have seen more of you,
Even if it was the same moment.
There could have been two of you.

But now there's none of you.

That's a long time, 17 years.
When I met you we didn't see eye to eye,
In fact, I regret how I acted towards you.

17 years.
That's a **** long time.
Every **** say turned perfect when you meet me,
Whenever I'd come home, you'd kiss me.

17 years.
Can't believe it was that long.
My favorite memories are napping together,
Because you were always so perfect.

17 years.
How were they so fast?
Even when I returned home you feel asleep,
Right on my lap, so if course I stayed.

17 years.
Not long enough.
I miss you, best friend.
With every fiber of my being I miss you so much.

I could say "I Love You," 1000 times,
And each time it might mean something different.

I love you, for how you bring light into a room.
I love you for how you make me feel.
I love you, because you're my best friend.

Or when I say "I love you," and with every fiber of my being, as indefinable as it is, I love you, in the way you want it to be.

Today I won.
The war inside me is over.
I've lost so many battles;
But the war is won.
And I celebrate.